backus1611-1 Reviews

Mapleworth Murders (2020)

A true pile

[1/10 · 11 April 2024]

Of stuff you don't want, unless you garden. The only thing worth watching is the guests, because the leads are horrible. The comedy is childish, and this is truly the least interesting thing you could watch, and I watched it when I needed something and nothing else was on. Had an idea it would be interesting. It wasn't. Noticed they were trying for humor so thought I'd give it a chance and maybe something funny would come along. It didn't. But hey, if you really hated Angela Landsbury then this is your thing, because they obviously really hated her too. I don't adore her, tho she was great, but I'm betting a 5 year old could come up with a better spoof on her than this garbage.

Hellraiser (2022)

Not bad for Candyman II or XII

[4/10 · 6 September 2023]

What if you took a really good horror movie, then got rid of the interesting stuff and tried to make it a Candyman ripoff kind off a thing? You'd get this. Not bad if you have no idea what this movie should be. Just have to agree with several on here, this is just another sequel and not much like the original. I don't actually care if pinhead is male or female, but the change just makes it seem like they did it simply because of politics. It will be great when they make movies/real life decisions not based on genders. The original was a really great movie, this just seems like yet another horror movie like the others. Not much there.

Caligula (1979)

Who knew nudie people could be that boring?

[1/10 · 5 September 2023]

Nope, have no problem seeing nudies of any gender, even the pretend ones. If you watched the recent clown movies, then you'd think there never was an ounce of violence in this movie. The real crime of this movie is........ it is MASSIVELY boring. I applaud you if you can get passed 26 minutes of this pile. It is massively boring. As for those pretending that it's historically accurate.... I really hate to mention that most if not all the information about Caligula comes from his enemies. The biggest problem with 'history' is, the reliance on unreliable characters. And sorry to one who mentioned below but I don't actually care who directed it. You can try to convince me that if someone I don't know directed this, it would be love by me. Reality. Get over the naked stuff, get over the what is now, really mild violence, this is a massively boring movie. The whole end result of this boring pile of probably historical lies is...... they made nudie people and sex incredibly boring. Who knew that could actually happen. We'll never really know what actually happened, but a good guess is, less than 10% of this incredibly boring movie has any basis in truth. The original sources are highly suspect.

A Bay of Blood (1971)

Bava's best, which means ignore the rest.

[5/10 · 11 July 2023]

This is a story that deserves a remake, because this was pretty good, except for pretty much everything. That's an exaggeration. You have to watch this with a 70s mindset and hoping to see the beginnings of Friday the 13th etc type movies ( and has the kill that Friday was scandalous to do, or really simply booblike COPY). You have to want to love this, because if you don't, you'll realize it's a great story that desperately needs a good director. The ending, by the way, is truly pathetic. I won't give it away but, there was very little if absolutely no build up to it. In other words, stupid and looks like it was pasted on to come up with an ending that what make the viewer able to go home. It is a great story by the way, one that deserves a better representation.

Capricorn One (1977)

Probably better than you think

[7/10 · 18 June 2023]

Now this is where my favorite joke comes from, and for DECADES i thought it was Nichole Brown's murderer that did the joke. Thank God I watched it again, and it wasn't that useless lump of poo. He got rid of early. "It's his 1st vacation in years....." It's a hilarious joke. Anyway, this might be a mediocre movie, as many say, yet they don't have 2023 with which to contend (English training, sorry) Couldn't save the cat... anyway. "She's on the roof.." Just go to Law and Order. Would be absolutely great if people watched this and finally came to the realization that who's-ever government actually does not tell the truth, regardless of your whiny political affiliation, THEY DON"T TELL THE TRUTH. Wake up. This is just 1 of the hundreds, thou since Our Dear Leader Bidden is in control we're not going to have that many anti-gov movies because Biden Is Life. As silly as it may have been, X-Files was actually right--- Trust No One.

Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman (1976–1977)

Only good for it's time.

