el-fast Reviews

Magnum P.I. (2018–2024)

Quite decent!

[7/10 · 16 September 2021]

I grew up with Tom's Magnum and I loved it.

I was a bit worried when they said there would be a new Magnum...

But no. No need to be terrified. It actually works!

Even so well, that when I watched the original series lately... well... It didn't age well.

The magic is gone.

But the remake? Great!

47 Ronin (2013)

Not what I expected.

[1/10 · 15 September 2021]

I expected this to be bad. I neither watch reviews nor spoilers, I mean trailers, so I only had this feeling... The white man without any expressions in a fantasy movie about one of the most prolific epic stories of Japan. How COULD that be any good?

But, I was wrong... It wasn't bad.

It was way WORSE than bad. Just awful...

The Three Musketeers (2011)

As to be expected - Richard Lester still is unchallenged.

[5/10 · 26 October 2011]

Even as a young boy, I enjoyed the 73-74 version of the great novel of Dumas over and over again. When it's announced that there would be a new version of this magnificent piece of work, I look out for it - worrying. And still my worries aren't scrambled. While this movie is enjoyable, it doesn't raise above the level of ye average no-brainer action flick. A pity, but then again, it doesn't hurt to see that your youth favourites cannot be touched.

On the other hand, I'd enjoy a new well made "Three Musketeers" very much. Perhaps in another 20 years? And perhaps in French, as it's a French story!

Knight Rider (2008–2009)

Money badly spent

[5/10 · 5 May 2009]

I wondered about this show. First of all, I was rather disappointed about the car. I mean, discarding the stylish Trans Am for a mere Mustang? Just doesn't do the job. After watching KITT for a while, it turns out he can even transform in three forms, which is quite senseless and most of the time it does not even make sense... The voice of KITT is rather boring and toneless.

Then the new intro song. Normally I like remakes with a bit of a rock twitch, but this one? Rather disappointing.

Then the more important things: The stories. I watched several episodes, as I want to give it several chances, but it does not really seem to get better. The stories are rather flat and chaotic and even quite repetitive to some lengths.

The acting is most of the time either overacted, or on the contrary missing livelihood in mimics and body language.

The special effects are really well done. Alas most of the time, they do not add to the story. On the contrary even, they are too often a way to show off with the CGI capabilities.

In some fist fighting scenes, the stand-ins didn't even look like the original actors. Different size, different body mass, different colour of hair, different hairdo. Normally I do not complain about such things, but here it's embarrassingly obvious at times.

Long story short: they better had spent less money on the effects and more money on decent writings and talented actors.

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford (2007)

A Slow train arrives too!

[8/10 · 31 October 2007]

This has been hell of a movie... in a wonderful and great sense of the word!

All right, it was incredibly slow paced, very true. But "slow" doesn't mean "boring" at all! When you are a passenger in a car that flies over the road at 200kmh/130mph, you don't see jack of your surrounding, you only have the rush of speed. On a bike, at 20kmh/13mph, you are able to enjoy your environment, the air you breath, the slight wind in your hair and the rays of the summer sun caressing your very face.

Same goes with movies. Fast paced action thingies give you a rush of adrenaline and an exciting experience. But this one, "The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford" isn't like that! If you like "action movies" and "westerns", you probably will be snoring in 30 minutes indeed. There is nearly no action in this motion picture, and it is not meant to! It is a document... the description of two men, struggling against life. The older one struggles with despair and paranoia, the younger one against his urge to become famous. None of them (and really no one in the entire movie) carries away your sympathy. Why not? Because this movie isn't about sympathetic people. This movie isn't about heroes or helpful men who endanger their lives for others. Every single character in this movie is a regular human being in some ways: focused on their own gain in one way or another. Not even the lawmen are depicted as being nice people. Why? Well, wake up! Jesse and his gang are outlaws! And not the Robin Hood like outlaws as they are sometimes depicted like, but ruthless highwaymen and even killers. Well, face it... they WERE ruthless killers and robbers!

