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colinmac2425
Reviews
If Only (2004)
Sickly Sweet Claptrap
When you get an orchestral and operatic performance suddenly transform itself into X-factor with J.L. Hewitt, you know things are going down hill rapidly. The film begins with an opening sequence, that suddenly reminded me of Sliding Doors, which to an extent this film resembled. Sliding Doors had events occurring differently, with a slight time shift of a couple of minutes or so. If Only reiterates the same events of the previous day, with variations - a little like Groundhog Day, but with only one extra day. At one point, they seem to travel to Northern England or Scotland, climb a mountain, make love in a stone cabin and make it back plenty in time for a 7pm recital. Then again, time doesn't appear to have much of a say in the film, seeing as Nicholls manages to transform himself from a self-centred bastard to boyfriend of the year in a day, with just the odd shake of his head towards the impossibility of the temporal manoeuvrings. With the lame attempts at humour, the annoying cute smiles by Hewitt and the overacting by Nicholls, it's no wonder the taxi-driver drove out into traffic the second time around. Avoid like a car crash.
Setup (2011)
Irritating Drivel
I'll start with the music. Every scene begins with a crescendo of dynamic orchestral brilliance, even when the main character is just getting out of a car. There is no need for that. He is just getting out of a car. This continues throughout the film. No matter what happens, there is some brooding, emotional violin accompanying the cast. As for the writing, the dialogue was absolutely atrocious. There was never a moment where you actually felt anything but nothing for the characters in this film. I've seen bad films before, but this million dollar juggernaut of dismal plop has the tax-payers moving along the dole lines, wondering why they can't feed their kids, whilst others can happily spend their money on some tripe. There are starving people in the world that would gladly stay hungry, if you would stop making these rubbish films. Yours sincerely, Some bloke from Ireland