sylent1-9-193639 Reviews

Inside Man (2006)

Decent Cop Movie

[6/10 · 10 August 2014]

I thought the movie was entertaining...other than a few holes in the twists I found really hard to suspend my disbelief on. But hey, it was entertaining other than having probably the most annoying and inexplicable soundtrack. I can't imagine what the beginning and ending credit songs had to do with the movie or why anyone would choose them and face it- good movies have good soundtracks, good camera work and good acting. Well, whoever picked out the soundtrack was a total moron. Other than that it wasn't Ripley's Believe it or Not, it was a cop show designed to entertain and it entertained me. Having said that I have said all that needs to be said. I used 10 lines to do it in but when I previewed it I only had five lines. Please, IMDb. get your head out. Most movies can be summed up in five lines and what a person writes should not be reduced when previewed.

A Night in Old Mexico (2013)

Decent Movie

[8/10 · 17 May 2014]

I doubt I've ever seen a Robert Duvall movie that was not worth watching and the same can be said of this one. Duvall plays a cranky old coot not ready to take up the rocking chair and I hope he isn't ready for a long time. A decent premise to the movie and several places that make you smile. If you like crotchety hard-headed old folks this is the movie for you. While in all respects a slow movie I didn't regret a minute. I wish IMDb didn't require ten lines for a review because I doubt I've had ten lines to say about any movie.But it's nice to be able to give one a good review, one that isn't cr*p found footage and one where the acting enabled the suspension of disbelief for a couple hours.

Best Night Ever (2013)

More Handcam Crap

[2/10 · 8 April 2014]

When is Hollywood going to realize that five things are necessary in good cinema: great camera transitions and camera work, a good soundtrack,interesting sets,a convincing premise-one that enables you to suspend disbelief, and good acting. A camera artist can suggest someone making love by a slow pan to a window sill,can change sets by panning to a tree. Camera work is an art and one that I especially enjoy in movie entertainment. It's time to throw the young turks with their belief that you can make good cinema with a handcam out on their ears. Good camera transitions have identified good cinema since.....Citizen Kane. And even light romcoms benefit from good camera work.

A good soundtrack establishes how you FEEL during the scenes and are especially important to the finale of the movie. Interesting sets can make the dullest movie more enjoyable. And a good premise combined with good acting can enable you to suspend disbelief in the wackiest movies- can make you believe in elves and dragons for a short time. Just saying-throw the handcam away....or give it to a family with a kid and get back to REAL cinema where the sum of each artists work is revealed in the whole.Anyone that makes movies any other way is wasting their time and yours.

Tuck Bushman and the Legend of Piddledown Dale (2009)

Total Crap

[1/10 · 23 March 2014]

Pretty much what I've come to expect out of Aussie cinema....either too =====

stupid to watch or depressing enough to make you want to open a vein.I ------- made fifteen minutes in this movie before turning it off. My grandkids ======= would have done a much better job. Anyone that said this ridiculous ---------- drivel was funny had to be getting a salary from it. I've seen stupid ------- Aussie comedy before but this was the worst I have ever seen. Some will ------- get defensive about this review and say 'it's just not for American ----------- audiences....well, too right, mate....even stupid Americans would find ----------------- this crap tedious.It wasn't worth ten lines but someone had to tell the ------------- truth.

Living by the Gun (2011)

Not Worth the Time it Takes to read the Title

[1/10 · 24 January 2014]

OK I love westerns, even BAD westerns but c'mon this has got to be the WORST acting in ANY movie ever made. Anyone that said ANYTHING good about this movie was getting paid. I managed five minutes and I wanted that back...and change. This is an insult to anyone that watches movies. If you manage ten minutes without fleeing even the sound of this then you are much more forgiving than I am. You had to be raised by your church going' grandma, against the death penalty. a tree hugger and be in line for sainthood to find anything redeemable in this movie INCLUDING the beginning credits. The entertainment industry must have a lot of money stashed somewhere to invest or distribute this chestnut. Watch a rerun of Rifleman....but leave this stinker where it lays.

Vikings (2013–2020)

Not Enough

[5/10 · 21 December 2013]

I want to start by saying I really like this series...but like so many made for TV sagas like Game of Thrones, nine shows a year just doesn't cut it. When someone is telling me a good story I don't WANT to wait a year to see what happens. I understand bigger productions take longer to craft..but face it-these series die because people stop caring. Nine or ten episodes a year is pretty ridiculous and TV producers that adhere to this schedule might have a great year....but they will lose a large portion of their fan base by the next year. It's a shame that such good material is allowed to gather dust for 41 weeks hoping that people will be still waiting to see what happens to a show they no longer remember. I could care less about historical accuracy. If I want accuracy I'll do research in a library. This series is tops for entertainment....I just can't get past a 9 show season

Toad Road (2012)

Really?