[7/10 · 17 June 2023]

I'm not sure why it gets such great reviews. It's really JUST OK. There are some very funny parts, but there are characters, main characters, who would drive anyone into insanity. Oh, just got why the great reviews. But honestly, it's something that should be seen and accepted as a beginning. It's not great, at times not even good, but it was a first attempt at a soap opera satire. So, as a 1st attempt, it's as subtle as a sledgehammer. It's comparable to the Wright Bros. Airplane--- something that had to be made so that future and much better things could be created. I wish I could have seen the year without the main lead, because that would have gotten rid of the worst part of it. Yes, it's interesting to see the decline of someone, but she was incredibly annoying, ESPECIALLY WHEN SHE YELLS FOR NO REASON. YES, I KNOW THAT WAS THE POINT BUT HOLY MOLEY, is it annoying. Sorry, but just mimicking a soap and pretending it's satire, isn't actually intelligent. It's just a copy. It was a good satire early on, then about 60% or so just became a soap copy. Fun but, not actually worth watching.

Jared from Subway: Catching a Monster (2023)

3rd episode is the only one based in reality.

[1/10 · 25 March 2023]

Sorry Rochelle Herman, you were probably the worst human in life the FBI enlisted to get rid of a sexual predator. You spent years talking to predator Jared and was able to elicit not 1 single word, NOT ONE WORD, that would get him arrested. You did absolutely nothing and now got 2 episodes detailing how you were able to do not 1 thing, while he spent years abusing who knows how many, if any. PS, you'll have to actually investigate to see if anyone actually has accused this horrible human, Jared, of rape, because this crap tells you very little, except how wonderful Herman was and how it hurt her so much. Finally, we get episode 3 where we get the actual crimes he's been convicted, which by the way, had absolutely nothing to do with the self aggrandizing Rochelle from the other, useless episodes. I probably missed it, but then they suddenly mention 14 victims. HUH? Probably need to see the 3rd again, but what? Glad he's in jail, really sorry this completely incompetent 'operative' Herman got 2 useless episodes. Her 'contribution' could have been 10 minutes of the 3rd episode, and some of what Jared said should definitely be heard, but she's completely useless in trying to get anything the FBI could use to prosecute him. She was completely useless....for years!

I Married Joan (1952–1955)

I married a bad word.

[3/10 · 11 March 2023]

That is how Jim Backus, no relation, said the title should have been. (you can google the word he would have used to describe her.) Now, there are some absolutely horrible human beings, and she was definitely horrible, that you can put aside their sub-human behavior because they have some talent. She is not one of them. She was incredibly mediocre. I watched Lucy, which this is a knock-off, 20 plus years ago, once, just once. I am a giant old radio fan, so know Burns and Allen radio etc., and this show just does Lucy etc as a pale comparison. Mediocre. I wanted to love it, my last name is Backus so you get it, but this is very boring. Before you jump, I love to listen to Judy Canova, Jack Benny and other old radio shows, so can take jokes that have been repeated 100 times since the 1940s. This is mediocre. Please do yourself a favor, google Joan Davis and find out how horrible ...... (can only say horrible things about her) Smacked a kid that wanted an autograph.

The Pentaverate (2022)

Mediocre with some really fun bits

[3/10 · 30 September 2022]

There are some great bits-- every intro with Jeremy Irons is perfect, plus numerous scenes that are again, great. But, Myers was in this FAR FAR FAR too much. He should have left it to a few characters, not almost every one. Lord lord.... was phenomenal, not funny, but a really good performance; the lead good and bad guys were also good, every other character he should have left to someone else. Saunders was excellent, as both-knew the face, but so good I had to look up who it was. Was a big fan of Ken Jeong, until his first appearance, UGHHHH Go away and go away FAST. Keep going, because as Irons says, 'If you leave now...." Jeong is not as annoying in the next episodes. Not a prude, and some toilet/sex humor makes me bust out laughing (annoying family members), but Myers doesn't have the touch with that. Somehow, it just makes me roll my head and say "Go back to middle school". It's worse than fun dumb humor, it's just stupid. Other parts, are really well done. He probably needs an editor, then he'd actually be funny.

The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009)

Warned against---WHY?

