Well basically this film was not worth seeing the plot was terrible the acting was terrible and I can't understand why anybody would try to even make a film with such a terrible idea. The film however is extremely funny especially the first 20 minutes because almost half of the footage was taken from Terminator 2, this involves the siege of cyberdyne systems. The same footage was used for the destruction of the building, also the part where the T-100 fires on the police below who arrive in exactly the same way as in T:2. This was hilarious seeming that they were using mp5's in this movie and Arnold was using a mini-gun in T:2 which fires 100s of rounds at a time where an mp5 has a clip of 30, some how the mp5 manages to do the same amount of damage as in t:2 yet as in T:2 all the policeman were avoided, but then later in the film the killing of policeman seems to be a regular occurrence, hmmm also the helicopter scene where Sarah Conner was shooting at the t-1000 was repeated including someone in the helicopter firing at the van with an UZI. If you had't seen T:2 before I suppose you could be mistaken for this film having decent special effects. Anyway if you have nothing to do apart from get intoxicated and laugh at really terrible films I recommend this one highly 1/10 laugh factor a good 8/10
Reviews
3 Reviews
House of 1000 Corpses
(2003)
Straight out of the Mind of a Zombie
17 June 2004
Warning: Spoilers
<<<Spoilers Contained>>>
This movie to me broke through what has been common place in movies of late cheese, and predictability. People can say whatever they want about the plot the acting, but really it is a breath of fresh air to find a movie that used intertextuality with blatant copy cat scenes yet managed to put a new spin on it. It seems to me a lot of the reviews of this film in the negative have completely missed the point of this film. The point is there is no point that is what makes it so disturbing. Rob Zombie creates an atmosphere that ever increases into mindlessness and utter "What is actually going on here?" The use of Alice in Wonderland, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and my personal favourite Betty Boop was great. Rob Zombie wanted to make a film that was like watching an utterly surreal music video; all his characters were very much like cartoon characters each having the very cliché personalities but mixed together made the film insane. The injection of the four overly curious young people was the only hint of reality in the film and their injection into a completely parallel reality of some kind of carnival fun house was a stunning idea. More depth of characters definitely would have made this film more accessible to the larger audience, and of course because of this film will never get the credibility it truly deserves. Cinematography of this film to me was fantastic, the fast paced editing and cut scenes were very entertaining and kept you in this obscure reality. But the clincher for me of this film was the ending, and last sane character alive escaping Dr. Satan's layer by crawling up through the ground was an obvious reference to the walking dead and she very much looked the part, yet after her tremendous attempt to escape this foreign reality she was dragged back into it and without doubt fell victim to Dr. Satan as her 1000 predecessors. Finally a modern HORROR movie where there isn't a sole survivor. I love unhappy endings.
This movie to me broke through what has been common place in movies of late cheese, and predictability. People can say whatever they want about the plot the acting, but really it is a breath of fresh air to find a movie that used intertextuality with blatant copy cat scenes yet managed to put a new spin on it. It seems to me a lot of the reviews of this film in the negative have completely missed the point of this film. The point is there is no point that is what makes it so disturbing. Rob Zombie creates an atmosphere that ever increases into mindlessness and utter "What is actually going on here?" The use of Alice in Wonderland, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and my personal favourite Betty Boop was great. Rob Zombie wanted to make a film that was like watching an utterly surreal music video; all his characters were very much like cartoon characters each having the very cliché personalities but mixed together made the film insane. The injection of the four overly curious young people was the only hint of reality in the film and their injection into a completely parallel reality of some kind of carnival fun house was a stunning idea. More depth of characters definitely would have made this film more accessible to the larger audience, and of course because of this film will never get the credibility it truly deserves. Cinematography of this film to me was fantastic, the fast paced editing and cut scenes were very entertaining and kept you in this obscure reality. But the clincher for me of this film was the ending, and last sane character alive escaping Dr. Satan's layer by crawling up through the ground was an obvious reference to the walking dead and she very much looked the part, yet after her tremendous attempt to escape this foreign reality she was dragged back into it and without doubt fell victim to Dr. Satan as her 1000 predecessors. Finally a modern HORROR movie where there isn't a sole survivor. I love unhappy endings.
Van Helsing
(2004)
Cheese Fest from Nam
19 May 2004
I cannot understand why a movie production would put money in behind such a terrible storyline and terrible idea. I have seen films that pay homage to the great monsters of our time but this just rips that to pieces. Bram Stoker honestly will be rising to kill Steven Sommers in a fit to some how right the wrong that was this movie. I am sick to death of films being made purely to make money. This was in noway a good film. It was not slick, no sophistication that usually accompanies vampire movies. I could not take Dracula seriously, there was a comic relief monk. I strongly recommend avoiding this movie for the purposes of trying to put stop to Hollywood cheese. The ending was pitiful with Jackman looking into the clouds seeing Beckinsale's character uniting with her family, is this type of cheese really necessary, brutality is what was needed especially when dealing with the vampire of all vampires Dracula. Sommers has destroyed the story in every sense. There really is only one thing i can say had any substance in this movie and that was the special effects and they should not have been wasted on a film such as this. I seriously hope that the monster movies as a genre have not disappeared. I would love to see a more serious approach being taken towards them, maybe this is the movie that could change things, if movie directors are as disgusted with this as I am maybe it is possible, I'm looking for a solid monster movie from maybe someone like Peter Jackson to restore the genre to its former glory.
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