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md-ulus
Reviews
Samsara (2011)
The images of inevitable rebirth
We're reminded of previous civilizations that have fallen. The remnants of past gods are shown crumpled on the ground in heaps of rubble.
Buddhists meticulously draw pictures with grains of sand then sweep them away, showing that the world will pass on, as it always does, over and over.
We see lots of sad staring faces, people who look beaten, and the only ones who smile in the movie are Buddhist children.
A performance artist creates a clay face over and over again, attempting to create a new identity or self, or perhaps being reborn, and always ending up with the same thing, an ugly, horrid facsimile of a human being which is torn away to create another ugly, horrid facsimile of a human being..
Does it matter what else is shown from our world? Most of it is depressing and sad. We see the bad side of our existence, the good side, the fun loving side, but through it all there is a sense that it's all wrong somehow. That the fun parts are superficial and robotic, and that the bad parts are permanently ingrained in society and only destined to get worse.
The message is simple, we have failed, and now rebirth is inevitable.
The Dark Knight Rises (2012)
Classic ranting bad guy makes classic mistake of ranting to long
Boy, Bane talks a lot. So of course he falls victim to that old cliché in the end, ranting far too much about how his ultimate victory will please him. He also falls victim to that cliché of being able to easily dispose of his only real threat and showing questionable reasoning in not doing so. In this case it's because he wants to torture Batman by making him watch CSPAN on an old TV ( its not even widescreen) but this eventually angers Batman who thinks of throwing a rock at the TV, thereby ending his torture and freeing him to pursue a fitness regiment created by the Russian version of Tony Little.
I can forgive all that of course, but the boredom of listening to Bane rant on and on talking in that silly mechanical voice that feels completely detached from his body is just distracting and ultimately coma inducing. Bane went from a bad ass, to an idiot, to total pussy, and back to an idiot throughout the course of the movie.
Sadly, Bane is probably the most interesting character in the movie. Catwoman was fun but I wouldn't call her interesting. Catwoman also vanishes mysteriously from the plot only to return when it's convenient for the script writers. This seems to happen to pretty much every character, time passes in the form of vanishings, we see one character but not the others and that's because time is passing. It doesn't quite work honestly, it makes the relevance of the characters diminish as the movie goes along until you really don't care for any of them.
The scale and scope was just too much for one movie. You could do a trilogy around this one movie, seriously, and it would be chock full of material. The scope of TDKR is Michael Bay-esque, it's epic on top of epic inside of epic on the most epic slab of epic you've ever seen.... Christopher Nolan has officially had a bit of a stumble.
Prometheus (2012)
Story ideas picked out at random by monkey flinging poop at a wall
Who wrote this movie, Damon Lindelof? You mean the guy who wrote Lost? I was never a fan of Lost, I thought it was one of those illogical shows filled with contrivances to trick those of average and lower intelligence into thinking something interesting was happening...
Which not surprisingly ends up being exactly what was going on in Prometheus. Boy oh boy did Damon Lindelof outdo himself this time, wow!!
I can't even list all the absurd plot devices that come out of nowhere and have no explanation. It would physically harm my brain to try and hold that collection of ideas in my mind long enough to make sense of just how much none of it makes any sense.
It's like being transported into the mind of a chimp in a science experiment being fed liquefied crack through an IV.
What's terrifying here is that someone apparently thought this movie made enough sense to spend many millions on it creating some of the best 3D effects I have ever seen. THAT is freaking scary.
On top of the absurd plot devices, things that would embarrass most comic book writers, the acting is largely atrocious. I don't know who the two bit, bit players they dug up for this movie are, but they were embarrassingly bad at times. Was it their fault, was it the script, was it the directing? I have no idea. The only bright spot is Michael Fassbender, who well and truly nails his role as the android. Fassbender and the effects are the only two saving graces, otherwise this movie would have been a total waste.
Also, that was Guy Pierce as the old man?? I loved Guy Pierce in Memento and I think he's someone who could have brought something more to this movie, but he has a meaningless role in heavy old man makeup.
This is one of those movies that just doesn't know what it wants to be, the writer doesn't have the ability to tell a story and get secondary meanings across, it's all ham handed and an insult to the intelligence of sci-fi fans everywhere. The cinematography, effects, sets were all pretty strong. But there were a few set pieces that looked like something out of an old Star Trek episode. Overall the movie is just inconsistent, nonsensical, not worth the time.
