bryandeth316 Reviews

1408 (2007)

Great Film

[10/10 · 22 June 2007]

First of all a few months ago, I wrote a review for Dead Silence. I don't remember a lot of what I said for that movie, but I do know that in a world of Saw, Hostel, and other movies that try to be horror but can't make the grade, I felt that Dead Silence was a breath of fresh air.

After watching 1408 I know that the REAL breath of fresh air is the amazing almost 1 man performance of John Cusack, as well as the great support work by Samuel L. Jackson and Mary McCormack.

This is a movie that not only made me jump at certain times like Dead Silence did, but it also made me legitimately scream out in fear of a particular scene involving John Cusack on a ledge on the 14th story of a building. I guess my fear of heights also had something to do with it.

This is a movie for guys to take women that they like to, so that when the real scary parts do kick in, the classic jump-into-your-lap-in-terror will happen.

Don't be fooled by the pansy PG-13 rating. It is very scary and even though I didn't read the Steven King book of the same name, I feel that this totally captures King's own personal sense of fear. I definitely give this 10 out of 10 because this is without a doubt one of the most frightening (and I mean that in a good way, not in a crappy slit your wrists because Showgirls sucks kind of way) movies to come out in a very long time.

So go and see it, enjoy it,and let's hope that maybe Hollywood can give us REAL horror movies instead of the cheap, lame wannabes that have disgraced our movie screens before this film came out.

Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters (2007)

Amazing, simply amazing

[10/10 · 14 April 2007]

From the introduction of the singing snacks to the end credits, you will be laughing. If you are a true fan of the Aqua Teens, then this is the movie for you. If you have never seen the show, but have heard good things, and you're out on a Friday night? Then you HAVE to go and see this movie.

And since my last review helped a guy get together with the woman of his dreams, here is my next string of advice; If you have a girl that likes to laugh, and she has a great sense of humor and just...a love of life...then you take her to those movie and she will laugh so hard that she will be putty in your hands most likely. This is the type of movie that you think is going to be stupid, and in a lot of parts it is incredibly. There's a lot of this movie that just comes out of left field and makes entirely no sense, but hey that's what makes The Aqua Teens so amazing.

And the "cameo" of Abraham Lincoln is definitely something worth seeing if you have a sense of humor. And hey, with the whole Don Imus thing, if you're into freedom of speech, and you aren't a tight ass, then this movie is going to probably make you pee your pants in laughter.

So yes, I rated this movie 10/10 because it's great. Sure, the critics may not give it the respect it deserves, but true fans will love it, and new fans will be born.

A wonderful film, go and see it.

Dead Silence (2007)

Not Too Bad

[8/10 · 16 March 2007]

I had no interest in seeing this movie, but my buddy wanted to see it so we went to go and see it. I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised. I wasn't so much scared, but it was indeed very creepy. This movie almost reminds me of Pennsylvania legend "Bloody Mary". Donnie Walberg definitely plays the guy you love to hate, and of course the ending is good. So hey if you want a good thriller, then I say check it out. If you know you're seeing a girl that's VERY jumpy, then guys definitely take her so she can jump into your arms because this is a good type of movie for that. Not as much gore as I would have liked, but it was definitely fun to see. And of course check out the Jigsaw Puppet.

Yes this is short, yes it's sweet but hey isn't less more?

Eragon (2006)

A HUGE Letdown

[1/10 · 3 March 2007]

I will keep this short and I will keep this sweet.

I am a HUGE fan of the Inheritence series. I think it is a very well written, very imaginative story and I think that Christopher Paolini is definitely a wonderful author. Why however he would let his brain child be destroyed and quite frankly ruined like this is beyond me. I was so excited to see this movie, I was ready to burst I was so anxious. Then, within 2 minutes, I was more angry than I should be at a movie. I have NEVER walked out on a movie before, NEVER. Not even when I went to go see Blue Chips starring Shaquille O'Neal and Nick Nolte, but I walked out of this movie. I just couldn't take anymore of one of my favorite stories being done such a disservice.

John Malcovich's performance was flat, Jeremy Irons was horrible, even Rachel Weisz who I am a pretty big fan of was terrible. The characters that were detailed so well in the book were given no respect what so ever. Angela the herbalist was done very horribly, and of course her were-cat friend Solembum wasn't even IN the movie as I could see since I walked out early, and Joed wasn't even mentioned. The movie's pace was awful, the script was awful, and of course the lead of the movie was cardboard at best. Horst the blacksmith was only referred to briefly and he seemed to only be the village drunk. Bad, bad, BAD adaptation. Paolini should have done like J.K. Rowling has done with the Harry Potter movies, how she has to approve everything first because Paolini's masterpiece was sullied.

