spoken Reviews

Satanic (2016)

Hard to vote for this one with the excessive swearing!

[4/10 · 9 March 2018]

I saw this on Netflix and watched the whole thing even though the kids' behaviors made me want to beat them *all* over their heads with *all* my pots and pans.

Now there's nothing wrong with the movie as a whole except for the dialogue, so I gave it a 7/10. But I'm seriously thinking of giving it a 5/10 for making me think too much about their excessive swearing, and I might make it a 4/10 to emphasize the ever-present f-bombs.

That said, there's an interesting take on the concept of Hell, and its depiction at the end makes for a perfect comeuppance as far as I'm concerned. The end made me want to give an evil chuckle.

7/10 really is what I think the whole thing is worth, but I just can't reward the "language". Maybe I'll compromise; a 5/10 might work. It's too hard to decide!

The Forlorned (2017)

Colton Christensen nails it in this excellent ghost story!

[15 November 2017]

8/10 stars here because the rating system isn't up yet for this movie.

Viewed on Amazon Prime, "The Forlorned" is an indie flick based upon a real book, one I'll likely get for Christmas because I love books at least as much as movies.

Tom's new job has a few quirks, like ghosts and such. But he's on a mission to buy his dad's boat back from the bank and puts up with a lot, thanks, in part, to a generally agreeable disposition. A couple of townies help him out emotionally. As can be expected, though, things get a bit too hairy and scary, even for Tom, as he puts together the facts that solve a mystery from 1812. And yes, he meets a girl ...

The acting of both Tom and the possessing "demon", portrayed by Colton Christensen, is excellent. In fact, they were all good actors, even the ghosts.

I thought the scenery was decent for an indie budget, especially the POV from the water toward the island. It's not perfect, but I'm not as picky as some viewers.

I'm going to get the DVD when it's available (haven't checked yet), and I recommend this movie to anyone who likes ghost stories with believable characters.

No swearing or sex, and very little blood (I did miss my gore).

Talon Falls (2017)

Having Your Snuff and Selling It, Too!

[8/10 · 14 November 2017]

What a setup! This is a bit like "having your cake and eating it, too", but with snuff sales. Collect money at the door, use "outsider" patrons for free labor/victims then sell the tapes on the black market. Wow!!!

My eyeballs feasted on sets, costumes and "horror colors". It felt made by one of the Big Film companies.

I had no problem with the acting except for the gas station dude; I thought he was a bit overcooked and I needed subtitles for his lines. But his place in the flick was a necessary part of the organization's business model.

Alas, I can't handle non-stop screaming, so at the halfway mark I started "skipping stones" to the ending which was pretty good.

I didn't see the dog scene, but I respect the others' statements and support the idea of investigation.

The Creature Below (2016)

I watched it twice!

[7/10 · 10 November 2017]

Viewed on Amazon Prime, I just had to watch it a second time to get a couple of fine points I might have missed the first time around.

I think one of the best ideas was to limit the visual contact we had with the creature (Lovecraftian and god-like). Additionally, the creature was given a childlike way of "speaking" that made me want to love it just as did the main character, Olive.

I just wish the ending had been given about one more full second in the ocean "reveal" scene for my eyeballs to love. Warning - I liked the ending.

Tôkyô Densetsu: Kyôfu no Ningen Jigoku (2014)

Film crew gets screwed again!

[7/10 · 31 October 2017]

OK, so *if* this is "Mount. Nabi" from Amazon Prime, then here's my opinion: 7/10, viewed on Amazon Prime with English subtitles. SPOILER ALERT

Basically, a film crew gets screwed in a "haunted woods" found-footage investigation flick. What's rather interesting is how it appears the director was up to something no good during the location scouting. We may have seen it all before, but this one is a bit different.

I am thinking the director was hoping for something real in the "haunted woods" to happen so his third movie would be "notorious" (taken from subtitles). What he didn't count on was an alien impregnating humans and taking the resulting babies away into space. If this were a book from back in the 1950's there'd be spaced-based sequels galore. What a fabulous concept (alien-on-human rape scene not cool, and rather graphic, but well done).

So if you love gore then there are some payoffs throughout the second half. If you love aliens with interesting physiology then this is for you. Additional fun - how many things can you see from other movies inside this one?

