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Robosharp
Reviews
Black Adam (2022)
Is this what cinema is now??
I got fifty minutes in and couldn't watch anymore. It was simply a waste of time. This was a generic CGI fest that moved at cartoon pace.
There have been so many of these type films in recent times, I've lost count. You would think that cinemagoers would call time on it but apparently not. The youth of today seem to lap this kinda crap up and therefore the movie companies will keep churning them out.
Please Hollywood, please, take a chance on something different. Something original, something with a story. A story that we get lost in, gripped by. Something that leaves you stuck in your seat at the end, too captivated to move. Remember those films? Feels like a long long time ago.
Black Adam is none of the above and quite frankly the contrary. Thought it might at least be funny having the Rock in it - it isn't.
The Office: Threat Level Midnight (2011)
Worst episode of the entire series.
I'm stunned this one has such positive reviews. There is so much wrong with this episode. My biggest gripe is how professionally 'Threat Level Midnight' is filmed. It's filmed with the same professalism as The Office it's self, like Michael hired NBC to film it. It should have been shoddy, hand cam stuff, which for me would have been a lot funnier.
My other gripe is how all his staff were so on board with the project. They pretty much reject all of Micheals plans in the previous 6 seasons, so I find it hard to believe they would all happily take part in his movie and ridiculous script.
The episode just doesn't fit in the dynamics of the show and for that reason, I think it is the worse one.
Better Call Saul: Breaking Bad (2022)
Great to see Walt and Jessie but...
It was a pretty pointless scene. Almost felt wasted. I've not got in to the last two episodes. These scam shenanigans that Saul/Gene are up to, bore me. Just feels to close to the end and they're kinda wasting value plot time in my book. So hope Saul meets up with Jessie in the present and things pick up, then this quality show along with its predecessor, can end in the truly great way it should.
Better Call Saul: Nippy (2022)
This episode just felt stale
One of the problems with catching up to Breaking Bad world present is that there are no characters left. Most are dead or have run off. This episode of BCS kinda cemented that. It just felt like such a come down from the thrilling last few episodes where most of our fav characters are still intact. If BCS now stays in the present (and black and white) these last few episodes might suck a tad. Unless they chuck in a couple of familiar faces to spice things up.
Better Call Saul: Plan and Execution (2022)
Would Lalo really do that?
I'm a big fan of BCS and Breaking Bad before that. I mostly enjoyed this episode - but would Lalo really just shoot Howard for no reason? I don't think so. He's supposed to be dangerous, but measured. The guys trying to lay low, the last thing he wants to be doing is murdering innocent civilians. His mission is to get Gus not to shoot random people. He didn't have to present himself to Jimmy and Kim whilst Howard was still there. It just didn't make sense to me.
It was a cool shock ending, but it did take credibility away from Lalo's character.
Mass (2021)
Brilliant Acting, Brilliant Script, but it's not without its drawbacks.
Well done. Well done Fran Kranz - He nailed a script that was just too good to turn down. Intelligent, thought-provoking, heart-rending, and most importantly, very low budget.
He just needed four staggeringly good performances to bring it to life. And he got them. The powerhouse script required powerhouse performances. And all four deliver, each getting their moments to steal the show - surprised that neither the script or the acting was recognised by the academy.
However, as much as I appreciate this film, there is a drawback - 4 people in a room, discussing for an hour and a half, as compelling as their conversation is, does end up dragging. I feel, given its nature, this film could have been half an hour shorter.
Anyway, it's terrific for what it is - And just shows that scripts don't have to be 'show but don't tell'.
This is all 'tell but don't show', and it works.
Jaws 3-D (1983)
So stupid, it's good!
Jaws 3-D, If ever there was a film that has struggled with the test of time, this is the one. The king of ageing badly. And why? The goddamn 3-D!
Back in 1983 when 3D was new and cool and everybody packed the theatres with their 3D glasses, this film might have been at least an experience - if you ignored the silly plot. Sadly nobody where's or has 3D glasses anymore which makes watching this film now a total laugh-fest. The deliberately integrated 3D scenes now look ridiculous and butcher the already iffy viewing. THIS FILM ONLY MAKES SENSE WITH 3D GLASSES ON!
