aleusong Reviews

Charlotte's Web 2: Wilbur's Great Adventure (2002 Video)

Feels incredibly padded

[2/10 · 28 October 2012]

Most video sequels (though inferior) at least try to build up a story with some form of plot, character development, and the like. But this sequel was just bland and boring. I would've taken a rehash of the original story where the attention was on Cardigan instead the story that we got here. The story is basically, Wilbur goes to visit Cardigan at his new home and a misunderstanding occurs where Wilbur must come to his rescue. It may sound interesting on paper but the movie stretches this plot way out to meet its 80 minute requirement with too slow unnecessary moments, dull songs, and goes nowhere with it really. I was expecting something a little more exciting or at least something with more depth to happen. But in the end it is so boring even for a video sequel.

I wasn't a big fan of the original. But it would've been more interesting to see them do something a little more with a sequel to this film. The other thing that might bother people is that they updated ALL the characters from the film with modern looks. Fern in this movie is a COMPLETELY different character (in looks and personality) than the one from the original. It barely qualifies as a sequel to the 1973 animated film because of this.

A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas (2011)

feels more like a spin off or Christmas special

[8/10 · 28 November 2011]

To give the movie credit, it's still a good 3rd movie and fans of the first two films will enjoy this one as all your favorite characters return. Though in a way if feels rather disjointed from the first two films as it takes place years after the second one and we find out that Harold and Maria got married and moved away while Kumar is living alone and still trapped in his old life. But classic "Harold & Kumar" circumstances bring the two back together on Christmas Eve as they race against time to save the holiday from disaster.

I give the movie credit that it's still a very funny film. One thing that surprised me though is the lack of race and marijuana jokes that the first two films devoted their humor to. Most of the humor in this movie comes from either the 3D effects or having way over-the-top stuff occur. The baby getting high on drugs just seemed weirder than Santa Claus existing. The first two films kept the REALLY wacky stuff in dream sequences and tried to ground itself in reality as much as possible. This film just goes ALL over the place with different characters which is why it feels more like a spin off than an official 3rd movie to me.

Again to this film's credit, it's still a good funny movie for fans of the franchise and a great film for Christmas in general. Even people who have never heard of "Harold & Kumar" will get a kick out of this movie. The humor and heart in the story is there and it's rare for a 3rd movie in a comedy franchise to stay this consistently funny.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 (2010)

An uninspiring step towards the finale

[6/10 · 24 November 2010]

After watching the horridness of Half-Blood Prince, I was gonna keep my hopes low for this film. However some people on here who hated Half-Blood Prince loved Deathly Hallows pt 1.

Unfortunately I am not a part of this camp. I was part of the group who believed that Deathly Hallows pt1 was an improvement over Half Blood Prince but not at all by much. Everything in this film was done almost in the same fashion that Half Blood Prince was done. The only reason why this film would be considered better is because the book itself had more action and plot development. It didn't had to waste it's time inventing stuff or stretching scenes because their was plenty to work with here: *SPOILERS* The good is that so far all the important scenes have been put into the movie (except one in my mind).

The bad is divided into two sections: what's missing and what replaced it.

First off, the Dursleys cameo was disappointing. What's the point in bringing them back for the film if we cant get as much as a line from Dudley saying goodbye to Harry? Second...too much Hermoine! Okay so I know Ron was gone for part of the story but there's so much focus on Hermoine than is really necessary.

Third...my biggest peeve...too many gags. God I swear every five seconds Steve Kloves is trying to write something stupid into this script to get a giggle out of the audience. I don't recall the gags being half this annoying in the days of Chris Columbus. It's the last freakin book. Get a little more serious here! Worse yet, a moment where a character was supposed to have died is replaced with a comical blackout instead. Dumb! Dumb! Dumb!!!! Among other things, I didn't like the animation of the Three Brothers segment plus other details here and there. Also the broken mirror piece is brought into this movie with absolutely no explanation. If someone who only sees the films (like my friend) still has to ask me questions then you got yourself a problem as far as writing is concerned. In fact the mood of the film from start to finished played like a bad Twilight movie which is in itself very disgraceful...especially when it is the last book of the series. I don't mind if they want to go dark but this is the last book of the series and to me, it lacks anything purely epic in scope. Therefore I'm keeping my hopes low for a spectacular finale.

An American Tail: The Treasure of Manhattan Island (1998 Video)

Worse than "The Secret of Nimh 2" and THAT's saying something!

[2/10 · 13 September 2010]

I spent the past weekend watching all of "The Land Before Time" sequels and this film in the mix. (I'm still trying to find 'The Mystery of the Night Monster'.

I've seen plenty of decent work done on the 'Balto' and 'TLBT' video sequels, even if some stories weren't as good as their predecessors. But this sequel had no redeeming or interesting qualities. The only bit that caught my interest was learning about the pneumatic subway but other than that this sequel was really hard to get into and is probably the worse offender as far as continuity. It seems that the writers had completely forgotten that Tony Toponi had a love interest in the original film (Bridgette) that he married and had a baby with in 'Fievel Goes West'. Perhaps they had a brief separation thus allowing him to seek other love interests in the 3rd and 4th films. Aside from that Tanya is portrayed in the most annoying matter ever! She's actually less mature and more bratty than she was in the original. Though in 'Fievel Goes West' she did have a complete character do-over where she grew up to be a self absorbed teenager. In this film however she's not self absorbed, she's just whiny. Same goes for Papa Mouskewitz.

