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Reviews
Time Runner (1993)
Who let the Dog schitt out?...whoo who who
if your a brain dead vegetable you will still hate this film but at least you wont know why, in fact the only people i would recommend this movie to is brain dead people who at least will not compute what i am saying and are therefore extremely unlikely to watch this film based on a one to one recommendation from moi without any intermediary there to amend the task-bridge for said brain deader. In fact the very thought of some creepy guy going around hospitals where brain dead people exist to recommend movies and tell them about my day because 'its good when you have someone to listen to you' makes your skin crawl and im sure you would like me to be publicly outed so you could throw rotten diarrhea at me - but that pleasure still pales in comparison to the satisfaction you get from the knowledge that you have managed to avoid watching the worst piece of crap ever to be schitt out of a elephants ass known by few (the few that were unfortunate enough to see it) as Time Runner
DumbLand (2002)
read this if you can you illiterate shoe thief
if you like this film then your from dumbland, if you like eraserhead then your from dumbland, if you wipe your backside with brown toilet paper then your from dumbland, if you wish to burn the soles of your shoes while your wearing them - with a lighter and collect the progressed material into an empty starbucks coffee cup only to then pour the red hot liquid down your pants because certain unknown truths in this world hold no bound, hence the screaming and the general disruption you cause at public transport centres when you haven't even bought a ticket (after finding out you cant get home)because it turns out there is no place called dumbland then your screwed
Street Fighter (1994)
This film is Schitt
Its absolutely abominably gut wrenchingly sister fuckingly horrid is what this is! If i wanted my girlfriend to dump me this is the very movie i would make her watch with me. Its cheesy and off the wall rubbish that has no relevance to not just the story of the video game nay it has no relevance to any kind of logic and is therefore kind of enjoyable if you like to watch retards act lame or you've got ganga giggles.
If your suicidal and your ready to throw yourself onto a bed of spikes then think of this movie, it maybe a last resort, recollecting on the screenplay you smile at the stupidity and b4 you know it your pissing your pants with laughter and at least you'll feel good and happy when your lying there in bleeding agony or it may annoy you so much that it will provide instant incentive for you to plunge head 1st into permanent sleep. Like i say it is so bad to the extent that it is at times hilariously lame and worth watching for that reason alone. Alternatively if your feeling a little poorly and you think your gonna be sick but nothings coming out then gather your bucket and stick this film on and i guarantee you success.
Ransom (1996)
Entertainment for the 1st half then...
The film flows fairly well from the get go as shaker and his gang steal the kid and assume the driving seat, telling tom mullen (gibsons character) in an email that they've got his son and then deliver a list of instructions of how they want a drop off of $2 million dollars and no cops involved. So Tom mullen against the gangs wishes calls the fbi as he is familiar with their methods from working with him on another problem. So all the characters are introduced quite well on either side of the ransom and it quickly becomes a case off will the crims kill the boy or hand him back once they get their money. When the 1st drop off is made and goes awry the character cubby is enevitably killed off. Now, i think this was a mistake because not only does he offer a different kind of character, a more compassionate human being out of all the kidnappers but when mels character tom decides to offer a bounty on the ransomers he(cubby)could of taken up that offer perhaps and may have tried to give jimmy shaker up on behalf of the kid and the mullen family; perhaps to could have almost succeeded and then shaker might have foiled him and gotten the kid back. Also cubby was a likable character and made the dynamics of the gang seem a bit more complex as cubby had a brother and who knows what side he might have taken had cubby tried to save the kid. The bald guy in the gang is almost pointless apart from i gather being a technology expert, screwing up the cops satellite signals and so on.
Basically there was one or two ingredient's lacking in order to keep the suspense going, it got a little bit mundane until shaker turns on his fellow accomplices, i thought that was a good touch. After shaker poses as the cop that busted the gang and saved the day (shaker's day job is a cop) so he could get the money for himself there isn't much left to play out and the ending was a fairly wounded down affair.
Disappointing as the premise was good, much of the characters were good especially shaker and cubby - Gibson was entertaining as always. But the main problem was the way that the tension dissipated very much half way through. The movie was spiked with some good moments later on but overall it had a very on and off feel to the tension - no tangible climax no flow