ekeby Reviews

Departure (III) (2015)

Departure: Leaving the Picture

[6/10 · 17 January 2024]

Throughout the film people walk out of the frame. The characters depart the scene, or action, or interaction. They continually depart from personal and emotional interactions with each other.

These repeated bits of business make for an interesting filmic concept. I'm not sure they necessarily make for an interesting film. The film might have been just as well called "Avoidance" because that's what's happening eighty percent of the time. In fact, it makes a somewhat dull film.

The sexual tension between the son, Elliot, and the French boy, Clement is what really makes the film tolerable, particularly for us Gay guys. In truth the film only really comes alive when Phénix Brossard (Clement) is on the screen. He radiates hormonal maleness; it's hard to take your eyes off him. The rest of the time it's mostly mother and son tolerating each other. Politely, for the most part. They have a bad case of First World problems that doesn't make them particularly sympathetic.

I want to like this movie, but I can't. I can't really criticize it either... what it's doing, it's doing well. Although when it fails-as it does in the fantasy sequences-I found it cringe making. But other than those few scenes, the movie is delivering its message on point. It's just that the message isn't all that interesting.

A Little Night Music (1977)

Imagine it without the music... and it's good!

[7/10 · 29 November 2021]

I've seen innumerable productions of this musical, but somehow I was unaware of this film until just now. I came here to read reviews, most of which-as I predicted-were only to eager to blame The Big Movie Star for all the problems.

IMO, Elizabeth Taylor brought something quite original to the role and her performance deserves applause. I found her rendition of Send In The Clowns incredibly moving. For those that complained she "spoke" the lyrics, well, I can only say I wish some of the other songs had been spoken as well.

Frankly, I think the music just gets in the way of this film. Imagine if it had been played as a non-musical comedy. It would have worked fine, and in fact, probably improved without the constraint of musical actors. I understand perfectly what it is meant to be, I just think if you segregate the music from the story you get some insight into the quality of the movie. Which is pretty good when viewed from the perspective of 2021. It looks practically masterful compared to some of the musical films of more recent vintage.

Cherry Magic! Thirty Years of Virginity Can Make You a Wizard?! (2020)

Sweet and Charming and Clever

[10/10 · 28 October 2020]

At this writing only three episodes have been released, but it's enough to see the quality of the production. It almost feels like a film, especially if you are used to Thai or Pinoy etc, BL series. This just feels more - well I want to say professional but that's not quite right-accomplished and thoughtful. From acting to cinematography to editing.

It feels substantial, even though the plot is fantasy. The office / workaday setting somehow gives the series more gravitas than most BL fantasies. The characters seem real and genuine and we cannot help being drawn in emotionally.

I realize It's a little irresponsible to write a review based on just three episodes of a 12 episode series. And I'll revisit this when the series finishes. But frankly, I couldn't wait to share my enthusiasm.

Side note: it's not clear to me whether there is an official version with English subtitles. I've seen two differently translated versions of the same episode, and there was considerable difference between them. One was more succinct, the other more fleshed out. In BL land, it's kind of the wild west when it comes to bootlegged copies and subtitles. I hope that an official version becomes widely available soon.

Loev (2015)

Ambitious, modern, and a little bewildering

[6/10 · 18 October 2020]

I had to come to Imdb to understand exactly what I watched. I saw three people in relationships but could not quite get a grasp of exactly who meant what to whom.

Now, that is not necessarily a bad thing. Often ambiguity adds another layer of meaning to a film. And I think that was the intent of thIs film. In this case, the relationship of the two friends-one in Mumbai an a short visit from New York-had a lot of backstory that we keep thinking is going to be revealed. We get fragments of information about each character, but they're random and incidental. There is nothing particularly defining about their status or in fact the purpose of their visit. We're given explanations of sorts, but they seem inadequate given the scope of the story we're being told.

I have mixed feelings about this film. The relationships of men who love one another feel modern and authentic. Motivation for the behavior of the characters is less clear, and that lack of clarity leaves me somewhat unsatisfied. I'm okay with filling in the blanks in films like this because sometimes what is unsaid can be more powerful than spelling things out precisely. In this case, I think we needed just a bit more.