The themes and story of the film are more targeted at preschoolers. Had this been a sequel taking place when Fievel and his family were already out west much of the film would still make sense, but it's really hard to buy into the idea of Native American mice living in the tunnels of New York City and then having to deal with all the pro-Native American themes that come along with it.

In the end it seems like none of the characters...not even Fievel himself plays any role of real importance significance. At least in The Land Before Time sequels, the themes and characters are constant and remain significant. But none of the characters in American Tail are in their true character nor stay true to continuity. They don't even try for matching animation in this film. This is the worse of the Don Bluth video sequels (even Secret of Nimh 2 was more interesting) and not worth your time unless you're really bored.

The Secret Life of the American Teenager (2008–2013)

The unintentional comedy...

[6/10 · 9 July 2010]

Yes this show is quite horrible as far as realism, writing, and well...basically everything but in a way it's so hilarious how horrible it is, you can't help but watch it. This is the sole reason my friend and I are watching this show: to make fun of how ridiculous it is. And it's funny to see the teenagers act so bipolar, or slutty or pathetic. You know that by the end of the series everyone's gonna sleep with each other or get knocked up by each other. There's even a couple with Down Syndrome who are manipulative selfish jerks to everyone. And the pregnant teen who is the center of the show is a total biotch. It's also funny how all the parents of the kids seem to butt into each others' lives. Everyone knows what everyone's kids are up to.

Yes it's an awful show but you can have fun watching the show and have a drinking game every time one of the kids says "sex!" Have fun!

Mean Girls (2004)

I really don't get the popularity behind this film at all

[2/10 · 1 July 2010]

I had high expectations for this film when I saw previews and came away from it completely disappointed.

I expected a funny satire. It doesn't have to be witty as long as the story found a definite way to stand out from other teen movies and give me laughs throughout.

That totally failed. Instead creating a good laugh-out-loud satirical comedy we got ourselves a whiny preachy film that really derives from its own message. Tina Fey seem very self-absorbed when she wrote this.

Here's what I got from this movie: Cady was a gullible new girl who was liked by a group of popular beautiful girls . This makes an unpopular whiny goth/punk/whatever girl Janis who hates the popular girls very jealous and wants to get revenge. So she entices the new girl to be her friend so they could elaborate a massive scheme where Cady is accepted into Regina's circle and can bring Regina down.

It starts to work for a while until Regina's boyfriend starts to have feelings for Cady because the audience is dumb enough to believe that any popular boy who's dating the popular blonde queen bee is deep down a normal guy who would prefer a typical ordinary sweet girl over the blonde mean girl they're voluntarily with. (Yeah, right!) Things get nasty and Regina has Cady turn against Janis and then more stuff happens and now everyone who is unpopular hates Cady for being popular and all the popular people hate Cady for being unpopular. Even Tina Fey's character condemns Cady for joining up with the popular girls until it becomes this whole big thing where Cady has become the major villain in the school and has to apologize to the whole school for her "mistakes".

Um...am I missing something here? This whole thing was all Janis's idea. Yet she doesn't accept any real guilt or responsibility for creating a monster or manipulating a new girl and giving her no right to chose how she would go through high school. Instead we are left to feel all boo-hoo for her just because she couldn't accept her low level of popularity or accept the fact that Cady would rather hang around Regina and her friends instead.

So now we have another typical run-of-the-mill teen film that makes us feel all sorry and victimizing of the so-called "unpopular" girls while putting every effort into villainizing the popular girls and anyone who even rises up to their ranks. Worse yet, the good humor in this film is long gone after the first few scenes and fails to show up again until Regina is hit by a bus (which wass random and a bit pointless but still unexpected and funny).

And the worse part about all of this was that the lesson could've been more meaningful but in the end it became so one-sided. The ending (telling us how everyone turned out) was nice and sweet in its own way but the build up to that ending did not make zero sense and kinda ruined it for me. Oh sure the unpopular girls got to feel a little bit better about their sorry unpopular selves after Cady's Spring-Fling speech but it's highly doubtful that Janis or Damien learned anything from all of this, but oh of course they're exempt because they weren't popular (sarcasm).

Did I mention that all the humor was sucked out of this film way early on? This wouldn't be the last time a teen "dramedy" was written so poorly and end up loosing its own point. There's a show on right now called "Glee" that's doing everything wrong by becoming so one-sided and preachy in the same matter as this movie thus sucking out all the humor in the process.

And oh yeah shoving a bunch of popular teen sayings into your script does not equal a well written script. I don't mind Tina Fey as an actress but I don't dig her writing no matter how many awards she has gotten for it.

April Showers (2009)

Better than 'Elephant' in some way but not in others

[5/10 · 26 June 2010]

I had a similar experience as reviewer "ANightToRemember" where I first saw this in theaters and thought it was great, but after repeated viewings the film had cringiness here and there.

On the upside, the writing and direction are better than in most school shooting films, I've seen. However, this film commits many of the similar crimes that 'Elephant' does in that it takes a way too artsy approach. I don't believe that school shootings make a good subject when doing an artsy independent film regardless of who's behind it. I would've preferred this had been a bigger budget studio production though many would disagree. Andrew Robinson does a good job with this even though he offers nothing new on the subject of Columbine that we didn't know already. Tons of survivor books have been released over the decade since Columbine and various film interpretations of school shootings in general have been done. This one bears the most similarities however to the real Columbine though not of the same decade.

Another thing I'm not a fan of here are the characters. The only character in the entire film I enjoyed watching was Jason. But I had a hard time getting into Sean as the main lead. For a film directed by a Columbine survivor, he definitely over-exaggerated in various areas or bordered on the unrealistic. I personally thought villainous portrayal of the media was a bit of an overkill. I also never believe that a teacher would butt into a student's love life the way that drama teacher does.