And the coppers? Well, most of them were recruited from the bad guys at those times. Former gunslingers who were offered to stand up against other gunslingers to either kill or arrest them.

Women play an subordinated part in the movie. Why? Because this movie is the work of a women hater and sexist? No, not by far! Back in the late nineteenth century, women WERE supposed to be good for housekeeping and bearing children, and nothing else... even though that is FAR from true, of course. In that sense, the women in the movie aren't really "there". They have little screen time and if they are shown, they take background roles and are mostly at home, as it is quite expectable.

Brad Pitt's Jesse James was a man to get the creeps by. You cannot grasp him. You never know what is brewing beneath his scalp. You cannot predict him, cannot understand him. Pitt switches between the different aspects of a troubled mind neatly and convinces in his part as the neurotic or even psychotic gunslinger.

Casey Affleck does a tremendous job too. His Robert Ford has all the marks of another troubled mind. When talking, he cannot hold eye contact for a long time. He hides his malfunctioning understanding of the idea of "conscience" behind a dreamy look in his eyes and a shy smile.

Sam Rockwell... well yeah... Sam Rockwell... The man who played the bad guy in "Charlie's Angels 1", and who starred in "Confessions of a dangerous Mind". He seemed to be a chameleon before and he has proved he is in this very special movie. While he gave Charlie's Angels a bit of a level, he really was a bang in CoadM. In tAoJJbtCRF he plays the not so smart brother of Robert Ford who has quite some wisdom and life experience though, even if nobody gives him that credit.

The camera work was magnificent. The opening scenes with the train robbery, phew... it really straightened the very hair on my arms. The goose bumps went away a quarter of an hour after the movie only. One tremendous camera shot after the other. Magnificent!

Without the slightest doubt, this would have been the most impressive movie I have seen in quite some while if I hadn't seen "Ben X" a short time ago.

I can completely understand though, if many people did not like this movie. It is no Con Air or Ichi The Killer. If you are into relaxing and exciting entertainment, please do yourself a favour and skip this very movie. Here you will be obligated to sniff the atmosphere and to think all of the time.

The Challenge (1982)

IMHO: one of the best MA-flicks ever!

[8/10 · 25 January 2007]

This film is a Martial-Arts classic!

It has all the ingredients of a good martial arts movie in it... yet they turn them into something else. I cannot fathom the reason why it only received 5.5/10. It's outrageous!

--==## SPOILERS ##==-- Let's have a look at the film. A low life boxing sparring partner of a champion is frustrated. His technique is a lot better than the skill of the champ, yet he needs to be the mere sparring partner, reasons enough to cut the crap at one time and to beat the champ up and resign.

Het gets sucked into the quarrel of two Japanese brothers, one modern, the other traditional Japanese. Here he learns traditional aiki-style martial arts.

Yeah... you think you see it coming! The American learns Japanese MA in a three weeks intensive course and beats every Japanese up without effort! And... NOPE he doesn't! He gets beaten up until the very end of the movie! He needs to get himself a gun in order to survive and win... and even then he gets beaten up.

Furthermore the movie is especially about the culture shock between Americans and Japanese. You can see clearly how the Japanese know the American ways a LOT better than vice versa. --==## SPOILER END##==--

In short: this is one of my all time favorite MA movies and it will always be, no matter what flashy MA movies are released nowadays. I prefer The Challenge above Crouching Pussycat, Hidden Lizard ANYTIME!

White Phantom (1987)

VERY good... for a ninjer flick

[8/10 · 25 January 2007]

I do NOT understand all you guy's fuss... This is a NINJER movie! Look at all the other ninjer flicks at that time. None of them showed ninjutsu, most of them didn't even show Japanese Styles. At least this movie shows something familiar to Japanese arts.

Other movies take themselves way too serious (American Ninja, anyone?). White Phantom is low level fun, but without ridiculous exaggerated action every two scenes, and to me, that is worth a LOT! No wire fu, no flying ninjer, no ninjer who can teleport or make themselves invisible.

So in short: White Phantom offers a bit of fun, Japanese style of Martial Arts, no exaggeration and no "too serious" feeling. I don't see the problem at all.

