daveblythe69 Reviews

Ringu (1998)

Scarred the c*ap outta me

[10/10 · 3 March 2003]

this film was unbelievably brilliant. i was so so very terrified the first time i watched it i had to turn it off half way through. i managed to get through the whole film eventually and i was totally blown away, everything about the film was perfect, without a doubt the scariest film i've ever seen. sadly i was unfortunate enough to see the dire remake, and that made realise more just how brilliant this film really is. the plot is brilliant and perfectly done throughout. theres this tape and seven days after you watch it you die. well fair enough its as simple as that, people watch the tape people die more people watch the tape they try and figure out whats really going on and try learn how to stop it a simple enough plot played out perfectly. i can't sing praises high enough for the greatness that this film reaches, i highly recommend it to everyone everywhere you will absolutely cack yourself!!!!!

A Crack in the Floor (2001)

cheese? yes, But it's quite good cheese!!!

[6/10 · 1 March 2003]

i bought the film kinda by accident, i had no idea what it would be like or anything i just read the box and thought it looked and sounded like the cheesey 80s horror flicks like The Burning and The Mutilator which i found really suprisingly enjoyable, plus i thought it was £4 (i misread the label it wasn't it was £9 but not wanting to look totally foolish i got it anyhow and started looking forward to it on the long ride home. the film was quite reasonable, it reminded me a lot of camp Blood which i loved for the sheer cheesey value of it, this movie seemd like it was a lot better because it had much bigger names attached, but the effects were a lot poorer than camp blood, the story was kinda fun tho and Mario Lopez kicks ass!!!! the plot involves Jerimiah a small child who watches his mum get raped and then killed skip forward 33yrs and he is living in the basement and he starts killing people who disturb him. simple yet quite fun and very cheesey with a decent cast. anyone who likes cheesey flms should definetly see it

The Ring (2002)

WHY WHY WHY

[1/10 · 16 February 2003]

ok, i got hold of this film after having seen the original and been absolutely terrified by it, i couldn't get through it the first time was much too scared. but this one i just wanted to kill myself it was so so bad on its own not just in comparison. they tried to make it different by changing some thing about the film but it all just falls flat on its face. there isn't anything in the film except a promising performance from the guy who played Noah. the kid was just whinny and irritating, the dialogue was kinda dire and Brian Cox is completely pointless and unnesesary in the film. the effects in the film are appauling and really not needed see the original for proof that CGI aint needed, or see the Two Towers for how to CGI somebody well. i suppose ishould comment on the plot at some point apart from just bitching about how bad it is. a journalist promises her sister that she will find out what killed her daughter, which leads her to uncover the tape that seven days after watching it you die, she watches the tape and so do some others and then it has some pointless rubbish and it ends badly and unlike the original. there is very little that remains the same about the remake, for a good example of remaking a classic and brilliant japanese movie and making it american you can do no wrong it watching the magnificent seven! but if you want a film that is just quite bad tehn fine go ahead. but please at least give some consideration to watching the original and you can't possibly argue that this is in anyway 1 billionth the film that is! a poor film and one of the worst americanised remakes i've ever seen

Holy Virgin vs. The Evil Dead (1991)

Not what i was expecting but SO very good!!!

[8/10 · 3 February 2003]

i got hold of this classic from a friend and set down to watch it expecting some kinda cheesey porn with no storyline, terrible acting and an appauling script. But what i got suprised me, the script was really good and one of the best fantasy martial arts storys i've ever seen, granted this isn't a lot but the story kept my attention and i pleasantly pleased. the acting wasn't fantastic but it was a lot better than you see in most films. the nudity wasnt iver used although at times it was VERY pointless an example is one of the most amusing and confusing tracking shots that i know, about 200 naked women standing around taking there clothes off for no reason.