Anyway I don't mind that the film keep its POV on the survivors but it doesn't make it better as film. Different yes, but this film is easily dismissible as another standard school shooting film for the bin.

Prop 8: The Musical (2008)

A weapon against hate? Try harder next time.

[2/10 · 15 May 2010]

First of all: I'm not religious and I fully support and sympathize with gays and their right to marry.

Now that that's outta the way. I will say this about "Prop 8 the Musical". It's lame...really lame and incredibly disappointing. And this was done by Hollywood celebrities nonetheless.

The problems are many but I am aware of it's intent. The bitterness and upset of many who are gay and their supporters is felt too strongly in this three minute short that it leaves no room for anything clever or original. Villainizing Christians as hate spreaders? Yawn, I can go out into the street right now and find 100 people with that exact same sentiment. This is basically saying everything that everyone else has been saying about their hatred for Prop 8 since it passed. Wasting all this time, production, and money on making this musical, which doesn't do much but entertain musical lovers, is kinda pointless. The money could've been better spent on a more dynamic campaign against Prop 8. I personally believe that Prop 8 passed because people were too focused on whining about the Proposition instead of working on a stronger campaign to fight back against it. So now we have even more whining, scapegoating, and now this musical...which is far too little, too late.

Also the quality of this short is quite bland and reminds me of a very mediocre Saturday Night Live sketch. Makes me wonder if this was done by SNL writers because if it was, then I guess that explains everything.

This is not meant to be harsh against gays or their supporters in any way but I feel there is too much whining/blaming and too little real effort when it comes to fighting for their rights.

Ever After: A Cinderella Story (1998)

Eh...

[5/10 · 27 April 2009]

I'm female and I was a teenager when this came out. Technically, I'm about the target audience for this film, but I didn't like it. A bit boring and depressing for me to watch.

I'm also find these sorts of butt-kicking but intelligent and day-dreamy feminist heroines to be very annoying. I find it hard to believe that a heroine whom we are supposed to believe is capable of taking care of herself would put up with so much **** in the movie by her stepfamily than she did. If this girl is capable of kicking a guy's butt near the end of the movie then this same girl should've been capable of kicking her stepfamily to the curb...but then again, we wouldn't have the Cinderella story that is the whole point of this film.

I absolutely hated Prince Henry and it's hard to believe that anyone could fall for him (or that he could suddenly have a change of heart in a split second). And yeah there is the issue of characters that are supposed to be French but have English accents, but when you're making a film targeted toward teenage girls, I guess these filmmakers thought they could get away with just about anything.

As for me I found this interpretation of Cinderella to be so boring and lifeless I couldn't care less. Nothing wrong with a little magic and character like the classic Disney animated version has over this one.

High School Musical 2 (2007 TV Movie)

Sharpay saves this film!

[6/10 · 17 August 2008]

"High School Musical" was a fun classic film. It's such a terrible shame that Disney is milking the franchise for all it's worth because it will only hurt the franchise more in the end.

I don't blame Disney for doing a sequel. The story and character development though is a bit stale and cliché, like being in dull standard DCOM territory. I've been listening to the soundtrack to this film nonstop before I finally saw the movie and it is the best soundtrack ever. However the actual performance of these songs in the film is less to be desired.

"What Time Is It?" and "Work This Out" were the worst musical sequences in matters of dance and direction. They're good songs on the soundtrack but on screen I was like...ugh...Troy's dancing! I think you can do more visually with these musical numbers then see Troy do bad break dancing in one spot for a whole 3 minutes! "What Time Is It?" was just ridiculous and over the top given that this is coming fresh off of HSM which had more genuine and more realistic musical numbers. Here it is just like "the music is playing everyone start doing a ridiculous dance infront of the camera!" As I said about story and characters, they're not so great as the original but you just need to have fun with it as even more unrealistic as this film is compared to the film.

I will say this: Sharpay was evil and became more of a stereotypical snobby blonde character in this film as she attempts to steal Troy from Gabriella, but goddamit SHARPAY IS AWESOME IN THIS MOVIE!!! All the other characters in the film were a bit more "smug" in this film (much to my annoyance) but Sharpay was just fun and hilarious in her attempts to steal Troy. And it was good to see more development with Ryan's character.

All in all, the soundtrack to the movie is actually better than the movie itself. Though, I enjoyed this film as bad it probably is, mainly because of Sharpay's character. The story and musical numbers became less annoying near the end. If you're a fan you might as well watch and just have fun with it. It ain't the best but I'd rather watch this again than "Camp Rock".

High School Musical (2006 TV Movie)

A fun film in that fluffy cheesy sorta way

[8/10 · 11 August 2008]

First off, lemme just say that I don't know what's with all the review hate for this film, but I am gonna assume that it's all for the intentional lowering of the film's rating. Honestly folks you expect far too much from this film is you think it is the worst film you ever saw. IT'S A FREAKIN Disney CHANNEL FILM, A MADE-FOR-TV FILM! Any film that has ever been made for TV, especially on a family network on Disney, is never gonna be good or daresay brilliant. And I've seen a ton of these DCOMs despite being older than the target audience and most of the films/shows on Disney Channel really are crap with their predictable plots and clichéd characters and bad actors with pop singing. "High School Musical" is somewhat like this but it turned out to be a more interesting film than its DCOM branding would imply.