Other reviews raise red flags over the sexual violence in the film. They seem to object to its inclusion, as if by depicting it, and the characters' reaction to it, social responsibility has been breached. I think that's naive. This kind of thing happens, and some people react to it the same way the characters do here. We don't like it, we don't like seeing it, but trying to wish it away doesn't help anybody. It is a major plot point and omitting it would have left even bigger holes in the story.

I don't regret watching this film, but I don't think I would recommend it. There are other gay themed films out there that cover this territory much better. However, if you're Indian and eager to see something modern about gay life set in India, you may we'll find it compelling.

Kiss of the Rabbit God (2019)

great visuals, production, mysterious story

[8/10 · 10 October 2020]

Short films rarely leave me feeling satisfied. I'm not sure this one did either, but not because I felt it was inferior. In fact, as soon as I finished it I was so impressed I watched it again.

The title refers to a Chinese myth (Qing dynasty) that tells the origins of the Rabbit God. It is set in the mind, presumably, of a guy (Matt) who works in a Chinese restaurant, a young man who is leading a decidedly unglamorous life. At some point a customer comes in and introduces himself as Shen. He is an interesting guy with a distinctive look. Glances and a little dialog are exchanged. Later, as the restaurant is being closed for the night, Shen appears outside. Matt invites him in for a hookup.

Simple, right? Nope. Shen might be an incarnation of the Rabbit God. He will change Matt's life. How that is done is open to interpretation. I am not quite sure how I interpret it but I'm also not sure that it matters.

This story is told with a lot of style and mystery. It's very filmic and uses the medium fully to reveal the tale. The film itself mixes exoticism with the ordinary. The effect is memorable.

This is a film worth seeing. And then seeing again. As with the cliche of a Chinese meal, after you finish it you will want more.

Until We Meet Again (2019–2020)

Reincarnation Can Be Problematic

[8/10 · 3 August 2020]

This series has to be reviewed in the context of the BL genre, specifically those made in Thailand. So, compared to other Thai series, this one stands out from the rest by a mile. And it's as good as anything you'll ever see from Korea, Japan, or China. The high concept and great production values put this series almost in a category of its own.

This plot is actually kind of ingenious and the way it's told through the editing of two separate but connected stories is absolutely first rate. The actors are all well suited to their roles, and are skilled performers. The two leads do an exceptionally good job. I don't recall ever seeing actors produce tears on cue as often and as convincingly as is done here.

Be warned... although the ending is satisfying, as they used to say of the 1940s movie genre called Women's Weepies, this is a five handkerchief series. If you are not moved to tears episode after episode, well, you're a better man than I, Gunga Din.

For lovers of the BL genre, this is unquestionably one of the best out there. For those unfamiliar with the genre, have patience, and stick with it. There is payoff after payoff as the plot unfolds. And, it has one of the sweetest, most satisfying, and longest first kiss sequences I've seen. You know, we wait and wait for these kiss scenes, so it doesn't take much to satisfy us. We have learned to take what we can get. Here we get one that is really, really worth waiting for!

The Man Who Understood Women (1959)

Well, some of the dialog is okay

[2/10 · 17 May 2020]

But that's about it. It's the reason I came here, to see who wrote the script. The tone of the dialog sounded vaguely familiar. I wouldn't be surprised to learn that there were other unnamed doctors who tried to breathe life into this script. I also began to wonder if this was some cockamamie remake of A Star Is Born. It isn't, not that I think it would be better if that had been the case.

I'm also somewhat gratified to see that I'm not the only person who never saw the appeal of Leslie Caron. She's always just Leslie Caron; it doesn't matter what the role is.

My fellow reviewers are right. Don't bother with this. It's a European production/film trying to be American, and as a consequence, it's neither one nor the other. It's a disaster of a hybrid.

No Regret (2006)

Resisting and Then Giving In to Love

[9/10 · 16 February 2020]

The one negative review here (at this writing) says a lot more about the reviewer than it does the movie. Someone who complains about the lack of nudity in this film was looking for something completely different. The art of this superb film flew directly over his head.

This story of obsessive love and desire between two guys who are at opposite ends of the economic and social scale is haunting and beautiful. I watched it. I thought about it for an hour or so. Then I had to watch it again to make sure the film was as good as it seemed.

It is. This story is completely unpredictable. It's kind of amazing that you're pretty sure you know where the story is headed, and then it takes a turn that knocks the wind out of you.

