nathanschubach Reviews

Win Win (2011)

Dramatic more than comedic, wished it ended stronger

[6/10 · 3 August 2013]

Based on the recommendations of this site for watching "Safety Not Guaranteed," I was curious what this movie was. Being an indie film probably made on the fly to fulfill a few contracts, this movie feels like "The Karate Kid" filled to the brim with overused tropes used in various movies every month. (The biggest and most obvious one is the "misunderstood kid who is a genius/Olympic athlete" trope.) Although parts of the film felt overdone, it was still a solid story with good characters, a decent cast, and a hopeful spirit for a great end.

I personally disliked the ending. SPOILER*: By the end of the film, I felt the title of the movie should be changed to "Lose Lose Lose" because of the outcome to Paul Giamatti's character's original dilemma. He's a dad and a public defending judge who is running out of money. By the end, he takes on more responsibilities and still doesn't have the money he needs, even picking up another job by the end (making 3 jobs he goes to). The title merely refers to his thought-process in scheming this old man out of some money while he helps him every once in awhile.

Most of the movie feels forgettable, but it's sweet and offers the audience some escaped by gaining insight into this inconvenient time in this family's life. I probably might rate this lower if I keep thinking about the movie, but the actors in this are pretty awesome and should get some recognition.

The Details (2011)

Glad the movie was self-aware that it was like a bizarre-"American Beauty"

[6/10 · 4 July 2013]

There's no real way to go into the story of "The Details" without giving the…details…away. All I will tell you is this: It's a movie that is self-aware that it is so close in proximity with the feeling of "American Beauty" that you hear a special ringtone on Tobey Maguire's cellphone to reference that movie. Dennis Haysbert stole the movie; his acting in some of the scenes had me in tears. Elizabeth Banks dials her comedic-self down in throughout the movie and shows her butt, briefly. Tobey Maguire is a man-child, and I'll never understand how I'm supposed to believe he's a doctor in this. And there are multiple raccoons and cats throughout the film.

To me, the whole movie felt like an elaborate play with a familiar story that could've been written for Reader's Digest. You could also feel like the story could've been taken from real life news articles or something. There are various visual/time effects used in the movie, which felt distracting at times and out of place, almost like the director was horsing around with the editor for too long while in post-production.

I would recommend the movie to fans of the cast, but the movie isn't going to go over well with all of my friends who like comedies. It just wasn't very comedic or funny but more outlandish and insane-to-believe. It's hard to believe myself when I give it a 6 star rating because the movie was very middle-of-the-road, but again, Haysbert boosted the likability of the movie, gaining it a star or two just for him.

Friends with Kids (2011)

Don't let the comedic actors fool you; they can cry on command

[29 June 2013]

There's no way to sugarcoat this review with film class rhetoric to describe the film. It was a romantic drama with a slight dash…a slight dash…of comedy. I cried more than I thought to laugh at any of these scenes, and I'm a dude. I enjoy romantic moments in movies, what can I say. The scene with Adam Scott finessing the dinner he bought for his baby-mama: yeah, I cried. It was thoughtful. I cried when she was brought to confession (and ultimate realization later in the film) about her feelings for her baby-daddy.

However, this falls under the "new progressive social ideas and experiments" category of film script which can make the viewer more perplexed about how a friendship like the one shared in the movie would actually be like than to exhibit known-emotions about such a situation. Story aside, the actors did great. I recognize them mostly from comedic and improv origins (and from various appearances on my favorite podcasts), but familiarity with the comedy-world aside, I was astounded at their ability to turn off the laughs and turn up the drama in these characters.

The ending felt forced, to me, and the emotions and the dialogue was a little askew from what I can believe out of the two main characters. Some of the directing of the children (if I have to nitpick) was just ridiculous; it's as if every director feels that every child is rambunctious and uncontrollable around their parents in every social situation. The characters themselves were a bit "on model" with characters we've seen in other movies, too… even some who look alike (like Adam Scott reminds me of Tom Cruise in "Vanilla Sky" with his fancy job and New York living while trying to have sex with every suitable woman he chooses).

I wish the video streaming service I watched it on didn't sell me the movie as a comedy; it was clearly drama throughout. I remember making my first chuckle to myself at 39 minutes into the movie. I had to give the movie 4/10 stars because it was right on the fence of making a good film (which would make it 5/10 stars), but the question I ask myself is "would you recommend this to anyone?" I have to say, no, which drops it down a peg.

This Is 40 (2012)

This is OK? I think I don't even know anymore.

[5/10 · 31 May 2013]

A funny movie at times, "This Is 40" attempts to resurrect the family you might remember from the hilarious comedy " Knocked Up" (although it feels like it's own thing separate from that film). It's a little long (like "Funny People") and a bit serious at times when it comes to real-life issues we all face when attempting to raise two children as you head into your 40's. The movie has gotten a lot of negative press due to the financial situation of the couple and how common the first-world problems are with the script, but the characters are likable and the actors really put themselves out there (except for one particular improv session by Charlyne Yi which felt shoe-horned in while her and Mann's character were drinking coffee). Still, if this is what 40 is to Apatow and smelling farts in bed is the worst that your day gets, you've won life compared to multiple other families.