[3/10 · 15 August 2022]

So, I avoided this from "Most disturbing movies ever" sites etc, and after years, finally watched it. Just a very good suggestion, never put off any films, they NEVER turn out to be what everyone says they are. Yep, the theory is gross, yet the theory is absolute feces- sorry for the joke. This 'theory' may have worked for horses, who don't fully digest what they eat, but for anyone that actually has any scientific knowledge...... It could only come from country that has someone advertise "Come be eaten by me." (IT's a joke grow up). Heck, I'll give the idea a 10, why not, and at least it wasn't crap done with some schmuck and a phone, but the hooooo-haw about it as the grossest thing ever etc, makes for a massively disappointing movie once you see it. Still in the end fun to watch, just not as gross as everyone will say it is. The ending is especially stupid, but I will say the amount of will power the three actors had to not have foul smells must have been tremendous. AN ABSOLUTE WORTH WATCHING JUST TO ALLAY YOUR FEARS ABOUT "BANNED" MOVIES. Here's betting every other movie I haven't watched is equally , well this way, not silly but not at all horribly gross.

Outbreak (1995)

Covid watching

[3/10 · 20 July 2022]

Watched after Covid, or at least at the time Covid turned into a cold +. Watching it with that proviso, show the absolute stupidity of this movie. We might have actually been better off, had any government acted like this movie shows the US acting. But no one did. NOT ONE. China tried to be somewhat like it well after it got out, but too late to make any difference. This is really silly. Everyone in it is great. Love a good conspiracy movie, but when you have the incompetence of reality (not one side, left nor right, did anything right in Covid) it shows the absolute hilarious-ness quality of movies like these. No one is that good. Even the Chinese screw up. The only reality/fear in this movie that is in any way true, is the reality of a pandemic. Depictions of human reaction to that pandemic is complete fantasy land. PS really hate to see one actor after the news of his harassment came out used to really like him. Oh if we only isolated Covid like we did SARS, very few would have died, very few. Instead, we sent them home to infect 1/3rd of the household (scientific study done Jan 2020 oh if we just paid attention)

Halloween Kills (2021)

Hey at least mobs burning down towns is bad

[6/10 · 28 October 2021]

I mean come on, Halloween never was genius. It was great. It scared. You can even like some of the sequels, I mean just like them! But thankfully, after a year of lives only matter riots, and other riots, we get a movie that says mob violence actually doesn't solve anything. That's better than what Our Dear Leader 2021 has to say. As a movie, what the heck is wrong? I like it. The one dimensional character from the 70's, 80's is back and doing what he did back then. It wasn't the gibberish that Halloween 2 the 2nd was, and that was gruesomely watchable. It being Halloween 3 the 2nd it was much better than Halloween 2 the first. Are we really talking characters, because everyone can tell me the complete character profiles from the 1st, which was a great horror film. 'Hey, I like beer, I like getting nude.' characterization from the 1st movie done! Micheal was such a rich character. "Ugh me kill." Done. It was fun. This was fun. It's just a movie. If you are supposed to learn something about life, yourself, etc from a movie, let me suggest you get a life.

Girl on the Third Floor (2019)

Um, this was good?

[1/10 · 14 March 2021]

Don't ever type "good horror movies on netflix" in your favorite search engine because it will no doubt turn up a page saying "The Best 47 horror films on Netflix". This is listed as "... grisly, clever..." and "...recalls great horror films of the '70s and '80s..." and "crunchy" WHAT? and "brutal" Yah, in the same way a Joe Biden (Our Dear Leader) speech is brutal, that is, long, slow, and rather boring.

For the 1st 40 minutes it's "This Old House" R rated version- not as interesting as it sounds. Then something happens which is semi-worth watching. That ends at 42:24. Then, you can skip till the last 12 minutes where some fun stuff, "such fun" (thanks Miranda's mother) begins and that is all you need to see til 4 minutes remaining in the movie. When it seems like someone's giving you an explanation for the movie, STOP! It you want to see a baby that looks like it could star in the US's first horror film Freaks, then watch the very end. If not, turn off and find something more fascinating to watch, something like paint drying.

