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An error has ocurred. Please try againMy husband and I have eclectic tastes in everything. When it comes to films, so do my parents, but for multiple reasons (for example: they hate horror), our favorite films don't overlap all that much. They have their prejudices; I have mine. I am very happy that they're watching more foreign films lately; I'm not completely against the US film industry, but it's always interesting to see different ideas from around the world. I also don't need happy endings or sympathetic characters. They DO need at least one of those, so I've tried to select films that could be interpreted to contain one or two of those things...mostly.
Reviews
Breakfast of Aliens (1993)
I paid to watch this?
I was one of the unfortunate people who paid to see this movie in a theater. To be fair, it was part of a 24 hour SF movie marathon, but if there was ever a good time for a bathroom or meal break, it would be during the interminable runtime of this repugnant waste of celluloid and time. I've mentioned this movie frequently as the worst film I've ever seen (and that takes some doing). Most people don't believe it exists. I wish that were true. I was reminded of it due to the fact that the writer/director is now attached to a remake of Harlan Ellison's A BOY AND HIS DOG. How is this possible? Do Harlan and Susan have no friends left?
The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009)
Was this MEANT to be funny?
Well, if so, it doesn't quite reach that goal, either. Horror? No. That would require inspiring some feeling of unease, at the very least. Suspense? Not a whole lot of that, either. The purpose of this film is stated pretty clearly in the title, and the film itself is nothing but a dull, plodding journey to reach that end. I love horror films. I always have. I'm not snobbish about it--there are plenty of horror films that are, as Stephen King once put it, just "going for the gross-out" that I still manage to enjoy. I even kind of like the SAW films, which are nothing BUT silly splatter films. I'm not squeamish in the least. THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE is, quite simply, the worst things a horror film can be: boring and empty. It holds no surprises and doesn't really offer anything new. It isn't even really that disgusting. This film turned me into a clock-watcher. Sheesh, watch an actual autopsy and at least it'll hold your attention. I really should've known better than to watch this, because the synopsis is all you need. The visuals add nothing, the script is genuinely laughable (as are several of the performances). Go watch "A Serbian Film" if you're looking for a truly disturbing film that will not make you giggle or yawn. THAT film is a torture test, and you won't forget those visuals quickly--if EVER. If you're not quite up to that level of perversion (because if you're disturbed at all by, say, the HOSTEL films, you are a neophyte), try FUNNY GAMES (the original OR the remake--they're pretty much shot-for-shot). You might not get the gore you want (for me, buckets of blood does not equal horror), but it is a creepy little film. MARTYRS will give you all the torture you want, but it probably won't really stick with you. However, any of the films I mentioned (including HOSTEL) is preferable to THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE. Hey, maybe the sequel is better. I'll sure never know.