The movie feels like a drawn-out collection of outtakes from "Knocked Up" and even "Funny People" (since Apatow's wife, Leslie Mann, stars as the wife/mother figure in those movies as well). The script is pretty standard: give these well-to-do people some drama over and over and have them work things out in their own way. The kids in the movie are great (they should be; they're Apatow's/Mann's kids in real life), and the monkey-app scene is fast but great…trust me. And in typical Apatow fashion, we have a tense scene of a guy running away from life on a bike (similar to "40-Year-Old Virgin"). So this movie feels like a "Best Of Apatow" presentation.

If you're a fan of the typical Apatow players (Paul Rudd, Leslie Mann, his kids) and the style of his comedies, you'll see this with my recommendation or not. If this is your first Apatow movie you watch, though, I can see how it might be plenty bland and drawn-out.

Niagara, Niagara (1997)

Another middle-of-the-road love movie, despite the mental disorder

[5/10 · 30 May 2013]

This is a little-remembered film from the 90's starring the types of characters from Drugstore Cowboy, Natural Born Killers, and True Romance, except for one has Tourette's syndrome. Their interest in each other gets them caught up in chaotic scenarios and ultimately puts their relationship in peril, even if one of them has a lot of crazy life stories to tell to future children or something.

The characters were sort of bland, Gen-Xer, 90's models of 20-somethings who had niche interests in petty theft and living life outside of the local rules. Robin Tunney gives a good performance as the Tourette's girl (name forgotten), but Henry Thomas' character, her significant other, was dull and not bright at all…a real pain to watch. The worst part about the film was the missing logic during most of the characters' encounters with people along their journey to Canada. So many awkward experiences could have been avoided if the guy just explained her mental condition in a calm manner to others.

Overall, it's a memorable film, to me, but it gets lost in the shuffle between the aforementioned movies and films like Girl, Interrupted which explore more mentally-challenged characters on a deeper, more logical level. It feels more middle-of-the-road, which is why I give it a 5 star rating. A better ending would have boosted that rating up a notch, as well.

Dave's Old Porn (2011–2012)

Prepare the comedy-loads to be blown, followed by a nap after each episode

[7/10 · 27 April 2013]

'Dave's Old Porn' is a look into the ups and downs of the history in the adult entertainment industry and its products. The grooming-trends, the music, and the upholstery has all changed over time, and Dave Attell is here with a number of buddies in the entertainment biz to pick apart Attell's finds in his collection. You have to love the guests that come on here, and their candor in front of the camera is a welcomed treat. Dave is especially funny as a host with his retorts and imaginative back-stories for some of the videos and actors they start to watch. Something fresh about this show is that the guests are not merely on the show to plug (advertise) a show, a movie or something else they have been working on (much like a late night how on a network channel might do) so they keep attention to the porn movie Dave picks and where the conversation is going. He also brings back older porn "legends" for interviews and to view their classic movies they've been in, which is interesting, especially when they don't care for Dave talking over their scenes or when they hit on other guests.

It should be noted that Attell put up his own money to produce and promote the show, which is admirable and takes a lot of guts to commit to. Certain elements of the show, however, look cheap and a tad over- used from shows on TruTV like "America's Dumbest." The censor-choices are in particular pretty annoying to me (who wants to see a couch with them talking on it fly up and down as it acts like a censor for a guy's junk, only to explode with digital VHS tape-graphics time and time again?). Dave seems a little too comfortable at times to the point of balancing his look as a pervy uncle with his look of being an extreme narcoleptic. Maybe it's how comfortable he is, I dunno. Also why is he sitting on a pillow in a number of these episodes? Strange choices.

I highly enjoyed the funny commentaries throughout the show and the addition of these great guests is another reason to watch, but I can't help but feel that this entire series feels like a number of YouTube videos strung together and a bit forgettable after they end. The production feels like an updated cable access show for the 2000's with slightly better video tech to punch up the comedic effects in the various videos they watch. As of Feb 2013, it has become known that they were not renewed for a third season, but I hope Dave continues to do the show elsewhere on the internet because it's still a great watch with great comedy and great guests.

Cube (1997)

A concept without a purpose and annoying characters

[4/10 · 2 April 2013]

I recently revisited the "Cube" movie after seeing it once when it came out, and it holds up in some ways, but mostly it had a lot of annoying parts that I had forgotten about. The Cube concept is simple: various people wake up inside the Cube, a 14x14x14 enclosure with various rooms which might lead to a way out. Each room is designed with doors on the walls, a door in the ceiling, and one in the floor. Aside from different colors, the rooms each have a number-marker on them, and they can either contain traps for unsuspecting travelers or are safe-rooms, allowing visitors to pass through them. We get to understand how these people in the film get from room to room by taking a look at their individual characteristics and professions.

I love the concept of the Cube. Waking up inside a potential death-trap is frightening and is a concept used in the "Saw" series multiple times years later. Some of the traps are easily avoidable, as shown when one character slips out from being ensnared (and one unlucky guy gets taken out by the easiest trap to avoid), and others are extremely nasty (a whole room of giant spikes, anyone?). The Cube looks interesting, and the CG added to some of the scenes is simple but effective in showing the perilous traps in some of the rooms. Film buffs will notice that it's just one room being shot time and time again, but it feels like the characters are traveling throughout this larger place, so the effect worked on me.