[1/10 · 21 December 2013]

This movie had NO premise and NO plot. Just a jumble of people that get messed up-the kind everyone avoided in high school because they were embarrassing themselves. Then it throws in some urban legend that is nothing.I can't imagine someone spent money making this. It was like it was directed by some movie mogul's not-very bright freshman kid.This isn't cinema, art or entertainment....it's just nonsense.IT was bad, it was boring and it was a waste of time. I only write this review so that someone else might avoid wasting the time it takes to watch it because it wasn't worth reviewing.I'm stumped trying to write ten lines about it. Movies like these are traps without any redeemable qualities.

Don Jon (2013)

Bleh!

[2/10 · 18 December 2013]

Who knew there was a genre for shallow self-obsessed people? I suppose if hand held cam movies have a fan base, and movies about the freakishly stupid can find a place then a movie about a self-important barely sentient narcissist would have a following as well.I found nothing funny about this...unless clueless is funny and the entire premise is based on a guy you can't seem to admire and his conquests of a number of women of which only two were interesting - one determined that he should live for her....and the other unable to get past tragedy and live for herself. It was as if the ONLY two women in the world worth being with consisted of a manipulative, dominant egotist and an emotionally fragile woman that, though she wasn't without reason, cried all the time. Bleh!

Stories We Tell (2012)

Blah blah blah blah

[2/10 · 25 August 2013]

I'll admit I'm not much on documentaries that aren't about something that made the history pages....but the wandering dialogue about a morally ambiguous and arrogant woman and the lasting effects her actions had on her family hardly seems worthy of study unless you were embroiled in this tepid boring tale or unless you are a painfully boring member of the Canadian cinematic effete who somehow believes that their lives are interesting. Finally, someone has made the Kardashians look interesting. Keep your dirty underwear to yourself and ....get a REAL life. I couldn't imagine having a conversation with someone that found this interesting.

Agent Beetle (2012)

The worst movie ever made

[1/10 · 3 July 2013]

I swear this movie was made by 8 year olds. The director is talentless, the scriptwriter, illiterate, and the actors and actresses couldn't get employment in the hand-held cam porn industry.The fight scenes were outshone by the fight sequences in the old batman series or early star trek series. This movie was the WORST waste of time I have ever engaged in. IF ANYONE involved with this movie is EVER in another movie it is because they were filthy rich and bought their way in. That being said, whoever lined up the end credits did a good job and might have a future as a stenographer. Even if you are as forgiving as me this movie will make you want to search out people affiliated with it and beat them publicly.

Robin Hood (2010)

An enjoyable movie

[8/10 · 22 February 2013]

Personally, I think Ridley Scott is one of the great directors of our time. While not always historically truthful, he instead reaches to entertain and always has a unique vision of the myth or legend he attempts to portray.

As an expert archer Robin Hood would not have been a knight but rather a yeoman and this insight set the flavor for Scott's version. And while the battles might not have been historically correct it IS true that France suffered it's greatest defeat to England due to the use of the longbow decimating the flower of French knighthood. All in all an interesting take on an old legend. Some will like it....some will prefer the traditional version. If anything Scott crafted a much more believable tale with more human and realistic characters.

No Country for Old Men (2007)

I can't imagine a worse movie (Spoilers)

[1/10 · 8 December 2012]

What a TERRIBLE movie. It made no sense, the villain looked like a Mexican Xanax addict and his weapon of choice was a compressed air tank with a inch and a half fixed bolt kill gun. Not only could he not have CAUGHT me (and I'm OLD) every time he tried to hit me between the eyes with the kill gun i'd just move my head. The movie ends with him having an accident, buying a t shirt from a young boy and wandering off/ cut to Tommy Lee Jones sitting at a breakfast table rambling about some dream he had about his father...what? Anyone that liked this movie is either easily influenced by the hype generated by a desperate Hollywood or from a different planet. I seriously considered typing ten lines of "This movie isn't worth five lines".

The Details (2011)

Hardly Comedic

[3/10 · 28 November 2012]

Perhaps I lack the misanthropy to find humor in this movie, but aside from everything seeming to have spun from a battle with raccoons I didn't see anything humorous about it. I have to wonder at the type of person that would find the events in this movie even darkly comedic. Maybe it was my present mindset, yet I cringed through the entire movie. Unless you find coerced adultery with a batsh-t crazy woman and murder funny I wouldn't go in to this movie expecting laughs. It lacked even the vengefully humorous relationships of ..say "War of the Roses" something that I would consider darkly comedic. This merely plunged you deeper and deeper into despair. I'm NOT saying it was a BAD movie....just terribly misrepresented.

