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1/10
Arguably one of the worst movies ever...
31 October 2003
Okay, let me start off by saying that nothing in this will come as a surprise to anyone who's read the other comments. That being said, MY G-D, THIS MOVIE REEKED! I mean, WOW, I didn't know it was possible to throw as much money as they obviously did at something and still come out worse than ANY Roger Corman movie! Corman was probably pitched this movie at some point but declined due to the poor quality of the script! The only reason this movie got made in the first place is that someone said, 'Hey, Zombies are popular. Video games are popular. What game can we get a hold of that has zombies in it? Resident Evil? No, someone else got there first. Silent Hill? No, too silent. People will never sit in a dark room just to be scared silly. Hey, didn't Sega have a game where people ran around shooting zombies? They're out of the platform biz, we could get that for pennies!'

Basically they tried their best to make a movie that felt like the video game, even down to shooting the combat as if the characters were actually playing the game.

The first and major problem is that the original game was horrid. I mean,

bad-movie-merchandising-made-into-a-worse-game-in-two-weeks-and-then-shippe d-out-and-bought-by-morons-and-their-parents-for-christmas horrid. The graphics were boring. The monsters were boring. The levels were boring. The interface was boring. The CASE was boring. In other words, this was a boring game. And that was the ARCADE version. The home version was even worse! With the home version, you didn't even get the shotgun to hold in your hand while you were being bored silly by this pointless game! But I digress.

The second problem is that they went so far as to actually intercut scenes from actual gameplay during the fight scenes. HUH??? Didn't the editor have enough confidence in the effects to indicate that there was an actual fight going on? Not to mention that EVERY fight was shot from the perspective of a video game, which may explain the tedious use of Matrix-style effects. The problem with this is that the game was a first-person shooter (the player proceeds from the POV of the character). Maybe that's why they put in the game graphics, to let you know that they were alluding to the game... Right, whatever...

Anyway, the only thing that made this ENTIRE experience remotely enjoyable was the fact that everyone in the theatre was making fun of the movie out loud, so my sudden fits of hysterical laughter and general incredulity were taken as commonplace and didn't get me kicked out.

To sum up, DON'T GO SEE THIS MOVIE! Don't even deign to rent it when it comes out on video in a couple of week. Run. Just run.
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Proof why Oxygen shouldn't be allowed to make movies
12 December 2002
Warning: Spoilers
I have to say that this is possibly one of the worst movies ever. And keep in mind I've seen LaserBlast, so I know of which I speak. To call the plot sophomoric is being generous at best.

Now before I continue I would like to warn those unwary enough to see this movie that I cannot review it without revealing some of the plot 'twists'. There are some who refer to these sorts of things as 'spoilers' but it is my contention that this movie is so reprehensible that it is obvious that it was well spoilt before I got to it.

The premise is that WWIII ignites and because all of the women have evidently resigned from the armed forces around the world in unison, the only ones who are left to mind the deadly bacterial weapons are those filthy carriers of the dreaded Y chromosome. Now because ALL men are obviously nothing more than talking chimps they release a viral agent in Afghanistan, which proceeds to kill off 96% of the male population, regardless of age. Now this is the point where the movie becomes REALLY believable. The U.S. Surgeon General starts a crusade to make being male illegal but she is (GASP) assassinated by a (SHOCK) male gunman, thus proving her point to the entire world. The entire world proceeds to outlaw the Y chromosome with no worries because cloning has been perfected so now the human race can proceed into their utopia in peace and tranquility.

This flick gave me such a headache that I barely noticed the 'love story' between the brash young scientist and her new and improved clone male, new and improved in that she removed all those pesky aggression and self preservation genes turning him into the perfect male.

Now I really didn't mind the obvious attempts at irony foisted on us by the director like the brothel where wealthy women pay to spend time with the dangerous males. The only reason I don't mind them is that I refuse to believe I wasted 2 whole hours of my life on something so dumb.

And that's really what gets me. Not the bad acting, but that the premise in and of itself was just so insultingly stupid.

In short, movie bad. Men bad. Ook Ook Ook (Pounds fists on chest making ape noises)
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