The characters got very annoying very quickly, and by the halfway point through the movie, I wanted them all to die, except for the student in the film, who was the only one not whining or being a complete jerk to any of the others. The actors were OK, but the believability of some of them were spotty, especially the actor who portrayed Quentin who has some severe mood changes that come out of nowhere and requires a pretty good actor to ebb and flow with these changes in subtle ways instead of ham-fisted deliveries and heartless, murderous changes in mood as he had. By the end, you feel somewhat happy for those who made it, but mostly, I was disappointed.

The music was sparse, and the one main song that played during lulls in the story was a simple, "Friday the 13th"-ripoff, horror song using echoing voices, a screeching sample, and a few synth plunks making for an abstract and forgettable song. The sound effects, however, were very satisfying and were required to show the heaviness of the doors and the sharp, dangerous quality of the traps.

After viewing this, the logic behind the story doesn't work for me. There are supposed to be 17,576 rooms in this Cube, so how did they all just happen to meet each other after the first day being there? I hated that everyone in the party blindly followed the math student from room to room like she knew what she was doing after seeing numbers on the doors for about 2 minutes. She basically quoted something out of a calculus book to confuse the audience into saying "Sure, fine, whatever. Follow her." Oh, and NOTHING IS ANSWERED by the end. Where is the Cube? Who or what is it made by? Why are these people selected to be here? If it were made by blind-architects who didn't care about humans being harmed in various rooms, are they the creators of it with only one guy creating the shell that wasn't related to the rest of the architect- crew?

It's a confusing watch for those who care about the story. If you watch it for sci-fi elements alone and the concept of the Cube, you'll get into it on suspense and design alone, but otherwise, there are a lot of unanswered questions that leave you wanting to understand more. Maybe answer why these individuals were selected, much like the victims in "Saw" are selected. I probably won't get around to watching this again anytime soon. Disappointed.

The Brain That Wouldn't Die (1962)

Equally humorous and unsettling, you'll feel her power!

[5/10 · 11 March 2013]

I've seen a lot of bad films, and "The Brain that Wouldn't Die" would not be in that list. Some see the movie as pure schlock and camp, and some see it as creepy. The idea of watching a head talk on its own without a body can be a strange thing to watch, but when you start to think about the logic behind it, the head wouldn't be talking without a voice box attached to it or lungs to force air over it, making speech audible.

The film accomplishes the story it sets up: if you mess with people's bodies using experimental methods, you have to be prepared when they turn against you. For years, I thought the movie ended differently, and I totally forgot about "others" that were "experiments" in the laboratory. It was actually shocking how much of a chauvinistic pig and jerk the mad scientist, Dr. Bill Cortner, was. (The actor who portrays him does such a bad job at pretending he's hurt, BTW, when he's involved in his accident.)

There are humorous moments in a few parts which make you wonder what the director wanted to make of these scenes, like when two strippers are fighting after meeting the mad doctor (both having an attraction for him), and as they fight, the camera zooms in on two paintings of cats as a "meow" is heard (to mark the scene as a "catfight"). Also the audio- dubbing of laughter to the shots of the head (Jan in the Pan) laughing was ridiculous and unbelievable. The music was standard small orchestra 60's music heard in everything during that era.

Overall, I had a decent time watching this. It's been featured in a memorable episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000, and it continues to be a cult film worth checking out. It will make you laugh and get uneasy at times, but it's bound to leave some lasting memories of the movie with you for years to come. 5 stars.

Zabriskie Point (1970)

Overrated, but that's why it's a CULT classic

[3/10 · 20 February 2013]

Call it question in taste (mine or others) or perhaps a message lost over time, but I thought the movie was incredibly boring and biased beyond belief. And I love that Pink Floyd performed original music for the film, but I didn't appreciate the music that they came up with, either. Some of the music sounded like broken guitars trying to remember what melodies were.

There was a plot...a thin one...in the style of a movie like "The Trip" but with less drug-taking. It was almost like a late-60's version of the future movie "Natural Born Killers" but less gritty and fantastic. The hours of footage of just driving around in the desert or through the city must have taken an entire year to edit down into a movie.

I get it...city and development bustle & The Man VS ideals set up by cavemen (insert hippies or radicals if you feel inclined). There is no growth in our protagonist or this woman he meets, Daria. Speaking of Daria, she's so easily brainwashed by the first radical she meets, and has the most obvious of fantasies about her boss' development in the desert. I'm sure Antonioni wanted cheers to happen in the theaters, but all I had were deep laughs from the bewilderment that this movie was causing within me.

It belongs in the archives for people who enjoy political-striking nostalgia of the late-60's and there are a few good tunes from well- known groups on the soundtrack, but it isn't for everyone.