I like it; worth the view.

Dracula Reborn (2015)

More a modern Euro-mystery than horror

[7/10 · 21 October 2017]

I liked this movie.

Europe knows about "Drakula" (spelling is that way in the movie), and the TV is full of murder-by-vamp news. What catches our journalist's attention is a call for help from a young woman who's been bitten and now needs blood. Furthermore, as she walks away with dinner-sheep in arms, she disappears! The prince (supposedly Vlad) is named Corvinus, and he is like the Nosferatu vampire, quirky, jerky and sometimes makes comical faces. His next-in-command is more human-like but just as deadly. The remainder of his group (coven?) appears to be female and active only near home. And all of them can simply disappear at will.

I say give it a view with an eye toward mystery rather than horror because it's well done, the photography is magnificent and the actors capable.

And please forgive my paragraph goof; IMDb makes correcting it a living hell.

Soldiers of the Damned (2015)

A background in old sci-fi and paying close attention help

[7/10 · 19 October 2017]

I just watched this on Amazon Prime and I appear to be the 12th reviewer, so I'll offer some viewing tips.

In short, when one group enters a haunted forest to reclaim a supernatural relic for Hitler's occult researchers and goes missing another group is sent in. We learn why they want the relic and some nasty stuff about the SS, too.

First of all, the movie's story-line is fine if you've ever read old science fiction: people can appear to be killed in one place/time yet become part of another place/time with knowledge of the first. But you won't always see that played out as soldiers have to make split-second decisions to shoot now then talk later (but maybe no one's left to hear, or you have a reason to hide what you know).

Ignore the anachronisms. You're not going to find an adviser for historical accuracy on a small budget, so why worry? Spoiler: The soldier with the tomahawk has some Native American blood, so he has the weapons and expertise to use blades as killing tools. It is explained, but other reviewers apparently missed that conversation.

Most importantly, you absolutely must pay attention to the little clues along the way or you'll miss something hugely important.

Now that the boards are gone and no questions are being answered in the FAQ I'm hoping more reviewers will chime in with spoilers and tidbits of helpful info. Remember to tick the box if you don't want to see spoiler reviews.

The Virus (I) (2014)

aka The Virus 2017 on Amazon Prime

[6/10 · 18 October 2017]

Well, I'm confused. The movie, on its own, is fine if watched without any need for details of reason.

A virus kills everyone it infects while making the victim tell only the truth. So why did the nano-tech company develop it? The movie does not really make that clear, so you have to read about it on IMDb. Only then does it make any kind of sense.

Now here's one for ya ... IMDb has two people going by Johnny Tabor and Jon Tabor, with credits very different from each other. Yet both men are listed as doing the same character in this movie. And now, with the boards gone, there's no easy way to call anyone's attention to this stuff.

I'm throwing up my hands and walking away.

The Passing (2015)

Not Fictional Horror

[6/10 · 17 October 2017]

On its own "The Passing" probably deserves a 7 or 8. I was offered this on Amazon Prime under 'Horror' so I watched fully through to the end which was good on more than one level.

Here's my problem. I watch horror flicks to be taken away, completely, from anything resembling real life. I want gore. I want mindless slashers. And best of all, I want Exploding Heads! I don't want real-life issues thrust into my mind for me to feel sick over, even if they happen during a near-death experience.

And now that there is no ridiculously-easy way to get the Powers that Be to fix a genre mix-up my only recourse is to rate according to my feelings alone. And I feel duped and sickened by a real-life issue.

The movie is good on every level I can think of, but you have to watch to the very end to understand why the things you think are wonky really are wonky and whacked-out. Enjoy.

Monsters Among Men (2017)

Definitely Watchable

[13 October 2017]

On Amazon Prime. I liked this enough to watch through to the end-of-credits scene. Sorry, no spoiler for this. 8) This B-movie gave vamps a different source/backstory, different from anything I've seen before, that is. The monsters are not entirely strong, and they are searching for a food source that will make them less frail.

If you decide to check out "Monsters Among Men" (2017) then you should expect to find pockets of questionable acting, lines and sets, but all together they aren't too bad. At times the film looks more like a televised play (think PBS) than a movie, but I didn't have any real problem with that; it seemed to happen only during the dark-of-night scenes.