This is a first rate production--acting, script, cinematography, everything. I think this is going to bump something off my top ten gay-themed film list. But I will watch again to make sure. That's how watchable it is.

For me, this film depicts a time and place and circumstances that I am more than willing to get lost in.

Happy Endings Sleepover (2019)

Saying it's true doesn't automatically make it FEEL true

[3/10 · 14 November 2019]

This is a Danish/American film. It's an American production, set in Denmark, with English and Danish dialog. The actor playing Sandor is a "Danish rap artist." (I SO want to go on a rant here about cultural appropriation, but I won't.) The actor playing CIA agent Johnnie is probably Dutch. Hard to tell, but I'm going by his name.The film explains away his "funny" accent by saying he grew up with his missionary parents on Curacao. Not buying it.

And I doubt very much that an American audience would be convinced the CIA agent is American either. He's obviously European, so the film has an aura of inauthenticity right from the get go. The screenwriter adapted the script from his own novel--one based on true events in his life. That's the second problem. An impartial screenwriter would have likely trimmed away a lot that the novelist/screenwriter probably considered essential, but which actually isn't.

This film fails, partly because of its storytelling technique, and partly because of casting. We're told in the beginning that this is based on a true story, but saying so doesn't give this film any street cred. The other reviewer here suggests it's satirical and that's why parts of it are funny. I think parts of it are so bad they're funny.

I can see that this could have been a good movie; it's certainly ambitious. But that would have required a different screenwriter, director, and cast.

Retake (2016)

Vertigo on a dark road trip

[8/10 · 7 August 2019]

This is a good movie, one that holds your interest with some kink and a lot of tension.

We never quite know exactly what Jonathon is up to when he hires Brandon. Brandon tells us what he wants and what he intends to do, but we're not exactly sure just how dark his kinkiness will go. Neither is Brandon, which is a sensible of him, IMO, and which only adds to the puzzle.

Essentially Retake features a Vertigo-like make-over, though this one is gay and a little more downtown. Like Vertigo, the principal characters seem to be developing an affection for one another, though we're not exactly sure what's genuine and what isn't.

All this uncertainty and kinkiness adds up to a picture that has you traveling down the highway to who-knows-where. You just aren't sure of the final destination until it gets there, and that's a very good thing.

Well-written, well-crafted, and worth seeing.

A.C.O.D. (2013)

Seriously underrated and overlooked movie

[7/10 · 7 March 2019]

A nice to surprise to find this. Well-crafted, a really original story (worth points just for that), with one of the best casts you could ask for.

I'll watch anything with Catherine O'Hara. I could say the same thing about Amy Poehler, or Adam Scott. Or Jane Lynch. And here they are, all in the same picture, along with the always, always reliable Richard Jenkins.

I'm also surprised to find how polarizing this movie is. People seem to ether hate it or love it. I can't quite understand the haters, except that maybe they wanted something more obvious. I wouldn't call this movie subtle, but it's perhaps a little too worldly and knowing for some. Not for me. I loved it.

The Poet and the Boy (2017)

Peeling the onion

[8/10 · 23 February 2019]

I say that because that's what this story feels like, thin layers being stripped away ever so slowly. This is a film that reveals more depth about its characters as it slowly makes its way.

The poet begins as almost a caricature, though the words he writes are lovely and insightful, he seems lacking in self awareness. This is a character who strikes us as simple and a tad comedic. Eventually we get to see him evolve into someone altogether different. Actually all three central characters undergo transformation. It is not so much that they change as much as it is that we get to see more of what they actually are about by the way they react to their situation.

I want to pigeonhole this as a gay movie mostly because it is so very good. But I can only do that by adding the caveat that nothing gay happens. The poet has feelings for a young man, and he believes that they are feelings of love. I am not so sure. Is he in love with the boy, or in love with all the boy represents? Which would include a litany of diverse elements: beauty, youth, dependency, tragedy, unreflectiveness, rage, etc. it's a long list.

This is a beautifully crafted piece of work. It's multidimensional and well worth the journey. That being said, it won't be for everyone. One wishes the distinction didn't have to be made, but it will be helpful for some to know this not a movie, it's a film.

Best Day Ever (II) (2014)

It's a Talky

[2/10 · 21 September 2018]

One of those movies where people talk, they don't DO.

At one point a character says it's the happiest day of his life. We only know this because he says it. We certainly don't see him being happy.