Butter (I) (2011)

Touching comedy with a weird premise

[5/10 · 12 February 2013]

This movie has gotten a lot of praise on various websites I go to, so I had to check it out. I wasn't entirely dissatisfied with the movie altogether, but I do feel it could have used less quirky ways of telling a simple story. I enjoyed all of the actors/comedians' personas, and the heartwarming element that Yara Shahidi brings to the screen is perfect in her performance. And Alicia Silverstone is back on screen (who would have thought). The whole small-town competition element feels lifted from a Christopher Guest movie, and I felt like there were performances and accents that came close to those used in "Drop Dead Gorgeous" or "Little Miss Sunshine." Nevertheless, it has good qualities that make this movie a good viewing if you want a light-hearted movie to get you through an afternoon, but don't expect to get blown away.

Movie 43 (2013)

Go watch a comedy-video website instead

[2/10 · 8 February 2013]

'Movie 43' is a string of slightly humorous vignettes starring mostly familiar actors from other movies. It reminded me of 'The Kentucky Fried Movie' back in '77. This film feels like an experiment gone wrong, though, and I more than likely will never see any of it ever again. It's a black comedy, but it shoves the gross-out humor to a level where it starts to be very unfunny and particularly mundane and monotonous. There were a few moments of redemption for the audience, but for the most part, it was just awful.

To start off, the movie is patchworked into 14 separate segments (not really even short stories) written by relatively unknown writers and a handful of familiar directors. Peter Farrelly is probably the most well-known of the directors, and his trademark physical-makeup work is prevalent in the opening scene with Hugh Jackman and Kate Winslet. I like Bob Odenkirk's as an actor and comedian, but I didn't see any comedy in his directing of his segments with the kids looking for the most banned film in the world. Also actress Elizabeth Banks directed the "Middleschool Date" segment, which tries to invoke the comedy behind getting your first period but turns into a confusing car-wreck by the end. I think if they stuck to one or two directors for the whole project, it might've made more sense to have the same vision throughout.

The music and camera-work was typical comedic fare, except for (in my opinion, the funniest segment, which was) "Machine Kids," which was shot like a serious PSA in black and white with kids put in disparaging situations, which made me laugh at how sad and screwed-up it was. That segment was an excellent example of how black comedy is supposed to be made. So other than that segment, Halle Berry's "Truth Or Dare" segment (really good), and the look on the face of the Riddler during the "Superhero Speed Dating" segment, the movie is lacking in any real laughs.

'Movie 43' is still better than most of these spoof movies being written by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer ('Date Movie,' 'Meet the Spartans,' 'Disaster Movie'), but it's not worth your time away from sites like FunnyOrDie(dot)com to go see in a theater...or even on DVD. It was made for the comedy historybooks, not for human consumption.

The Room (2003)

An awkward cult movie intended for comedic viewings instead of dramatic

[3/10 · 3 February 2013]

"The Room" is a modern cult classic for an audience who enjoys a good laugh from seeing a lackluster indie-film with numerous errors or quirks about it. Think "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" audience without the garish makeup, dancing or singing. The writer/director/actor Tommy Wiseau would take the praise either way about the film.

Essentially, the film is about love and betrayal, why attraction is more important to some than stability. Lisa (played by Juliette Danielle) is having second thoughts about marrying Johnny (played by the aforementioned Wiseau) and chooses to make a rash decision behind his back which affects a number of their friends and family. It's a simple plot, and the simple production makes you feel like you're watching a play or an after-school special about being truthful (if it wasn't for the nudity, it would be). The movie's original music was a nice addition, and it even had a theme made for the movie, which you hear at the beginning and somewhere in the middle. The rest of the music was underground R&B and thrown into the film during one of the four sex scenes and the credits.

There are plenty of laugh-out-loud moments, mostly due to Wiseau's awkward delivery of his lines that he wrote and the painful delivery of most of the cast. Characters pop in and out of scenes at random and with strange motives, and some of Johnny's heartfelt emotional moments are cut short to say hi to his best friend, Mark. The chemistry between the cast makes them feel like strangers amongst one another, and some characters are downright goofy, making faces (Mike) and acting stupid and weird (Denny). There's even an entire scene that has no business in the movie (the drug dealer gone insane).

Overall, the movie is meant for college parties and midnight screeners as a goof, not a masterpiece theater. It won an award somehow for an Audience Award of the Best Feature Film in the New York Int'l Indie Film & Video Festival, and I have to imagine there were plenty of tongue-in- cheek voters on that panel. By a quick read of the trivia found on this site, it sounds like Wiseau really poured his money, heart and ideas out there, but what it produced was as savory as a Jell-o dessert.

S.F.W. (1994)

Disappointed that this isn't a Natural Born Killers re-imagining

[4/10 · 2 February 2013]

Well what can I say about this? It came out when I was still a teenager, and it had all of the elements of the 1990s that kids were getting into because, according to the majority of media outlets, we were the jaded generation that believed in nothing other than grunge music, being pains in the butt for adults, and rocking out without a care in the world. Every generation does this, but this was our version of "Steal This Movie." And while most of that attitude was true and around at the time, you can see how much the creative lines were blurred when you had movies like "S.F.W." coming out and trying to cash in on these trends. Wayne's World, Tank Girl, Beavis & Butthead, Slacker, Clerks, Mall Rats, Natural Born Killers, Drugstore Cowboy, Pump Up the Volume, Bill & Ted's, Singles, Reality Bites, Empire Records...hell, even Ferris Bueller's Day Off had its similar message in the 80s. So what's one more, right?

