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Il_Melandri
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The Predator (2018)
Typical contemporary movie dumbed down for the masses
I seldom review movies because I strongly believe that we should make up our minds by ourselves without recurring to other people's opinions.
Having said that, I need to vent out a bit since this movie managed to disappoint me on a level I didn't think was possible.
When I first heard that Shane Black was going to direct I was very skeptical. Usually he does good buddy cops action comedies, but anything else he put his mitts on becomes garbage (Iron Man 3 anyone?).
Then they announced the co-writer and my skepticism took a dive into pessimism.
Then they annouced the cast and I was fairly sure that the move was going to suck.
So, I went in without any kind of expectation, though wanting to like the movie since I'm a big fan of the original.
Surprise, surprise, the movie was even dumber than I thought it would be. They transmogrified a once serious and linear concept into a silly comedy for the dumb masses who's only parameter to decide if a movie is good or not is if it made them laugh. Nowadays fun has become synonim with quality, and The Predator perfectly exemplifies the level of juvenile tripe people have been hammered into believing it's good stuff.
Predator was a simple and effective concept who didn't have to make up unbelievable or complicated stuff to entertain. It was fairly basic and that's the reason why was so appealing. Now we have human gene harvesting, hounds, hypertechnological suits, giant superpredators and lots of bad jokes. Gone is the basic premise of a solitary alien hunter that hunts interesting game and takes trophyes.
Many reviews state that AVP Requiem was better. Actually no. It's on the same level. It's got even the same extremely dark photography. I'm afraid Predators, despite some serious stupid mistakes and lame writing, it's the better movie.
I just hope that now they'll leave Predator alone.
Ghostbusters (2016)
Just a forgettable product
I rarely feel the need to write a review, since there are already plenty to choose from and from better reviewers, but in the case of Ghostbuster 2016 (known also as Ghostbusters In Name Only, GINO) I almost feel compelled.
First of all I'm not a fan of the original. I like it, I own the Blu Ray, but I don't hold Ghost Busters to sacred standards. It's just an enjoyable, silly movie worth my time.
On with the review now. GINO is not a bad movie, but not good either. Not even mediocre. Simply put it's not a movie, but a series of short comedic sketches tied by the same characters and some semblance of plot. Not for one moment I felt like watching a proper movie, but just an endless series of scenes put together in a hurry and a flurry.
The frenzied editing doesn't help because the 'movie' jumps relentlessly from scene to scene without respite and I was left dumbfounded, often wondering what was going on and if it was really that important in the context.
On some level this may sound exciting and a synonym of non-stop action, but it's not. There's very little going on in terms of actual plot and what's going on is often boring.
I was pleasantly surprised that Melissa McCarthy wasn't foul mouthed as usual, but aside from that I didn't laugh a single time. Not even chuckled or smiled. Maybe it's a cultural thing, since two out of the four leading ladies are stand up comedians known in USA only, I don't know. Anyway McCarthy is not at her best (which can be a good thing), Wiig is simply unfunny (she was the weakest link in every movie I saw her, even Despicable Me), Jones just screams and McKinnon tries too hard to be kooky and to steal the scene. Thor, err, Hemsworth is good, but Kevin is just a bad character, so dumb that your suspension of disbelief is really put to test.
The characters are paper thin and never gain depth. By the end of the movie you still don't know anything more than was showed at the beginning, nada, niente, rien. The viewer is told in broad strokes who the four Ghostbusters are and what they do and that's it. No arc, no growth, just one change towards the end that was too little and too late.
The cameos are unfunny as well and I don't understand what was so exciting about them. The major part of the old cast comes back in different roles. Big deal.
Last but not least, when the credits rolled I was left with a burning question: is this really what people are fighting over on the internet? This is a totally forgettable product (yes, not a movie, a product) that would've totally been ignored if it wasn't for the big words thrown around by 'haters' and 'lovers'. This product is not worth anybody's time and energy, so I'm quite sure that all the fuss was just a clever marketing ploy and the people from both sides were successfully duped.
Watch on TV only if you are really curious, otherwise there are better ways to pass time.
Silent Hill: Shattered Memories (2009)
Scary as a box of kittens
I've been a Silent Hill fan since the first game and I never, ever thought that a brilliant franchise like this could end this badly. Shattered Memories is a pointless and utterly boring game not worth even if you are a dedicated fan. I won't waste my time or the reader's going into much detail, but suffice to say in this game nothing happens. You just have to run from a location to another and look around for keys and souvenirs, alwas not very far and lazily pointed out by the game itsel with a white arrow. The run-for-your-life sequences are so frustrating that you dread them, but for the wrong reason. Using a camera to photograph invisible things has already been done (in a better way I should say) in Fatal Frame, so nothing new here. The game is so boring that you can't be bothered to even pay some attention to the storyline, let alone the characters. The only noteworthy point is the music, but despite being better than Silent Hill Homecoming, is not remotely on par with the earlier works of Mr. Yamaoka. Probably the musician himself was not very happy to waste time on a piece of crap like this. The only merit of this game is to make look better the previous two western-made chapters (Origins and the awful-but-not-so-much-now-that-SM-is-out Homecoming). Shattered Memories is a joke. And a bad one. Konami and climax decided that Silent Hill fans don't deserve any quality. Pity, I won't buy any other future SH game and people should really stay away from this franchise.