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The Amityville Horror (2005)
Totally Cheesy, Totally Fun
So I had read countless reviews saying that the new Amityville was awful. I was sad to read that, because I thought the previews looked good, even though I thought the original was boring. I've been watching horror movies for a long time, long enough to hardly be affected anymore. I went with a friend of mine, and we both loved it. Neither of us have ever reacted to a movie the way we did during this one. Yeah, the movie is cheesy, I don't think that's entirely unintentional. The best horror movies, the ones we all remember, are cheesy. If you want to enjoy this movie, which I did to the fullest capacity, you've got to keep in mind that horror movies have one purpose. They want the audience to scream and jump. There are tons of jump scenes in this movie, and it seems that people bash these for not being truly scary, because after a few viewings they won't scare you anymore. Maybe that's true, but I'm the kind of person that doesn't like haunted houses for being creepy, I like them for when someone pops out and scares the hell out of me just by screaming "Boo!" So if you're like me, you'll like this movie. 27 times better than the original, at least. Movies generally don't scare me, this one made me spill my popcorn.
Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003)
why?
It literally hurt me to watch this movie. The hour and a half in the theater felt like at least twice that, and I have never moved around in my seat so much. The only reason I had any hope for this movie was the fact that it featured Eugene Levy and Luis Guzman. Big mistake for these talented actors to waste their talents in this film. It was boring and simply unfunny.
The reason the first one was funny was because we actually believed that these guys could be as dim as to do the things they did. But in this film, with lines like "My name's Lloyd Christmas"..."You're Santa's kid?" it just seems like some people pretending to be dumb. And putting them in a special ed class makes it something not so funny anymore. If you watch the way they act, you can imagine that they really would need to be in a special ed class.
The material from the original movie rehashed in this one is forced and not funny. When you hear lines like "Just when I thought I couldn't get any madder at you, you go and do something like this.." you know what's coming. And that takes a lot of humor out of it.
I forced a single laugh, during Bob Saget's scene (which grew old at light speed). What people don't realize is that Bob Saget's career has turned into showing up in movies to say something crude, just because he was the dad in Full House. It's outgrown any humor, and the scene itself (there's sh!t all over the bathroom!) displays every forced thing in this movie.
I was relieved when the credits ran. When I looked over to my friend to see her reaction, she was doing what I wish I had been the entire movie: sleeping.