First off, the movie is ridiculous. The premise (without spoiling it) is thin, unbelievable, and needed a lot of retooling (if the whole screenplay was adapted from a book, and if it was, the book's probably not much better). Even more than "Singles," this movie tries to cram grunge music into every nook and cranny to remind you how street-level Reese Witherspoon and Stephen Dorff's character are (along with their friends), but then they make a weird, Disney-moment every time Dorff's character ("Cliff Spab"...AKA the worst name to be repeated EVER) reminisces about their friend. I'm not going to say what happens, but every time Spab contemplates what went down with his friend, music bussed in from the movie "E.T." gets played, and we're supposed to feel bad for some reason (why, i don't know because Spab wasn't all that close with him in the beginning of the movie or in other scenes either).

Secondly, the objective seemed to make sense, that the media and relatives try and cash in from those around them who become famous...but the message easily becomes turned around on the movie itself for cashing in on the attitudes of cynical youths who are biting the bait that this movie produces.

Third, it should stay a cult movie and nothing more. It's not Dazed & Confused, and it's not Natural Born Killers. The subjects of this movie became lucky in the film to be celebrities due to a minor news story that realistically would never had happened in real life, and if they would have, people wouldn't give the story more than a week of exposure after-the-fact. I liked the addition of the music to commemorate the times, but as a movie, there isn't a lot of groundbreaking material to lump it into a deeper category of film or re-release it on Criterion or anything.

If you're a fan of grunge music or slacker-movies that let you kill 1.5 hours while you're downing a 6-pack, this might be a fun watch once, but I don't think I'll be owning this.

Repulsion (1965)

Great lesser-known horror dealing with mental illness

[8/10 · 1 February 2013]

This movie is a must for film-lovers. It took me forever to come across it and finally commit to watching it at it's pace, but once I did, I found that it was made with a lot of care regarding the scenery, props, lighting, music, and acting. We've been exposed recently to movies that explore the evaporation of a woman's mental stability like "Black Swan" and "Girl, Interrupted," but after seeing this (after seeing M. Monroe in "Don't Bother To Knock," another fantastic film exposing mental breakdowns), I feel more like this movie tackles mental illness, women's empowerment, and the plight of elderly women trying to find a decent manicurist! (Only kidding.)

The music swells are in the right places, the practical effects during hallucinations are riveting, and the transitions from fresh to old, from light to dark, and from solid to cracked really expound on the experience that Carol (the protagonist) is living through. The jazz music as she walks from her job to her shared flat becomes more disjointed and frenetic, pumping rhythmic jaunts out the speakers instead of understandable, easy-listening music. Others have noted the symbology in the items throughout the movie having importance, as well. Catherine Deneuve gives a great performance as her life turns into a whirlpool of emotions, fears, and struggles with reality.

Other than its slow pace and drawn-out first ¾ of the film, I would recommend it highly if you're looking for a dramatic tale of psychosis in a jarring setting. Fans of "Pi," "Psycho," "Black Swan," or even "Carnival of Souls" should look into this film. You'll thank your "normal view of the world" after seeing this.

Excision (2012)

Get over her weirdness, get into the acting-chops and gritty bits

[8/10 · 9 January 2013]

Wow! So...hmmm...just saw it so I have to collect my thoughts as I watched it. (Sorry, I'm a bit shocked and trying to remember how I came about watching this in the first place).

First off, bravo to Annalynne McCord and Traci Lords for their acting in this movie. I never would have thought much of McCord after knowing her as being the blondie-vixen in the remake of the '90210' show if it wasn't for this, so good for her. Her character might as well have been the offspring of Napoleon Dynamite and a member of L7, after getting into her stash of zombie-face-makeup. The director, Richard Bates, Jr., must've seen this in her character, as well. I can almost hear the collective sigh of DVD-players all around shutting off after viewers may not get into her weirdo-delivery, though. Her delivery felt half-true and half-acted, at times, but it was enough for me to watch the entire film.

There is plenty of seemingly-tasteless material, which makes it seem as if Jon Waters wrote the movie, or maybe the director was a major fan of his because it seemed that scenes and dialogue were something that Waters would've dreamt up to see on screen at some time in his life. At least Bates Jr. had the conscience to put Lords and Waters in the movie together to reference Waters' material in a bit of homage, if nothing else. (I'm surprised a poster of Divine wasn't 'shopped into a picture frame on a wall somewhere in the movie.)

The music had a Mazzy Star-meets-Grrrl Rock vibe throughout, and the fantasy-moments in the movie had gritty experimental grinding guitars or something along those lines. The daydream-fantastical segments were brilliantly sequenced, even if they didn't completely mesh with her character, and the visual effects were interesting.

