iansmom99 Reviews

Wrong Turn 5: Bloodlines (2012 Video)

(Puke)

[1/10 · 22 December 2012]

Declan O'Brien has pretty much destroyed the heart pumping, terrifying Wrong Turn franchise with his absurd sequels, WT3 is an exception though. First thing that's wrong with this is that someone gets slaughtered within in the first five minutes. Where is the build up of suspense or story development? The acting is obscene. The only decent performance is Camilla Arfwedson as 'Sheriff Angela'. However the gore/death moments are the same cheesy nonsense from the rest of O' Brien's sequels. I was honestly laughing through a lot of the movie. There is no horror. No suspense. No memorable performances or moments. Just another lame slasher flick. Stop producing sequels. How in the hell is this supposed to be respectable horror?!??

Mother's Day (I) (2010)

What a Ride!

[8/10 · 15 July 2012]

After a botched bank robbery, the ruthless Koffin brothers escape the police and head for home. Unknowingly do they know that their mother lost the house in a foreclosure. The new homeowners and their guests, gather for an ill-timed birthday party and become the brother's hostages.

This movie without a doubt kept me on the edge of my seat. It starts off giving you a hint of what to expect for the film's outcome. The storyline is top-notch and well-thought of. The characters are given a lot of depth and background that it feels very real. Rebecca De Mornay delivers a magnificent performance as the sadistic 'Mother Koffin'. This is probably one of the most darkest crime films I've ever seen. I don't comprehend why its considered to be a horror, but oh well. Though the ending of the film is a large letdown. Its still a fantastic drama.

Wrong Turn 4: Bloody Beginnings (2011 Video)

This has to be a Joke

[1/10 · 21 November 2011]

Once I heard there was a 4th Wrong Turn I had to check it out. Of course that was an enormous mistake. Even the trailer makes this look like crap. Its a basic plot: A group of friends go snowmobiling during their winter break. They get lost in a blizzard and seek shelter in an abandoned insane asylum. Which of course is inhabited by the three original cannibal mutants. The acting is beyond terrible. The actors don't deliver any decent performances. Even the film making looks cheesy and homemade. The gore/action looks extremely fake. Did they really need to give a failed attempt at how the cannibal hillbillies came to be? I doubt it. There is not one good moment in this movie. They should have stopped with the 3rd one at least.

The Roommate (I) (2011)

Put this in the trash can

[1/10 · 7 February 2011]

I went to see this movie expecting a good thriller, but man was I wrong. The opening comes right out of the blue. Its too fast paced. There is barely any storyline structure or memorable performances. NOT scary. NOT suspenseful. Pathetic and infested with forgettable acting. I can't even recommend this movie for a one night rental. The atmosphere is lifeless. The ending is so last minute thinking. The climax????!!? The climax had no ability to impress me. I regret ever spending my money on this disaster piece. There is not one unique thing this movie has to offer. I'll be surprised if anybody mentions this film's name in the future.

Wrong Turn 2: Dead End (2007 Video)

Disgustingly mediocre

[4/10 · 13 September 2010]

First of all I LOVE the Wrong Turn trilogy. The original was a very decent slasher movie. However Wrong Turn 2 goes waaaaaaayyyyyyyy over the top. The gore and blood effects are so ridiculously stupid. Even worse the movie takes place during the daytime. You can't make a horror movie scary without it taking place at night. I know its been done before, but Wrong Turn 2 doing that. It does NOT work. The thing I hated the most was there were moments where the mutants engaged in "sexual activity". That was extremely gross and sick. I wish those parts were deleted. Now don't get me wrong this movie was fun to watch. The acting is great and and there were a few surprises. The only cool thing about Wrong Turn 2 is watching Henry Rollins as retired marine Dale Murphy kicking mutant ass.

Bad Boys II (2003)

Not a Total Loss

[7/10 · 8 July 2010]

Bad Boys 2 is NOT as great as the first one. The plot is very weak and the movie is over two hours long. Anyway Will Smith and Martin Lawrence once again deliver excellent performances. The special effects are incredible and hardcore. The car chases are especially fast paced and well directed. The only two problems I have with Bad Boys 2 is the opening. I couldn't understand who or what was going on. Also the slow motion sequence with the gun being fired is so lame. That ruined the movie for me. Even though Bad Boys 2 is not as superior as the first one, it does deliver the laughs, hardcore action, and great performances.

