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Reviews
The Avengers (2012)
A very entertaining comic book movie
There was a lot of hype and build up leading up to this movie for the past few years, and it has finally come and I will say it has lived up to its hype.
This movie deals with Thor's brother Loki trying to take over the earth by harnessing the Tesseract, an energy source with immense power. Nick Fury then assembles Iron Man, Bruce Banner, Captain America, Thor, Black Widow, and Hawkeye to stop him.
The movie starts out a little slow, and the plot is very simple, bad guy wants to take over the world and will do nothing to stop until he does. It's clichéd but still pays off because of the amount of action. The violence itself is cartoon like, so it is safe for all ages.One other issue I had was the Hulk only has two appearances in this movie, but in each he is the best hero to watch and definitely makes this movie awesome. Mark Ruffalo also has given the best performance as Bruce Banner yet seen in movies, he has far surpasses Eric Bana and Edward Norton.
Joss Whedon understood this movie is about giving audiences what they want to see with lots of Marvel superhero's in one movie, thrilling action sequences, humor and pure entertainment.
This isn't a perfect movie but it is still a lot of fun to watch and even if your not a comic book fan you will still like this film, definitely give this a watch.
Sicko (2007)
Michael Moore's best film
I will say this movie is what has made me advocate for a universal healthcare system in this country because Moore brings undeniable facts and statistics and personal testimony of how our current privatized system is a failure.
He starts out with a story of a man who cut two of his fingers off accidentally and was forced to pay $12,000 to have one finger reattached because he didn't have health insurance. But Moore states the film isn't about him or the other 50 million plus Americans who don't have health insurance, but to all the others who do.
Moore brings up several different stories of people who came down with illnesses or serious injuries and were rejected by their healthcare companies for multiple different reasons, such as having a pre-existing condition or the companies simply not wanting to shovel out the money to cover the medical expenses, and as a result were refused treatment or became bankrupt.
He travels to countries that have universal healthcare and those countries do not reject anyone for any reason, and their medical professionals make more money than American doctors.
He really does a good job of showing how our healthcare system is designed to make profit and not actually help people. Nearly seventy percent of bankruptcies in this country are a result of medical expenses. These things are frightening, and this documentary does a very good job of exposing the greed of the insurance companies. Say what you want about Michael Moore but all middle and lower class people owe it to themselves to see this film.
Fight Club (1999)
One of the most engrossing movie's I've ever seen
Fight club is a very baffling film that may change you're perceived outlooks on life and society. Brad Pitt and Edward Norton give in my opinion the best performances of their careers, and it's David Fincher's best film to date.
The film deals with an unnamed narrator who works for a crooked insurance agency and the dullness begins to eat away at him until he develops insomnia. later on he meets up with a man named Tyler Durden, one of the best movie characters ever. They begin to cause all kinds of chaos to vent their frustrations on society.
The writing is very captivating and crisp, and as the movie progresses I completely lost track of time and couldn't get up for anything until the movie was over and literally left me speechless.
Some viewers may be confused about the message and the ideas presented will anger some, but it's still incredibly good and the most underrated movie ever.
In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2007)
Uwe Boll turns out yet another insultingly bad rip off
This was the fifth movie of Boll's that I tried to watch but again switched off to another channel, to be clear I didn't waste any money renting or buying this waste of a DVD case, I tried to watch it on TV but it was so awful I tuned away less than an hour in, so now you know Uwe Boll's movies are so bad I've never been able to sit through any of them.
This whole movie is just a blatant rip off of the Lord of the Rings, even modeling some of the creatures and weapons off Peter Jackson's trilogy. It's insulting even to compare this heap to such a great series, but now you know there is nothing original about this crap fest.
Jason Statham was probably the most wooden performer in the film as he tried to pull of some strange farmland accent but at times let his English accent slip out, and his character seems extremely stupid because he never puts on any armor and just attacks enemies with his normal farm clothes.
This movie just proves that Uwe Boll has not any creativity or originality and doesn't have the slightest clue of how to direct a film. Don't say I didn't warn you if you decide to waste two hours of your life on this insult to cinema.
Disaster Movie (2008)
Excruciatingly unfunny
There have been several different movies that I've seen in my life that were so painfully awful I was sure there would be no other to be worse, I have sat through movies like Alone in the Dark, Battlefield earth, North, and this piece of shi* trying to pass itself off as a comedy is unquestionably the absolute worst thing I've ever seen.
Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer are the most talentless hacks ever to pick up a video camera or use a keyboard. My head felt like it was going to explode after I finished watching because it enraged me so much.