The lead actor, is a wrestler, is probably great, stay there. He's not bad, but there are 2,637,321 other actors that aren't bad. After seeing, Trieste Kelly Dunn on Banshee, she can do anything, even this. and the last 12 minutes is basically her. As for others, YEP! Boobs are great, so why not see some. BUT, this is so worthwhile watching, I watched 80s Superboy while this was on. That says a lot.

Profit (1996–1997)

Best TV show ever, with one of the best villains ever created.

[10/10 · 23 December 2020]

2nd only to JR, if you love Dallas.

For all those blaming lack of audience etc., a behind the scenes commentary on it was, it was cancelled because TV networks saw too much of themselves in it. No, I don't understand that, but that is what I heard. Profit has to be one of the best villains ever. The end of every episode still in 2020 makes me cheer for it's excellence! Adrian was perfect, and this was probably the best character he's ever done. It's really too bad this never succeeded, all you need to do is look at Dexter to see that there was an audience. Other than this, and probably 2 or 3 other things since the 80's, there has never been a more interesting villain than Profit. You can shove the rest of the crap people are mooning over, it's boring compared to this.

Holmes & Watson (2018)

Rob Bryden is a comedy genius, Will Ferrel's never seen a joke

[3/10 · 4 May 2020]

No, I'm not Rob Bryden, but actually have a wide range of comedy. This movie is horrible and really could do with a comedic actor or at least a writer. Wait, that joke about a women doctor early so much less than a male was absolutely hilarious, unless you've heard it over a thousand times, which you would if you had a wider experience with comedy than just US. The Ghost parody was hilarious, that is unless you saw it 2 decades ago in the vastly superior comedy Naked Gun. Is any more of this execrance worth commenting on? NO. It's a giant plop. If anyone thinks Ferell is at all funny should check out British comedy, and no, I'm not a Brit, I just like comedy-- S. Martin, M. Short etc. etc. Ferrell has no talent. 3 stars because they were at least intelligent to give some money to actually talented comedian, that is not "Holmes" nor "Watson". (By the way Ferrell was funny in Spoils of Babylon (someone must have told him how to be funny then).

Turistas (2006)

A movie highlighting the arrogance of European Conquerors.

[7/10 · 3 May 2020]

So, finally, a horror film about the absolute arrogance of the European conquerors, because that's exactly who the bad-guy doctor was- a European descendant. His "I'm tired of rich Americans buying our organs" speech was hilarious, since his descendants did exactly what he was "sick of" use, abuse and dictate over, the natives. And, that's not to mention what he says about the native "indian" in the final few minutes, (plus what he does with another earlier in it. So, as a movie about the arrogance of Europeans and their dominance decades if not a century before US dominance, this was an enjoyable experience.

But, I doubt that's what they had in mind when they made the movie. I'm guessing it was yet another whiny attempt to whine about America and what they did (which was horrible by the way- United Fruit Company), and if it was, boy did they get it completely wrong by not hiring a Brazilian "indian" to be head bad-guy. But, wow, did the Europeans screw with S. America- so much that even the "natives" had a caste system where the lighter the skin the 'better'.

As a movie, finally, it was fine. I watched the unrated, for extra gore!

Herd (2018)

Here's my sledgehammer, and I'm going to sledgehammer my 'truth' home to you!

[1/10 · 10 November 2019]

If you can't get the point of this drivel, you need to immediately go to the doctor and seek a scan, you might not have a brain. WOW! This short has no idea what "subtle" means. Holy crap is this bad. The acting is fine, she's just great. The problem with this crap is, the dialogue should have been cut by 3/4ths. Let the audience figure out your point, don't sledgehammer your everybody's great don't be prejudiced crap into everyone. You do realize that someone might have voted for Brexit and actually are not racist? This really feels like a Brexit whiner's attack on everyone who voted exit. By the way, not a European so actually don't care if UK leaves or not. The Europe side shouldn't categorize everyone who doesn't want to follow Europe's path as as racist. when you do, you are just as much a racist as the person you accuse. Anyway, cut the radio announcer's blathering, especially all after the attack, and you actually have a good short. Right now, it looks like propaganda, horrible propaganda and convinces no one.

The Perfection (2018)

A tremendous hype engine, but watch it.

