Jam_Man_UK Reviews

Rebel Moon - Part One: A Child of Fire (2023)

MAssive disappointment - Visually pretty , but boring

[5/10 · 22 December 2023]

Was really looking forward to this but its massive disappointing.

Watching it is like watchin 6 other movies all wrapped into one.

Its just like a paint by numbers movie, nothing feels original and at times feels like he is just taking ideas from other movies.

Its like Star Wars was thrown in a mixer with the Magnificent 7.

When they had to find the gladiator from the movie Gladiator and found him in a Gladiator Colosseum and he was a Gladiator that was pretty much it for me.

Before people had even saw it they were saying they wanted his Snyder Cut, but he needs to be able to release a movie that works immediately.

From someone who did Watchmen this is a big let down.

The Old Guard (2020)

ANother Netflix lesson in mediocrity

[3/10 · 12 July 2020]

Was looking forward to this one despite continually being disappointed with Netflix movies.

Great idea for a movie but as always thats all you get.

Great idea + big star but nothing else.

Nothing happens in the movie of any interest, there's little in the way of plot and it just plods along and nothing really happens.

Netflix need to stop spending big $ on the star and more on screenwriting so they can start making movies that interest and entertain people and not rely on a big name in getting views.

Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga (2020)

Another Ferrell stinker

[4/10 · 29 June 2020]

PAges and pages of 9 and 10 out of 10 reviews yet the movie gets 6.7/10 and the people I knoe eho have seen it all thought it was terrible.

Odd that.

Watched this movie the weekend and its not funny and at times excruciating to watch.

Im a big fan of Will Ferrell and when he gets it right he is a genius, but there are many times he misses the mark and you end up with a movie like this. Its rarely funny and relies on the absurdity of Eurovision to provide the laughs, which arent often.

Outpost Earth (2019 Video)

Home made quality

[2/10 · 1 December 2019]

Never judge the book by the cover is what they say, and never judge a movie by one either.

Gave this a watch as the cover looked ok and who doesnt like a good old apocalyptic invasion movie.

Within 5 seconds it was clear what I had let myself in for, the CGI is woeful and looks like its done at home. Then I skipped forward and came across my first alien, which was a guy in a rubber mask.

Couldnt watch any more but if you dont mind amateur movies you might find it amusing in a so bad its good way.

Six (2017–2018)

Started OK but went downhill and let down by combat scenes

[5/10 · 5 March 2017]

Was expecting something a little more realistic to be honest.

Seemed like an attempt to portray the Seal teams but came across a bit like an 80's action movie at times.

In the last episode with the big combat sequence as it was so unrealistic it killed it for me. They attack a defended position with helicopters in daylight and despite the enemy having RPG and 50 calibre machine guns deem it s good tactic to land the chopper about 100 yards in front of them in open area? The chopper would have been obliterated with in seconds. Luckily the 50 calibre just happens to jam and the the enemy soldiers rather than mowing down the Seal inside the chopper suddenly cant shoot on target.

Shame as it had good promise early on, but if you are going to focus on the Seal teams the combat scenes need to be far more than this.

Even Lambs Have Teeth (2015)

Mediocre at best

[3/10 · 19 November 2016]

Budget flick.

Lacking in any real plot.

Acting is poor, script is poor.

These revenge movies fail completely if you don't create characters you empathise with.

Not sure what the movies is trying to be, it avoids the gore so isn't a horror, no tension so not a thriller.

Typical movie on IMDb though, full of people rating it as if its a modern day classic.

Don't know what these fake reviews are meant to achieve.

Its a poor film and no fake reviews are going to hide that.

Lake Eerie (2016)

Film must have gotten better in November if you believe the reviews

[3/10 · 14 November 2016]

Odd the film was getting panned and that in 3 days in November suddenly a batch of highly rated reviews suddenly appear isn't it.

Well unlike those fake reviews I have just seen this movie and have no connection to it whatsoever.