Here is a small list of things this movie tries to parody, and somebody needs to explain to me what any of them have to do with the disaster genre.
Juno, American Gladiators, Mylie Cyrus, Flavor Flav, Amy Winehouse, Jessica Simpson, and lots others that I feel should have sued the hell out of these assholes for including them in this vomitorium of a film.
This plot makes absolutely NO SENSE AT ALL! It consists entirely of jokes so awful that it'll make you sick having to hear them. At one point they accuse Juno of having bad writing, the hypocrisy and Irony was big enough to see from space.
I don't want to continue thinking too much about the horrible experience I had viewing this wretch, so I will end by saying this is no doubt the worst movie ever made in history and If you laugh at ANYTHING in this heap you are an idiot and a waste of life, plain and simple.
Insidious (2010)
An above average horror thriller
I watched this movie on Netflix not too long ago, and I want to say I do like horror movies but most movies supposedly pertaining to that genre in the last ten years have sucked, so when I heard about the hype I thought it would be very enjoyable. The movie is made by the guy who created the Saw series, James Wan, and I liked the first one but the rest were dumb to me. I was eager to view this, and I wasn't disappointed but I feel the hype was undeserved with some calling this a horror masterpiece and all.
The movie starts with a family moving into a house and the young son of the family falls victim to demonic forces and lays in a coma as a result that nobody can explain. Strange things start happening and eventually the parents call in paranormal investigators who explain to them the son is in a dimension called "the further" which his son is lost in and only the father can rescue him as he had experiences as a child.
This movie I felt would have horror clichés, and I feel it was wearing movies like Poltergeist and The Exorcist on its sleeves.
But the movie does have a few good genuine scares, and it does manage to build suspense, but I felt the demonic figure in this movie looked a little fake, and the last forty minutes of the movie was predictable and not as good as the opening half.
But by all means it's an above average horror movie and audiences will get what they're expecting.
Signs (2002)
It isn't terrible, but it's still illogical.
I am going to say I don't hate this movie but to me it is rather bad and the plot has some huge holes in it that some people need to consider before praising this movie.
The whole movie deals with aliens that have touched down and are terrorizing Mel Gibson and his family, by the way Mel Gibson in this movie is a lapsed priest after his wife died in a car accident.
The idea sounds interesting, but there are huge plot holes in this movie:
1. Water is lethal to the aliens which will kill them by contact, yet the aliens came to a planet covered by 75 percent of water, precipitation is constant and dew settles on corn at night, so the aliens running through the field should have been killed instantly.
2. When the aliens finally break into the home the family fleas into the basement, and the aliens that are capable of inter-space travel and cloaking their space ships cannot get through a wooden door.
3. After the family holds them off, the next day Joaquin Phoenix opens the door and goes upstairs without taking the ax or any other weapon with him, sounds extremely ignorant to me.
This whole scenario is ridiculous but on a positive note the movie does have some pretty good scares and an effective soundtrack, and the acting wasn't bad either.
But those things are not enough to save this film for me, but those reading this if you can stand giant plot holes then by all means see this film, but all others it's better to avoid it, watch M Night's previous two films instead.
Alone in the Dark (2005)
Only primitive morons would enjoy anything about this wretch
I will start out by saying I have never sat all the way through ANY of Uwe Boll's movies, and I had to summon all the mental strength I could muster to sit through this pile of coagulated vomit. It is supposedly based on the cult classic video game from the early 90's, and I have never played it but I've read the plot and descriptions of it and it has nothing at all to do with this train wreck.
I watched this on the SciFi channel, and it is one of the reasons I don't watch that network anymore. This movie starts out with Christian Slater narrating an event from his childhood in an orphanage and fails to tell what exactly happened. Then he starts falling victim to stalkers and attacks without any explanation of why it's happening.
He meets up with a scientist played by Tara Reid, who run from a monster in a museum, and some top government agents storm in and chase it off. The rest of the movie relies on poorly edited shootouts and monster chases, and not a single moment of them is realistic and entertaining.
The ending was probably the worst, Slater and Reid escape a cave and end up outside the orphanage even though it was dark before and then suddenly daylight. Then they find the city deserted but without any carnage or blood splatter to be found anywhere.
There are moments in this wretch that normally I would say have to be seen to be believed but instead I'll describe them here, and I am not making any of these things up:
1. In the beginning Christian Slater fights some guy chasing him for a stone and while laying on his back manages to jump off the floor and do a complete back flip kick in the air, even though his foot was at least two feet away from the guy's face yet he still reacts like it hit him.