Tropic Thunder (2008)
Some real laughs!
The actors make this movie funny, which is great, they just play it so well. Robert Downey Jr. is tops, there are some scenes here that are laugh out loud funny. Tom Cruise's minor role is also hilarious. Matthew McConoughey really surprised me, I didn't know he had such a knack for comedy, his role really balanced out the movie for me, great stuff. Jack Black was OK, he has some really disturbing scenes that are sort of funny sort of not. Ben Stiller... OK, he does the Ben Stiller thing, it's OK, it's not hilarious so much as goofy and off beat.
It was fun seeing these great actors really going over the top and seeing it work so well, especially Robert Downey Jr., he went way over the top and it was bang on.
Happy Gilmore (1996)
Stupidity as brilliance
IMO, Adam Sandler is not a movie star actor, he is a comedian. These days he deludes himself into being a big shot "actor", fact is this guy can't act for s**t. He has been relegated to starring in run-of-the-mill comedies that no one remembers or cares about after 6 months.
I saw Happy Gilmore when I was 15 or 16 and it was hilarious to my friends and I. After all those years I can still clearly recall every one of my favorite scenes. It's pure ridiculous crap but it was surprising, different, and hilarious to my adolescent male mind.
The plot of this movie is nothingness, a weakly contrived excuse to string together a sequence of events comprising a movie. The script is pure idiocy really, but it is an absurdly satirical idiocy, and absurdity can be really hilarious if it's done right.
Really, it's like a stand up comedy routine presented as a narrative, it's all about Adam Sandler getting laughs as a true comedian, not a wannabe actor.
Young Adult (2011)
Decent, a few laughs
I saw this as a coming of age story, somewhat belated in this instance, with the twist that in the end the main character doesn't find that elusive moment of redemption. Instead, she embraces the flawed person that she is and heads off into the world to fight the good fight, writing novels for young adults based non to subtly on her own deranged illusions of grandeur.
There is a commentary here. I think we're supposed to ask if a certain kind of woman should feel that they need to follow the traditional path for a woman as a mother & homemaker. And the commentary is that no, certain women should not follow the traditional path.
I can't really get into the struggle that the commentary presents, but I did enjoy this movie. It's quietly entertaining, but it has issues. There are a few threads in the narrative that seem cut short, things left unexplained. I watched it and felt that the tone was inconsistent because of this. It felt a little abstract at times, a little to surreal or weird, with those moments sort of left out there unexplained. The movie ends on a surreal moment in fact, that leaves quite a lot unexplained. I could stretch my imagination and come up with a fairly convincing reason for this as being her self centered attitude and extreme focus on the moment as it pertains to herself, but, its a bit of a stretch to draw conclusions from what isn't presented on film.
The Social Network (2010)
Fun for about 2 minutes, just like Facebook
Here we have Jesse Eisenberg whose rendering of genius is to talk really fast in hurried, clipped vocalizations. Fine. You know what, it's better than Matt Damon saying, "How do you like them Apples?" So Jesse Eisenberg's acting is annoying. But that alone only warrants going down to a 6 or 7, how have we gone down to a 1? Because, this movie goes beyond being overrated. It's not just overrated, it's something like ordering a $100 dessert at the best restaurant in America and being served an empty dish save for a solitary blue skittle on it... And all this after reading in the NYT that this restaurant had the best desserts in NYC. I think any half-wit could see what is really going on. This pile of junk is being promoted by the mass media for some godforsaken reason that speculating upon would have me labeled a paranoid schizophrenic.
So I won't speculate on why the media fawned over this strangely moronic film as if it somehow foretold the second coming of Christ. What I will say is that this movie is disingenuous crap that is filled with clichés, racial stereotypes, bigotry, and elaborately staged scenes of sheer human idiocy surpassed only by Jackass 3.5.
This movie warranted more than a 1, it's really a reaction to the hype, the hype which is absurd at best, and criminal at worst.
It's actually quite funny, the way all absurdly overblown Hollywood movies are.
The Adjustment Bureau (2011)
Maybe the bureau got to me, but I liked it..
Call me crazy, call me a sucker, call me Ishmael, OK don't call me that, but I like this movie.
Is it some kind of genius? Not quite. Is it thrilling? Not really. Is it shocking? Hardly. Was it predictable at times? Yeah.
OK, so maybe I don't know why I liked this movie. Matt Damon is Matt Damon, you can sort of tell that he's acting. He has a square head by the way, according to my GF.