It's of course, nowhere near a realistic film, but when has anything on Disney Channel have been realistic? The film's style and format can pretty much go with any other horrid DCOM like The Cheetah Girls and Cadet Kelly so to compare "High School Musical" to any film outside of the DCOM sector is expecting a bit too much.

But the film has an interesting depth or "meaning" to the story. A jock and a braniac discover a secret passion for singing which is outside both of their cliques' lifestyles. But when word gets out that they auditioned and made callbacks it causes a ripple effect in the school which is both scary and hopeful where the walls of high school cliques began to crumble and people began to share secret passions that are completely outside of their own little world. This is the first time I've seen this kind of optimistic message in a DCOM where most other films are pretty much "Being yourself really means If you're a nerd, stay a nerd" of that "jocks are really idiots and nerds are better, they just don't know it" and other repetitive annoying crap like that. "High School Musical" really won me over, because despite the fact that it is typically clichéd here and there and the musical numbers are more pop than showtune (remember this is a DCOM after all, what do you expect?), the messages in the film are positive and gives this DCOM a fresh look because of it.

The only unpreventable flaw I had with this film is simple enough: After seeing this film I thought "well I actually liked that film, therefore it's not gonna be popular". Oh how wrong I was! Can we say overmarketed insane junior-high-girl targeted franchise? It kinda causes me to withdraw from things I like when something becomes too popular to the point that it's annoying. People in the U.S. became obsessed with anime, and now I cant enjoy it like I used to. Oh well. What can ya do?

This film gets a 7 because it is a fresh and interesting DCOM with some catchy pop tunes. I'm adding another star (for 8) because Sharpay and Ryan really steal the show as the antagonists of the film whose antics are more comical than cruel, plus I can relate to being around Drama kids who are so snobby and bitchy like Sharpay. Lol.

About a Girl (2007–2008)

Disney Channel style comedy with an adult flare

[6/10 · 25 January 2008]

This is a very weird show. It's The N's first stab at a comedy series instead of a teen drama. When you watch it at first you may go insane and think "wow the acting sucks, the writing sucks, everything about it sucks". I think if you watch it enough you learn to tolerate it. It's a comedy after all. It's not suppose to take itself seriously.

But it's really weird because the writing, the acting, and the characters themselves sound like something you would find on the Disney Channel except on this show you will usually hear a cuz word or two and yes plenty of sexual innuendo and liaison jokes meant for an older audience. Of course this is a Canadian series so it can easily attract a younger audience. I'm an American and this show would most likely get a 14 rating in the States as opposed to a PG rating in Canada.

There's all the usual cheesy fluff you would find in a usual romantic comedy sitcom...the predictable main character ship, the blond antagonist, the dorky best friend...etc etc. I watch the show cuz it's set in college. I guess it's not all that bad, but if you're not use to a comedy for any audience with a lot of fluff and a possibly annoying female lead, then proceed with caution.

A Cinderella Story (2004)

fortunately for this film...I've seen worse

[5/10 · 8 June 2005]

A Cinderella Story turned out to be exactly how I envisioned it in my mind mentally. It would be a waste to pay $5 to see a movie that tells itself. You'd think that it should be getting really really low marks for being cheesy, stereotypical, and clichéd (some of which seem off the wall). But then there are other tween targeted films like this one and when I saw those films I pretty much flipped. I'm talking about films like "Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen" "Raise Your Voice" and "Sleepover".

Parents, please take my advice: if you are gonna show your daughters at least one badly written and overly clichéd teen film where the underdog girl gets her man...by all means make it this one. Yes I mean it. Despite how stupid this film may seem, it is the only one that stands out from the other teen films...mainly in the heroine. Sam is honest and brave and nothing like the other girls in those other films. You actually feel sorry for Sam when she is ridiculed by others (becuase YOU KNOW she didn't deserve it unlike the other teen flick heroines).

And of course every character you expect to see in a teen flick makes an appearance here. There are actually more snobby rich-bitch characters in this film compared to the others, but other than that you can expect every character and even "cliche moments by characters in a teen flick" to be found. If you have seen other teen flicks you would spot these moments right away. I did enjoy that one really nerdy character (Terry?). Although, I wished he had more of an actual part in the actual story (but then again it's normal to see half of a cast in a teen movie to have no actual part in the story. They're just there to represent their stereotype.) Oh yeah RNMorton does make a good point: If a teen flick is set in California, this kind of cruelty towards others is bound to flourish.

And you know sometimes is good to see a badly clichéd film and make fun of it. A Cinderella Story is perfect for that too. Drinking game, anybody? ;)

All Grown Up! (2003–2008)

Too heavy on morals, Too light on originality

[31 January 2005]

I never saw the original special that started it all. I think it would've been better had this series not been made.

Every episode I've seen stresses too heavy on the morals. Well it's a kid show, I suppose that's normal. But everything is recycled, and the main antagonists are those so-called cool kids that are nothing but assholes. "We say it's cool." That is so retarded! And that episode where Kimmy doesn't find out until she's like 12 or something that she's Japanese and wants to be more Japanese: #1 I don't think kids are that stupid and would know what ethnicity they are before they get too old #2 The moral of the episode seems to discourage having an interest in one's own true culture which really upsets me.

There's a desperate cry for work on writing and characters. Among all things Dil is a FULL clone copy of Carl from "As Told By Ginger" another unoriginal show, while the rest of the cast only bear some similarities to other characters in personality.

I'm not some freak who thought that this series was a bad idea from the start. I had hopes for it, but when I realized while watching how much of it has been done to death, I was outraged.