If IMDb ever gives us a chance to vote on this flick I'll probably give it a 6/10 stars.

Serpent's Lair (1995)

More like psychological torture than horror.

[6/10 · 28 September 2017]

Just watched this on Amazon Prime, which has this as a 2014 movie.

It is more like psychological torture than horror. Yes, there's a succubus (sp?), but most of the movie is about the mild erotica and the victim who can't escape the villains and their enchantments, so to speak.

If you have "stalker scars" then you will want to avoid this movie. It has no scares, but the cats are beautiful.

As always, Jeff Fahey makes having eyes a wonderful thing.

The Castle Project (2013)

It's a Real Documentary!!!

[9/10 · 13 September 2017]

Look, folks, all you have to do is Google the mansion. Higgins is an architect who decided to make his own film about a property he'd bought with plans to renovate. Try this: https://Colorado encyclopedia.org/article/croke-patterson-Campbell-mansion (remove space)

Now about the film, it has a bit of everything you'd expect, including uncertainty as a conclusion. I've never taken EVP spoken words seriously because I think the "translations" tend to get stretched by the listeners. Be that as it may, I thought the "Dracula" bat was hilarious, and the recorded sounds legit. Well, as legit as stuff moving through pipes ...

Can I explain loud bangs and footsteps? Nope, and I don't care to try. I found the whole thing interesting and engaging, the people involved believable (except for the psychic). What's really impressive is the attitudes of those exposed to acts of haunting: they laugh it off.

If you have Amazon Prime then I recommend it for a lark.

It Lives in the Attic (2016)

I can't decide.

[2 September 2017]

I just saw this on Amazon Prime, and for the time being I'm not giving any stars to this movie for the following reason: I think I know what's in the attic but I don't know if I'm correct. One of the benefits of having message boards is the ability to gauge one's own understanding of the events in a movie.

SPOILER (possibly) If I'm correct then what lives in the attic is the ability to see one's true inner nature, what one might be like if allowed to live without social mores. So in a sense, this movie moves backward rather than forward.

END SPOILER

About the stars/ratings, if I ever get a confirmation or negation on my thoughts then I'll come back and rate this movie.

Can I recommend this movie? Pft, I've no idea!

Hercules Reborn (2014)

I liked it well enough.

[6/10 · 1 August 2017]

So ... it's a low-budget, action/adventure flick that has a rather twisted Hercules as the title character, but not really the lead. And that's all I can say about him without spoilers.

Don't expect anything you've read on mythology, accept the limitations of a low budget, prepare your ears for some strange "things" in the background score, anticipate some kinda-weird fight editing, and you'll be ready to sit back with some snacks and enjoy.

The story itself is fine from my perspective, exactly what a sword-and-sandals action/adventure should be. It's just not a Hollywood blockbuster. 6/10

The Attachment (2016)

It's an OK story for low budget

[6/10 · 23 July 2017]

I gave this six stars because it was watchable and had some things I liked. It lost four stars for the things I didn't like. I've been around for 60 years and I've seen a few stinkers I wouldn't finish. As an Amazon Prime customer I get to hit the back button and make another selection without additional cost other than a shrug and a grimace. So here are a few things off the top of my head.

I found the story coherent except for one place when the time-line shifted and I wasn't sure of a character's identity due to extreme hair and makeup changes. I thought the Callum character was believable and memorable. I can't remember the others' names.

Yes, the graphics were, in general, awful for the times, but that would be a money issue rather than something with which to condemn the finished product. I did like the orbs. Orbs are cool.

Yes, some of the acting made me cringe inside, but I expected that going in. And in a few spots I wondered why something was written and/or directed in a certain way, but I expected that, too.

If there's one thing I've learned since joining IMDb, it's that money and time usually affect the outcome, and not in a pretty way. Oh, and sometimes a corporate know-it-not will make some stupid demand that ruins the whole thing. I don't know what played out here, though.

In general, you'll choose to give this flick a chance or you won't. If you can do it without spending any money then go for it.

Almost forgot ... I liked the ending that left me with no questions.

Field Freak (2016)

Comedic-Horror OK if you like that sub-genre

[6/10 · 10 May 2016]

In general, I do not like comedic-horror, though I've seen a handful I can appreciate.