There are five characters, sitting in various rooms, talking to each other about LIFE problems. At one point a couple is sitting on a porch. That's as far outside this movie ever goes. Consequently this is a movie about people talking about living, not a movie about the characters actual lives.

This kind of construction only works if the plot is terrific and the dialog is ultra sharp and witty, rife with multiple meanings. The dialog in this movie is exactly the opposite. Flat, boring, uninteresting. You would think a writer who creates a an indy filmmaker character might be able to show us something interesting about filmmaking. Nope. Nada. Nichts. Nothing.

I don't know what kind of life experience a reviewer would need to think this is a 10-star movie. Maybe a small child, or someone living in an iron lung?

Absolute complete waste of time.

Love or Whatever (2012)

The difference between this and a straight romantic comedy....

[5/10 · 16 September 2018]

Is probably ten or twenty million dollars. Meaning, better production values, better direction, script doctors, etc.

Rom coms are one tough genre for gay folk, evidently. There aren't many that succeed. This one doesn't either, but I can see how the script--which is pretty innocuous--almost makes it over the finish line. There are at least a couple of sharp lines in the movie, all delivered by the hardworking Jennifer Elise Cox.

I've come to the conclusion that it's a matter of money. There are plenty of straight rom coms that are much more watchable than this movie, but they aren't really any better. Throw a lot of money at a mediocre script and at least it's viewable. Is it really that simple?

This premise could have been sharp and original. But the writer and the director went for the obvious to make up for what the script lacked. And the result is overwrought and overacted and unnecessarily frantic. Too bad. It could have been good.

Ultra Bleu (2016)

Really good

[8/10 · 27 August 2018]

Short film must be an especially difficult format, I've seen very few gay-themed that truly resonate. This one does.

It's a three act play delivered in less than 20 minutes. We get to see quite a story arc for the lead character. The pacing is just right, and the story is original and real. There is no hyperbole or gooey romanticism here.

For American viewers this English language film offers an exotic locale and characters we would love to know more about. This movie says a whole lot about modern gay life in a compact and uncluttered way. It's visually interesting and well crafted.

Very worthwhile and one of the best gay-themed shorts I've seen.

Alex Strangelove (2018)

A better white bread

[7/10 · 20 August 2018]

I say that because it's unavoidable: this is white bread bland. But it's done fairly well for what it is.

It's honest and upfront about what we should expect: the main character talks to us, comments on his life, where it's going etc.

People are right to say this is like modern John Hughes movie. Which, I hasten to add, were pretty much considered s**t when they came out except for their target audience: pre-teens and young teens. This film is for that same demographic.

So I get why some people are really unhappy with it. No, of course it's not realistic. It's entertainment. And some of the entertainment is good, if stereotypical.

If you been observing gay cinema as it evolved post-Stonewall--as I have and yes, I'm that old-you're more likely to give this a pass because IT IS equivalent to a John Hughes movie. Which, I will say again, adults considered s**t at the time. I think these serve the same purpose for the gay community as Hughes' movies did for straight kids in the '80s. Why shouldn't our kids get white bread formulaic rom coms too?

We should. This is one, and for what it is, it's fine.

New Wave (2008 TV Movie)

Familiar Territory

[6/10 · 12 August 2018]

From director Gael Morel, this story and its characters seem to have been reborn from his previous works, albeit in slightly different incarnations.

Two schoolboys form a friendship, one that overlaps traditional boundaries. One boy is a leader, the other a follower. One boy is determinably unconventional, from a middle class family, The other is traditional because he has seen nothing other than the life of a poor rural farm family.

The brother of one boy has joined the army, and Morel and (his favorite actor) Stephane Rideau show up playing teachers (literature and gym, respectively). Their appearance, and the setting and theme of the movie evokes other Morel films. In a sense, it leans on Morel's oeuvre for support. And it kind of needs it; this is definitely a minor work.

And as with most of Morel's films, there is a lot going on here, a lot of which is not completely spelled out. I don't think this is bad thing, but I liked these characters enough to have wanted to know more about them.

For me, Morel's work is always interesting, and always a cut above. I enjoyed this, though I can't honestly say how much was because of the film's quality or how much was because of the nostalgia Morel's work evokes for me.