Some seem to think it's a bit of dark-comedy, and even the official website tries to crowbar their "instant cult classic" brand on the movie before the audience can make up it's mind about it. It's definitely horrific by the end, and if you use a movie like 'Happiness' or 'The Virgin Suicides' as a reference to this movie, you'd need to go past those by a step when it comes to its grittiness. I'm reminded of 'We Need To Talk About Kevin' as I type this, which is down the same teenage-weirdo-gets-stabby vein of horror movies this falls under, but there were light-hearted moments to her character, which makes her climax seem a little "much."

In closing, I'd say if you're into horror or just weirdo cult movies with a bit of gore without being stupid, check it out. I think highly of the film, but I don't think I'd sit through it too many times (because once you know the end, it sort of prepares you for the worst during a rewatch). Music was good, performances were good, camera-shots were great, and direction was on-point...you just have to accept the characters.

Heckler (2007)

To review or not to review?

[5/10 · 28 October 2012]

It's sort of weird to criticize a movie about criticism of the arts, such as this documentary, but the act of writing this review emphasizes our right to do so in a free society. My personal opinion about why criticism on the internet about movies and art became so popular is to either warn potential movie-goers or music fans about a particularly tasteless or unoriginal movie, actor, musician, or other artist…or to gain notoriety and fans of their reviews and taste, to be the one that others can turn to for the closest representation of their own feelings and taste.

In this documentary, comedian and actor Jamie Kennedy explores how criticism of his onstage, comedic works have transcended into an internet frenzy of opinions and reviews without censorship or, at times, deeper thought. He goes directly to the source of internet-hate and loathing for his works, calling out bloggers face-to-face who are trying to gain their own reputation for scathing, no-nonsense reviews. He explores old clips of comedians handling hecklers in creative and not- so-creative (and sometimes racist) ways, as well as interviews with other public figures such as dancers, musicians, and even sports stars.

I think Jamie did a great job by including such a broad stance on the arts and what criticism means to the artists involved. Ultimately, it's best to never Google yourself or remind yourself as an artist that even bad publicity is good publicity. As long as your name is out amongst other well-known names in any way, people will try and form an opinion about someone they keep hearing about, which means they will look you up on YouTube or somewhere else on the internet to find out what your art is really about.

But it's a natural reaction to dislike and try to convey your feelings about things you consumed and were not happy with to others. Jamie can never change this. If I bought a pair of $300 sneakers and found out afterwards how bad they made my feet feel, I'm going to review them and warn others, "Hey, don't buy these shoes. Here is my opinion…" That's what EVERYONE should be doing: tell other human beings how your experience was and make your voice heard. Comedians should work on a tighter set if they're getting blasted by randoms in the crowd night after night, never giving them a chance.

So in the end, I felt that this was more a movie about Jamie Kennedy's maturing process as an actor/comedian amongst other actor/comedians and how he deals with the inescapable criticisms he faces by choosing to act or perform a specific way. It happens to all of us in some way in our lives, but we learn to get over it, which I think he did by the end.

We Need to Talk About Kevin (2011)

Confusing parental guide on how NOT to raise children

[5/10 · 8 October 2012]

I'm conflicted with the score I gave this film. I enjoyed the quality of the shots and the acting throughout the film, yet I remain deeply confused about what triggered Kevin to become so unmanageable. Tilda Swinton fits into the awkwardness of the movie like glue, her character barely knowing how to breathe in some scenes. John C. Reilly felt a bit out of place, and I hardly recall what he did to support the family. I think tighter character development could've helped with that.

The focus of the movie wasn't on the characters of the movie, at all, though. The focus was on the disconnected communication between everybody. The film tries to sway you to understand the psychosis of a young boy turning into a teenage hell spawn with a weak explanation that "there is no point…that's the point." Lame, if this is the writers'/director's intent.

It was an upsetting watch, that's for sure. It felt like the older horror movies of the late 70's/early 80's, like an updated "Rosemary's Baby," "The Shining," or "The Omen." Some viewers don't like how it didn't explain itself clearly enough, though, which is what I agree with. We live in the age of "everything needs a rational, logical, scientific reason," so any omission of an answer from a film leaves some people (including myself) wanting more. Overall, though, it might intrigue those who are fine with films made for art-sake first.

Game: Life After the Math (2008)

Documentary feels more like a emotional promo for LAX, but it's good.

[8/10 · 14 September 2012]

I think this documentary came during a time in Game's life when he felt he had to get more vulnerable and genuine as he released his upcoming album "LAX," which was released just two weeks after this film came out. To emphasize this raw emotion shown in certain scenes in this documentary, he had to show himself being slightly more humbling and introverted during these interviews. It was a nice change to see the contrast from his character on his albums, a rough-and-ready gangster thug willing to die by the gun in the name of the blood-red rags he claims.

I felt the stories were interesting, but at times, they felt extremely one-sided, especially without interviews from other rap industry heads being interviewed about how Game affected the industry. There was only a small amount of talk of his athletic days, skirting past his expulsion from college. The stories of G-Unit and 50 Cent were all from his viewpoint, so there wasn't really anything to compare the situation to. And when Dr. Dre signed him, he was on camera talking about how Dre heard the first bar in a song and signed him right then and there. Is this the truth? Who's to say.

