michaelvandamme3 Reviews

Leave the World Behind (2023)

Mediocre Movie #1 on Netflix

[5/10 · 16 December 2023]

Second paragraph contains minor spoilers.

I can't say I'd recommend Leave the World Behind for many reasons. If I had to be breif about it the biggest crimes this movie commits are that it's fairly boring or maybe it's that the character's reactions just aren't that believable; the frequently used camera movements I found incredibly annoying / nauseating, the actress who played Ruth was absolutely insufferable and the ending was one of the worst endings I saw in any movie all year.

I half joking called out that it was just going to end. And then it did. Nothing wrapped up. No definitive explanation of things. Just a couple of theories or events loosely tossed out there that we're expected to believe are a story being told to us in a movie. It was awful. There are good, proper cliffhanger ends. Prisoners is an excellent example. This just felt like they didn't know what they wanted to show people and were done even trying. And it was nearly 2.5 hours... why was it so long? It might not be the worst movie ever made, but it's definitely one of the most mediocre movies ever.

Gen V (2023– )

Gen Z Boys

[7/10 · 3 November 2023]

The Boys- with a lot more Gen Z drama and somewhat occasional cringe dialogue. All together it was good for what I was expecting. At its best it felt like it filled a void which The Boys has left through its insanely long 2 year periods between seasons and at its worst it caused me to wince momentarily but never for long enough that I felt like turning it off or that will cause me to think of The Boys as any less than I do. Even if Gen V did some things I could never see them doing in The Boys. Some characters were much more likeable than others. Sometimes you like to hate the villain. But that was not the case in this show. The characters feel slightly fake. Like you understand their motives, it's just that their motives don't make sense. It's definitely worth watching if you like The Boys despite any criticisms I have with it.

That '90s Show (2023– )

What Season 2 Needs..

[7/10 · 25 January 2023]

Things are rarely as good or better than the original; and That '90s Show is no exception. I just finished the 1st season and would definitely watch a 2nd, although I would really hope they make some changes to the show's formula.

I'll start by saying the kids weren't bad (for the most part). I'm sure given more time and experience they would only improve in their roles. For now however, most of the best moments from the series came from the cast of That '70s Show. It's too bad they didn't play a slightly larger role in the overall events other than making mostly brief cameos.

The new gang may never be iconic like the original cast with the Gen Z-ish vibes some of their characters give off. I didn't live through the '70s though so maybe others felt the same way about that show. But Gwen's character felt the most out of era and inconsistent in persona.

My biggest feedback for future seasons is to give the original cast more screen presence (at least as much as Fez) and slightly more involvement in the overall story. Red and Kitty really carried the series even through its lower moments.

X (II) (2022)

A Random Viewing

[7/10 · 8 December 2022]

X is a very unsettling movie to say the least. I watch movies knowing very little about them besides the general genre(s) and perhaps the names of a few actors in them.

It's definitely not a movie I'd care to watch again anytime soon because it's somewhat depressing, but at the same time it was fairly well put together, consistent and tosses a few hard to swallow scenes at you. It has off-putting and cringe inducing elements which is where the one time viewing mostly comes from, but on the other hand I'd still consider it a better movie than some I may sooner rewatch even though I'd consider them to be a 5 or 6.

The later portion played out in a mostly predictable fashion however there were a few unexpected (and sometimes hilarious) surprises.

Jeepers Creepers: Reborn (2022)

Worse Than The Trailer

[2/10 · 7 October 2022]

Yeah, it's a pretty terrible movie. The trailer had given me false hope that it might be ok. From the first 10 minute which poorly recreated the introductory scene from the first movie all the way to the bad execution of plot devices i.e. Cultists, mostly unnatural dialogue, use of CGI and the Creeper costume & style.

People say this is the worst in the franchise. And while I pretty much agree with that, the one thing Jeepers Creepers Reborn did better than JC3 was the time of day. This movie mostly takes place at night. JC3 lacked the ominous tension that JC 1 & 2 had in their daytime shots.

Halo: Inheritance (2022) Season 1, Episode 7

Easily a Skippable Episode

[2/10 · 7 May 2022]

At least a show like The Walking Dead went on for a few seasons before doing those boring spinoff episodes focused entirely on the least interesting side characters imaginable; but Halo managed to do that in its very first season with an already limited 9 episodes.

The script itself felt so unnatural that I cringed after pretty much every other shot. Also everything just worked out too, "easy?", for the characters. "You're not ready yet- but okay actually you are." "Go to where it all started- oh here's a piece of paper sitting on the table with a secret."

