timgneher Reviews

The Last Airbender (2010)

Yes, it really is that bad

[1/10 · 1 July 2010]

I walked into this movie with pretty low expectations. I didn't expect something as good as the cartoon, I didn't expect a perfect adaptation. I expected some glitzy action sequences, cheap emotional ploys, just some fun summer fair.

What did I get? A movie so indescribably horrible I can only shake my head in bewilderment. Believe the critics. The writing sucks, the acting is stiff, the pacing clumsy, the 3-D beyond bad, the overall tone way too dark and brooding. Not much here is salvageable.

Obviously Shyamalan got completely caught up in the mythology of the world and missed the fact that what made the original cartoon so great were the CHARACTERS. Of which there are none in this film.

But really, even just a competently produced film would have been nice. And it almost was. The music was great. The special effects looked amazing, I don't care what anyone says. The fighting was cool. The sets were adequately spectacular. Indeed, it appears the only one who didn't show up for work was Shyamalan. While the adult actors manage to find their way somewhat on their own, the poor kids are obviously lost without someone competently leading them, they spend most of the film in a bewildered daze. Even some of the background extras acted awkwardly. But of course, there are no real survivors of Shyamalan's CLUNKER of a script. I can't believe someone didn't stop this guy. There were maybe two scenes that didn't sound awkward, and they had no dialog. I don't think any film has ever been such a disaster due to one man's gross ineptitude.

Such a shame. It could have been so good.

The Garfield Show (2008–2016)

My childhood lies in ruins

[1/10 · 3 June 2010]

If you've been witnessing the slow but sure descent of Jim Davis's classic comic strip into repetitive, agoraphobic oblivion with the same sickening disgust as I have, well then get ready for his new TV show. I'm sure you can't wait.

You won't like this show just because you like Garfield, or used to like Garfield. Nostalgia can't win out this time. It doesn't stand a chance. There is no liking this show. It is not possible. It treats your love for its protagonist the same way Garfield treats talking scales, it stomps all over it and leaves it crushed and insulted.

I grew up with Garfield. I learned to read by reading Garfield comic books. I was addicted to reruns of Garfield and Friends, the first and only Garfield show that deserves to exist. I was all set to give this show a chance. Heck, I even found the movies tolerable. This show is not.

Try simply getting past how this show LOOKS. I go to an art school, I've seen Freshman animation projects that look as good. It's about on par with those xtranormal.com cartoons people make. Jittery animation that looks like it's taking place in Balloon Land. Jimmy Neutron's show looked better 8 years ago.

And if you do get past that somehow, then try picking out a single joke. I sat through three episodes, I saw about four moments in total that looked like you were even SUPPOSED to laugh. I'm not sure if the writers knew this was supposed to be a comedy. Slow paced and lethargic, wandering and pointless. Paying attention to it is a chore. Even the music is bad.

Garfield sounds like he has a speech impediment. Jon looks like an insomniac or a drunk. Liz looks like Jon in drag. She's now his girlfriend, which you already know if you've abused yourself by reading the daily comics too. Figure that one out. It's like watching a new Peanuts show that takes place in college.

In summery, it looks and plays like it cost a dime to make. The end product isn't worth that much. Hooray for another cheap cash-in via Jim Davis, I thank you, the world thanks you. You've successfully proved that Garfield means as much to you as political parties mean to Arlen Specter, he's nothing but your big fat hairy cash cow. I hope he continues making you lots and lots of money for a long time, just know that none of it will be mine.

Do yourself a favor. Forget Garfield. Forget this show. Go read the older books and maybe rent a few seasons of the REAL Garfield show. You can just pretend he died of a massive coronary sometime in 2003.