cdoelle Reviews

Extraction (II) (2015)

Wow, this was bad

[4/10 · 6 January 2019]

It had a good cast - well at least Bruce Willis (although it was clearly a paycheck film for him.) The story line seemed to just be have been nipped from a half dozen other movies. The dialogue was even worse. The action scenes were worth watching but that was about it.

One Nation Under Trump (2016)

Not remotely a documentary

[1/10 · 6 October 2016]

This is nothing more than a marketing piece for Donald Trump. To call this a documentary is an outright lie. This is not informational, it is simply promotional.

I have nothing against Donald Trump. What I have a problem with is someone selling me one thing and then delivering another. This is not a documentary.

The bulk of the film is simply Trump's campaign stump speeches. If you boiled down all the "documentary" narration, it probably comes out to ten lines. Everything else in this is Trump on the podium talking about "believe me" "trust me" "it's going to be great."

Vivacious Lady (1938)

They're called "classics" for a reason

[9/10 · 21 February 2007]

It is no secret that my all-time favorite actor is Jimmy Stewart. Every Oscar season, I get an opportunity to catch up on some of his films I haven't seen. Today, Turner Classic Movies played Vivacious Lady. This two-time academy award nominee was a very fun film.

Ginger Rogers' upbeat and fun-loving leading lady is perfect opposite Stewart's shy, but stouthearted leading man. The two work amazing together. It is the epitome of the screwball comedic-romance popular in the 30' and 40's. I have never been a big fan of Ginger Rogers, but I love her in this.

If you can tear yourself away from whiz-bang special effects and poorly-written blockbusters featuring today's megastars... movies like these are worth a look. Not only are the actors much more interesting, but the writing is superior to the majority of films released today.

King Kong (2005)

King Wrong

[3/10 · 19 February 2007]

I have seen the worst blockbuster ever... and it is called King Kong. Yes, I knew it was going to suck from the very first preview. Yes, I decided right then and there to never watch it. What can I say? I was at Mike's house waiting for his wife to return so we could take off and he was watching it. I only saw about 40 minutes of it, but was floored at just how bad it actually was.

There is no excuse for such retarded special effects when someone spends that much money to make a movie. Okay, even if you overlook the 10 minute dinosaur chase scene in which the green-screen actors weren't at all synced with the cgi dinos, and even if you overlook the crazy bug attack scene in which one idiot shoots bugs off another idiots body with a machine gun without so much as a scratch on the guy being eaten and shot at, and even if you overlook the horrible attempt to imbue Kong with human emotion through over exaggerated motions... there was NOTHING good about this film.

The script was worse than Eragon (trust me that is BAD.) The acting was not just bad, it was nonexistent. If you liked this film, you should be arrested by the Taste Police, it is people like you that allow them to keep making garbage like this. Booooo Hiss!

Pan's Labyrinth (2006)

Not that Amazing

[6/10 · 19 February 2007]

Pan's Labyrinth was a total shocker. From the previews, I was expecting a fairy tale. I literally thought I was in for fairies, goblins, and all manner of fantastical creatures. Sure, there was some of that in PL... but this is no kids film.

I was blown away by the sheer violence and gore. Don't get me wrong, I love a good bloodbath film, but this just seemed a bit too gratuitous. The story itself was okay, but in reality it was just a retelling of an old theme with added gore.

One of the reasons I watch films is to be surprised... to not know what to expect... to have a film lead me somewhere as I follow engrossed in it all. The only thing that wasn't standard "I know what comes next" fare were the occasional bouts of violence. I have seen both storytelling and violence handled much better.

Bastards of the Party (2005)

If you could just get them to watch it

[8/10 · 19 February 2007]

Bastards of the Party is a new documentary running on HBO that examines the rise of gangs in the Los Angeles area. It starts out a little slow and seems to be making excuses for the members - the same tired ones you have heard over and over - but it quickly turns into a fascinating historical piece.

From the early days when Compton was an all-white area, through the civil rights movement and rise of the US Party and Black Panther Party - it is compelling stuff. The real eye-opening stuff involves the actual demise of the BPP and USP orchestrated by Hoover's FBI. The information about the FBI's CoIntelPro and their efforts to undermine these groups is now public record, what surprised me was the details about how the program started these groups fighting each other.

The legacy of the FBI's destruction of the black cohesiveness still survives with the black-on-black crime that is still rampant between these gangs nearly 40 years later. The only downside of the film other than the apologetic start is the left-wing politico-speak that summarizes the film. It is a good history that does an excellent job of giving the facts, when it slips into this type of preaching, it loses a lot of credibility.

The final point about gang names versus given names is especially poignant. Good stuff.