The show lacks fantasy and wonder which was what makes The Rugrats special, nothing like its spin off at all.

Sleepover (2004)

You know, I really need to stop wasting my money on Movielink!

[1/10 · 9 January 2005]

I really think it is rather pointless to go down the enormous list of grand immorality and deceit that was in this film to say the least.

I will however note two of the following things.

SPOILERS: 1. The fact that Julie actually confesses about leaving the house to her mom and actually goes without being grounded makes me want to bang my head on something.

2. If you wanted to see this film just to see who wins there really was no point because the TV commercials for this film actually spoiled the very end of the movie for you by showing who ended up at the dumpster table.

Seriously, this was a bad waste of money for me, as was "Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen" but I cant drive so I was forced to give into Movielink's poor ripoff deals. My problem is that it's hard to resist these tweenies film because I so enjoy observing how thick the stereotypes are and how Cinderella like the story is. Heck Julie even uses the term Cinderella in the movie.

I must say: Julie is a total retard. She complains about how she'll never get notice while thousands in every school across the nation think the same. And if you really wanna know what's it like to not be notice I suggest you go to my old high school where the student capacity exceeded 3600 and rising.

Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (2004)

Oh...my...god (Warning: too long & with spoilers)

[1/10 · 7 December 2004]

I am not a mother. Nor am I a Christian. But I knew before I even got halfway through this film that Lola is the antichrist! HAHAHA. Seriously, I expected this film to be as bad as "A Cinderella Story". Folks this is not just bad…this must be the most immoral film to ever be done by Disney! I am speechless as to how wrong this film was, I must write a looooong rant!!!

Lola is the worst Disney protagonist ever! She is in no ways different from Carla. Lola is just as self-centered and worse, she lies. At least 99% of what Carla does in this film she earned without lying. I felt so sorry for Ella. She allowed someone like Lola, who only cares about doing what it takes to take over the popularity circuit, to tell her how to live her life just because she is not popular herself. Every minute I'm like "Ella, please, please, snap and just bitch-slap her!" I was disappointed when all we got from Ella was a fit about Lola lying about her father which died in a few minutes.

Now in "A Cinderella Story" when Sam got humiliated you knew she didn't deserve it from day one. But you cannot tell me that when we get to 'Lola's Low Point' that she did not deserve it! But then again, the whole band thing was unbelievable. I would've been like…so you may or may not have met some rock star…who cares? And she almost loses her part in the play and decides to go home and cry about just because no ones believes her. OH BOO-HOO. WHY DIDN'T ELLA SLAP HER BACK TO REALITY THEN?!!! And Lola and Ella's obsession with that band is just messed up…it almost made me sick.

How can Ella and Sam survive being around Lola for one second without being wierded out?!! What made me even angrier was that Sam was in love with her. Sam deserves someone better, not a lying selfish, not to mention weird, bitch who thinks that everyone's a retard so getting what she wants wont be difficult!

Then I smirked as we got near the end when you know that Disney was just putting in stuff to cover up this evil character…like telling a rock star he's drunk and get him on rehab the next day? OH PLEASE!!! This I learned from reality: 99.9% of all people who get drunk WILL DENY IT!

Oh yeah, and no tweenie film would be complete without the whole "believe in yourself" phrase. It worked for "A Cinderella Story" because it was actually relevant to the plot. They just tossed the phase somewhere near the end of this film…and then pulled off their own 'Cinderella-ending'. And we don't even know if Lola learned to stop treating people like retards. The ending has some okay moments but some bad ones (No, Sam! Stay away from Lola!!!)

So as bad as most tweenie films are, this should've never seen daylight. Girls do not learn to believe in themselves (or that drinking is wrong). They learn to believe in the idea that they can get whatever they want because the world revolves around them (that sounds kinda like Disney right now!)

In my opinion this would've worked better as a PG13 rated parody flick with lots of teen sex. It amazes me that "Mean Girls" was a lot more believable and moral despite being made for older audiences. As for what "Confessions" was originally intended to be…it has failed in every spot, not to mention become the worst influence on adolescence, period. Funny because the stereotypes in "Confessions" were low compared to other films.

Charlotte's Web (1973)

How is this a classic? The animation is terrible!

[26 November 2004]

I've been hearing lots of great things about this film and have been anxious to see it. But then two names completely destroyed the film: Hanna/Barbera.

EB White was right to be upset. Something like Charlotte's Web deserved a higher quality than what we got. There is no way this could have been an animated classic from the early 1970s. it looks like a cheap cartoon from the 1950s. The humans were poorly done and the characters were hardly believable. Fern's drama queen act annoyed me. Some of the songs were just not fit for the film "Something More" and especially "I Can Talk" bothered me (like this was really meant to be a kids only film). I was shocked to learn that this is the award winning Sherman brothers, but at least they wrote "Zuckerman's Famous Pig", a classic that shall live on in my head.

I guess I set the bar too high. I was hoping for something that was brilliantly animated and welcoming to all ages. What I got what a cheap kiddie musical with bad acting and terrible animation. Reading the novel should prove more satisfying than this.

Unfabulous (2004–2007)

Nothing new here.

[7 October 2004]

Just caught an episode of this last week. I was led to believe it was a musical series were the main character Addie, does a lot of singing. Then I realized that a TV series where people would sing all the time can get old really quick. That's what happened to TNBC's All About Us.

Anyway, Addie is a very confident singer. Whether or not she's bad is based on whether or not you think all girls who reached puberty are supposed to be good singers.

