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jonesythemadd
Reviews
Piranha 3D (2010)
gore and boobs make it all worth it!
usually, i can't stand remakes of older movies, the concept of this movie alone seemed dull, however, it seriously made up for it in that it has some of the best gore scenes i have seen in a long time! the sexy summer breakers die in creative ways, maximizing the gore, we have people being pulled in half, we have penises getting burped out, we have faces being torn off, among other scenes that make you either grossed out or crack up... depending of course on your tastes in horror. i watched the movie a second time around just to see the panic scene. and on top of that, "gianna michaels" is in this, briefly of course. but as she is my all time favorite porn star, seeing her appearing in this movie, made my day! the plot may be stupid, but if your a gorehound like myself and enjoy a serious amount of t&a you will love this!
Conan (1997)
By far the worst series i have ever seen!!
OK, where to start....My roommate made me suffer through this series on netflix and i usually don't say anything about my thoughts on things like this, but this was the worst.
First: Bad acting, the characters acting is absolutely awful, the character of Conan although German, sounds like he's trying to pull off a bad Arnold impression. Bayu (aka tj storm) does this stupid... cat thing or something where he pretends like he is some animal while fighting, the entire cast just sounds like they don't know how to act, even Danny woodburn tanked in this one, and i really like him. Second: the effects, the swords are obviously fake, they are obviously flat and wooden or plastic, the hammers are clearly rubber or foam, they look like poor quality props picked up at the local costume shop. the choreography of the fights poorly done, it doesn't even look like they are trying to hit each other. the magic effects are just sad. Third: the plot: the amount of plot holes in this show is just pathetic. they have flashbacks in one episode of things that clearly hadn't happened yet, because they were shown in later episodes. the series ends making the viewer feel cheated, its like premature ejaculation, over before it even starts. the skull that talks dosen't escape, Conan never sees his daughter, he just pops out of the water, cuts the bad guys head off, and thats the end. overall the entire series was the worst 22 episodes of crap i have ever seen! the one redeeming quality of the whole series was the endless supply of big breasted barely dressed females and the occasional cameo from people from some movies, although sadly even they were only supporting actors in their other endeavors.