DO NOT go and see this movie if you are a fan of the series. And if you are interested in getting into the series...DO NOT SEE THIS MOVIE! Or better yet, go see this movie and then read the book so you can see how it's really suppose to be.

American Pie Presents: Band Camp (2005 Video)

A Very Pleasant Surprise

[10/10 · 2 January 2006]

I was given this movie for Christmas by a very good friend. When she first told me she had gotten this for me, and that she hoped I hadn't bought it, I was tempted to say, 'Yeah, like I'd waste money on this piece of crap!' she brought it over, I popped it into the DVD player with zero expectations, figuring I could trade it in later.

I have just finished the movie and am I ever grateful that not only she got me this movie, but that I watched it. This movie is without a doubt an amazing edition to the American Pie series.

Our story begins with Matt Stiffler (Steve Stiffler's kid brother) trying so desperately to follow in his big brother's footsteps. We find out that Steve has become the next Larry Flynt as he is now prominent in the porno business. Matt and his fellow degenerates look up to Steve as if he were a god, doing their best to emulate the elder Stiffler. They decide during graduation to sabotage the band using pepper spray on their instruments to some amazing results, unfortunately for Mr. Stiffler Jr he's caught literally with his pants down.

Our favorite geek "The Shermanator" now a guidance counselor gives Matt an ultimatum; Band Camp, or Expulsion. The hijinks go from there.

Series veterans Eugene Levy and Chris Owen reprise their roles as "Jim's Dad" and "Chuck 'Shermanator' Sherman" respectfully and take the American Pie series in an all new direction.

I enjoyed the way they paid respect to the past with the honorable mentions of Jim, Michelle, and of course 'The Stiffmeister' as well as their exploits. However it also shows the negative effect that Steve had on Matt who actually shows he can be a likable guy when not trying to follow in big brother's foot steps.

Throw in the pranks and sexual nature that made the Meatballs series and Little Darlings cult hits, and you've got American Pie: Band Camp. I don't understand the negative reviews surrounding this movie. Maybe I am too lenient with movies, but I seriously think you should ignore the negative hype and check out this movie because all in all it is a great movie, and very well done. Usually movies are sent straight to video because of crappy acting, editing, and even worse plot. However this movie has great acting, with Tad Hilgenbrinck delivering an excellent performance as Matt Stiffler (and it helps that he looks a good bit like Sean William Scott also, lip curl and all), and the supporting cast does amazingly well.

So check out American Pie: Band Camp because it deserves a lot of credit and a lot of props. However let's hope they don't do anymore...because it's easy for things to go downhill.

10/10

Day of the Dead 2: Contagium (2005 Video)

Ouch! My Brain!!

[1/10 · 28 December 2005]

If I were George Romero, I would personally hire a fleet of lawyers and simply sue over the fact that they took the title of one of my movies and ruined it with this...this sorry excuse for a movie.

If I were running this site, I would have this movie in the bottom 250, and have it ranked worse than that Kelly Clarkson, Justin Guarini movie...yes friends, this movie is just that bad.

The movie opens with some very good action. In this movie we see the military has begun experimentation with these vials look like tampon applicators, that seem to have the ability to bring the dead to life. The fact that the military rushes right into the installation after the viral outbreak blasting anyone that isn't in military fatigues in the head was pretty cool, minus the fact that there was no smoke coming from the gun, no bullets being discharged...well you can't have them all I suppose. In the beginning we see a lowly hospital worker steal a vial and hide it in his trusting thermos only to be shot and killed.

Fast Forward 37 years later...

The military complex is turned into a mental hospital (with no gates to prevent escape mind you). One of the doctors (who lives with his patients) takes a group of guys on work detail and they happen to find...yup you guess it, the thermos from 37 years ago. After trying to open the thermos to no avail for a while, it finally opens and when the tampon applicator opens, it looks as though Tinkerbell is infecting all around with this virus. People start to show signs of being sick, and when a male orderly attempts sexual assault of a patient, he gets bitten and the fun really begins...or lack there of.

While this movie has loads of gore, even it won't save the terrible plot, the horrible acting, and the annoying plot holes. Like the original zombies having an almost Borg like connection. One gets hit, the others feel it, what one sees, they all see. One gets shot, they all have marks baring the gunshot. Or, how about the son of the worker who stole the evil tampon applicator who at the beginning it's indicated that he's a young child (1 or 2 years old) he shows up seemingly knowing everything about everything. How does he know that?! And how is he able to just walk into a highly restricted psych ward with no identification? Especially when the head physician ordered that wing shut down, and the orderlies armed with orders to shoot to kill anyone coming out of that ward? And of course, the zombies sit there, have conversations and wisecrack. I'm sorry but that should only happen in the Return of the Living Dead series because that series is for fun (except the excellent third one where its' full on serious).