But there's really not a lot of singing at all. You just get like a minute of it per episode. The only original thing about Unfabulous is that each episode starts out with a problem and the rest of the episode is a flashback leading up to that problem and then there's a solution in the end.

I dunno if this is worth watching all the time. Eventually, Unfabulous will be crammed into that pile of many preteen shows that follow that basic teen girl formula: a girl with one best girl friend and one best guy friend (note that one of these friends has to be other than white), a sibling of the opposite sex, stereotypical classmates, and multiracial teachers that are young and hip and other elements we know by heart from watching too much TeenNick and ZoogDisney.

Feel free to give this a few episodes, but if you don't like the Lizzie McGuire formula, be warned of what this show is capable of wearing out into.

Phil of the Future (2004–2006)

Unique premise that goes NOWHERE.

[6 October 2004]

Okay, now that I have seen the original pilot for this show I can tell you what I think.

First off that first episode 'The Weapon of Math Destruction' is actually a lot different from the rest of the many episodes I seen. Whoa, whoa whoa! Keely was the popular girl?! I had no freaking idea! And we're supposed to believe that Phil and his guy friend (I don't know his name cuz he doesn't appear on the show that often) are at the bottom of the social ladder? Does this school not have nerds or something?

I was completely shock and still disappointed by the pilot. First off, the series begins long after the Diffys have settled down on earth and are preparing to send the kids to school. Your only chance of seeing the story before the story was in the show's previews that appeared a lot on the Disney channel. Still, this is a poor way to start the series since we, the audience, remain so utterly confused. I'm still shocked that Keely is supposed to be the popular girl since she seems to act like Phil is her only friend and she's just a weird yet likable character in general.

The series goes on, taking the same old teen fluff formulas and Lizzie McGuire sound effects to incorporate into the episodes. The problem lies in the fact that Phil of the Future forgets to be about a boy from the future. Once the series gets deeper you'll find that it's an Even Stevens with the exceptions of a caveman, a clueless father, and futuristic inventions in each episode. Speaking of which, doesn't the dad even try to fix the time machine anymore? The same elements are used in every episode, especially the futuristic inventions. Okay people, are we to assume that the Diffys were carrying THAT MUCH stuff in their time traveling machine?

While the episode continue to be about fitting in at school and rivalries or about friends, other original ideas of episodes could've been incorporated into the show, like attempts to get the machine working or encounters with other time travelers, or using their knowledge of what they know will happen after 2004 or people stalking the Diffys because they think they might be aliens. Hmm…maybe the Diffys would've been more interesting as aliens. Also you don't see enough of Pim's attempts for world domination as some character summaries implied. I love the whole Pim and Deborah rivalry. But everything about Phil and the parents is just completely unoriginal and boring.

What I'm trying to say is that this show had a really unique and original idea from the start. The problem is that they do very little with it and they throw you off from the very beginning…especially since episode one didn't air until like 2-3 weeks after Phil of the Future premiered on the Disney Channel. No wonder people are so confused! It's official: the Disney Channel does not know the meaning of "AIR THE PILOT EPISODE FIRST!!!!"

Braceface (2001–2006)

I'm surprised that this is on Disney channel. Here's why:

[18 September 2004]

First off, I agree with the majority here, this has little to do with braces and more to do with being a preteen. (sigh) Originality is dead but what can you do with the people running the entertainment industry these days?

I haven't seen much of the show but I've been to www.tvtome.com to check out what these episodes are about. And people, I think parents especially, will be shocked and appalled at the material that Braceface covers: periods, homosexuality, and alcoholism! Yeah yeah, we can find plenty of this on classic TNBC. However this show is on Disney Channel...not smart...not a smart move at all. Braceface, compared to other preteen fluff can sometimes go a little too deep into adult issues furthering the gap between adults and children that Disney never meant to create but it did. Putting this show on the Disney channel (a channel once meant for family) will only create controversy.

But then again, ABC Family calls themselves a family channel despite the amount of R rated films they show. What a messed up world this has become!

As for the show itself, its a Lizzie Mcguire wannabe minus the whole brace deal. Connor doesn't seem to hang out with Sharon and Maria as we are to believe. Its focus is too much on Sharon and Olden getting together. We spend very little time getting to know her family (well except her older brother). The only episode that really surprised me was the one where Nina saved Sharon's life. And Maria Wong represents the typical best friend who's a bit too selfish. ARGH!

In closing: please put this back on ABC Family and leave it there. We must save the Disney Channel!!!

It's a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie (2002 TV Movie)

Too cheesy...even for The Muppets

[17 September 2004]

If you tire of "It's a Wonderful Life" copycats around Christmas time, then you don't want to watch this...because it's exactly what it is.

It's very unoriginal in terms of story (I was hoping for something BUT a Wonderful Life copyoff). Basically the Muppets run a theater (unlike that of Muppets Tonight, since this is a post Muppets Tonight TV film...or should I say 2hour special) in danger of being bankrupted on Christmas. Alongside the muppets is you stereotypical villain: a greedy banker at Christmas time who wants to do nothing but bad things. And a nerdy misfit angel who comes to the rescue. Yeah...uh where's Jim Henson? Oh yeah he's dead. No wonder this was so lame!

The only likable elements are the parodies and spoofs. Unfortunately the storyline of this movie was so terrible and so predictable that they were hard to notice and you only care about watching the end to find out (yes, indeed a "Wonderful Life" copyoff crossedover with a bit of "Hey Arnold: The Movie"). If you seen the Hey Arnold movie then you know that the endings to that and this are no different.