Beasts of the Southern Wild (2012)

a good movie

[7/10 · 22 November 2012]

I will admit to being heartily sick of the hand held cam genre. I, personally, like unique camera angles and innovative transitions. And good camera work is a large part of the artistic in cinema. But this movie benefited from seeming more a documentary. Don't ask me how. The little girl is awesome, otherworldly in her depiction. Some people will find it boring and it isn't for everyone, but for me it was dramatically realistic and well done. Every community has it's 'aurochs', boggy creek monsters, bigfeet, dogmen and the impression of a child makes them more acceptable if only for the suspension of disbelief for a child's sake.

I, Robot (2004)

An insult to Asimov

[1/10 · 25 September 2012]

After reading the reviews of this movie one can see that those that read Asimov and those that didn't fall into different camps. Those that don't read will probably love this movie- those that grew up with an Asimov book tucked under their arm will probably find it offensive. Will Smith was probably the most miscast actor in history in this movie. The fresh prince of Belair just had no place in Asimov's thoughtful attempt at determining man's future with robotics. The crass inclusion of a Converse commercial (vintage tennis shoes...seriously?) completed the rape of a really intelligent man's premise.

If the movie industry wants to whine about pirating their product they should be more careful about allowing director's to turn classic characters into something from the Cosby kids and, in the case of V for Vendetta, dystopic and disturbing anti-heroes into crusaders for gay rights. The fact that these men lack the imagination to do any thing more than corrupt the work of others should determine their suitability to choose their subject matter.

People Like Us (2012)

Good movie about learning to live with the mistakes others make

[8/10 · 21 September 2012]

I really didn't expect to like this movie. Dramedies usually seem soap opera-ish to me and I put this one off for awhile. But I'm glad I watched it. The plot was complex enough not to seem sappy and the characters were believable. The premise is not so hard to envision...at least not for me, and the way that everyone reacted to the situation was understandable. There really are no BAD people in the movie...just people like us that make mistakes and hopefully find a resolution as good as this one. I think it's a movie that a lot of people can relate to whether it's the struggle we all go through day to day or the relationships we often don't pay enough attention to. Top that off with a feel-good ending...and what's not to like? You can do a LOT worse with your movie dollars.

She Wants Me (2012)

I Wanted to Like It

[2/10 · 12 August 2012]

God knows I wanted to LIKE this movie...but the fact is none of the characters are even likable. The male lead is pathetic and needy, the female lead is manipulative and abusive. He writes a script about what happens to him day to day obviously and his life is uninteresting. No one should have to put up with what his girlfriend subjected him to daily and no one should be so needy that they would endure it. Most of the picture I just kept my eyes closed because I couldn't stand to watch these people's lives. I like indie movies...they are usually quirky and left field humorous. I didn't find any humor in this movie and I doubt I would have spent five minutes with any of the characters. Sorry. I really hate when someone trashes a movie, but if this the BEST idea someone could come up with for cinema then I can understand the volume of POV movies and found footage.I was in a good mood when I watched this movie but when it was over I felt like I had eaten something bad.

A Few Best Men (2011)

Wasn't the worst movie I've ever watched

[4/10 · 22 March 2012]

I usually like Brit humor and, to be honest, movies that make me cringe I don't usually find entertaining. Other than the most vomitous soundtrack I have ever subjected my ears to this was NOT as bad as some reviewers have indicated. I don't know why someone that is offended by low brow humor would even watch this kind of comedy. And I find it a LITTLE bit pretentious to expect this movie to be Henry James. For what it was it wasn't too bad. It was predictable in places and , I confess to cringing more than once, but I didn't expect some esoteric mind numbing voyage when I watched the movie and in that I wasn't disappointed. As one reviewer said it wasn't "Death at a Funeral" but I don't feel I have wasted hours of my life.

Chronicle (2012)

Could have been a really good movie

[4/10 · 13 February 2012]

Honestly, I am heartily sick of hand held camera, fake documentary Blair witch crap. When are film makers going to realize this is lousy cinema? I mean what do they do? Sit at home and watch reality TV? Enough is enough. The movie had some cool parts-NONE that would be enhanced by a hand held camera. Had it been presented as a movie instead of the dreary "I lack an imagination" documentary it could have been a really good super hero flick. If you, like I, are tired of The Blair witch, The River, fake documentary path cinema has taken this will be one more turn-off. The best I can say is watch the movie and try to enjoy what could have been a really good movie. There are some really cool parts in it....but they were not made better with a hand held camera..or a floating one.

Seven Days in Utopia (2011)

A really good movie queered by commercialism in the end

[3/10 · 6 December 2011]

I thought the movie was really good and would have recommended it outright to anyone but for the ending. I would have gone to see the sequel and been satisfied but the crass attempt to sell another book or make people go see the sequel left me without the desire to complete the journey. I prefer movies that have a satisfying conclusion-whether for good or bad and -this one just left me feeling the dupe of commercialism. The reason someone goes to see a sequel or buy a another book is because of the satisfaction they got from the original. Even a TV series episode must have a conclusion or risk losing an audience. Way to screw an ending, guys.