Unfortunately I might as well finish season 1. But after that I see no reason to invest time into something not even worthy of using the franchise's name. They've changed way too much and it's only getting progressively worse and worse with each episode. Who was this show honestly made for? Not the video game fans that's for sure, and it's just too damn boring to recommend for casual viewing.

* 2 stars because Soren finally got paid.

Halo 5: Guardians (2015 Video Game)

It's ok thanks to multiplayer, but it's a bad Halo game

[6/10 · 1 November 2021]

As much as I really don't care for the multiplayer game type selection, armor customization and rank progression, it's probably the only redeeming aspect to this game. I do enjoy the big team battle, warzone and firefight modes when the servers can actually stay populated- which just seems to stop after being several minutes into a match.

Been running through the Halo games in preparation for Infinite and my excitement has now been stomped into cautious optimism after this stark reminder of a campaign.

The story relies heavily on details never mentioned in the games, flat and meaningless dialog and just piss poor choreography. Seriously though, what was that intro? The entire campaign doesn't even make a single reference to a Halo ring. Even 4 managed to do that. By comparison, this makes 4 look like a masterpiece. The over the top abilities of Locke's team devalues all the crazy stunts Master Chief pulled off in previous games and insults the audience that's old enough to remember the original trilogy when they were new. They then become completely useless when Master Chief is standing right in front of them. I hope the lead writers never touch a Halo project again because they're simply an incompetent group.

A few final constructive criticisms are the music is easily the worst of any Halo game, the T rating and lack of any blood is not a good trade-off just so kids can have easier access to it (I played CE when I was 7, I wonder how?) and finally- and I completely forgot this prior to replaying it, but you only play as Master Chief for 3 missions. If Locke was as well written as the Arbiter back in Halo 2 I could forgive this point, but I literally couldn't care in the slightest for him or his team. I don't remember the names of the two females (promise I'm not sexist) but their involvement in the game meant nothing to me. At least Buck didn't come out of left field with meaningless details sprinkled here and there. Don't get me started on the Chief's team, they simply should NOT have been in the game.

Here's to hoping Infinite doesn't suffer from several of the same mistakes- and believe me, there are many more..

Wrong Turn 4: Bloody Beginnings (2011 Video)

First Truly Bad Entry

[3/10 · 25 August 2021]

For the first 45 minutes of the main story the characters couldn't go more than a minute without saying or doing something incredibly irritating. Second half was only a marginal improvement.

The characters, events and dialogue were so awful.

Within the first 10 minutes of the film you know exactly how it's going to end.

Total waste of time. Since 3 was rated poorly and I thought it ok, I thought I may enjoy this one too. How naive I was..

Rated 1: Seven.

Rated 2 & 3: Six.

Very forgettable movie. Likely done with the franchise that went on for way too long. That's the smart decision.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine: The Good Ones (2021) Season 8, Episode 1

Feels Forced

[4/10 · 14 August 2021]

They covered the topic of racial profiling before in Moo Moo and that was a great episode.

Know why? Because it wasn't forced. This was lazy and very poorly written. None of the characters felt like themselves just so they could... check boxes?

Strong contender for the worst episode. Which is unfortunate. I hope them re-writing season 8 didn't ruin it because that would not do this great show justice.

Spiral (2021)

Spiral: From the Book of Disappointment

[4/10 · 11 August 2021]

Had events been altered in a way where this could have been it's own separate thing I'd maybe have considered it to be like, a 6.

But alas they're trying too hard to drag the Saw franchise out without "really dragging it out". In a typical Saw fashion, the twist ending isn't really all that surprising nor is it suspenseful. They changed way too much of what made Saw, "Saw", while desperately trying to follow the same formula. I'd probably consider the franchise to be in a gradual decline since after Saw 2 and this is without a doubt the most disappointing entry to date.

This was not the revival I was hoping for, and like most people, I'd say this franchise really just needs to end already.

Army of the Dead (2021)

Good Concepts, Bad Execution, Mediocre Results

[5/10 · 20 July 2021]

Too long for its own good with surprisingly very little character development for 2.5hrs; its pacing was slow for most of the movie and felt unnecessarily drawn out. There were so many unanswered questions and annoying character decisions made throughout with extremely poor dialog and writing. I'm not sure if they were ever going for "humor" but if they were it really missed its mark. The movie felt ridiculous at times and still took itself too serious. Like a poorly written B-drama than an actual solid zombie flick.