The lessons taught are bankers are evil, cheerful people around Xmas time are good guys, and life is worth living. I want a new kind of Christmas movie/special for once! Something different! But trust me, this ain't it.

Lord knows how NBC got its hand on the Muppets for this temporary amount of time, but I seriously hope that ABC does better with the Muppets with its Oz movie next year. If not, then I demand you take me back to the golden age of Jim Henson...I'm talking about the late 70s and 80s!!!

As Told by Ginger (2000–2009)

What was the point in animating this?

[17 September 2004]

I enjoy watching these 2000 preteen shows for the sake of laughing at how stereotypical they are. "As Told By Ginger" is indeed one of them, but I ask you: why did they waste their money animating this? There are no robots, no magical creatures, no cutesy talking animals. This shouldve been live action. Heck, despite how ugly the animation, the characters are live action! Not literally but they can be easily be imagined up as live action.

But yeah, this show is what it is. Repetitive. If I wanted to see a show about a girl with a few friends trying to fit in, avoiding a rich snob, trying to win the heart of a jock, and have a annoying little brother whose story lines take up half of every single episode...sorry I already got "Lizzie McGuire".

Balto (1995)

best to enjoy during a depression

[23 August 2004]

I was 12 when the movie first came out on video and I was greatly disappointed. Only someone like myself who has Asperger's Syndrome would flip over the film's 99% historical inaccuracy. If one were to do a report on Balto using this film as a source, they would no doubt give an F.

I've gave brief notes on why it what was inaccurate before so here I go again, just to let to let ya know.

1. I don't think Balto was ever part wolf. There are only very few sources that indicate he was but on the other hand most of the big and juicy sources on the real Balto never mention his wolf side. Plus it is also confusing as to what breed he was (husky or malamute?) But I guess Universal needed a way to get the plot going, why not make Balto a part wolf outsider they say. I'm sure people didn't totally trash on part wolfs in Alaska but they weren't fully trusted either. The film along with it's inferior sequel does a good job of digging into Balto's wolf side.

2. The idea of one team going from Nome and Nenana and back is ridiculous. No one sled team would survive such a feat in early 20th century winter. The whole ordeal was actually a sled relay where the medicine was transferred over to different teams at certain stops. it's much more convenient if I say so myself and thus more dogs and people were involved in the great antitoxin run than you think. The real Balto's greatest contribution was being the leader of the team to arrive in Nome with the medicine. He didn't do much else that could be story telling worthy.

3. No team got lost in the way the movie puts it.

4. I highly doubt that the musher was Gunnar Kasson, who should've had a big role in the movie, mind you.

I'm concerned that the movie may have been just a marketing ploy. ALL the animals in the film play out as no more than a high school underdog tale. Come on, it's obvious from knowing the characters!

Another thing that bothered me was that Balto was being treated more of an outcast than you could buy. He's a handsome dog, not surprising that at least Jenna (a very feminine character) would take interest in him. Oh who am I kidding, all the characters, except Balto were cardboard characters placed there to kill time.

It didn't surprise me that the film got dark with the whole race to Nome but I think it became darker than it should've been. I say a lot more crueler. Balto doesn't lay a hand on Steele when he beats the crap out of him for trying to get the medicine. Yet Steele never tries to get the team moving again. And despite saying that Steele was going a bit overboard with beating up Balto, none of the other sled dogs tries to stand up to him.

In the high school underdog realm: Nikki, Kaltag, and Star would be the bullies 2D sidekicks. Who just happen to be as fast as Balto, go figure.

The reason for the review title takes place in high school. Man, was I depress 24/7, I think the Balto phase began to kick in with the upcoming video sequel. Now instead of a disappointing marketing ploy Balto seemed to be more of an inspirational tale.

Depending on your POV Balto could be considered a little bit selfish. *SPOILER* He's so obsessed with the idea that his speed could make him a hero and allow him to become as popular of a sled dog as Steele. Even Boris thought Balto was losing it. And then you got what happens after "winning" the fight with Steele. Balto ends up becoming no better than him and the team is once again in the same situation it was before. The moment of redemption comes in the film's most memorable scene (which kinda reminds me of The Lion King's Mufasa's Ghost scene) when the white wolf appears. For the love of God, get the soundtrack! "The Heritage of the Wolf" is the best instrumental number that could come from a nonDisney film.

Balto had to learn to embrace his wolf side despite the fact that it makes him an outsider. It's a bit preachy for a kid but it really brought back his self esteem and he becomes less selfish and less of a show off.

Okay I gotta stop before this gets way too long. All in all, "Balto" can only be enjoyed depending on your portrayal of things. I have a better appreciation for Balto now than compared to being a child, despite its plain, even stereotypical, characters and too depressing and self centered moments.

To twistysnacks: My guess is that the movie folks didn't go to Alaska and do their research. They just depended on books and altered what didn't work.

Lizzie McGuire (2001–2004)

became tolerable with time

[7 August 2004]

I first heard of Lizzie McGuire and I am like "How can my older sister actually enjoy this garbage?" Yes it's the predictable teen show garbage which you may not seen much of if you don't have cable but you know its there.

That was my opinion of it at first but then I discovered that there are certain characters who stand out of their stereotypes with certain episodes.

I think the writers of this show kinda screwed things up with certain characters by making them one person in an episode and a completely different one the next. Just take a look at Kate for example. She has the power to spread rumors and get people to actually believe them in one episode but then in another becomes an innocent victim of her own plight (like the birthday party episode). And if you saw the movie you see how her character completely changed!