The story is simple and brilliant and explains itself perfectly as the movie develops to let the audience learn more and more. The Moon monster kills and rapes several female students and injures their teacher, he gets out on bail and tries to hunt down the moon monster, this leads to a load of different plot turns and developments and telling them here may spoil the enjoyment for you. a very enjoyable movie that everybody should try and hunt down and watch and enjoy. 8/10 top job

American Pie 2 (2001)

More enjoyable shinanagans

[8/10 · 24 January 2003]

very simple and a lot of fun if you've seen the first and liked that then it'll be the same with this film most likely, the films good fun and has some fantastic jokes, Jim and Stifler are hilarious throughout and the plot develops well. The plot is simple after the first year of college the gang from the first film get back together and after having their parties stopped at Stiflers they rent a house at the beach and have a big party! thats the film and its great fun, loadsa jokes and good cast.

A.I. Artificial Intelligence (2001)

What could have been so very good

[6/10 · 24 January 2003]

The movie starts quite slow but quickly picks up and pulls it all together to get the viewer thrilled and then it doesn't end when it should have, there was a pointless and appauling 30minutes tagged onto the end of the movie that just stopped it being one of the greatest movies ever told. The plot is quite simple a robot boy wants to be human, kinda like pinnochio of the future then some random stuff happens and it WONT END!!!! thats my only real problem that it went on far longer than it needed to or should have! the casting was brilliant Jude Law turned in a fantastic performance and the direction was above average, spielberg certainly knows how to get the most out of his cast i just dont like the endings or some of the choices he makes regarding the odd bit of camera work but these are merely niggling holes in a good film worth seeing but turn it off about 30min from the end.

The Usual Suspects (1995)

FANTASTIC

[10/10 · 15 January 2003]

No real words can express how good this movie is! everything about the movie is about as perfect as Hollwood perfection can be! The film did everything right, actors were brilliant, script is mind bendingly brilliant, the direction and everything was blissfuly perfect. I'd recomend this movie to anyone and everyone! can't say enough good so i shall say no more. check it out!

Witchfinder General (1968)

how a british classic should be

[10/10 · 15 January 2003]

the "true" greatest british horror movie! this movie is amazing its a fantstic tale of revenge murder and witchcraft, perfectly executed brilliantly cast and a fantasticly well written script.

The story is simple yet brilliant, during the civil war law is pretty much all screwy so this witchfinder takes it upon himself to do gods work and rid the country of witches, he travels around getting confesions from people and killing them. when he sleeps with the wrong girl and kills her uncle her husband takes an oath with the lord to rid the world of this so called witchhunter. what begins as a terrifying and fantastic horror quickly gallops along into a beautiful yet eerie chase as the hero hunts down Matthew Hopkins: Witchfinder General!

The movie is well cast and the actors turn in some of the best performances of their career, Vincent Price is superb and chills the viewer with his disturbing portrayal of Hopkins. i can't really rate this film highly enough it's superb in everyway, there is nothing missing from it. a well deserved 10/10

Comic Book Villains (2002 Video)

Rather absurd but very enjoyable

[8/10 · 6 January 2003]

a strange premise about stealing a mile high collection of pristine comic books, with a strong underrated cast and some brilliant witty lines, great references, the film is quite strange and a bit slow at times but it still makes for enjoyable watching. the characters turn in a good performance and some of the set pieces are thoughrally entertaining, especially Cary Elwes who is a genius!!!! the film is definetly worth seeing at least the once and you may end up going back for more, aimed more towards the comic book fans which seems to be expanding rapidly with the release of such box office hits as Spider Man and X Men.

Eight Legged Freaks (2002)

A perfect B-Movie homage

[10/10 · 4 January 2003]

this has all the makings of a future classic paying beautiful and perfect homage to all the classic B-Movies that we all know and love, from the classic references and brilliant in jokes, the fantastic corny dialogue, the perfect cast acting there socks off to bring back all the memories that everyone knows and loves of the golden age of B-Movies. the story is simple and ludicrous,

toxic waste spill crossed with exotic spider farm = giant killer spiders attacking a town.