Borat (2006)

Itsa... howyousay.... vera bad!

[5/10 · 7 January 2007]

Before you think I just don't like the kind of humor presented by Sasha Baron Cohen in Borat, let me assure you that I absolutely loved his HBO series Da Ali G Show. I loved all of the characters including the Borat one. What I didn't care for was this horrible movie.

It wasn't until the second half of the film that I even laughed out loud for the first time. The only scenes I found remotely funny were the ones in which he was at the religious revival and at the formal dinner in Georgia. Other than that, it was one big stinker. It is once again a classic example of the difficulty of translating a skit into a full-length film. The writing was horrible, the over-the-top attempts to be gross, and the poorly acted scenes littered between the staged skits made the film barely watchable.

Rocky Balboa (2006)

Yo, Rock..... you DID IT!!!

[8/10 · 18 December 2006]

I went to a free sneak preview of the new movie, Rocky Balboa and BOY was it fun!! Put most of the sequels in the franchise out of your mind. If you like the original Rocky, you are going to LOVE this one.

This was a return to the underdog story that American fell in love with back in 1976. It was a gritty tale of the little guy digging deep and facing a tough challenge. It was definitely a feel-good movie.

I was especially impressed with Sylvester Stallone's ability to resurrect the feel of the original dialog, the humor, the background of a working class Philadelphia, and even the pre-cosmetic surgery face. Yo, Rock - you DID IT!!

Miami Vice (2006)

Miami Yikes!!!

[4/10 · 4 August 2006]

First off, let me say that the only reason I watched this movie is because it was free and there was nothing else to do. Miami Vice was a real stinker. Perhaps that isn't the right word... maybe crap fest is more to the point.

Seriously, a free movie should not make you feel cheated... but this bit of celluloid trash not only wasn't worth the price of admission, but made me feel dirty for consenting to sit through it. Colin Farrell's accent went in and out throughout the film, Jaime Foxx, who has proved he can act, just phoned this one in, and the rest of the cast was... well, forgettable. The biggest blame of all falls squarely on the shoulders of Michael Mann.

Not only did he over direct, over-audio-enhance, and under-light the whole thing... his writing is horrible. Hey, I know Mann is not known for his writing skills, but this made some of his earlier debacles seem watchable. An average episode of the old Miami Vice TV show seems like Shakespeare compared to this mindless crud. Boo hiss, Mr. Mann! Yeah it is crap with a capital CRAP! Gone is the coolness of Crockett and Tubbs. Gone are the hotties and the whole Miami scene. Even the fast cars and boats were only cameos at best - of less importance that pimping Bacardi and all the other product placement. (I mean how many times do they have to mention the Mojito?) And don't even get me started on the new Lt. Castillo.

Once again, let me say...boo hiss, Mr. Mann! RATING 4 out of 10

Cars (2006)

Cars ROCKS!!

[10/10 · 24 June 2006]

That's right. I have a new favorite animated/computer generated movie. Pixar's Cars is a great movie. Not only does it deliver a very fun film that people of all ages will enjoy... it does it with class and is visually stunning to boot. Just look at this animation! The CGI in the film is simply amazing. Over and over I was struck with how realistically things were rendered. The landscape was stunning, the physics of things like dirt particles/water etc. was breathtaking, and the cars were just too cool.

Sure the story was simplistic and formulaic, but they used a good story and a good formula. I have never cheered a cartoon before... but I was completely caught up in the storyline and wanted desperately for the hero to prevail. There are not many films shot with real actors even that inspire that kind of emotion.

My hat is off to Pixar once again for taking the bar previously set by themselves and raising it even further. That's right... my first 10 star rating of the year. In fact, it has been over a year since my last 10 star rating. (Sin City - April 2005) RATING 10 out of 10

16 Blocks (2006)

16 Remakes

[6/10 · 24 June 2006]

Okay, let me start by saying that I dig Bruce Willis and really haven't found one of his films I didn't like. 16 Blocks was a fun movie to watch but there was really nothing new here.

I know I am showing my age, but didn't Clint Eastwood already do this movie in 1977 when it was called The Gauntlet? Bruce Willis was pretty much the same character he played in the Die Hard series, (#4 is coming soon,) with a drinking problem. And while Mos Def was very fun, it sure seemed like he was just doing an impersonation of Flava Flav.

Bottom line though... despite everything being ripped from somewhere else, right down to David Morse playing a baby-faced, you're-supposed-to-think-I'm-a-good-guy-but-I'm-really-a-bad-guy character, it was a fun flick.

