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gkwildman
Reviews
Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience (2009)
i only made it through 48 minutes.
When i saw this movie i was literally beaten over the head with stupidity. It was as if the Jo Bros. got a bat made out of retardation and hit me right in the face with it. It was like having my balls run over by a steam roller. Not only did the Jo Bros. movie prove that they make terrible music, it also demonstrated how low Disney has fallen. Disney Channel has raped the once glorious franchise and left it for dead in a ditch. This movie for some reason was made in 3D. Not that i have something against a 3D movie (excluding anything Brendan Fraser was in) but they went WAY overboard. I nearly passed out. After nearly 50 minutes of utter nonsense and "comedy", i exited the theater knowing that there was no way to heal the wound this movie made.
Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966)
Traumatizing
this movie was absolutely the worst movie I have ever seen. and i have beheld such horrors as Dragon Wars and Speed Racer The Movie. the movie was excruciatingly painful from the very beginning. my friend said i needed to watch it so i sat at my fathers computer and watched it on Google Video. Third worst mistake of my life. as i observed the opening sequence i began to cringe. after 45 minutes, i began furiously clawing at my eyes. near the random all-out wrestling match between the wives, i was emersed in desperate, pointless hate and rage. i wanted to burn my house to the ground and throw myself into the flames. but i refraned from such activities as i feared hell itself may be Manos on an endless loop. God help us all.