This movie, "Field Freak", has a tone reminiscent of "Dead Alive", though the similarities end there. I can re-watch "Dead Alive" once a year. I don't think I wasted any time on "Field Freak", but I won't have any desire to watch it again.

I think the humor is for people who think "farting" and yelling simpletons are worthy of mention in movies. Yuck.

What grabbed me was the music. Wonderfully light-hearted at the beginning and wherever else appropriate, and different from anything I might have expected.

I say give it a shot; I think it's got much to appreciate. And I *know* there are people out there for whom this will be very funny and re-watchable.

The Basement (I) (2011)

OK, but not horror, MAJOR SPOILER ALERT

[6/10 · 9 December 2015]

I just watched this on Amazon Prime, Horror section.

This isn't horror; it's a psychological thriller-drama with no more gore or scares than any cable movie of someone going mad and tumbling over the edge and right into The Murder Zone.

For what it is it's a fairly OK movie. But melodramatic teen junk is not for me and I resent having watched all that drama and teen angst crap waiting for something special to happen, like guts and/or ghosts and/or flying heads created by very special artists. All I got were a few cuts and about a bucket-full of blood.

Nothing special here except I didn't see the ending twist coming, which gives the movie a positive stroke. So if you like movies with a bunch of young folk stuck in a room with one person going murderously insane then this flick, and its cool-and-twisted ending, then give this a shot.

In fact, that ending makes this movie better than my first assessment, so I'm upping my vote to a 6/10. Happy watching!

Mourning Grave (2014)

Better than Good - no real spoilers within

[8/10 · 19 November 2014]

I sat glued, except when I jumped, to this poignant film about a young man-teen who unwillingly communicates with ghosts, who finds himself in an unusual situation punctuated by a clique of classroom bullies, and feels compelled to assist a "special" friend. The "false end" is so touchingly tender I cried, which surprised the 'ell out of me! If I say anything else I'll spoil something because of the way the film is put together; the viewer is taken back and forth from past to present events until all get tied together with a reasonably logical and acceptable bow.

My favorite "thing" about Mourning Grave (2014) is that in no way did it feel like anything other than a ghost/horror movie. In other words, the stuff you'd find in dramas and romances didn't detract at all.

Oh, and I love the nutty uncle. I want one just like him.

I would call this soft-core, East-Asian horror. Take a chance and enjoy!

The Final (I) (2010)

Should be required watching in Middle School

[8/10 · 25 September 2014]

You know, if kids in fifth and sixth grades are doing drugs and sex then I think this movie should be required watching under "Walk a Mile in Another's Shoes" class.

I'm a boomer who's let go of some ideological standards such as "violence begets violence" simply due to the real-life situations we all witness every day, either personally or by way of the media. If you're aware of the school massacres, postal rampages and D.C. sniper(s?), etc, then you know about the personalities which can be pushed right over the edge. I think shoving something like this down the throats of young people might just be the fastest way to increase bully-awareness in the bullies, themselves.

One thing I missed in this telling was the fact that bullies often come from bullies. They need to exert power over others as power has been exerted over them, and it seems as though no one cares about breaking those cycles. So when parents of bullies get called to the school maybe they should be forced to watch this, too.

Anyway, I felt conflicted when the revenge was a bit overboard; one minute I'm cheering them on and the next I'm not liking them at all. And the bit with the reporter at the end was either an analogy for the way parents and coworkers, etc act innocent and shocked or it was a stupid piece of writing. Either way, I thought it inappropriately placed within this movie; the subject of denial should get its own flick.

So watch and enjoy, cringe, think, whatever. As for me I plan to have this available for my granddaughter ...

Submerged (I) (2011)

Good and solid B with one big problem

[6/10 · 20 February 2014]

I got into this thinking it was something else, but it grabbed me right away with some strangely compelling music and a teen who "heard" her dead parents speak to her directly a couple of times when she was daydreaming under stress.

Then the movie added the father's old Polaroid camera which apparently facilitates some story-telling from the beyond in its pics, including some effects that are surprisingly good for this kind of flick.

And, of course, there's the mysterious and understanding friend who seems to appear out of thin air ...

