bostonblonde Reviews

Burlesque (I) (2010)

A Maudlin Film That Brings Out the Worst in Everyone

[3/10 · 10 January 2011]

First off, I LOVE movie musicals. They may be my favorite kind of movie, so naturally, I was dying to see Burlesque from the moment I saw the first ad back in September. When I finally saw it, it was beyond disappointing. I figured, "Well, if the movie sucks, at least there'll be some fun, Moulin Rouge costumes." Wrong again! The costumes were largely uncreative- too much like a Victoria's Secret catalogue.

But on to the worst part- the acting. This film drags everyone down.Christina Aguilera is horrid in the main role. I've always been a fan of hers and was excited to see her act. She can't. At all. Her character's overly dramatic back-story would be hard to play well even for a talented veteran, but Aguilera makes it seem like a bad made for TV movie. She's a fabulous singer, but she ain't no actress. Despite being "a real actress," Kristen Bell failed utterly as bad girl Nikki. She's gorgeous and plays "the bitch" well, but when she was supposed to be drunk, the only tip-off was that Cher wouldn't let her drive. Cher is one of the few in this film who did a quality performance, when the terrible writing didn't drag her down. Cam Gigandet was also commendable, but again, the lines his character was given were cringe-worthy. Example: while on the phone with his fiancé, Gigandet looks at Auilera's character across the room and says "My future? I'm looking at it." I vomited Sour Patch Kids into my drink. Even Stanley Tucci flubbed this film, although his performance in the second half is better.

On a positive note, Alan Cumming's character was a cute nod to Cabaret.

Clash of the Titans (2010)

Save Your Money

[3/10 · 4 May 2010]

The best thing about this movie is that the main character is HOT. Other than that, it's extremely forgettable. So much so that I saw it two weeks ago and can't recall the name of a single character. Visually, the film was stunning, but in every other way it was extremely underwhelming. Therewas some business about Greek myths and Liam Neeson is in it (although why he'd stoop so low, I cannot imagine), as is the actor who play Voldemort in the Harry Potter films. But anyway, the plot is equally terrible in 3-D or 2-D and the special effect are good enough in 2-D that there's really no need to spend your money on those dorky glasses. The fight scenes are kind of exciting, I suppose, but I was disappointed with the romantic end. Let me put it this way- the female lead's skirt gets mysteriously shorter as the film progresses, but it never comes off. Maybe that would have made this film worth my $10.50.

Less Than Zero (1987)

A Vapid Take on a Vapid Moment in Time and Place- But Not in a Good Way

[6/10 · 4 May 2010]

This film is very mixed. Robert Downey Jr. is beyond fabulous. Having watched someone very close to me go through addiction, I can say that Downey's Julian is the most accurate addict I've ever seen portrayed on film. His hopeless optimism, random outburst of rage, and constant sweating all ring true. But everyone knows RDJ is brilliant. Andrew McCarthy does well with the character created by the screenwriters, but that character lacks depth. If you've read Bret Easton Ellis's novel of the same name and are expecting the apathetic, drug-addled, jerk narrator, step back 'cause you won't be getting it here. It's no surprise the author was only happy with RDJ and James Spader, their characters are the only ones who even vaguely resemble those of the novel. The novel is shocking to the point of being nauseating and down right disturbing. The film is not. It's a beautiful, vapid montage of 80s that sometimes drags. The soundtrack is killer, especially LLCoolJ's Going' Back to Cali and the Bangles cover of Hazy Shade of Winter. But back to the acting- a few times in the film, Jamie Gertz hits on something real and heart-wrenching, but it's fleeting and before you can sigh with relief, it's gone. Much of her performance is pretty wooden and her performance in the last scene is positively painful. The sex scenes are very realistic, though. Probably the best acting Gertz and McCarthy do in this film. If you're into costumes, check this film out- they're pure 80s perfection.