So Matt falls in love with a "dancer", sheesh, could it get any worse? And yet, somehow, I didn't hate the movie. Not-so-mysterious men walk around with magic hats that take them through magic doorways, a familiar plot device in Hollywood, and yet, I didn't hate this movie.
The movie is either ham-fisted or more subtle than most people realized. OK, they could have played the paranoid angle up a lot more, but IMO that would be a boring cliché'.
What's interesting here is that nothing is really that big of a surprise to the characters, Matt Damon's character and his love interest both seem weirdly OK with everything that is happening. Maybe I'm reading something into it that was unintended, regardless, I see their moderate reaction to everything as representative of our constant awareness of things. You know, the sense that things are wrong or OK, that gut feeling, and when it turns out you're right it's less of a shock. If a bureau were constantly mussing in our lives I think we would develop a sense that maybe things aren't as they should be, or that something outside our control exists.
It's not a brilliant work, but it's not a pile of trash either, it's actually a very skillfully handled movie that unfortunately has left a lot of the movie going public missing the subtlety and not connecting the dots.
8 out of 10 for skillful handling.
Sanctum (2011)
Not up to expectations, but not a bad movie
*CONTAINS SPOILERS* Anything with James Cameron attached you expect a certain level of quality, but for the most part that was missing. What wasn't missing is the camera work, it was pretty cool, there were some neato shots strewn throughout.
I enjoyed the unflinching brutality that the various cast members were dispatched with. It was refreshing to see major characters knocked off with nary a hint of sentimentality until the very end.
The scene where the caver goes face first into the rocks is probably the best in the whole movie, it was tense throughout. For a second I thought he might survive like the others who fell, then he glanced off the rock face with his head. OK, one less person to hear speaking pi$$ poor dialog I thought to myself...
So, yes, the dialog is absurd, and the acting is absurd, but I disagree that acting should be good all the time. See, movies are about people, so why should all people necessarily be good actors? It's probably a concept that is too evolved for today's viewers, and I'm certainly not assuming that this movie was done that way on purpose, it's just something to think about.
Overall the movie plays out a little slow, and the dialog is a big culprit. Forgetting that most of the actors are turning in B-movie performances, the dialog does nothing to fill in the voids of space and time that pass as we watch the movie. It would be hard to act with some of these lines, but they could have hammed it up a bit (deadpan) and it would have worked wonders for pacing.
I was entertained a bit, there were a number of cool scenes but nothing really spectacular. It's a 6.5 but 6.5 rounds to 7 on the IMDb scale... So 7 in my book.
Thor (2011)
Surprisingly good
I admit, I had low expectations, however, those were exceeded, bravo.
Thinking about this movie always left me confused. Here you have a demi-god that carries a big hammer around. It's not exactly the same appeal as a sword or battle axe. As a kid I never really understood Thor.
The art direction was great, the costumes were pretty cool and many scenes were very well executed in terms of visual style. I give the effects a solid ten, overall they were very well done, some of the best I've seen.
There are a few funny moments scattered throughout as well, though it could have used a few more as the story progressed, just to keep my brain going. As things went on the story began to trudge a bit. Branagh managed to introduce some drama.
I give this 9 out of 10 because of how it relates to the genre, a genre with a very low bar IMHO. Even judging it as a pure action movie however I'd give it a solid 8. It's a good flick that is accessible and entertaining even if you haven't a clue why a god carries a hammer around.
Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011)
Falls just short of greatness
Synopsis: A scientist invents a cure for Alzheimer's disease that happens to turn the lab apes into super-geniuses. These super-genius apes then go on a rampage across the Golden Gate bridge.
I have no problem with this basic premise, but if these apes are so smart why did they not stop to pick up some real artillery by raiding a gun shop? An ape with a machine gun going ballistic really appeals to my sense of mindless entertainment.
So instead of guns, the apes go with spears, a suitable replacement for the purposes of our entertainment I suppose. The only problem with this is that an ape would have a difficult time throwing a spear due to their lacking an opposable thumb. Maybe this explains their inaccuracy.
All in all the movie is pretty good as far as summer blockbusters go. The story is half decent, the acting is pretty good, the 3D apes are fantastic, it's all really well done, a pro job from top to bottom.
But does it all add up to greatness?? No, because rather than being a movie that stands completely on it's own it feels like a setup for a sequel.