Well actually, it still probably doesn't make much sense, but the film is at least, no where as bad as Jaws 4.
Anyway, why the 7 rating? For me, this film has the funniest scene in cinematic history - At the end, when Jaws bursts through the massive Sea World glass. With that ridiculous grin on his face. And what's more - the hilarious face expressions of Quaid, Armstrong and Gossett Jr, when he does so. It is comedy gold. Simply unmissable.
This film is a good bad, it's successor was simply bad bad.
Jaws 2 (1978)
It's good.
5.8 Rating - What?
This is one of the best sequels out there. Perhaps only bettered by Aliens. Very good film. Rating is way too low.
Sort it out guys!
Armed and Dangerous (1986)
Should have been much better.
John Candy, Eugene Levy, a young vibrant Meg Ryan, Harold Ramis on writing duties - What could go wrong? Well... Everything.
Harold Ramis wanted his writing credit removed after watching the final cut, and for good reason - the film is a total mess. Littered with ludicrously pointless scenes that should never had made it. Scenes that like 'shark' scene. Which comes out of nowhere, has no relevance to the plot (if there was ever a plot), and ends up being really unfunny. The humour is way too forced throughout.
Giving it a 3 for its odd funny moment and just in respect to the names attached.
After Life (2019)
This is for Season 3.
After Life. Hmmmm.
Look, I'll be straight up - I don't rate After life has highly as Ricky's other work. For me it plays the melodramatic card way to much, pretty much non-stop. A massive over use of melodramatic music throughout. That said, season one and two were still better than most things on tele. There was enough funny moments, interesting characters and Ricky's usual satire to keep me engaged and entertained. One of the best things about season 1 and 2 is how they tied it all up into a poignant ending. The character arcs came to their conclusion. So overall it was good series. Solid couple of seasons despite its irritating aspects.
So why the hell did they make season 3?
Gervais only ever made two seasons of all his other shows. It's a good rule. After Life season 3 serves as irrefutable proof of that. It really should not have been made. For me it really harms the whole series legacy. Season 3 just ramps up all the annoying things about the previous two seasons - Chiefly the melodrama. Those bloody flashback videos of his wife. Sure, poignant at first, but now a broken record player. Was tiresome in season 2, let alone now. The chats with Penelope Wilton on the bench! Yawn. Does she just sit on that bench her whole life? Ricky constantly using the C-word thinking it is cool. It really isn't.
I could go on about a lot of things here but ultimately season 3 is really unnecessary and just highlights the cons of the show in general. Just feels like an excuse to give Ricky and his acting mates something to do. However, despite my criticism, season 3 still has funny moments, the cast still do well and is probably better than a lot of other comedies that are around at the moment, such is the times. But easily Ricky's most self-indulgent work.
There's Someone Inside Your House (2021)
This is a strange film.
Before I gripe, this film does have some good things going for it - It's slickly made, great soundtrack, with solid performances for the most part. It starts off well with a creepy opening sequence that compliments the films title.
However, it's only the beginning of the film that sticks to the films premise, after that 'There's somebody inside your house' plays no part in the narrative. And that is probably the films biggest crime - That, and the films awful ending.
I also feel this film was strange in it's atmosphere. Has this emotive ambient score that felt odd for a slasher flick, I'm not sure it even wants to be a slasher/horror film. Maybe they should have just ditched the horror trope and stuck to a teenage melodrama. I think it would have made for a much better film.
Midnight Mass (2021)
Excellent for the most part - But falls at the final hurdle.
Was primed to give this show an 8 or a 9. I was really engaged, loved the characters, loved the eerie vibe. Loved the very deliberately slow build in tension. I would recommend it to any one.
But then...
The final episode. Left a little bit of sour taste in my mouth. It didn't work for me. Just didn't make sense. There was too many Why's? Too many bizarre and illogical decisions/behaviours from the main characters. It was still a poignant ending but not one that I bought, not in anyway what so ever.
Real shame. Overall still a great show.
Wrong Turn (2021)
Adjustment needed to Title
They just need to rename this one. Something like:
Wrong Script, Wrong Actors, Wrong Remake, Wrong Ending, Wrong Viewing. Or simply just Wrong.