Plunkett & Macleane (1999)

An old style tongue in cheek adventure movie... with a twist...

[9/10 · 30 July 2006]

When I went to the video rental store, back in the days when DVD was yet next to unknown to me, I had seen all the movies at the store that I was interested in. Or so I thought! The man behind the counter told me he had something for me that I definitely would like. He gave me "Plunkett and MacLeane". At first, I doubted it to be any good, but I trusted his advise and... man, I sure am happy I did take this jewel along! This is one of the best adventure movies in years, if you ask me! Of course, with Robert Carlyle as a major part, how bad can a movie get? Surely, Liv Tyler does once more what she's good at and nothing much more: being pretty. But still, you can very clearly sense that the cast apparently had a lot of fun, making this movie.

Battlestar Galactica (2004–2009)

First I was afraid... I was petrified... (very slight and minor spoilers)

[9/10 · 26 July 2005]

... how on Caprica could a remake of BSG EVER be any good... especially with Starbuck a girl... Tigh white... Boomer an Asian AND a girl... Oh boy... this will be the worst felgercarb ever and ever and ever!

But then I just had to see the downfall of BSG with my own eyes... and... everything turned out just well! I saw quite some episodes of the new series now, as well as the pilot. Well, boy oh boy!

What a magnificent show! I really hope they will release this masterpiece on Region 2 DVD with Dutch subtitles. No matter the price, I'll pay it! If this goes on like this, I'm afraid BSG:TOS won't be my favorite SciFi series anymore.

If you still aren't convinced: try it yourself... you WILL be!

Concerning the lack of humour in the series... watch Episode 1.09 "Tigh me up, Tigh me down"... there's quite some comic relief for this dark series. At some time there is a situation where everybody loses his head, provoked by the presence of the long lost wife of Tigh who suddenly shows up. At the very moment where all the main characters were together in one single room, fighting all over, accusing each other of bad behaviour and being a cylon... I just couldn't stop chuckling anymore. This was hilarious... in a dark, bitter, New BSG kind of feeling...

Van Helsing (2004)

Waste of time and money

[21 May 2004]

Being someone who likes to make up his own mind... being someone who frequently doesn't agree with others about films (for example: I think The Matrix to be the most overrated movie since Le Voyage dans la Lune, 1902)... I really had to see this myself. The use of colors and dim light effects... hmmm I like them.

But then I've seen the movie... Good lord! The horror! The pain! The agony!!! What did they do? How can you ever be able to turn such a potential idea in such a mess? I cannot imagine how anyone can think that this thing is valuable in any way. There was no acting, not even bad one. The action scenes are really over the top (I just say: swashbuckling at the bridge). The characters are as deep as the water level in the "see of silence" on the moon. The humour was as funny as tickling yourself with a fondue fork.

The story was a big balloon: nothing with a bit of colourful plastic surrounding that very nothing. The end was as predictable as the ending of Troy, but Troy is a classic epic. Everybody knows it. Fortunately, not everybody knows "Van Helsing" though... and that's a good thing. The only two good points about the flick are the music and the -spoiler- not so happy end.

I won't even buy this movie if it would be released at the price of €1.00 A complete waste of time and money and a complete waste of time that I even considered posting this here, but maybe I might save other people from this disaster.

Michel Strogoff (1975– )

This series really is superb...

[8/10 · 24 March 2004]

I can remember those days when this magnificent series was on German television quite regular. I always watched it since it was really a wonderful piece of work. Unfortunately, I can't figure out the movie company that made this series, or that has the rights on it, or I would mail them to request a DVD-release...

It is a series based upon Jules Vernes' famous novel "Mikhail Strogoff - courier of the Tsar". I've read this book as well and I find the TV series really close to that piece of work, which is -IMHO- one of the best works of Vernes. As far as I can remember it after all these years, the entire series is well made. Good acting, good atmosphere, wonderful costumes and locations.

The series take quite some hours, but never become boring at all.

I can only recommend this work to everybody who enjoys good adventure and travel films.