Change Your Image
MrRockatansky
Reviews
Beyoncé: Life Is But a Dream (2013)
Me Me Me Me Me Me!!!!.......zzzzzzzz
Beyoncé is the star, executive producer, narrator, co-writer and co-director of this film, which pretty much tells you what the real purpose of this "documentary" is. Only the true "beylievers" could enjoy this, for only Beyoncé's biggest fans could look beyond the amount of superficiality and narcissism in this film. It's essentially just the film equivalent of taking lots of flattering pictures of yourself.
Beyonce talks into her laptop camera like a narcissist staring at them self in the mirror with complete delight and fascination while she desperately tries to make herself appear a deep and thoughtful artist, but fails miserably because she's actually just a manufactured pop star.
Despite the fact that she dances around in tight clothes and sings subservient songs about men putting "a ring on it", Beyoncé also seems to think she's an authority on feminism, saying: "It's not about equal rights; it's about how we think." Ironically, I am still thinking that one over.
There is also one moment where Beyoncé hilariously lacks perspective and complains that this current generation is too obsessed with image and superficiality, when this is a superficial documentary that she made in order to enhance her image.
The only thing I learned from this film is how surprisingly unintelligent Beyonce is.
Live Free or Die Hard (2007)
This is not Die Hard!!
Wow, what a kick in the nuts to the fans. Simply put, this movie is not a Die Hard movie. It's a second rate Bruce Willis action movie that they gave the "Die Hard" title in order to cash in on the fan base. Shameful. Bruce Willis, you should hang your bald head in shame, you sellout.
So where do I start with this mess.
The "plot" is about some super nerds having a tantrum and trying to destroy America with computers...or where they trying to steal something? Who cares. It was so uninteresting I tuned out when they started talking in their highly improbable computer jargon. Unlike the first 3 which take place over the course of several hours, this movie is set over several days which completely kills the adrenaline fuelled feel of the original films. And while the first three movies(Especially 1 &3) where clever, witty action thrillers, this movie is basically a bunch of mildly amusing action sequences strung together by bad dialogue and forgettable characters. Oh and the writers decided to throw in every cliché they could think of, just for good measure. They have the "Daddy saves kidnapped daughter" cliché. The "Tough guy with a nerdy sidekick" cliché which makes for totally hilarious comedy *yawn*. The "Tough kung fu Asian chick" cliché. They even threw in the old "35 year old computer nerd living in his parents basement" cliché. Where do they come up with this stuff!!
The main villain is dreadful. He looks like he's about to burst into tears any moment and you get the feeling he's more likely wet himself than harm anyone, which is exactly what you want in a villain, right? McClanes daughter is a total bitch who hates her dad for some reason which isn't explained. Bruce Willis drags his sorry ass through the film looking as though he wants to pick up his pay cheque and go home. And McClane is a completely different character from the McClane we know and love from the previous films. Get this. He even taunts the bad guys who are holding his daughter hostage. Seriously? The writers didn't even give McClane any good one liners, so instead he just whoops and cheers when he destroys something with total ease. Horah!
One of the worst things about this crap is the obvious teen and child pandering. When watching this film you can just picture the studio execs planning on ways to make it child friendly. Checklist...
* PG13.....(More money) * Plot about computers......(Kids and teens love that stuff) * Justin Long as sidekick......(Teens can relate) * Hot girl playing McClanes daughter......(For the teenage boys) * Silent Bob cameo.......(Bring in the stoner comedy crowd)
To sum up, this is a movie which should not have been made and is a Die Hard film by name only. It has been stripped of everything that made the original trilogy so good, and Its a dark cloud over a brilliant franchise.