Ethan has been surprising. It took me a while to figure out that the attractive jock stereotype has this guy with an IQ which much resembles that of Kelly Bundy on Married With Children. Now here's where the shocking part about Ethan's character comes in: despite being the dumb and jocky girl magnet that he is, he has a tendency to be everyone's best friend. (DID ANYONE NOTICE HOW MUCH HE HANGS AROUND LARRY?! LARRY?!) In real life a nerd and a jock would not come anywhere near each other. He evens sits with Lizzie and her friends at lunch and these are the people who we are supposed to believe are the dorks in the show!!! It's unheard of! And yet a part of me is proud that Ethan's character does not turn out to be a jerk.

Gordon and Miranda? Now there are your real jerks! And Lizzie is friends with these people! I guess my sister likes this show because Gordo is 100% like her boyfriend. He's Jewish, into media and classic stuff like the Rat Pack and all. Sometimes however I find his character, as the logic and reason behind the group, to be annoying. Just because you are neighbors with someone all your life doesn't mean you have to be best friends with them. Gordo should've just hang with friends who actually shared his interests and not think of him as weird. Don't get me started on Miranda. When it comes to self centerers, she's a bigger jerk than two Kates and a Lizzie combined. Lizzie tries to tell Miranda 100 truths and every single time, Miranda bitches her off! And once the problem is resolved and the truth exposed, they become friends again. Oh no! I would not be friends with Miranda if she's gonna be like that!

Overall, Lizzie is pretty much a blonde Miranda (aiming for popularity, thinking that parents are lame, loves Ethan) with a few differences and that is revealed through her relationship with Larry. Yes, the reason why I hated this show at first was because of its "nerdsploitation". Then the episodes "Scarlett Larry" and "My Fair Larry" showed that at least Lizzie, the show's hero, was able to see past the stereotypes at certain times. She is much like Kate in that her character seems to change with every episode.

Show is lame, but you cant help but watch it so you can laugh at how it is so bad, it's worth watching!!! I only have one flaw past the stereotypes. I think there is too much Matt. Do you notice how 90% of these episodes have a center story on Lizzie and then a sub story involving Matt, and then the other 10% involves a combined Matt and Lizzie story?! They shouldve just called this the Lizzie and Matt McGuire show. Besides I only need like a minute or two in each episode to remind me that Matt is the prankster kid in the family. He doesn't need a whole 10 or 15 minutes of show time!!!

The rest of the flaws belong to Disney. When are they gonna realize that audiences are gonna be pretty damn confused if they keep airing their episodes out of order?!!!

Garfield: The Movie (2004)

I was already prepared for disappointment

[13 July 2004]

I was glad that they were finally making a talking cat film (as I tire of the talking dog ones) and about my all time favorite cartoon character at that. But keeping up with the animation news and trailers, I was one of many to protest against the idea of Garfield and the other animal characters moving their mouths as they spoke.

I have been a major Garfield fan. We all know that these past years have been weak for the franchise. The strips became less funny, the new formats of the compilation books became unoriginal. (Beginning with book 37 or 38 they decided to make normal shape compilation books). And the voice behind Garfield was lost back in August 2001. It is kinda strange that a major entertainment company like Fox would pick up Garfield and bring it back to life. Nonetheless I am glad that the TV shows and specials are finally coming to DVD.

According to many sources, Jim Davis advise on the making of the film. I do not think so. Because although you have some of Garfield's characteristics you do not have his personality and that was what made the comic strip pure gold. I knew a few great spots were a famous Garfield lines could've fit. Did the scriptwriters ever read a Garfield strip from the golden era? Heck no! Otherwise this movie would've been a lot better and they would've given second thoughts on the idea of moving mouths. I think it's because recent films like Scooby Doo, Cats and Dogs, and Babe overused the technique so the directors did not consider how well non-moving mouths worked for other films like Disney's Homeward bound. (They could've saved money but not using all of that CGI) Plus by having the characters in Garfield move their mouths you are only confusing the audience.

Ex: (not a big spoiler cuz its in many trailers) Jon and Garfield are at a desk when Jon sees a mouse. "A mouse. Get it Garfield" says Jon. Garfield turns his head up to Jon so they are making eye contact. "Get him, Jon," says Garfield. Funny Garfield gag but you are only confusing the audience by making them believe that Garfield can talk to Jon and vice versa.

Now the characters: Odie doesn't bother me because in the movie he still passes off as a dumb dog who gets lucky once in a while. My problem lies with the others. Of course we all know that Nermal was a silver tabby super cute kitten and not a siamese cat who is voiced with an African American stereotype. That's all I can say. In fact Nermal and Arelene were only there for show (I think only 5 minutes of screening time for the whole film). It's sad because I wanted to see Garfield and Arlene have a date scene. Otherwise there's no purpose for them.

I think they should've used the original Jon. I'm talking the-super-nerd-who-could-never-get-a-date-in-his-lifetime Jon. Now that would've brought laughs and loyalty to the original comics. And if you saw the movie, then I don't have to explain the problem with Jennifer's Love Hewitt's character (the problem with her costumer, maybe).

Sadly, I didn't laugh at one joke (or I don't recall a good joke from the film). The rest was too much for the 21st century kid without giving us an insight on the real Garfield from 1978 and up. There was too much rap music used in this film. Lou Rawls and Desiree Goyette should've sang some songs like they did for the specials.

That's all I can come up with. The plot line (like how Odie came to be) is not as important for this film as the characters. Bill Murray did well as Garfield and I applaud him for that, but the weakness lied in script and character development.

But for the sake of being a true Garfield fan, I will still get the DVD!