Freaky (2020)
Delivers on its OTT premise.
It's a fun movie, right from the get go. Straight away we're introduced to deliberately laughable death scenes, perpetrated by our serial killer antagonist. It sets the tone, and the film sticks to that tone through out.
I liked it, an easy watch. The absurd death scenes always triggering a wry smile. Vince vaughn and Kathryn Newton both turn in ample performances.
The only cons - The ending is pretty mediocre. The final act doesn't even need to be there. Just a repeat of an ending they already did.
Also found it a bit bugging that only the douches in the film get the OTT slayings. Like they're just introduced as lambs to the slaughter - Particularly the jocks. They're outrageously one dimensional.
Finally - In what world does Kathryn Newton's Millie get labelled as an unattractive, bullied dweeb that none of the guys are in to. Yeah, Right...
Disaster Movie (2008)
Did they try and make the worse film ever?
I've given this travesty 3 stars instead of 1 on the off chance that the creators deliberately went out to make the most annoying and unfunny film they possibly could. Kinda like a parody of a parody. In a strange way, it could be considered genius.
This isn't even a so bad it's good. It's a diabolical viewing experience. 100% deserves its lowest rated film of all time honour.
The Suicide Squad (2021)
Starts Well. Deteriorates into a complete mess.
Half an hour in, I thought this movie was gonna be a blast. Slick, tongue in cheek, comic-violence. Was really enjoying it.
But then the constant gags started to wear thin. The plot was unclear, aimless. The squad just seemed to be going around killing people, whilst bickering etc. No clear villain, no clear objective. Also Harley's side plot felt mis-placed from the rest.
To be honest the whole film feels mis-placed. Tonally all over the place, one moment all comedy, then sudden all sentimentality. In a heartbeat. And as for plot - the story. Total rubbish. The less said about the Starfish and the rats, the better.
Despite these big flaws, it does have some good scenes, always slick direction, and decent performances. However I much preferred the 2016 film. At least it had a consistency about it.
Jolt (2021)
Silly but fun.
I couldn't help but enjoy this one. Probably because I like Beckinsale, and this is the most kick ass she has been, so what's not to like.
Look, it's not cinematic art, but it doesn't try to be. It's tongue in cheek fun, and it exceeds in delivery that.
Beckinsale is perfect for the role, exudes sexy and badass, and the film is not shy in selling that, which I like.
Def worth a watch if you like this kind of movie - Does what it says on the tin.
Made in Heaven (1987)
Not as good as I remembered 20 years ago.
Great concept, with at times a great atmosphere. But it's weird, nonsensical at times. With a more subtle plot and more care in execution it could've been a classic but Made in Heaven ends up a bit of a drag and a mess.
At its heart it's an atmospheric romance, which is where it's at its best. But then out of nowhere there will be a bizarre comic sketch which simply doesn't fit.
Really liked it first time I saw it. Not at all second time.
Godzilla vs. Kong (2021)
Exactly what you would expect.
In terms of CGI and special effects it's grade A. Mind you that's a given these days. Though have to recognise the amount of work that goes into such animation.
Story telling, drama and tension have sadly been subsided here. It's a mess.
The fight scenes between Zilla and Kong are fun and you get what you pay for on that front.
Cant complain to much, but one feels that such an epic showdown between films biggest two monsters could have been handled with more tension and suspense. Oh yeah, the little girl that speaks to King, ridiculous, she's way to small for him to see her sign language!
Your Honor (2020)
Did not go in the direction that I had hoped for.
Really liked the pilot. It was simple and to the point. Set up an intriguing premise and spent all its efforts on showcasing the emotional trauma following are key plot point. Supplied a real "hook", was excited to see how it would all unfold.
Episode 2 and 3 didn't go in the direction I was hoping. Started to get very complex very quickly. So many new characters and plot swerves. Didn't like it. The crime family did not provide the threat I was hoping for. They had their own dramas going on.
Episode 4 - I gave up. Not for me.
Not a bad show, but just didn't stick to it's premise for me. Things got to weird to soon.
Extra Ordinary (2019)
What?
What was this? Really?
What's with all the good reviews? Seriously?