All in all, avoid this movie like the plague. This is the worst movie that I have ever seen in my life, and I've seen Showgirls! I give this movie a 0.000001/10 *please note there is a 0.000001% margin of error.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2005)

Definitely the strongest!

[10/10 · 12 November 2005]

I won tickets to the pre screening last week, and I went to see it today and...

I have to say that Goblet of Fire is without a doubt the strongest Harry Potter movie to date. It had all of the emotion from the book from the fear, to the anger, to the sadness....the acting was brilliant.

Daniel Radcliffe I think did an amazing job once again as Harry. During the Yuleball, you believe how much he's yearning for Cho Chang and basically ignoring his date like crazy. Also at the end when Cedric dies and he uses the portkey to get back to Hogwarts, you totally believe that he's been through hell, and is almost out of his mind with grief trying to protect Cedric. I think he also plays off well being angry at your best friend, being afraid of being forced into a situation you don't WANT to be in, but doing what you can to survive it. Great job.

Rupert Gint once again in my opinion almost steals the show as Ron Weasley. From his awkward dance lessons with Professor McGonaggal, to his anger towards Hermione and Harry, he's just amazing. This guy is Definitely going to have a bright future in the film industry.

Emma Watson...I can't say enough about how great she was in this movie. Showing her care for Harry, and her budding feelings for Ron, while still being bossy old Hermione. It's just outstanding how well all three of them have grown as actors, and they bring their characters alive not just...being there if you know what I mean.

Gary Oldman for the few moments he was in the movie definitely set the tone for Goblet of Fire with his chilling warning to Harry about the Tri-Wizard tournament and whomever put his name in the Goblet of fire.

The guy who played Cedric Diggory (sorry can't remember his name) was outstanding. He did an amazing job, and he pulled off the part so well that when he does die, you have to shed tears for him, because he's such a likable character.

Draco Malfoy, although with less screen time is just as hateable as ever...you just want to take this kid by the ears and bash your head into his nose...but that's what comes from playing a great villain.

It is also VERY touching hearing Harry have his first and only conversation (although brief because of his duel with Voldemort) with his parents. It really makes you see just how much he's had to put up, and how much he's had to handle in his only 13 years of life.

And Ralph Finnese (sp?) was just amazing as Voldemort...I swear...this guy is just a phenom! He'd Definitely better continue playing The Dark Lord up until the final movie! I could go on and on and on picking out individual performances and I would be sitting here putting out a post longer than the pages of Goblet of Fire. The performances were great....however....

There were some things that got left out that was upsetting. The Dursley's for one (can't have Harry Potter without them), Molly Weasley (you can't cut out Harry's only true Mother figure), Dobby (it's not Neville that gives Harry the weed that allows him to breath underwater, it's the house elf. Dobby shows up helping Harry in the book, why not in the movie?), and finally....why don't they show Harry giving Fred and George his earnings for winning the tournament? They don't even MENTION the money reward, which is kind of upsetting. How are they going to explain where Fred and George get their money for their shop? Big plot hole right there, they'd better fix that! All in all, I gave the movie on IMDb.com a 9/10 because of those few problems. They were minor, and only a geek for the books like myself would notice such things. So...enjoy it when it comes out.

Family Guy (1999– )

Yes, there is justice in this world!

[10/10 · 2 May 2005]

And Sunday, May 1st 2005 it was proved! Family Guy returned with new episodes! Personally I don't feel it should have ever been cancelled in the first place, but I do believe that this second run could turn into something VERY big for Seth Macfarlane and company. I'm not saying that Family Guy is going to end up breaking The Simpsons record (of course it would be cool if it did) but this will definitely be something amazing.

Last night's episode of Family Guy definitely proved that the show is back and could definitely have the potential of being better than ever. Stewie and Brian in bed together with Stewie knitting a little blanket that reads 'Die Lois' was just...insanely funny. And anytime I see Tom Tucker's son on screen it just makes me want to laugh that much more.

Thank you Fox Network for bringing back Family Guy. Now maybe if you take my idea of a show about flying goats and the women that love them, we'll be in business.

House of the Dead (2003)

I try to be open to EVERYTHING....but

[1/10 · 14 March 2005]

Whenever I hear someone slam a movie, I make it a point to see it just to spite them and see if I like it or not. Well, I saw this movie for myself on On Demand a few weeks ago...and I have to say that the haters of this movie were beyond right about this crappy flick! I tell you something right now, the idea of the plot was horrible...it could have been cool as far as the blood is what resurrects the zombies and everything...but eh it was just completely wasted on crappy acting, a horrible plot, terrible delivery, and a rather crappy game in the long run anyway.