2. During the shootout at Slater's house one of the bullets goes straight over a lady's head but she still falls over like it hit her.
3. In the cave system a female soldier is supposedly killed, but at the end of the scene you can see her lift her head up.
4. The acting from every cast member is laughably bad, especially from Stephen Dorff who tries to pull of a bad ass persona and actually tries to take the plot seriously.
In conclusion this movie is so badly written, directed and acted that it is actually painful to watch and the plot is often confusing and boring at times.
One out of ten stars can't even describe how bad this film is, stay as far away from this and all of Boll's movies as possible, life is too short to waste it on his piles of excrement.
There Will Be Blood (2007)
I loved this movie, but I can see why some people wouldn't.
I watched this movie on AMC a few months ago because of the hype surrounding this movie. It was released the same year as No Country for Old Men and I heard a lot of people say this should have won best picture that year and is one of the best movies of the century so far. I had no idea what this movie was about aside from drilling for oil, so I didn't know what to expect.
The movie starts out with no dialog for over fourteen minutes and focuses on Daniel Plainview mining gold and then oil but when they strike oil a young father is killed in an accident and Plainview takes in his infant son.
The movie then flashes forward to a now moderately wealthy Plainview being told of oil in a small desert California area and he sets out to buy the land.
He then meets a young preacher boy who distrusts Plainview and wants money from him to start his own church, and the two form a lifelong dislike for one another.
As the oil fields begin to prosper Plainview begins to get more greedy and miserable and ends up pushing away everyone close to him
You'll have to watch the film yourself to see what else happens but I must say this film has some of the best acting I have ever seen in a movie, Daniel Day Lewis and Paul Dano completely blew me away and the movie is hard to look away from.
That being said however you do have to have patience while watching this movie and those who don't like talkative dramas probably won't like this movie, but I loved it and now consider it one of my favorite films and I do think it should have won best picture over No Country for Old Men.
Apocalypto (2006)
Despite some inaccuracies it's very entertaining and beautifully made
With all the recent controversies over Mel Gibson, this movie did not get wide release which I feel was a mistake because I feel any movie-goer would enjoy this movie as it has stunning costume design and brilliant action sequences.
It begins with a peaceful Mayan tribe that is hunting boar when they encounter a group of frightened and wounded tribes people who pass through yet the young man of the village cannot stop thinking about it and senses trouble, and then a Mayan city soldier group storm the village and kill or take them prisoner. The rest of the movie is about a young man who escapes being sacrificed and has to eliminate the soldiers hunting him.
This movie is packed with gorgeous cinematography and the acting is superb, but the scene with the solar eclipse was inaccurate and I don't think someone could run at full speed through a jungle all night without resting, but this is still a very intense and breathtaking experience.
The Hurt Locker (2008)
A high tension war thriller, very worthwhile viewing
I've just finished watching this movie and I will say it's one of the most thrilling films I've seen in a while. I also want to say I have a cousin serving in Afghanistan so I do know what it's like to have a family member serving overseas.
This movie starts out in the beginning of the Iraqi invasion in 2004 and a bomb squad unit loses one of its members, and it's a very intense and detailed scene. The squad then gets a new leader Sgt. First Class James, who is rugged and somewhat careless of his own safety and doesn't always listen to his teammates, which leads to tensions between the three of them.
The movie consists of the three defusing bombs planted in populated areas and each scene is very intense and you get nervous watching the movie and it makes you feel as though you're right there in the field.
I think this movie was very well deserved to win best picture and war movie fans will definitely enjoy this film.
Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed (2008)
Ben Stein is now on my most despised persons list
I will start out by saying that I've researched both evolution and this idiotic myth called creationism, and Ben Stein tries to make a propaganda filled Michael Moore wannabe styled documentary. There are several insults to both anyone with knowledge of history and the movie going public in general. I will list the most insulting one: Ben Stein has the audacity to say Adolf Hitler was inspired by Darwinism to create a master race in Germany and these ideas led him to cause the holocaust. Yet Mr. Stein doesn't seem to mention that Hitler's ideas of a master race and Darwin's idea of survival of the fittest are completely different things, just vaguely alludes to them.
And he also doesn't mention that Hitler said in most of speeches that God was the one who inspired him to eliminate the Jews as he saw them inferior.
This whole part of the film is trying to say Hitler was an atheist that rejected the word of God, maybe if Mr. Stein had done factual research on Hitler and the holocaust he could have seen Hitler was NOT an atheist.
