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Lovely Molly (2011)
Don't watch it. Just don't.
Let's be honest. Horror movies these days suck. But I saw this on Netflix, and I thought I'd give it a chance. "From the makers of The Blair Witch Project and The Lord of the Rings." Seems promising enough, right? Jesus, how wrong was I. How do I even begin. This movie is like an attack on your conscious being. It was like... like The Blair Witch Project on oxycontins. And how appropriate, since the same people who made that made this dribble. It was uncomfortable, unengaging, unentertaining, underwhelming, and anti-climatic as all hell. Though it was only 99 minutes, it seemed to go on for hours and hours. And you know, I have no problem with long movies, as long as they're entertaining. My god, I knew exactly what was going to happen next pretty much the entire movie. And towards the end, Jesus. A monkey could have guessed. Everyone dies, in the most predictable ways. A screwdriver to the back of the neck. Except for the very end, which made all of no sense. When she's walking outside, towards that wolf-owl-raccoon-horse thing... if you've seen the movie, you know what I'm talking about. But hey, who am I to judge the people who praise this garbage. If you like watching people walking suspensively through doorways while a never ending high-pitched static sound plays in the background (PS, be prepared to have a ringing in your ears for upwards of an hour after the movie), then damn, be my guest. If you're looking for a good horror movie, might I recommend: Suspiria, The Thing, Carrie, The Exorcist, or Christ, anything but this. Honestly, I wish she would have gone through with the suicide in the beginning of the movie. Would have saved me an hour and a half, and probably some brain cells. 1/10.
Glee (2009)
A gross miscalculation.
First of all, the show itself is just awful. It disgusts me that so many people buy into this. The show itself desperately tries to preach to people about 'being themselves,' yet they're constantly showcasing 'different people' getting doused with slushies by popular kids. Makes sense, right? The writing is just atrocious. Absolutely awful. No doubt the worst writing I've ever seen on a television show. They use the musical numbers as cushions to cover the plot holes they can't cover themselves. Often, a problem is solved with a simple musical number. How can we convince Puck that having a baby is a good idea... musical number! How can we convince Wade that it's okay for him to cross-dress... musical number! How can we convince Karofsky not to kill himself... musical number! You guys get the point. The situations and resolutions are so unrealistic, it's disgusting. This doesn't happen in real life, most of the plot is completely implausible. To add insult to injury, the music selection is terrible. It's all either taken directly from the Top 100 chart at the time or the greatest hits of a recently dead celebrity; and about that, they're completely soulless with no regret, pawning off the misfortune of others. On top of that, 'New Directions' itself is completely unrealistic. At first I thought, maybe the musical numbers are like dream sequences, or they're just imagining the big set-ups, lights, costumes, while just singing. But no, it's actually 'happening.' Yes, the characters step into a room that's completely made up and decorated, with back up dancers, elaborate outfits, and the band that they have completely at their disposal, who can apparently play any song you could ever imagine. The club has unfathomable budgets, of which no school would ever fund, or allow, for that matter. The overly-dramatic aspect of the show is enough to make you vomit. Everything is a f--king soap opera with these writers, no one can ever just have a normal day. The 'comedy' is non-existent. Here's something funny! I've noticed countless one-liners stolen directly from the original Fame. For example: "That's vocal masturbation." Can you believe that? It's a wonder they make a profit off of this. Fox must be marketing wizards.
Shake It Up (2010)
Let's take this seriously ...
Nothing deserves a 1/10. Taking everything into consideration, this deserves at least a 3/10. Let's face it. This is just the same basis of any other Disney Channel show. A teenager with a 'funny' best friend, 'annoying' sibling, 2 enemies that form a sort of 'team' against the main character, and 'independent' single parent. A mundane, every-day life of a normal teenager with a sudden twist. Either, they're secretly a pop-star, has a twin brother, or is psychic (however, That's So Raven was one of the better shows on Disney Channel). In this one, they just happen to be the new star of a dance show. The jokes, like most other shows before this on the Disney Channel, are recycled from other shows, and burnt to a crisp. Most of the time they weren't funny to begin with. Also, put plain and simple, the characters are annoying. Also, the writers try too hard. They build on a character's personality too much and too frequently. I don't feel like watching the antics of some over-peppy, annoying teenage girl. Also, they try too hard to make you hate a character, when the audience has to build up feelings for a character by themselves. All in all, this show is made completely for children. This is just apart of the new Disney Channel show 'Generation.' Out with the old, and in with the new. Nothing good can stay. I'm judging this on an overall level of quality.
Eat Pray Love (2010)
Nice Movie, Good Concept, But Didn't Live Up to Expectations.
The book was everything and more. It was filled with love, passion, and emotion. It made me laugh, and brought me to tears...
But the movie...
Ehh...
It didn't live up to expectation. I love the whole concept, storyline, and Julia Roberts is great... but it didn't fill me up with the same emotions and have the captivating detail as the book. I mean, where's the action? Where's the 'doing?' Where are the breath-taking experiences that this movie lacks? I assume this is because Gilbert experienced everything in full... "color," or detail, but the movie was like a montage of the actual experience, and the whole thing is kind of... "forcefed," to you. Good movie, but not great.