The bottom line is this, I tried to give this movie a chance but...words cannot begin to describe how I felt watching this movie. The one scene that could ALMOST be considered cool if you had never seen another good movie before in your life, was when the survivors were fighting their way back to the house, and as they fought, the 'House Of The Dead' song was playing, and each character got to have video game style profile shots while they were fighting the zombies. That could have been kind of cool...but...no. Nothing could save that movie.

Luckily it didn't ruin Dawn of the Dead being made.

1 out of 10. Don't even rent this on video. While you're at it, kick any House of the Dead video game you see at the arcade just on principle.

Bad As I Wanna Be: The Dennis Rodman Story (1998 TV Movie)

Not as bad as the last comment Suggests

[6/10 · 25 October 2004]

Granted, this TV movie had some weak acting in a lot of scenes, but it's a made-for-TV movie so it's not going to have the greatest acting in the world. I love how the movie showed Rodman's early beginnings. Where in college basketball, he set scoring and rebounding records, and won titles for those categories. Not many people know that.

It also did show the softer side of Dennis Rodman, and in watching that movie you can see that anytime in an interview whenever his daughter Alexis is mentioned he breaks into tears. This movie showed a softer, gentler side of Dennis Rodman, a man whom is my personal hero.

Although books are always better than movies, this flick was amazing. Kudos.

Dawn of the Dead (2004)

In a world of bad remakes, this wasn't bad.

[9/10 · 19 October 2004]

I went into this movie completely excited. And I wasn't even really disappointed either. The acting was very good, and I actually loved how they didn't follow the exact storyline. They took the basics of the original Dawn of the Dead and made it more contemporary. I knew they wouldn't be filming the movie at Monroeville Mall (the mall just 15 minutes outside of Pittsburgh where they filmed the original) but it was still awesome none the less.

The script worked rather well, and the movie flowed nicely also. Granted I wasn't a huge fan of the fast moving zombies, but I suppose I can let that go because truthfully, maybe before rigor mortis sets in, you'd be able to move quickly, who knows? But I do know that I was on the edge of my seat through many parts of the movie, and you start to really care about the characters in the movie. I am anxiously waiting for 1 week to pass so that I can get my copy of Dawn. I already have it pre purchased.

8/10 rating.

The movie missed a perfect 10 for the simple fact that zombies SHOULD NOT run that fast.

The Punisher (2004)

Another amazing Marvel Flick

[10/10 · 5 October 2004]

This is the second version of 'The Punisher', and while I enjoy the original that starred Dolph Lungren, I LOVED this one. Thomas Jane was amazing, he definitely had the essence of the tortured Frank Castle down perfect. The acting in this movie was extremely well done, a lot more well done than many people (critics) have given it credit for. I think that John Travolta even though he can be a bit annoying at times played a great bad guy, and his character was sinister, and cruel, but loving at the same time. Will Patton I think almost stole the show with his portrayal of his character Quentin Glass, because he had a charisma about him that was equally disturbing. It was a great movie, not just 'great for what it was'. The story was good, the stunts, and the violence amazing, and I really hope they greenlight for a sequel.

The Matrix Revolutions (2003)

It just doesn't get any better

[10/10 · 16 November 2003]

I just got back from seeing the movie today and I must say that this movie was definately MUCH better than what the critics said. This movie concentrated on telling a story, and the story was superb. The action scenes were wonderful, and Keanu Reeves definately etched the character Neo in history as a true hero. Bravo Wachowski's, Reeves, Moss, and Fishburne. Bravo

Down to You (2000)

Probably my most favorite movie

[7/10 · 14 September 2003]

Don't get me wrong, I love movies with complete violence. I love to see blood everywhere and I love to see things blow up and T&A are great too (hey I'm a guy). But I love this movie, and it's probably my most favorite movie.

Everyone has their tastes but to say this is the worse movie ever made isn't fair. I'm not saying it's the greatest movie ever made either, but I just love this movie, because it's about what relationships are all about. Give and take, understanding each other, and compromising. It was...just awesome. I love the movie more than anything. Julia Styles was great as was Freddie Prinze Jr. They had great chemistry together and of course Zak Oth was awesome as well. Rosario Dawson was excellent and I hardly recognized her!

A great job.

Definately 7/10

Freddy vs. Jason (2003)

Blood, gore, and jokes. I LOVE IT!

[7/10 · 4 September 2003]

I enjoyed this movie ALOT MORE than I thought I would. Robert Englund totally played Freddy better than he did in New Nightmare 9 years ago. Freddy was frightening, malicious, and just...great. Jason was better than I expected and that's what I was really watching for. He wasn't Kane Hodder, but he definately gave an awesome performance. This movie was well worth the 10 year wait.