Well, it was going great for a B-horror, and I would probably watch it again if I didn't have to pay, but something went wrong at the end. Or it suddenly went "artsy" and we have to fill in too many blanks for ourselves. Things just started moving too quickly, like a death that should have left us feeling gutted but didn't. The horses left the gate and the race to the end was over in little more than a blink.

I can tell you that the movie does end, but it doesn't tie things up with a bow, and you will be left with some questions that we all like to have answered. I do recommend this flick if you don't have to pay too much for the sitting, and if you are prepared to be left with a giant question mark on your face at the end.

Mosquito-Man (2013)

Love it. Gotta own it.

[9/10 · 26 December 2013]

This movie hit me a little like a cross between a comic book for a new superhero and "Slither", which I watch about twice every year.

It was fun, not funny. The characters (for once) all behaved exactly the way I wanted them to, the dialog was a bit campy from the cop at first, but he really surprised me at every turn - a smart and sympathetic guy bottled in a campy jar!

And I absolutely loved the atmosphere, both visual and musical. It looked like another world, kinda, at times, and the music was rousingly dramatic at all the right times. They both drew me in and held me tightly bound to the screen.

I can't say much more without spoilers, but I can say I had a smile moment in almost every scene.

I love the hero and want him back for more!!!

Internalised (2011)

Needs commentary or something

[5/10 · 22 December 2013]

I would say that there is nothing fundamentally wrong with this film, but I don't understand what it's trying to tell me.

Maybe it's really a premise for something bigger, and that would be a plus, because it does feel very much like a trailer for something interesting.

Well, OK, there's a problem in that I couldn't understand what the announcer was saying, and I suspect the information might have been relevant to understanding the film.

I think the creators should put a lot more information under Trivia and FAQ such as the announcer's lines. Or point to someplace on the web where there's a commentary or something explanatory. The final shot left question marks all over my eyeballs.

Ed Gein: The Butcher of Plainfield (2007 Video)

Decent movie, Lousy title, Kane Hodder gets hotter

[5/10 · 19 August 2013]

I'd already read the reviews and board posts so I went into this movie knowing just two things: it had a bad title and Kane Hodder was the main character.

Let's do the latter first. Kane Hodder really can act right down to realistic crying with tears. I thought he was especially menacing when doing mad-with-frustration. And maybe it's because I'm a Boomer, but I do believe Hodder gets hotter by the year, and I'm thrilled to see him in this role.

Now about that title ... can a movie be renamed? It's a decent movie if you aren't in immediate need of fast-action cuts and head-to-toe gore, though there is plenty of that. I get that this is "in the same universe" as Ed Gein, but that doesn't make it an Ed Gein movie. It should have been presented as an alternate universe and "what if" fiction.

If you can keep yourself planted in a fiction frame of mind, and you like slasher (kinda) movies then you might want to see this flick.

Stars lost due to stupidity in title and false story presentation.

Infected (II) (2013)

I liked it.

[8/10 · 19 August 2013]

I liked this enough that I'll buy or rent it in the future for more viewing pleasure, so to speak.

The score was a mix of things from orchestral to twang, and it lent to a tone of "cautious optimism" throughout. And for me that was one of the standout features of this flick, making it different from the standard-issue zombie movies of late.

Others have said all the rest of the positive things I wanted to say, so I'll just add this: it's possible that some of the haters don't want as much fleshing-out as just plain flesh.

Take a chance and see what you think.

Dracula: Reborn (2012)

An interesting take on an old tale, but little in chills and thrills

[5/10 · 18 August 2013]

I don't know about reviewing movies, but I'll share my opinions.

First of all, I love the music. It's perfect for those of us who prefer orchestral flow, and it is hauntingly enthralling throughout. If ever the music is silenced then the break was appropriate as I did not notice at all.

Secondly, this has the feel of the classic Dracula flicks in black and white, and I don't know any serious Horror fan who doesn't have at least some appreciation for those. I like to watch the whole set once per year. If you do, too, then you might just like this movie.

Lastly, "Dracula: Reborn" is thoroughly modern but with an old tone or feel. Characters' names are slightly changed but recognizable and the sequences of events are, too, but changed to modernize. I think Lina's story will surprise you, so pay attention from the very beginning.

Take a chance on this one if you like the old-style horror that really doesn't include much in the way of chills and thrills for modern fans of scares and gore. I think the ending is worth the risk.