All and all this was a mediocre waste of 2.5hrs. Visually it was fine but it really suffered in the writing department which ultimately plagues too many areas of this movie.

Fear Street: Part Two - 1978 (2021)

Fear Street 1978

[7/10 · 11 July 2021]

Let's be honest, you've seen part one, you don't need a review to tell you whether or not you'll enjoy part two. The formula for a good slasher film doesn't usually differentiate too much especially when they're shot back-back, although this truly felt like one that was made back in the day (some cliches).

Currently part two is rated better than part one, and while I enjoyed both, I did enjoy part one more. The first movie only got an unfavorable rating (spammed with 1's) because people are insecure and afraid that "woke culture" is coming for them to ruin their lives because they don't want to live in a world where Deena could be a lesbian in 1994.

Fear Street: Part One - 1994 (2021)

Walked in Blind and was Pleasantly Surprised

[8/10 · 6 July 2021]

I knew nothing about Fear Street before watching it and damn was it good. I'm used to very low quality movies coming to Netflix so I couldn't believe it. I'm glad they're releasing all 3 movies a week apart rather than all at once. Alternatively, had this been a standalone film I would have also been content. It felt no different than any other movie I've watched only to have to wait 2-5 years for a sequel.

It checks all the boxes for what it's trying to be. It's a fantastic blend of a mysterious drama and horror/slasher, with a splash of comedy and '90s nostalgia sprinkled throughout. I know this is vague, but they're all incorporated extremely well and the cast is near perfect. They all did a fantastic job. I feel like people disappointed with this film are either too young or too old to appreciate these genres in the given setting. For reference, I'm 26.

I highly recommend Fear Street. It's rare we get an R rated horror movie and not just another PG one that's loaded with nonstop jump scares. Odds are and best case, you'll have 2 other full length movies to look forward to which are both coming very soon.

All Hallows' Eve (2013)

Who was this made for?

[2/10 · 25 November 2020]

I like horror movies, but this is just unsettling. And that's coming from someone who liked House of 1000 Corpses.

It has some value to it; the way it was shot does a good job of making you jump here and there. And that's where my list of positives ends.

That leaves me thinking.. the acting was mediocre, the special effects and score are 'meh', the story is virtually nonexistent as most of the movie is a movie within itself (which are highly disturbing), and ultimately, who exactly was this made for? It's a series of disturbing footage with no story and little context other than the fact that there's a sadistic killer clown hunting the girl(s) shown in the videos who will ultimately chase them down and murder them in a very grotesque manner.

In my opinion the film deserves a much lower rating, although to be fair, when I seen the current "5" I should have known to stay away. That one's on me.

The Social Dilemma (2020)

Wasted Potential and Wouldn't Recommend

[4/10 · 29 September 2020]

This could serve well as a half hour special for some tv series about cautionary tales, but ultimately it's just cringey and overdramatized as hell. The ones with the best messages literally get the littlest amount of screen time leaving the handful of interesting stats lost in wasted potential. You're not "woke" for rating a documentary 10/10 just because of something we all know and is a universal truth, in that social media 'can' be bad for people with addiction and developing minds. I just saved you 1.5hrs. Go abouts your day.

Black Mirror: Bandersnatch (2018)

Interesting Idea

[6/10 · 4 January 2019]

The concept of Bandersnatch is interesting but it wasn't executed well in my opinion. The decisions only give you the illusion of choice so you end up rewatching a lot of parts which I found to be mildly frustrating. The other major problem I had was it honestly wasn't that entertaining. They even address this in one of the scenarios which was probably the highlight for me, but even that wasn't that great. It's an interesting idea and new to Netflix, but not new to the world. I feel this particular film is slightly overrated just because it's Netflix/Black Mirror. I may have spent a little over an hour with it and got what I believe is the "true ending" but I really don't care to go back and watch any more.

Cursed (2005)

A Worthwhile Watch

[7/10 · 29 December 2018]

It's crazy watching older movies and seeing people's unfavorable reviews I'd argue they don't deserve. In a day where Netflix and other services pump out a lot of bad movies, it makes me wonder why our standards have changed so much. If the general public thought this movie was bad in 2005, I wonder what they think of most movies readily available to them today..