There is really no scientific reality to this film and any attempt to validate creationism is done extremely flimsily and embarrassingly.
This film has not shown me that God has designed all living things but has instead strengthened my belief in real science and evolution, which I will give Mr. Stein credit for.
College students could have presented a better documentary with more elaborate arguments, don't waste your time with this insulting piece of sh**, I suggest Bill Maher's film Religulous instead
Jurassic Park (1993)
One of my favorite movies based off one of my favorite books
I wanna start off by saying I've seen this movie well over a hundred times now and the visuals still amaze me every time. I read Michael Crichton's book about five years ago and it has had the same effect on me as the movie has.
People have often complained the movie has no character development and relies on the amazing visuals but I say that aside from the visuals there are some very intense moments of terror and awe that most science fiction movies today lack.
And I agree that the character development from the book didn't translate to the film but I will point out that Michael Crichton himself took part in writing the screenplay and supervised it and he himself loved the film so you can't really say it's insulting to the novel.
But I will encourage people to read the book before they watch the film or if you've already seen the movie, read the book because it is more in depth and very exciting to read.
Both the movie and book are very highly recommended.
Sin City (2005)
Cinematic entertainment at its best.
I first watched this movie on Spike a couple years ago and I was eager to watch because I remember there being a lot of hype put into it when it was released. I have never read the graphic novels it's based off of or any of Frank Miller's works but I still enjoyed this film more than any other film in the last decade.
There are three stories in this film and each have brilliant acting performances and thrilling and sometimes shocking imagery. I personally liked the hard goodbye the most. Mickey Roarke completely threw himself into the role and is one of the most bad ass characters I've ever seen in a movie.
The movies' visuals are amazing and iconic, and I feel they marketed an Oscar nomination. The action scenes are intense and violent.
This is without a doubt Robert Rodriguez's best film and it's guaranteed not to bore anyone.
Schindler's List (1993)
A pure utter masterpiece!
Before I watched this movie I had heard a lot of great things about this movie, that it's Spielberg's best and one of the greatest movies ever made. And I have to say when I finally watched it, this was the only movie I knew immediately after that it was a pure masterpiece of film making. I knew this was a movie about the Holocaust, but I didn't know who Oscar Schindler was, so I had to do some research and saw he saved over a thousand Jews from Auschwitz. The movie started out a little slow, but It focused on different characters to build up depth and development. About an hour in I was so captivated by the realism and accuracy I couldn't look away even though it is very graphic and violent. The scenes in the prison camp were spot on, and each actor in this movie gave a flawless performance. Liam Neeson was perfect in the role as Schindler, and Ben Kingsley and Ralph Fiennes were great as well. I'll end by saying this movie will open your eyes to the horrors of what happened in the Holocaust, but it will also give you a sense of hope.
Battlefield Earth (2000)
I know it's been said countless times already, but this is horrible beyond description.
I watched this at my father's house when I was about eleven years old, and even at that age I couldn't believe how horrible it was. This crap was played on the SciFi channel at the time, and strangely I don't think they've ever put it on there again. My dad actually changed the channel halfway through because we couldn't stomach watching any more of it.
I watched it all the way through the next day and immediately regretted it. I'll start with some of the many plot holes, and trust me there are a LOT of them.
- The aliens supposedly defeated the powerful human military's of the world 1000 years ago, yet a bunch of cave men looking people were able to overpower them with ease, yeah effing right.
-The humans are able to use electronics at one point, despite the fact that 1000 years have passed and they still work with no problem.
-The movie takes place in Denver, yet after 1000 years one of the cavemen has a British accent.
There are too many more to list, so I'll end by saying that John Travolta can hope and beg people to see this travesty all he wants, he's only digging a deeper grave of denial.
Carnosaur 2 (1995)
If it had a larger budget, it could have been good...
I'm not sure why I bothered to watch this movie after seeing the first one, but I thought it would be better given a few years to better the visuals, but i was WAY wrong. The dinosaurs were the same crappy, rubber puppets used in the first film, although they did seem a little more gruesome.
The plot seemed okay but what would dinosaurs be doing in a facility in the middle of the desert, with no explanation of who put them there or why? Most of the actors I'd never heard of except Fred Savage, and he was the only actor who even seemed to try.
I have to admit that if this film had a large budget, the visuals could have been better and the movie might have been better, but this ultimately was a stupid and pointless sequel.