Bad Boys (1995)

Off Da The Hook

[8/10 · 10 May 2010]

Bad Boys is probably one of my all time favorite gangster movies. Will Smith and Martin Lawerence were perfect together. They definitely made this movie worth watching. Officer Marcus Bennet (Martin Lawerence) and Detective Mike Lowry (Will Smith) are ordered to protect a murder witness, while investigating a case of stolen heroine. This movie is well acted, decent screenplay, and very funny. The humor was just as superb as the action. However there are a couple of things I disliked. I didn't think the shootouts and fight scenes were directed that well. Those parts aren't set up as well. Anyway I love this movie. I was cheering and laughing the whole time.

A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

Disgrace

[2/10 · 4 May 2010]

A Nightmare on Elm Street is a classic and I respect that, but I was very disappointed. This movie is plain boring and dull. The reason why this is unbearable to watch is because of the acting. Seriously the acting is HORRIBLE. Probably the poorest acting I've ever seen. There is not one decent performance. It seemed like the producers picked random bums off the street to play in the movie. The dialoge is just as poor. Also I was surprised that Johnny Depp played one of the teenagers. I feel sorry that he had to be in this crap fest. Still the plot is okay and the special effects were average. The only thing I enjoyed is Freddy Krueger terrorizing the teenager's lives. Anyway the 2010 remake is the version to see. Its scarier, well acted, great screenplay, and higher quality. The original is terrible.

1408 (2007)

What a shame, Could've been better

[5/10 · 22 April 2010]

Stephen King is a horror/writing legend. I read The Shining, Cujo, Carrie, and Needful Things. Anway enough about what I read, lets review this movie. 1408 is about a man named Mike Enlsin (John Cusack) who debunks the paranormal activities in hotels. He checks into the Dolphin Hotel in New York and realizes that room 1408 is haunted. He ignores the warning of the hotel manager Gerald Olin (Samuel Jackson) and stays in the room confronting terrifying chaos with no escape. Even though I disliked this movie, it started off pretty well with good character development. John Cusack delivered a superb performance as did Samuel Jackson. However I thought there were some parts that were very confusing and it was more depressing than scary. At least thats the way I saw it. Also the appearance of the ghosts were digital hologram effects, which looked downright pathetic. So 1408 is an intense movie, but then it goes ridiculously over the top.

Megalodon (2002 Video)

Dull, but interesting

[6/10 · 11 April 2010]

I've seen many reviews stating this movie is boring, plain, or horrible. I beg to differ. Even though this movie isn't as exciting or intense as Deep Blue Blue (1999), I actually thought it had a lot of values to offer. The storyline was decent, yet a little slow. People were saying the CGI effects were crap. Are you kidding, the CGI sea animals, ocean, and oil rig were very impressive to me. The jellyfish sting that "Elliot" had on his stomach and back looked so real. The whole oil production idea in the movie was actually a good touch. The acting was pretty good, the only performance I thought was bad was Leighanne Littrell as "Christen Giddings". Besides the slow moving plot, I thought this is an incredibly interesting film. Its more Sci-Fi than horror which doesn't bother me.

Bang Bang You're Dead (2002)

A Classic fresh from the movie oven

[9/10 · 1 March 2010]

Bang Bang Your Dead is a move based on high school reality. Here is the storyline: Trevor Adams is a troubled student who previously threatened to blow up his old high school because of bullying. When he moves to a new high school and tries to fit in. More bullying and teasing starts to set him off. He struggles to break free. I don't want to give too much away. First of all I LOVED this movie a lot. Its very reflective and inspiring. It had excellent acting and a well written screenplay. Guy Ferland did an outstanding job directing this. Basically this movie is showing that bullying can leave a student in a world of depression, hopelessness, and madness. They often think about suicide or wanting to kill the bullies. I used to feel the same way. There were times I wanted to end the people who called me a "faggot" and "queer". The dialogue also delivers words of wisdom that were powerful and unforgettable. I recommend this movie for all schools across the United States.

Wrong Turn 3: Left for Dead (2009 Video)

Hard to Say

[5/10 · 14 February 2010]

This third sequel of the Wrong Turn Series does have a lot of flaws. A group of convicts and a police officer are trapped in the backwoods of West Virgina hunted by a family of cannibalistic hillbillies. First I have seen a lot reviews saying this sequel sucks. I somewhat disagree because I actually enjoyed this movie. I thought it was better than the second and I'm not lying. Most of the deaths were low budget CGI effects, but I thought they worked okay. The constant profanity did tick me off a bit. The forest setting looked believable. The acting however is a huge concern. The only three actors who gave a good performance were Tamer Hassan as "Chavez", Tom Fredric as "Nate", and Gil Kolirin as "Floyd". The rest couldn't act for sh*t. Nonetheless I did enjoy this movie. It deserves a chance to be viewed.