If anyone does read this, as your average 23 year old I can assure you you're getting exactly what's being sold to you. A fairly lighthearted Horror (14A) tied in with a little Comedy. The movie is goofy and obviously a lot of it "doesn't make sense", it's kind of sad when people can't pick up on something that was done by design. Reading some other reviews I've determined people are so insanely critical that I can't imagine being that uptight.

I'm not saying Cursed is super amazing and everyone 'needs' to see it, but I think this one is slightly underrated. "But, but the rewrites.." -suck an egg. That was probably just frustrating for the cast and crew more than anything. Maybe it's not what it could have been but that doesn't automatically make it a bad movie.

Terrifier (2016)

Had More Potential

[4/10 · 14 September 2018]

The movie was okay, but a little disturbing and certainly not what it could have been. The acting was fine, so too were the effects and styling of shots focused around the clown, but the "plot" (for what it's worth) could have used some work. What I didn't enjoy was the brutality for the sake of brutality; a good horror movie doesn't have to leave you feeling disgusted afterwards. Leaving some things up to the audience's imagination is how a good horror movie should be shot. The antagonist was menacing, although he was practically in every scene. Again, this doesn't leave much for the audience to wonder where he is or where he's going next. The movie kind of ended for me when the "main" girl died. It was so anticlimactic. I half expected she would have got away somehow, and like multiple characters in the movie, she had several opportunities to kill the clown but seemed persistent on hitting him once and running away. There wasn't an excessive amount of cliches (there's definitely a few), but the ones I did notice were really unforgiving *cough cough that ending*.

Should you see this movie? I certainly wouldn't recommend it, but, there are even worse ones out there. It's good and bad, but really mostly bad.

The Babadook (2014)

Had More Potential

[3/10 · 15 January 2018]

The first 40 minutes of this movie I would say were pretty good. Unfortunately that's approximately where the quality of the film begins its decline, which is far too early by any standards.

The kid was alright but I found him extremely annoying at times, the mother was abusive to the point it was off-putting, and seemingly relevant characters just disappeared (her co-worker). I get the whole frustration from the mother, but it dragged on waaay too long in the second half and I almost forgot the film was also listed as horror.. I'm just saying it could have been done better.. a LOT better.

The scares seemed genuine and were mostly well done which matched the interesting concept of the film. Although again, the movie failed to see it through and fell flat before its horrible conclusion. I wanted it to just end before they ruined it, but there was still another 25 minutes and some awful cliches to be seen.

Hardcore Henry (2015)

A great movie if you enjoy lots of action and can handle the camera.

[9/10 · 20 November 2017]

One quick point I'd like to make. It's almost sickening seeing people go out of their way to create a new and "first" IMDb account just to review a movie. I'm sure you haven't spammed 100 other movies with the same kind of nonsense story... I'm sure THIS is the movie that caused you to create your obviously fake account.

As for the movie, it has a lot of negative reviews. People complain about a lot of things, saying they got sick, acting was bad, or they walked out within 15 minutes, etc. etc...

First off it isn't a bad movie at all, it's actually rather enjoyable and I found it didn't actually get worse as it went on like some movies, but actually picked up. It's a nonstop action movie shot in the first person and if you can't handle a shaky camera, why did you even go out of your way to watch this movie? Let alone review it.

The acting was just fine for what it was, I have zero complaints there. I mean I actually thought it was pretty good, and I'm sure most people would agree. The movie certainly shouldn't cause someone to leave within the first 15 minutes. I don't understand that argument, even the worst movie I've ever seen I sat through most if not all the movie, it's kind of ridiculous to judge a 1.5+ hour film on the first 15 minutes in my opinion.

I recommend watching this movie alone and with noise cancelling headphones, at least that's what I did. I just feel that having seen this in theatres with people constantly getting up or on their phones would have ruined the experience.

This movie did a lot right and I can't think of anything particular bad about it, especially since there's no movie quite like it. The movie's soundtrack was also very well done, it is very good at setting the mood for each scene throughout the movie.

Much goodness/10

The Midnight Meat Train (2008)

The Midnight Meat Train

[6/10 · 31 October 2015]

With a title like The Midnight Meat Train, how could you possibly go wrong?

The movie actually is very fairly promising at first but the sometimes over the top effects and poor acting on the girlfriend's part took me right out of the movie when I really didn't want to be.

There weren't many movie-ruining issues that I noticed, although some parts did make me laugh because of how ridiculous they were. Surprising the ending as ridiculous as it was didn't ruin the entire movie for me. Maybe I just wasn't disappointed because I already expected it to be pretty dumb.