And one other thing, DO NOT believe the reviews on the front cover, I don't know how much the produces paid them to say this film was everything Jurassic Park should have been, but that was probably where most of the budget went to.
The Millionaire Matchmaker (2008)
How was this show produced?
I've read a lot of reviews claiming this idiot matchmaker likes to single out rich men and set them up with gold diggers. I watched one episode and was disgusted and appalled by this moron's attitude. She blatantly calls certain men "Unfu**able" to their faces if she finds them unattractive.
And she only matches rich people, as if money is the most important thing in a relationship. I've never liked BRAVO shows, and this pathetic embarrassment only strengthens my dislike for the network.
I think this show is an offense to all middle or lower-class people with jobs because this travesty suggests rich people are the best and everyone else is low-down scum.
Panic Room (2002)
Not Fincher's best, but still enjoyable.
I've seen this movie quite a few times and It has a lot of good thrills and even a couple scares, but this film lacks realism.
The story is about a divorced mother and her teenage daughter buying a new home that has a panic room to protect them in case of a burglary. But then three robbers DO break into the house and they lock themselves in. The three criminals are relentless and determined because they think there is a lot of money stored away in the panic room.
I won't give the rest away if case you haven't seen it, but I will tell you that this film has a lot of violence, like most of Fincher's films.
The acting wasn't bad, but it wasn't flawless either, and the script probably could've been better. But it's a good thriller and it's good to watch and enjoy.
A Sound of Thunder (2005)
One of the worst movies in film history.
I saw this movie in my 9th grade English class after we read the short story, and I didn't know how it would turn out. Ten minutes into the movie I knew that this would be an hour and a half I would never get back. Fortunately I wasn't forced to take notes on it or anything because I would've wrote down every bad thing about it, and there was a LOT of bad things about it.
First of all, if stepping on a butterfly changed the future, then why would they add a volcano about to explode that would kill it anyway? This movie made absolutely no sense and was an absolute insult to the original short story.
I also can see by the other comments that this cost $80 million dollars to make, and it mystifies me as to why the studio continued to poor money into this epic failure.
Raptor (2001)
Who thought this would be a good idea?
I saw this movie on the SciFi channel a few years ago, and I thought it was strange that they didn't even show previews of it all week leading up to it. Now I know why they didn't bother advertising it, because it was so horrible that it made their original movies look good. I didn't know that this movie would tie in with the Carnosaur trilogy(if you can call it that).
It composed of stock footage from the three previous films, and at first I thought it was a complete joke. But I thought it would get better... but I was WAY wrong.
This movie should only be watched to be an example of how to not even attempt to make a film and be completely lazy and un-original with film production.
Justin Bieber: Never Say Never (2011)
Why can't he just go away?
This is the worst excuse of a documentary feature in movie history. If you've seen the Jonas brothers movie, this is FAR worse. I've read bad review after bad review, and I agree with every one of them, if you pay to see this movie, you'll regret it the rest of your life.
I still don't understand the hype behind this so called movie, modern film industries have been selling out embarrassingly fast over the last few years.
I'm 18 guy and I have never liked Bieber and I really cannot understand why critics have actually liked this movie and say it's good for families, DO NOT BELIEVE THEM.
No Country for Old Men (2007)
Great performances and tense scenes, but the ending angered me.
I first saw this movie on DVD about two weeks after it came out, and I didn't really know what to expect because I didn't know what it was about. But the first three quarters of the movie was so intense and thrilling that I thought It was going to be a masterpiece... but then the ending came and left me confused and wondering what message the film was trying put across.
The main character, Moss(Brolin), ended up getting killed by Mexicans off screen, and I couldn't believe that the Coen Brothers would kill off the main character for no reason and leave the audience wondering what happened.
All in all the movie does have a lot of brilliant writing and great acting(especially from Javier Bardem), but the ending really could've been changed.
Saving Private Ryan (1998)
Who would have the nerve to call this film overrated?
Saving Private Ryan is without a doubt the greatest war movie of all time, it beats apocalypse now by a long shot. I've seen this movie dozens of times now and the opening battle scene on Omaha Beach never ceases to amaze me. The realistic war scenes are gory and violent, but that's exactly what our great WW2 hero's had to go through.
The acting was great all the way around by all the actors, especially by Tom Hanks. I've seen other war movies but none have compared to this, so why are there some idiots out there who say it's overrated? They obviously are jealous they don't have the talent to create a masterful war film like this.
And by the way, I still don't understand why the Academy Awards didn't give this best picture in 1999, the voters to me were obviously paid off by the Shakespeare in Love producers.