Flightplan (2005)

Amazing piece of work

[10/10 · 7 February 2010]

The first time I saw this movie with a friend, I was very entertained. A mother and daughter are flying home from Germany to America. At 30,000 feet, the child disappears and nobody claims she was ever on board. This movie is excellent film making. Jodie Foster is a great actress and she did an outstanding job. I'm not a fan of Mystery, but this movie gets my respect. Its has very good acting, great plot, and superb screenplay. I was at the edge of my seat eager to see what would happen next for the whole time . The best thing about this movie is the suspense. It has pure, clean suspense from start to finish. I can't believe this movie wasn't nominated for the 2005 Oscars. Its a fantastic Mystery/Thriller. Go see it, you won't be disappointed.

12 Rounds (2009)

What a disaster

[2/10 · 8 January 2010]

John Cena is one of my favorite WWE wrestlers and rappers. He was great in The Marine, but this movie sucked. Renny Harlin is like the su director of all time. He directed Deep Blue Sea and Die Hard 2. I can't believe he directed this stinking eyesore. The plot was unexciting and pathetic. The acting was mediocre and Danny Fisher's wife wasn't that hot. The biggest complaint I have is the camera work. Seriously I could've sworn a three year old kid was holding the camera especially in the opening sequence. There were hardly any fist fights,shootouts,explosions, or car chases in this movie. Its not exciting, just plain terrible. Don't buy or even rent this crap fest. The Marine is a million times better.

Cruel Jaws (1995 Video)

Pile of Donkey crap

[30 July 2009]

This is the worst shark movie ever produced and no one can deny it. Every shark appearance is stolen footage from Jaws, Jaws 2, Jaws 3, and The Last Shark. Good thing they didn't steal footage from Jaws 4: The Revenge or this film would've sucked even more. Also it is so low budget, the DVD didn't even have a main menu for god sakes. Nothing against Bruno Mattei, but he claims this movie to be Jaws 5. It's not Jaws 5, I repeat it's not Jaws 5. Unbelievably the acting was actually; not bad. The most pointless thing in the movie is, its in Englsih, but it has damn Japanese subtitles. This movie is BORING, BORING, don't even bother renting it because you won't find it any video stores.

The Strangers (2008)

Sucked

[2/10 · 28 April 2009]

I don't know where to start. A young couple Jimmy and Kristen are spending time in a vacation house after a wedding recession,at night three masked assailants show up and try to kill them. Is there a reason why the masked freaks are trying to kill the couple? The part where the woman asks James "Is Tamara home". He tells her no one by the name lives here, then the woman leaves. Throughout the whole movie I'm like "Who the f*ck is Tamara". We never find out. The thing I hated most about the movie is that the masked strangers outsmarted the two. The two main characters are unlikable and dumb. The whole plot was unbelievably stupid. The scene where James and Kristen are hiding in the closet, a friend walks into the house, James mistakes him for one of the strangers and blasts him in the head with a shotgun. I laughed at that part. The only plus I will give this movie is the chilling opening scene with the 911 call. The ending was surprising, but pointless. I can't believe people thought this movie is great.

Smokey and the Bandit Part 3 (1983)

Not bad, but not good

[5/10 · 27 April 2009]

Here's my opinion. Jackie Gleason is back as Sheriff Buford T Justice and Jerry Reed, Cletus a.k.a the snowman from the previous two films. The storyline is dumb. The Enos boys bet Buford 250,000 dollars to bring a plastic fish from Miami,Florida to their ranch in Austin, Texas in a certain amount of time. Huh, okay here is the big pointless thing in the movie. The Enos boys give the sheriff the challenge for the money. Why couldn't they give the challenge to Cletus who is the bandit's replacement? Anyway the storyline is completely stupid. The chase scenes should of been shot better. The things I loved were the soundtrack, Colleen Camp as "Dusty" was more attractive than Sally Field's character, and they had a cameo of Burt Reynolds (The Real Bandit) at the end.

Ghost Ship (2002)

Incredible

[10/10 · 23 April 2009]

I first saw this movie on television and I was terrified. The dance floor scene where everyone was sliced was disgusting. The characters were good. The thing I loved most was the atmosphere of the sunken ship. The whole sight of it was chilling. All the gore was shocking. The snyopis was quite interestking. It was so scary and unexpected when the crew attempted to take the gold and ended having their small boat blown up by ghost power. I was surprised that Ferriman was the real villain in the story. The part where the spirits of the ship flew up to heaven looked so real. The ending confused me though. When Epps was in the ambulance why was ferriman boarding the ship? I thought he died in the explosion before the ship sank. The ending is kind of unnecessary. Overall I recommend this movie to any Horror/Thriller fan.