herumesueni Reviews

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)

Less a Harry Potter movie than an homage to Alfonso Cuarón

[1/10 · 30 August 2004]

This is the only HP movie to come out so far that I actually disliked. The biggest problem are the many unnecessary changes that Cuaron makes only becuase he wants to. If you don't know what I'm talking about, check out the Trivia section here at IMDB. There are two items listed as being "In honor of Alfonos Cuaron's Mexican Heritage" and not one but TWO director's cameos. More than anything that shows that Cuaron was more interested in himself than the work at hand.

There are major changes not only from the book but from the previous films. Many of the changes alter the overall "feel" of the movie. The sense of wonder that is maintained and fostered by the first two movies and all the books is replaced by one of foreboding and dread.

Overall, the film just falls flat because the director failed to understand the soul of the work.

Spacejacked (1997 TV Movie)

The score is what really kills it

[1/10 · 25 July 2004]

This is arguably one of the worst films ever produced. Not that Roger Corman is known for great film...but this is bad even for him.

There's some fun to be had in watching Bernson hamming it up as the hijacker. And the very un-androidlike behavior of the one android is laughable...especially when compared with the others on the ship. And the science is so incredibly bad it's beyond imagining.

But where this movie truly becomes pathetic is when the score is taken into account. There's one scene where one of the characters is killed, and another is basiclally screaming and having a nervous breakdown while a jolly liltiing clarinet solo plays over the scene. In fact, the entire score seems to be made up of jolly lilting clarinet solos and drum solos.

If you like the great bad movies like Plan 9 From Outer Space and Battlefield Earth...Spacejacked is one you can't miss.

Van Helsing (2004)

Plan 9 From Transylvania

[1/10 · 19 May 2004]

Okay, in all fairness, this film doesn't have quite the level of overall badness that made Plan 9 From Outerspace what it was. But it's definitely up there (down there?) with Battlefield Earth.

The special effects in Van Helsing are horribly lacking. The CGI (which is used way too heavily) is over used and LOOKS like CGI. Some of the CGI effects reminded me of Ray Harryhasuen's stop motion creatures from Jason and the Argonauts and the Sinbad movies. (by the way...the special effects in those old films were BETTER than in Van Helsing)

The action isn't really all that exciting. Part of the problem is that overuse of CGI...what's the fun in watching two animated characters doing battle with one another? Add to that just about every movement in the action scenes being telegraphed beforehand and you have a real lack of excitement(oh, look, wonder why those chains are there...gee, he's swinging from another on).

The script is extremely poorly written. When half the theater is laughing at what's obviously intended to be the most poignant scene in the film, it's not a good thing. Especially where they're groaning at all the (attempts at) humor. And what, exactly, killed one character? Heart attack? They even manage to make Dracula into the only really sympathetic character in the film...and I'm not sure Van Helsing isn't a serial killer.

On top of that, EVERY BIT of mythology about vampires and werewolves is completely thrown out the window.

This movie is just beyond bad. The only people who should see this are people who really love bad movies like Plan 9 and Battlefield Earth.

Die Another Day (2002)

This is James Bond?

[1/10 · 21 March 2004]

This is by far the worst Bond movie ever made. The title song, which I normally don't really care about, was awful. And it was probably one of the better parts of the film.

Every movie in the series has had an outrageous plot, but this one is just too unbelievable to be watchable. The bond gadgets, which are (again) always far out were just ridiculous in this film.

And...James Bond didn't ACT LIKE JAMES BOND. Since when does he drink mojitos instead of martinis? And he doesn't seem to be able to do anything right. He gets captured, he gets duped, he does everything wrong. It's as if the writers had never seen a james bond film before.

Bad Company (2002)

Not what I expected

[7/10 · 18 October 2003]

I don't really know what I expected from this film, but I certainly found much more than I had been looking for. Given that it stars Chris Rock, I did expect a great deal of irreverent, silly comedy. What I found, instead, was an interesting spy film and a very, very odd buddy picture.

The acting from both Rock and Hopkins is exceptional. The plot, while a bit thin, is interesting.

The film pulled me in and held me from beginning to end.

Dune (2000)

The Gutting of a Masterpiece

[1/10 · 10 August 2003]

If you have never read the classic science fiction novel this mini-series is based on, it may actually be good. Unfortunately, if you ARE a fan of the book, you probably won't be able to watch more than the first hour or two. All of the political intrigue has been taken out of the film, the most important scenes from the book have been taken out, characters motivations have been changed completely, and words from the wrong characters mouths. Where in the novel Paul Atredies was a teen age boy with incredible political skill and a great understanding of the way the world worked, in this film he is hot headed and and frustrated. Avoid this movie at all costs.

When You Comin' Back, Red Ryder? (1979)

An interesting ride

[10/10 · 29 July 2003]

The first 20 to 30 minutes of this film are almost intolerable, but once all the major characters come together it transforms into a considerably better film. Marjoe Gortner turns in an excellent performance as the psychotic Teddy. The characters are all well thought and dynamic, all stay true to their motivations, and the interplay between Teddy and Red, and Richard (played extremely well by Hal Linden) creates so much dramatic tension you can't pull yourself away from the screen.