FANTASTIC has everything you need from a movie, the conspiracy theorist nut job on the radio played greatly by the fantastic Doug E. Doug, the town boy who has just returned to be the hero played by the ever excellent David Arquette who is the most perfectly cast B-Movie actor EVER! and the really hot sherriff who is in love with the hero and vice versa, a great film, some ropey effects on occasion but it only adds to the brilliant and fantastic B-Movie feel of a truly great and memorable movie i hope more movies like this come along and quickly!

Death to Smoochy (2002)

WHY wasn't this a box office smash?

[9/10 · 4 January 2003]

a superb premise, a superb cast, and a superb set! all these and a magic script make for a brilliant movie i really cant understand how it didnt do brilliant at the box office Do people have no sense of humour? the actors really get into the script when needed and danny devito is again proving himself as a great director as well as actor, the story is twisted and blacker than i could've imagined. i had to have the film imported on DVD so that i could watch it as it is set to never get a deserved UK release and i'm VERY glad i did, i am a huge fan of robin williams and a keen follower of Norton and both put in a fine performance. but nothing in the film can compare to how wonderful and delightful the story is! even if everything else in this movie was absolute tosh (which it is far from being) then it would still be worth seeing for the plot, nothing in movie history will ever be as wicked and wonderful as this. i love it, GO see it 9/10

Phantoms (1998)

Ben Affleck Is Da Bomb In Phantoms Y'all

[7/10 · 3 January 2003]

Ben kicks ass in a great little romp, destined to go down in cinematic history through the references in JASBSB. a great performance from all involved, clever story and an equally good if not better script curtosy of having the Author being there! becomes quite eerie and uses some good effects. a convenient movie full of coincidences, a few holes are left in the plot tho because of this. this being said it does start to drift off towards the end. not to take anything away from it a thoughrally enjoyable movie. Not a must see, but well worth watching.

Battle Royale (2000)

WOWZERS this film rocks

[10/10 · 31 December 2002]

Holey Moley this film was amazing! I'd been trying to figure out for a while if i should buy the film and then i suddenly found it in a video store near by! Yes i was happy so i rented it and then the same day went and bought the movie for myself, i ended up watching the film about 4 times that weekend. The movie is just that good it is about as perfect film that i could imagine, and the performance's are superb Takeshi Kitano gives his character the perfect mix of comedy and really f**ked up dude to the role, a superb movie that everyone should see at least once. The movie is basically about this new act brought in by the government to control the population and give the youth some disapline by sending a randomly selected class off to kill one another and the winner gets to live.

great film, great actors, i can't wait for the sequel! 10/10

Halloween: Resurrection (2002)

Why did this film get bashed?

[7/10 · 4 December 2002]

I went to see this movie, after reading seemingly terrible reviews for it everywhere, and i want to shout at them all, the movie was a perfect addition to the series. The explanation they used works really well it even gets you thinking back to the previous instalment H20 and wondering if you could actually see this happening. The plot moves along quite quickly and mixes the laughs you have grown to expect from modern horrors with the good old fashioned shocks. My main problem was with the new mask he got himself, why the hell do you change the greatest mask in horror history??? Busta rhymes is amusing and fulfilss his purpose well, but they had to go and bring him back at the end this is a silly thing to do with black rapper actors as far as im concerned!!!!! But the ending once again sets it up for another sequel, i just hope that it is as good as this was. Still not as good as Halloween 6 but thats just my love for slipping back perfectly into the story of Mr Myers. overall a good film 7/10

Camp Blood (2000 Video)

So bad its good?

[8/10 · 4 December 2002]

the only way i can think of to describe this movie. so bad its good! the movie is a good way to pass a short time, humouous and clever, the acting is quite appauling but it works with the story, all i can think is how much i want to make a second sequel!!!

see it to pass the time, and enjoy it! 8/10