{I saw this on YouTube in its original French with Spanish subtitles. I know enough of both languages to have understood what was going on, but I know I missed a lot. Unless you are fluent in either language, English speakers should look for it with English subtitles.}

Chasing Pavement (2015)

Uneven but original

[5/10 · 8 August 2018]

This held my interest, despite its many flaws. I found the storyline original and engaging, though the execution is sometimes both amateurish and pretentious. Often simultaneously.

The story did not go quite where I thought it would, so for that achievement alone it deserves some respect. The dialogue sometimes rings hollow (inauthentic) but it isn't predictable. It might not always be well written dialogue but it isn't trite.

More than one reviewer here has observed that the lead actor is too old and shopworn to play a character who promotes himself as young and desirable. I think that's unfair-real life hustlers often misrepresent themselves. We're talking about people working in an industry that lost its moral compass eons ago.

Yes, there are cringeworthy scenes. Yes, the acting will disappoint. We all know there are plenty of gay movies with similar defects. At least here there's the kernel of a profound theme. You might get glimpses of it if you can overlook the flaws.

Capital Games (2013)

Not just bad, it's inauthentic, and here's why

[2/10 · 22 July 2018]

I worked in advertising, so I'm used to seeing ad agencies on screen that have nothing to do with what that world is really like. And that's the case here.

But I also began to feel that nothing about these characters seemed real either. And that wasn't just because of the atrocious acting (particularly from supporting characters). So I looked at the other reviews here and see a couple extolling this as a good version of the G. A. Hauser book. Never heard of G.A. Hauser, so looked "him" up.

It's not a him. It's a her. She's written over 120 gay (M/M) romance novels/stories. Now, I'm not saying women can't write about gay men. Some of the best novels of our world were written by women (Highsmith, Renault, Yourcenar). But those were literary works, not romance books--the kind that the French describe as "a book to read with one hand."

So. This is a cartoon story that doesn't really have anything to do with how gay life really works. This is somebody's fantasy of what gay life might be like with a couple of stereotypical hunky guys as the primary characters.

This is garbage. Story and production. Every aspect.

However. If you're gay and you found this entertaining, well, I'm guessing you don't have a lot of experience in a gay community and that most of your knowledge of gay life is from secondary sources.

That's okay, especially if you're young, or inexperienced, or closeted, or living in the boondocks. Just please don't think that there is anything real or authentic about what is presented in this movie. It's more like fanfic or Yaoi. If you can enjoy it on that level, fine. But for gay men looking for something authentic, you won't find it here.

Party Girl (1995)

Fun Fluff, Original Characters, Sharp Dialog

[8/10 · 16 April 2018]

I just watched the new Lost in Space series on Netflix and was reminded how great Parker Posey can be. I decided to look for Party Girl and found it lurking on YouTube.

Hadn't seen it in many years, but it holds up. I have to say, when I first saw it many, many years ago, I thought there were parts of it that were weak. But none of that bothered me this time, because compared to a lot of stuff made today, this film is jam-packed with action, it's got interesting visuals, and original characters.

There aren't many actors who can toss off a line like "I'd like a powerful mind-altering substance please. Preferably one that will give my unborn children gills." But Posey does this was ease. In fact her performance looks effortless and I'm very sure it wasn't.

A bonus is the soundtrack. I bought it and blasted it in the car for years.

I can understand how some people wouldn't like this movie. Particularly if they've never lived in a big city or been into the club scene. It might all seem alien and artificial. Trust me, it's not. It's pretty true to life.

Give this movie a chance. Especially if you're young and feeling like an outsider. Or if you're gay. The last line in the movie sums it all up. 'Life is a garden, and we are all flowers."

You & I (2014)

Interesting to Fill in the Blanks

[7/10 · 16 February 2018]

I've read the other reviews here and am amused but not surprised at some of the descriptions. Some reviewers see motivation and action and inaction where others have quite different explanations of what's happened.

I find that to be perfectly understandable. Nothing is spelled out precisely for us in this film. There's an ambiguity to the characters' relationships that could easily cause different people to form different opinions about what happened. It's purposeful, and an interesting concept.

Two old friends (one gay, one straight) go on a camping trip and are having a rollicking good time. Then they pick up hitchhiker. You kind of wonder when the hitchhiker is going to turn out to be an ax murderer. Especially after the gay guy asks if his being gay is a problem for the hitchhiker.

It isn't.

