chwillard Reviews

MTV Bash: Carson Daly (2003 TV Special)

MTV Rips Off Comedy Central

[8/10 · 24 July 2003]

*MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS*

Although I detest everything that MTV puts out, I am a sucker for comedy. And while the premise of it is stolen from Comedy Central's Friar Club Roasts, I had to say that it was very entertaining. What started out as a roast for TRL's Carson Daly turned into a "hit Jennifer Love Hewitt below the belt contest." But that was okay with me. I have to admit that I laughed hysterically at Jeffery Ross' opening remarks and Sarah Silverman's jokes the loudest. Maybe next time MTV will "bash" itself for all of it's horrible show ideas.

Airborne (1993)

Very Predictable

[1/10 · 15 January 2003]

This movie is predictable from start to finish. The "surfer" who is out of his element in Cincinnati. Who has trouble at first making friends and fitting in. And then is the big hero at the end overcoming the odds and getting the girl. Seth Green as Wiley and Patrick Thomas as Uncle Louis have memorable scenes. But overall, this movie is been there, done that. This movie begs the question: How can life revolve around hockey? In Cincinnati? Don't remember any professional hockey teams there. Avoid at all costs. 0 stars out of 5 IMDB Scoring 1 out of 10.

Urban Legends: Final Cut (2000)

Seriously, just watch the first 10 minutes and then move on

[1/10 · 14 January 2003]

I am being totally honest. If you have mistakenly rented this film instead of the original, or picked it out the 99 cent bin at Walmart, just watch the first scene before the opening credits and then hit "stop" on the remote and get on with your life. Do not watch any further, repeat do not watch the rest. Trust me you will want to save the 80 minutes to do something constructive.

This movie is crap!!!! There is not a scary scene in it. Awful, just plain awful. Why was this movie made? It has no connection to the original, other than the name. STAY AWAY FROM THIS FILM AT ALL COSTS!!!!!

0 stars out of 5 IMDB Scoring 1 out of 10 (if only the scale could go lower, sigh!)

Urban Legend (1998)

Pretty good...to my amazement

[7/10 · 14 January 2003]

****MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS****

Urban Legend is a pretty good flick considering I was still coming off the high of watching "Scream." While this film gives you situations involving urban legends, it will not go into explaining why they are and how they came to be. But I don't think it will bother you as teens are slaughtered for your amusement.

I really enjoyed this movie because of the dark settings and the way the "legends" were intertwined. The only knock on this film is that all the actors are "easy on the eyes." Don't think the good looking people are murdered in real life, but such is true.

Watch for Robert Englund's small but effective role along with the surprise twist at the end. Definitely makes it worth the time to watch. (p.s. STAY AWAY FROM THE SEQUEL!!!!)

***1/2 stars out of ***** IMDB Scoring 7 out of 10

Friday the 13th (1980)

The Original Slasher Flick!!!

[10/10 · 9 January 2003]

This movie is the single greatest horror movie of all time!!! I can't stress enough how much I love this movie. It is original, thrilling, and down right exciting. While the special effects and gore are pretty tame by today's standards, Tom Savini faced a lot of cuts by the MPAA. But still managed to get a lot through.

While the acting is hammy and overdone....it has to be! That what these movies are known for. You don't go to horror movies to see great acting, character development or plot. You go to see the death sequences, cheesy one-liners, and half naked girls. And that's it. Nothing more, nothing less. This classic hits the nail on the head.

Great effects by Tom Savini, great lungs by Adrienne King, and great music make this the greatest slasher movie ever. Period. To all you Halloween fans: This movie DOES NOT rip-off anything from the first movie. The first Halloween is a stalker movie, not a horror movie. Get it right. Look it up in any reference material or talk to any film maker. Both will tell you the same thing I have.

***** out of ***** Stars IMDB scoring 10 out of 10 stars.

Pretty Woman (1990)

The worse premise of any movie I've seen.

[1/10 · 7 January 2003]

While it's a nice attempt at a love story about people from two different worlds, it fails as a plausible encounter. Who falls in love with a prostitute? From what world are you from that suggests that hookers look like Julia Roberts? I guess the people who enjoy this movie are the same people who believe that they can have long-term relationships with strippers and chippendales. Give me a break. What successful businessman would admit this, have it out in the open for all to see, not want it to remain secret? Enron? This movie is laughable as a love story. Unless you "love" the thought of STD's. 0 stars out of 5 IMDB Scoring 1 out of 10.

Sidekicks (1992)

Where's Kevin Arnold?

[2/10 · 5 January 2003]

The first time I saw this film I thought I was watching an old episode of "The Wonder Years." Danica McKellar plays Jonathon Bradis' love interest in this movie. Combine that with the washed-up talents of Joe Piscopo, Chuck Norris, and Beau Bridges and it makes for an agonizing hour and a half. Even though Chuck Norris is in this film, it ain't no "Delta Force." The fantasy scenes are way too violent for any teenager to be having. It sends the wrong message to younger kids watching it. One reason to suffer through this movie: Richard Moll's small but hilarious one-liners. Stick with "The Wonder Years", at least there Winnie looks attractive. * out of ***** stars. IMDB Scoring: 2 Stars

Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)

A nice try at an original idea....

[1/10 · 5 January 2003]

CONTAINS SPOILERS!!!

I was not at a theatre in person when this movie was released in 1982. But I can tell you that I was personally disappointed in this "third" installment of the Halloween franchise. I am a very loyal movie goer. Sticking with the "Friday" movies all my life, even after the debacle of part 8 and 9. But having a Halloween without Michael Meyers is like having party without beer. You need something to draw people in. Meyers puts people in the seats, despite the horrible acting and character development. Tommy Lee Wallace had a nice original idea for a horror movie, but used the wrong vehicle to get it out. And thanks to AMC last October, I got a chance to revisit this film. Thank god I forgot the annoying Silver Shamrock song which porvays almost 3/4 of this flushable movie. Is it me or does Tom Atkins star in like every early 80's or Carpenter-este film? 0 out of 5 stars IMDB Scoring 1 star

Clash of the Titans (1981)

TBS Programming Staple

[8/10 · 5 January 2003]

I remember seeing this film over and over at a neighbors house when I was 8 years old. I loved it then and I still love it to this day. The film does a pretty good job of representing the way mythology has passed the story down. Although when I see it now, the special effects are way too cheesy. But then I remember, hey it's 1982.

Tons of battle sequences and Laurence Olivier in a film that doesn't need good acting to entertain. Just don't take this film too seriously and you will enjoy it. Seems to be on TBS like every saturday afternoon. ***1/2 stars out of ***** IMDB Scoring 7 stars out of 10