This is a complete mess. From start to finish. Totally incoherent. Get that it's suppose to be a wacky comedy, but this is a wacky everything. Story, editing, direction, acting, music. None of it makes sense. Just randomly weird scenes, bizarrely interluding with one another. It's like a feature length 1st time student project, where the students were high on weed during the making.
Will Forte makes it worse. What the hell is his character? Seriously?
Sadly, the few funny bits are impossible to find funny, because the film had already lost me.
The good reviews just prove how subjective comedy is. I need to get of this planet!
I Care a Lot (2020)
An odd film and not in good way.
Reading a lot of the reviews, there is a lot of detestation towards this film. I can't deny, I was also infuriated by much of it. Principally the idea that we should care or root for such a horrible person just because she is woman and its 2021. Not going to appeal to many.
But I found it really weird too. It seems to start as a black comedy, but then drifts in and out as a deadly serious drama. Tonally it just feels all over the place. That can be applied to the characters too, they're not at all not consistent, either logically or morally.
The score is good, best bit about the film. Quite riveting. Only problem is, it's applied to scenes that simply don't warrant it. Just feels weird.
I think the films biggest problem is that it is so concerned at presenting this strong intelligent, fearless, cut throat woman that it completely negates empathy and any plausibility. The implausibilities in this film are staggering, and very annoying, and endless. Her attitude towards being threatened by the mafia. The mafia not having her whacked right off the bat. The mafia not just botching her hit but her lesbians lovers also. The mafia boss being a midget. The ridiculously naive judge who allows her to abuse the elderly. Her taking down the mafia with such ease, the mafia forgiving her so quickly, blah, blah, blah - I could go on forever.
Ridiculous film,competently acted and directed though.
News of the World (2020)
Snooze of the World
Really been impressed with much of Paul Greengrass's previous work. Tom Hanks is an acting legend. The signs were good. The signs were wrong.
This was boring to watch, no hook what's so ever. Feels really slow from the get go, and never really picks up. No real story, no real tension - Just Hanks and his little feral girl side kick wandering the Wild West having the odd cliche'd encounter with an antagonist or two.
So surprised this a Greengrass film, carries none of his high tension traits. To give it some credit, the acting is good, Hanks is solid and the location and steps are good. Feels authentically late 1800's America. Also it does carry some good sentiment towards the end. But that simply doesn't make up for the first hour and half.
Easiest way to summarise - If you've ever played the Red Dead Redemption, remember the really boring bit where you have to travel long distances with a slow horse to complete missions and it all feels unnecessary and pointless? Thats this film.
The Equalizer (2014)
Takes suspension of disbelief to the max.
The film starts off promisingly. Good atmosphere, good directing, cinematography and acting. You could be fooled into thinking a good story is about to unfold.
Wrong! Dumbass, outrageously implausible action flick unfolds. Denzel walks about killing Russian mafia guy after Russian mafia guy. Walks into a room with 10 armed Russians. Takes them out, one at a time without a gun. Nobody shoots him, even though he moves like a snail. They wait for their turn to die.
This is all to protect a young implausibly attractive prostitute from their evil clutches. BTW all the prostitutes in this film look like glamorous actresses. On her behalf, Denzel practically takes down the entire Russian mafia all on his won, without breaking a sweat, without any consequence. He can do all this because he was an ex-marine/intelligence officer, which means you're an indestructible killing machine regardless of age or physique. Which is good because Denzel looks like a scrawny .
They actual made a sequel - Wouldn't be surprised if the plot revolved around him going back in time and destroying Hitlers army before the outbreak of WW2. Kills them all by himself. Takes out a whole platoon with his hands. Sneaks into the Chancellery, kills Hitler. All on behalf of a Jewish girl he meets who's grand parents were sadly killed during the occupation.
Only watch this for laughs. Absolute Jokesville,
Bill & Ted Face the Music (2020)
Sums up our current movie industry...
Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure: Original, fresh, clever, cool and really funny. A classic.
Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey: Not a patch on the original, but decent. Still creative and some laughs. Also, made well before PC agenda's destroyed the film industry.
Bill and Ted Face the Music: JUST PRETEND IT DOESN'T EXIST.