This is a slender film that at first glance doesn't seem to add up to much. However, there is dynamic tension throughout the latter part of the film for reasons we're not quite sure we understand. The relationships are purposely somewhat vague and ill-defined, something I found to be an insightful take on modern relationships, especially gay relationships.

My initial reaction to the end of this film was WTF? On reflection, I get it. I liked this movie. It's deceptively simple-looking but there isn't anything simple about it. You know, like life.

Before the Fall (I) (2016)

Pride Goeth Before the Fall

[7/10 · 7 February 2018]

In case you were wondering how the title related to Pride and Prejudice, "Before the fall" is from Proverbs in the Bible. That should have been obvious to me, but I had to look it up. I knew the proverb, and I knew Pride and Prejudice, but I didn't make the connection.

That's because this reinterpretation has turned Jane Austen's characters upside down. D'Arcy and Bingley are poor, not rich, and (characters equivalent to) the Bennett sisters are concerned about marrying beneath their status rather than above.

That's clever, and one of the few reinterpretations of Pride & Prejudice that's not a poor imitation, it's completely different. Pride & Prejudice is a social satire, and a comedy of manners. This film, on the other hand, isn't funny. There is a little comic relief, but it's feeble and the film would have been better without it.

By no means is the dialog scintillating, and some plot devices are pretty weak (though probably no less contrived than Austen's). I personally was annoyed by the maudlin piano soundtrack in scenes where it was not only unnecessary, it was distracting.

There are additional flaws that one could complain about, but overall I found myself able to overlook them. There is a lot to admire here, and it easily drew me in. I'd say give it a chance, especially if you are a fan of Jane Austen.

Velvet Goldmine (1998)

An Operatic take on Glam Rock

[8/10 · 16 January 2018]

Todd Haynes puts Ewan McGregor and Jonathan Rhys Meyer in bed together nude. With eyeliner. What more do you need to know?

With a zillion reviews here, you already know what this is, and why people love or hate it. The scope of the film is epic, if not downright operatic. Gorgeous to look at, and fun to watch.

In a sea of showy performances, Toni Colette's gets overlooked. She does a remarkable job as the long-suffering but reasonably practical wife. Take note!

Dream Boat (2017)

bright lights not flattering

[6/10 · 8 December 2017]

It's hard to watch a bunch of guys in elaborate party drag walking down a narrow, brightly lit cruise ship's corridor underscored by a sad, Debussy-like piano soundtrack.

There is a lot of this almost clinical detachment about what is being observed. Enough so that activities--which were probably a lot of fun for most of the participants--look sad and lonely, not to mention surreal.

I have mixed feelings about this film. The detachment is the point of view. I think it masquerades as objective, but really, it's pretty judgmental. The slow-motion camera lingers on guys who are north of 60 decked out in feathers, or leather harnesses. You see every nook and cranny in their well-worn faces; any joy the guys are feeling gets scrubbed out. Is it fair? Sure. Does it tell a story? Yes. Is it interesting, and fun to watch? Not for me.

The film centers on five guys from Europe and the Middle East, so, points for that. But. One guy is in a wheelchair, and another lives in Dubai. One guy is Palestinian now living in Belgium. The film seems to suggest that their life challenges are equivalent, at least from the perspective of being gay and fitting into the gay community. So it's hard not to feel that the filmmakers see their queerness as yet another handicap.

If you're a Stonewall-era veteran like me, you may find this film pretty rough going. And for young gay guys--well, it might make them feel like voting Republican.

BoysTown (2008– )

Amateur Hours

[2/10 · 15 October 2017]

Hey guys! Let's make a series! How hard could it be?

Okay, full disclosure. I only watched the first episode. But even that was a struggle.

When it's a gay-themed production, I'll put up with a lot of amateurism if the story is good and the dialog is sharp. And I realize a series' first episode will mostly--and necessarily--be an introduction to the cast of characters and the story. But with this, the result for me was a swift realization that I don't want to know any more about these pretend people or their pretend problems. If I'm going to watch something like this, it has to have some truth to it at some level. Trust me, there is none to be found.

If you do not cringe at the performances or the dialog or the direction, well, bless your heart. And if you can refrain from judging a certain pair of eyebrows, well, you're a saint.

Think of HBO's series Looking. Then imagine an imitation version as bad as it could possibly be. Voilà.