[5/10 · 26 August 2019]

A tremendous hype engine "Oh the vomiting etc. has made people sick..." blah blah blah. The reality, nope, it's really not even close to being that bad. Yuck? Perhaps, but I ate lunch watching this and do get grossed out by things like Saw (though enjoy them), and these scenes had no effect. You know very well what the story is about early, so the reveal isn't much. I agree with another comment here, the hair thing is a big deal? Really? Didn't the character already tell us several times about it? So that scene falls flat. The plot is just plain stupid. It's as if you go to the completely wrong extreme to solve a problem, like you lost your phone so you blow up the post office (not a spoiler there's neither in this film). It doesn't make sense. It is stupid. The very last scene where they play the cello in a Duet, and you see their audience, is also very stupid. If this is a sinister path your sinister path is to provide the evil person with what the evil person has always strived for "The Perfection"? Really? No this was just done for a gross out factor, which unfortunately just looked more silly than anything. BUT, if you can get over all that, which I can, I'm glad I watched it. It is perfection for the simple minded, but for anyone with slight reasoning power, it's stupid. BUT, again, visually it was enjoyable, the acting was fine. Some bit's of the camera work is perfection, when she's playing solo for an audience. Still glad I watched it, tho just don't think about it.

Diary of the Dead (2007)

A pretentious bunch of twaddle.

[1/10 · 28 April 2019]

Was there any character that didn't spout pretentious crap? Rather than trying to get their point across subtly, they sledgehammer the point. Social commentary. Really, that crap is actually considered social commentary. Sorry, no it isn't. It's just stupid crap. Oh, a gun, it's so violent. "By now we've become part of the 24/7." "We're shooting the violence, take it all in stride". Blah, blah, blah. Where did you learn to use that thing? A bow and arrow? REALLY. IS it that difficult to learn how to use? Professor, must talk. In short sentences. that really aren't sentences. So, the important thing-- Is it worth watching with the sound off? No not really, unless you're bored and so one gave it to you for free. "It used to be use against us. Now it's us against them." "He was right.... but now them is us." Holy crap Batman that is pure moose poop. This is intelligent? Heck, it isn't even worth pre-school.

The Saint (2017 TV Movie)

OK, if you can forget this is the Saint....

[5/10 · 8 September 2017]

and if you can give them a giant leeway- perhaps they'd get better over the next year, you could enjoy this. But my God, the last scene, him hiding behind a tree just makes you groan! Can anything scream stupid more than that? I've only seen a few of the original TV show, listened to every dang old radio show- starring Vincent Price, but this is not the Saint. It's some spy dude. And it falls into the same traps every other US (and who knows maybe the world) TV show does, for example, you have a female computer expert, who is not the Saint hence not the star, and when the expert is flummoxed, you have to have the Saint, the star, give a suggestion that even a computer novice like me would know, and the computer expert says something like "Good idea, I didn't think of that." I mean it's really something stupid like "Did you turn it off then on again?" But then, every mystery show does that. They're filled with idiot "experts" that the star has to suggest things to. Plus, some of the dialog is just so stupid. It treats the viewer as an idiot. But who knows, if you can ignore the books, the radio shows, the original TV show and it got non-insulting intelligent writers then maybe this could have been a show worth wasting an hour on. Not a whole-hearted endorsement.

Scream: The TV Series (2015–2019)

If this is what teens think is smart

[2/10 · 30 June 2015]

... then they need to watch more than this channel for morons. This looks like it was filmed in the 80s as a bad syndicated TV show, for those to young to know what that is, think straight to DVD movie i.e. crap. I saw the first 8 minutes of the show as a preview and was really excited to see the show (except it really was just a rehash of the first movie's intro.). It looks like they spent all the money for the show on the first 8 minutes, and had to go cheap for the rest of the episode. Really guys, the lighting and filming looks like "Small Wonder" (god awful syndicated show from the 80s.) As for the actual writing, it is obvious that the writers are really worn out and need to stop re-treading the same boring themes. Get rid of the "Randy" character. OLD really old. Kevin Williamson- you are so burnt out, all you are doing is a bad repeat of your movies. Time to retire. Or at least put in some production values so that I can look past the terrible rewriting of Scream, Scream 2, Scream 3 etc etc.