Don't watch it based on those reviews, its very very very poor. I only sat through it because Im off with a bug and nothing else to do.

Its a typical low budget affair, poor script, poor acting.

The fake reviewers would at least have some credibility if they awarded it reasonable scores, marking it 8 out of 10 and placing it up there with the classics really shows just how fake they are.

Left Behind (I) (2014)

Terrible film, what was Cage thinking!?

[1/10 · 1 January 2015]

Whether you are a a believer or not, this film is truly truly awful.

Terrible script, terrible plot.

The girl is running around and cars are crashing for hours afterwards, why? Why does a bus suddenly veer off hours after the event?

No redeeming features whatsoever.

Anyone who votes this a good movie is letting their own religions beliefs cloud their judgement, if you believe in that stuff thats your prerogative, but as a film this is dreadful.

I cant imagine they even managed to get Cage involved, what has happened to his career to agree to this junk?

Noah (2014)

How has this got a 6.4 rating? 10% Turkey

[1/10 · 6 July 2014]

What was Russell Crowe thinking of choosing to appear in this garbage?

Taking away the religious aspect of it and arguing whether its true or not (lol) and treating it purely as a fantasy movie I still don't see who could have liked it.

Terrible storyline.

Within 5 minutes I was hating it and nothing changed.

What was it with the stone men, they look like something out of a movie 30 years ago. Jason and the Argonauts looked as good as that.

Terrible.

Avoid like the plague, or the biblical flood.

Last Ounce of Courage (2012)

So many 9+/10 scores, yet it gets 3.8. Shocker.

[1/10 · 1 December 2012]

Why do people insist on leaving fake reviews. Pages of reviews within a week giving higher ratings than some of the classic movies of all time, yet the overall score is 3.8.

Well I don't have anything to do with the film, am not American and am an atheist, and when I watched it I thought it was awful.

As film from a complete neutral it was terrible, patronising and laughable.

The film deserves to be on some Z-grade cable channel on a Wednesday afternoon.

Fortunately the scoring on IMDb shows the true picture, its a terrible low budget movie with nothing to warrant a viewing.

Deer Crossing (2012)

Low budget rubbish

[2/10 · 29 September 2012]

Don't be fooled by the fake 10/10 reviews, this is absolutely awful.

Low budget doesn't mean guaranteed poor movie. It certainly increases the possibility and this film shows it.

Awful acting.

Terrible "script".

Unimaginative characters, typical hillbilly stereotyping.

There may be hidden low budget gems out there, this isn't one of them, its complete rubbish. Cant think of one redeeming quality.

I rarely switch a movie off, and in this case didn't, but came very close.

Avoid.

This Means War (2012)

Absolutely awful

[2/10 · 3 May 2012]

Well there's an hour or two Ill never get back...

What is there to like in this film ?

Plot ? Ridiculous "romantic" comedy, with a really weak bad guy subplot only added to give the film a way of ending.

Characters are all unlikeable and spent most of the film thinking Reese's character was a complete slapper and they should be fighting to get away from her, not be with her.

I really don't see the purpose of the film, it wasn't a feel good rom com, wasn't a thriller or exciting enough for an action film, wasn't funny in anyway.

Avoid...

New Girl (2011–2018)

Finally a funny comedy !

[8/10 · 4 January 2012]

Just watched episodes 1-6 and have to say Im really enjoying this show and its the first show in ages that I've actually laughed out loud.

Was confused why the character 'Coach' disappeared after show 1 before google advised me that his previous show was given a new series. Possibly a good thing as his character seemed to be the weakest one in the pilot, just seemed to shout and not a lot else.

The show may be about Jess but to be honest whilst Zooey is good as her the character so far is little more than a kooky girl with no substance. Im sure her character will be fleshed out as the show goes on but for now she is upstaged by the other characters and the way they interact.

Looking forward to seeing the show develop, Im sure it will get a second series.

My only hope is that they don't take the obvious path to putting Jess with Nick as that would make the shows main idea (1 girl and 3 guys) pointless.