By the time the end of the movie rolled around it was just starting to deliver on the promise of high action and screaming ape violence.
Hopefully the sequel will bear out the promises this movie made for unrestrained ape carnage.
Battle: Los Angeles (2011)
Paid .50 cents to watch, overcharged by 18 cents, angry now.
The special effects were a huge let down. Somehow they spent 100 million on this? Did they blow all the money on drugs and hookers on set? Was there a big bowl of cocaine off camera for the actors to snort to numb the pain of making such a horrifically bad movie? Half the 3D budget must have been spent on making one scene where the aliens attack a bus while we see the exact same robot played forward and backward about 30 times to try and confuse us into thinking more was going on when in fact NOTHING was going on. Generally you never see a glimpse of an alien or an alien ship that lasts more than 2 seconds, its like here's your 40-80 frames of 3D, oop, made you look...
Forget the acting, the lead actor, some guy forgot his name, poor bastard, why did he do this movie? They surrounded him with incompetents who probably got kicked out of their elementary schools production of "The Pilgrims Pride" and decided they wouldn't let that stand in the way of their acting ambitions.
I can't understand how such a horrendous pile of garbage could even be made into a movie. It's so horrifically bad that by the end I just hoped everyone and everything on screen would die in a giant ball of fire...
A Christmas Carol (2009)
Piece of Trash
This film is bad, a bad excuse for a remake, badly executed, just a bad idea all around.
Poor animation, poor rendering, poor lighting, extremely poor script, they took the 1984 version and tried to liven it up with some corny music and slapstick humor.
It was boring. Jim Carrey was bad. But its probably the "acting" of the CGI characters, stilted, stiff, and emotionless, that just ruins everything. They're sock puppets, fake CGI sock puppets at that. Your average video game cut scene has more life and vitality. I'd rather watch the muppets act out this remake next time, at least the muppets are REAL sock puppets.
Robert Zemeckis is credited for the script, well, the man needs to hire a writer next time. I know it's a remake, but it felt like a remake of this film and ten other films, it was instantaneously identifiable as a boring retread. Like a made for TV version of a movie already done far better.
I turned it off about halfway through, its utterly unbearable for anyone over the age of 10 I would think.
Shutter Island (2010)
Many great parts, but overall, a smidge boring.
This is one of those rare films that only a genius could make. And having said that, I wasn't particularly *entertained* by it. In retrospect I realize there is a lot to it, a lot of implying, a lot of symbolism. Now, I like Scorcese, but I don't love Scorcese. The maestro can direct, no doubt, he can tell stories like none other, and he wields a camera like Davinci, but can he scare us? Not quite, though I don't think he meant to.
This is a movie that just oozes quality, its like a Mercedes, you ride around in a plush and finely crafted interior, but somewhere along the way you lost the feeling of being in control, the passion of driving.
To me the passion is missing in this film. I admire this film for its technical quality, but I was bored. I have two main issues with this film, first, no matter what the artistic intentions were, I disliked the music. It was either an unorthodox use of music in the narrative, or just plain over the top schlock. Second, the storytelling just fails to really engage. I never got caught up in the happenings on screen, in the emotional flow of fear or whatever this was supposed to do to us as we watch. It's broken up by strange dreams and hints and implications that ultimately add up to not really knowing anything, and maybe that was what was supposed to scare us, but I wasn't scared.
When you reach the end of the film, you've been brow beaten into a paranoid state where nothing can be trusted, and then voila' you are shown that everyone was just playing along in a little game. This is both disappointing and interesting to watch, but not frightening. Its more of a relief, all the questions have been answered...
So, in the end, all the questions are answered, that is good to know.
Edge of Darkness (2010)
Intense performances, hints of noir, classic filmaking.
Mel Gibson's performance should garner him a couple major nominations, it was one of his best. Gibson portrayed his character with a complex and angry humanity. A very real need for revenge permeates his role from the beginning to the end, and when he finally finds revenge the rendering of emotion on Gibson's face is sublime, and the directing superb. Overall the directing in this film is very good, it's straightforward, no frills, and a few very noir-ish moments add a touch of melodrama and darkness to the proceedings.
The flaws are mostly in the plot, its just a bit too outlandish, but the attention to detail in Gibson's acting brings it together, he is a true badass of cinema, a legend even.
This could have been a better movie if they had made the plot more believable. That being said it does have a decent story arc, and some great moments in the script.
Overall, it was entertaining.