I have rarely seen an outstanding "10/10" horror movie masterpiece; the producers aiming for a 7 in this genre is all I can really hope for. Saw and the 2007 re-make of Halloween are the only movies which I've seen so far that have broken this barrier.

The movie is interesting enough that you'll want to finish it but not interesting enough for you to ever want to watch it again. That can be said for most movies obviously, but if you do so choose to watch it I'm sure you'll be taken out of the movie at times like I was.

Should you go out of your way to watch it? Probably not, but if you're looking for something to watch around Halloween time there are many worse movies out there you could be wasting your time with.

Black Mass (2015)

These High Ratings Are Fan Based, Not Quality Based

[3/10 · 25 September 2015]

Black Mass was such a boring movie. There, I said it..

Not only was it boring, but it was also confusing at several points which made it nearly impossible to enjoy while watching it for the first (and only) time. It isn't completely impossible, but there were far too many pieces missing throughout.

I checked my watch an hour in and dreaded the fact that I still had another hour to sit through.

Excessive swearing and random killing is all this movie was. Were the performances outstanding? Hardly. And this surprised me considering all of the positive reviews and famous names of people who were in it.

In the end you're left with an overrated crime based "drama" movie that isn't worth watching and full of regret wishing you had bought that dessert rather than sitting through over 2 hours of whatever the hell that was. I was very disappointed.

Sharknado (2013 TV Movie)

Hear Me Out (I'll Try To Make This Quick)

[3/10 · 25 July 2015]

Although I would never go so far as to say Sharknado deserves a 6+/10 because it was "so bad that it was great", does not mean this movie isn't worth a watch.

Okay, so it might not be the most productive thing to be doing with your time.. but I guarantee you you'll laugh out loud several times throughout this movie, especially closer to the end.

There's no better way to describe this movie other than absolute ludicrous; if you're anything like me you'll be thinking to yourself how completely ridiculous each scene of the movie is as you watch it.

I'll give them 2 stars since the acting wasn't all that bad for a relatively "low-budget" movie. Disagree with that? Go watch Secretes of the Clown and then tell me Sharknado had awful acting... it doesn't. (for the most part)

So there you have it, if you and a group of friends are incredibly bored one night and looking for a few laughs, go ahead and giver a watch.

Cube²: Hypercube (2002)

One Was Bad Enough

[3/10 · 14 April 2015]

Having re-watched this movie not long ago I feel obligated to write a review on it while I can still somewhat recollect what happened. I will warn you right now, this movie is not worth watching. I mean, I could have accepted the original Cube to act as a stepping stone which later inspired the Saw movies, but I can't even do that anymore because they actually tried too hard to make Cube a thing. They try to add story as to why the characters are all in this "hyper cube" and what it all means, and do you know what it all means? Jack, sh*t. All the details mentioned in this movie could have easily been done without, they do absolutely nothing for the advancement of the plot, assuming there is a plot, except for take up time. It's not even that the movie effects were bad or the acting was poorly done in any way, it's just that there is absolutely no point to any of it. I was convinced these were the first movies these people ever made because they're just so awful. They don't show you outside of the "Cube" for Christ sake. All the characters share ties in the most forced way possible which left me thinking, "...really?". Some of which didn't even make sense, and some of the information that's delivered feels way too incomplete (arguably the details that SHOULD have been included in the movie). Please avoid this film. The other two in the series are atrocious enough as it is, this one just draws the sh*t line.

Secrets of the Clown (2007)

"You're Toast"

[1/10 · 26 March 2015]

I've seen movies with similar budgets turn out to be quite successful despite the restraints put on them by their lack of funding. This film on the other hand takes that $140,000 budget and uses it to deliver a steaming pile of shart directly into your internal being; and once you see SotC you may never again be able to unsee it. I'm just going to jump to the point with this one, you'll absolutely love just how much you hate this movie. I mean it's quite astonishing the sensation you get from watching it. You'll enjoy the experience but also die a little inside in doing so. Simply put, there is no "liking" this movie. If someone were to say otherwise I would seriously question that person's sanity. The fact that it was even released out into the world still baffles me to this day. I made the unfortunate mistake of supporting this clown and to top off the icing on that cake of sadness, I've seen this movie not once, but THREE times. Believe me when I say I have no idea why, but I'll probably see it a 4th someday. You've probably made better movies with the very first cell phone you got in the early- mid 2000's which couldn't even take video. If you don't want to get mad to the point where you're seeing red, avoid this movie like the plague.