One-sided stories aside, though, I am a fan of his music and his character, both on and off-stage, and I respect him coming clean with some pretty hard-to-manage family tales and perspectives. Some have reviewed this documentary negatively on rap-oriented sites, criticizing the emotional moments of the interviews to try and sway the U.S. viewers. However, I had no issue with these moments, and I think fans will appreciate the man even more after watching this. It may be better categorized as a promo video rather than a documentary, though.

Birdemic: Shock and Terror (2010)

5 Stars for this hilarious cult movie

[5/10 · 14 September 2012]

I couldn't stop talking about this movie for at least an hour after seeing it with 6 of my friends. There's a quality that the movie has that made me laugh uproariously at how awkward the entire movie was. My friend and I were in tears, and we kept cheering for the actors throughout the movie.

That being said, the movie is notoriously bad. The special FX birds and gore were an afterthought, the sound was either muddled or rerecorded ADR in a studio with different actors, some of the shots went on for way too long, the direction of the actors was jarring and made the characters feel creepy towards each other, the plot is an abomination, and every step these characters take, you're screaming at them as the audience, "what are you doing?!" The main blonde actress has been interviewed about the film where she explained that the director would often run out of money and call them back to shoot scenes randomly.

I had a great time watching it, though. My 5-stars I'm giving this goes towards the quality of the experience watching the movie. It's not a good movie, but it's a great cult movie with a misguided, heartfelt message that only the director can understand. And that's fine. Lost Highway and El Topo were confusing to me, yet those movies remain cult classics. Maybe it's the fact we were watching a couple older John Waters films beforehand, but EVERYONE who has streaming video and is on the internet today in 2012 has had to have at least heard the legend this movie has behind it. I think it's worth upgrading the stars on the film to get more of a reputation for how insane this movie is instead of focussing on the lowered quality of the production.

I Love You... I am The Porn Queen (2013)

Musical promo disguised as a short student film

[4/10 · 4 September 2012]

I don't know whether I'm jaded by attending one too many goth clubs or what, but this girl and her problems are in every bar across California. I really didn't feel like Ani Kyd sold her story that well because her back story felt made-up and cliché for such a traumatizing experience. She's over-thinking the entire concept of love, and she doesn't seem like she would be in a porn at all, let alone be a "porn queen." Another problem I had was with Jello Biafra and why he was probably in this short film: to sell his new band and get acting credentials on this website. I understand why he was basically the same character in the movie for two roles, but he's the kind of face/personality that basically takes over any production with his larger-than-life persona, leaving all of the story and others characters to suffer. It's no longer a student film but rather "The Jello Biafra Show." The music was a bit heavy in almost every scene, feeling almost like someone with an iPod trying to force you to listen to everything on their personal playlist. I give the story some respect; I'm sure it happens in porn-stars lives that they have to deal with love in their own way. The indie nature of the film was admirable, too, and much respect should be shown to the crew and Nardwuar for filming a bit of behind-the-scenes on his YouTube channel for this film (or I would have never seen it). When it was over, though, I felt bombarded with this girl's emotional issues and feelings of confusion due to Jello's acting choices. It's worth a watch if you like Nardwuar, Jello Biafra, or the indie effort, but it's a tad below average in my opinion.

Ted (2012)

A talking bear, pot/fart jokes, and random pop culture. Meh.

[3/10 · 5 August 2012]

I just got back from seeing this movie. It was only OK. There's nothing mind-blowing about much of the movie other than the CG effects used to create the talking, ever-partying bear. The story is basically a mixture of the plots to "Toy Story 3," "You Me & Dupree," and "I Love You Man" but with a talking bear as the best friend. Why? Don't ask me. It doesn't really make sense, but it's touted as being a fantasy movie as much as it's a comedy as well.

I didn't like the idea that Ted was an aging being who slowly progresses into being a "bad boy" type as his human owner/friend ages alongside him. He just comes across as weak and a bad friend overall, in that regard. The whole being and backstory of Ted is ridiculous though, so you can't read too much into the character other than he sounds like Peter Griffin and has the personality of Quagmire.

I felt that Seth MacFarlane is the real person in this production who was looking for a friend, though. His never-ending compulsion to keep bringing up past pop culture references sounded like a cry for someone to understand what he thinks is funny. I get it…Tiffany on the TV, multiple obsessions with Flash Gordon/Sam Jones, a Knight Rider/Star Wars ringtone, Indiana Jones music, and on and on and on. He really is South Park's idea of what the Family Guy writers room is like: random thought bubbles mixed together and fed to the audience as humor. It's debatable that this is the truth because after a while I was like, "OK! I get it! Move on!" in my head. And there are tons of celebrities and cameos to digest throughout the film, as well. I don't know if it's Seth's idea of a power trip to include famous people he knows or what.

Joel McHale was probably the funniest part of the movie, which isn't saying a lot because they write the same fart jokes for him that they did for Mark Wahlberg. I just like his delivery a lot better than everyone else's.

If you're not picky about joke-writing or tropes that you've seen in movies 1000x over, Ted feels like a surreal romantic comedy. If pot jokes, multiple penis and fart jokes, or jokes involving animated creatures humping humans doesn't bore you, you just might like it. I thought it was all stuff I've seen before, though.

Christine (1983)

I never cared about classic cars until now!