Ice Age: The Meltdown (2006)

So bad it hurts to type

[1/10 · 20 April 2006]

Conventional wisdom tells you to run from sequels... well, unless it is a sequel to an animated film like Toy Story. Conventional wisdom wins out with Ice Age 2. Now, before you think I am just not a fan of the franchise, let me say that I found the original Ice Age a very enjoyable film. This new one - not so much.

Dave said it best when he pointed out to me that the first one had two levels of humor - the 3rd grade stuff and the adult stuff. The silliness and hijinx of the characters was visually funny as well. In IA2 The Meltdown, all of the adult stuff is gone or comes much later in the movie. (I have to admit that I quit watching after about 20 minutes... I just couldn't bear it anymore.) The kiddy humor is intact, but it is not slapstick comedy or even good jokes, it is silly faces on creatures and quite possibly the worst writing I have seen in years. The writing team of Peter Gaulke and Gerry Swallow are the masterminds behind that classic of comedy - Black Knight (and thats the good stuff.) These guys suck too much to be called bad.

It doesn't matter how many high-profile, talented actors voice the words. When the words suck - the film sucks... and this one does.

Munich (2005)

Don't F**K with the Jews!

[8/10 · 24 December 2005]

That's right - or they will hunt you down, kill you or make you sit through a looooooong film about hunting down and killing people. Seriously, that was one of the more memorable lines in Spielberg's new film Munich. And don't take this to mean that I didn't like the film or don't like Jews - its comedy people! I saw an opening and took it.

I was actually surprised that it wasn't the story I expected. It wasn't about how hard life has been on the chosen people - it was actually about how hard the chosen people can be on their enemies. It took an honest look at how governments can make good people do bad things in the name of patriotism. (I am sure the timing is unintentional - right?) Spielberg delivered a strong tale about a pivotal moment in world history. He did with the honesty and he did it with fairness. Good stuff.

Fahrenheit 9/11 (2004)

Moore of the Same Crud

[1/10 · 5 October 2004]

Michael Moore is once again hanging himself with this film. I say film because to call it a documentary is the largest lie of this film filled with deceit - it is propaganda. As usual, Moore takes some great points and buries them in his web of half-truths and outright lies. The point about all the members of Congress having only one child serving in Iraq is brilliant. It speaks to the big problem of the war and the class distinction of having the poor fight a war for the rich man's oil. But this important message is lost among lies about the 2000 election, mistruths about the timing of dealings with the Saudis, deceit about the desires of Iraqi citizens, US troops in Iraq and families at home. If Moore would stick to the facts he would make an ironclad 'documentary' about real problems, instead he makes a mad rant-filled piece that serves only to further divide the positions.

Caesar's Park (2000)

A glorified episode of COPS by an untalented director

[3/10 · 8 December 2003]

Caesar's Park was very interesting - but it felt more like an episode of COPS without the violence than a documentary. There was not much of a point to the whole thing as the filmmaker originally set out to document a small park in a working-class section of Milwaukee and instead told the story of a small group of neighbors. The feeling of the film was that Price thought of the people as lower class, unambitious dullards as she spent her entire life travelling the world prior to making the film. It was interesting to watch - much like an accident on the freeway is an interesting gawk. I was left with the feeling that the director was a snob and was making fun of her subjects. The story is the hard-working middle class people - the story is how Sarah Price and the media has convinced us that unless you are one of the "pretty people" you are an oddity. It is a sad, non-film.

The Reagans (2003 TV Movie)

A horrible revisionist melodrama!

[2/10 · 1 December 2003]

This film was terrible. It is revisionist history at its most blatant. There was no mention of "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall." There was no mention of his tax cuts. There was no mention of the arms treaty he signed eliminating an entire class of nuclear weapons. There was no footage of the wall coming down. There was no mention of the funding appropriated for AIDS under Reagan. There was only a left-wing agenda to portray President Reagan as a war hawk who created the AIDS epidemic single-handedly.

If a filmmaker's agenda is to slant history, let him be intelligent and honest enough to create a fictional satire. To portray these lies as history is not only dishonest, but morally reprehensible.

Whale Rider (2002)

Great film!

[1 December 2003]

Whale Rider is another film that I saw while I was working and I was impressed. It is an indie film about a young Maori girl (a New Zealand tribe) that fights to fulfill a destiny her grandfather refuses to recognize. It is a male-dominated culture and he refuses to allow her to take part in the tribal rituals. The setup is classic storytelling and the story itself is told in the legend tradition. The acting is great on all fronts You WILL cry along with Keisha Castle-Hughes as Paikea. Rawiri Parate did a great job as her stubborn grandfather, the tribal chieftain. It is an uplifting film.

RATING 9 out of 10