A Deadly Adoption (2015 TV Movie)

If paint drying is too adventurous for you.

[1/10 · 21 June 2015]

The movie that killed his future "serious" drama career. No doubt, like must other comedians they desire to do serious rolls, now with this crap no one's going to believe he ever does anything except "ironically". No one will take him seriously. I know he's trying "to take the stuff (word prohibited" but he's a seriously bad actor, in a so far dull movie. Someone really thought this was an "insane thriller"? You have really got to have a desire to want this to be funny. It certainly isn't so bad it's good. DULL. I'm surprised anyone got to the end of this snooze fest, I'm half way through and writing this hoping it gets better. You people must be crap junkies or whats-his-face junkies. You must be of the ilk that thinks Troma movies are great. Only thing funny in this movie is the name of the kid- means dirt, filth. You who loved it, I truly suggest the watching paint dry channel, I'm sure you'll be amazed. I'm not really sure Ferrell is intelligent enough to realize this wasn't serious. Finally, maybe just a tiny research about diabetes. I'll give you the very end was laughable but it takes a big desire or a really dumb person to get to the end of the 2 hour waste of time. I'm betting the reason no one related to the movie gave any interviews was because they were hoping someone wouldn't laugh at it and it would be their 1st step to be taken seriously. But, he can't act.

The Life and Times of Grizzly Adams (1977–1978)

A show

[1/10 · 30 May 2015]

I watched this with my mother in the tender teen years, lol. Then, once I grew up and actually learned things, it came on a cable network. My mother loved it, so I taped the episodes and sent them to her (before anything was released). My word, what a completely awful show full of stupid thinking and excruciating pap. I had t leave the room when it was on fearing the mental midget supposed "thought" would infect me. I wouldn't let any of my family watch it fearing they'd never be able to use their brains after watching this stupid crap. What a bunch a dribble. Thank God for high school and college that taught me to think- because watching this crap will actually kill brain cells. It's a shame, because as an unthinking kid, I liked the show- probably because my parents liked it. Needles to say, today I actually like things that require thought, not the pablum stupid political bent this show had. I have no idea if this show was actually popular during it's heyday, but I do know Haggerty's drug bust (speeding down the highway pitching drugs out the window) ended this horrible show.

The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (1990)

Perfect movie to judge future employees

[1/10 · 18 April 2015]

If you ever needed to see whether to put a person in a position of power or not, this is the perfect movie to make them watch. If they like it, definitely no higher than a janitor. If they rightly see it as pretty stupid, then you can trust them with an important job. Just horribly bad. What a stupid story. This has not held up well. This detective is so smart, yet this moron can't figure out that after the house blows up, car blows up, do you think maybe they'll go after his office? No, lets just play around like a moron. Would be nice to have some jokes there, or at least jokes that someone smarter than a middle-schooler might laugh at. In fact, the only funny things were said by everyone but Ford Farlaine (Ed O'Neil's singing). He certainly has a dick fetish, or just isn't smart enough to make better jokes. Do you really think the joke where the guy falls through the tour bus is at all funny? So, if you like it, you're a janitor. Of course, now we'll get fans of it pretending to be brain surgeons etc. Well, I'm the Secretary-General of the United Nations.

The Lizzie Borden Chronicles (2015)

Who screwed with this director?

[6 April 2015]

You can barely hear the dialogue in this above the director screaming "LOOK AT WHAT I CAN DO! LOOK AT ME!!" Was he confused in thinking he was directing a rap video? He's about as subtle in attempting to get a mood across as if hitting the viewer with a sledgehammer. Maybe the story was weak and he was trying to keep anyone from following it. Every possible technique that directors use-again- subtly to draw you in is used without abandon. Used a few times you're drawn in- used every second in 1 hour and it's a mess. In fact, it's all I think about instead of the story. Usually this is seen in first time directors, but this guy has done some good work- what in the world happened? As for the story, "based on fact". I really doubt it. I'm no expert on Lizzy Borden but I've never read of any suspicious disappearances around her. She killed once, probably, but that's about it from what I've heard.