[8/10 · 22 July 2012]

I was pleasantly surprised by this film. It's been out for years, a bunch of my friends have seen it many times over, but I just had to see it for myself. I thought it was great. The characters, the self- awareness of Christine, and the overall feel of terror that this town and group of people found themselves in with this jealous car "alive" and running amuck...it's the combination that makes a great horror movie. Hamburger-loving girlfriends beware! Christine plays no second fiddle!

First off, the music is so important to the character of Christine. Old 50's rock & roll drives this car along its path of destruction, and it is so clear why Stephen King based the era of its construction of the '58 Plymouth Fury in Detroit as their economic downturns were upon them… Christine was not a good spokes model for the car industry up there. Second, the special effects were phenomenal. The reversing crumpled fenders, the busted glass, the charred paint job that somehow found the perfect coat of the rarest color around 20 years after the car model originated…it's a fantasy and a nightmare combined into one.

You need to own this movie. It's a delight. The characters are fully fleshed out (my favorite was the mechanic-shop owner, Will Darnell played by Robert Prosky) and very unique. It's too bad Arnie's parents were complete control freaks; they got the hardest job of trying to come between the car and its owner since the beginning. It really shows what car possession means. I would run out and purchase it on Blu Ray (if it becomes available), but until then, DVD will do.

Cujo (1983)

Possibly the best Ford Pinto ad ever

[5/10 · 22 July 2012]

I've never wanted a dog to die so badly in a movie. It's not his fault, but it was some horrific acting by the (usually) lovable St. Bernard breed. The acting in the film was superb and perfect for the insanity caused by being trapped by an insane dog. I stopped myself from seeing this for years because…it's a dog film, about dog things and other possible non-interesting things. The relationship between mother and son especially was something that I never knew about, though, and it made the film a little more worth seeing than just a film about a crazy canine. And it's got the boy from "Who's the Boss!" What's not to love! I felt the marriage story was thrown in just to heighten the emotions of the story, but I don't know how badly it needed to be here. Just look at movies like "Kill Bill" where the female lead can hold her own while caring for her young. The music was pretty generic, symphonic filler, to me.

If anything, I felt the story should've been more interesting and possibly tied in a relationship to the dog in some way. The disjointed fear of monsters is fine, but the translation from the book version to the film version screwed up the tie with this fear and actuality for the boy. I think the book version would have made this fear more weighted.

It was a fine movie, but I wouldn't put it up there with "movies I should own." It still feels like a creature-feature but without the backstory to make any sense of connection to this random dog. Watch it once and decide for yourself.

Pet Sematary (1989)

You want to watch out for that road after you watch out for this movie

[7/10 · 21 July 2012]

After a movie night with my best buds and this movie, I was reminded of what Stephen King is best at: slow, creeping, unpredictable characters and motives. I had seen bits and pieces of the movie before, but I never really became engaged in it, possibly because of it's supposedly obvious plot. However, the pieces of the story that freaked out a number of my friends were nothing they could have guessed. Case in point: Zelda, Gage, and Pascow. Wow. This freaked them out entirely, to the point of one of my friends admitting that Zelda screwed up his childhood dreams for many years when he was taken to the film as a child.

The music was not your typical brooding, synthesizer-pad, horror movie score all the way either, with The Ramones writing a punk rock song for the film and having another of their hits jamming in the truck-driver's cab. The cat they got to play as "Church" (the family cat) was an amazing animal-actor (I guess you could say), and the effect they used on the eyes was really cool.

The plot is almost half-given away by the cover art and title, so I'm trying to leave out as much as possible, but it seems that the story was more about past guilt and trying to make amends with your guilty conscience by bringing things back, to save them and your guilt. It's an excellent thought, but as Fred Gwynne puts it, "Sometimes dead is better."

Go rent it the next time you feel like a horror movie and see a nice twist on the zombie/ghost genre. It's a classic.

Pet Sematary II (1992)

Woo! The 90's! This Pet Sematary is so radical! What's wrong, Hollywood kid?

[5/10 · 21 July 2012]

In an attempt to revive the classic original, Pet Sematary II throws a 90's twist on the horror movie by pumping the movie full of alternative rock music, more fire, more action, and more zany characters than the last. It's not all bad, but most of the characterizations and logic is thrown out the window.

Again, like the first movie, the animal effects are top-notch, and the animal-actors are great (electrocution effects, playing dead, snarling… love it). Eddie Furlong (Edward, please) makes his rounds as the actor who isn't quite Leonardo DeCaprio but awkwardly fills the shoes of a 90's, kind-hearted son of a celebrity who is bullied and tortured and seeks revenge against the kids at his school. I can't slight him too terribly, but his acting was still not that great. The fat kid whose dog (named Zowie...???) is featured in place of the lovable hairball Church, and I thought the dog was more believable than the kid. His stepfather (I believe), who is also a town sheriff, plays an amazing, Bruce Campbell, crazy role after half of the movie is through. I won't give away too much but the ending is more suited towards a happy ending than a sad one like the last one had.

I probably would not watch it again, but it had its moments that kept me wanting to find out more of what's going to happen. It's safe to say that you should watch it if you've seen the first one.