not_john_cleese Reviews

Camp Pleasant Lake (2024)

What to make of this?

[5/10 · 3 March 2024]

Wow. What have I just been watching? Who decided that making this "film" was a good idea? Is it a tax write-off? A crowd-funded passion project, made with friends, family and maybe some of the funders? (The large number of exec and assoc producer credits would appear to favour the latter.)

The plot has more holes than an average road in Britain. The dialogue is matched in cringeworthiness only by the acting (and obvious lack of professional direction). The lightning of the night scenes made me laugh out loud. If I have to list something positive: some of the effects are okay-ish and the actors seem to have had a great time (although most of them won't be needing agents I suspect).

As a professional film this should not get more than one or two stars. But the thing is, I enjoyed watching the whole thing. So I'll give it a generous five stars.

Thin Ice (2020– )

I watched this so you don't have to...

[4/10 · 18 October 2021]

I don't often write reviews but in this case I regard it as my civic duty to warn my fellow earthlings. From the summary I was hoping for something on a par with Smilla, Trapped or even Fortitude but this doesn't even deserve to polish the snow boots of those movie/series.

So, how did they create this turkey (tin Swedish: "kalkon")? It all starts with a ridiculous plot. Turn that into a laughable screenplay and add some of the most toe-curling dialogue this side of the arctic circle. Finally, add some of the hammiest actors you can find (in particular the Swedish agent who vacillates between arrogant unprofessional termagant and blabbering unprofessional cry-baby, all the while showing she's a founding member of Over-actors Anonymous). I honestly don't know what made Lena Endre sign up for this - she's a classic actress but is dragged down to the level of the rest of this stinker.

In the first few episodes the local actors at least act well, but later on even they are made to suffer inane plot twists and ludicrous dialogue. The only one who deserves kudos is the little girl.

The only positive thing about this series is the stunning scenery of Greenland (let's enjoy it while it lasts).

Alone in Berlin (2016)

Germans speaking English with a Swedish accent...

[6/10 · 29 December 2018]

While the original story is interesting and worth telling, the movie completely fails to engage. The reason is simple - Germans in wartime Berlin spoke German and not English with a German or Swedish accent (looking at you, Micke P). Disbelief can only be suspended for so long. No matter how great an actor you are, the barking of commands in German ("Aufmachen!") can never be even remotely approximated in English. It just reminds you with every spoken word that these are actors pretending to be Germans. It just doesn't work.

3% (2016–2020)

Really not very good

[5/10 · 10 June 2018]

I watched this series (in Brazilian Portugese with English subtitles) because it was different (Brazilian sf) and had a high rating (7.6 at the time). However, I found it extremely disappointing. The story, after episode 1, really is very boring and if it goes anywhere it does so at a glacial pace. None of the characters are likeable or relatable and almost the entire series takes place in one single setting. The acting is poor and the camera work makes you seasick (short takes, close-up and shaky). The whole thing seems aimed at the "young adult" audience (like the Hunger Games) - maybe I'm just too old.

Identicals (2015)

I should have heeded the advice of the other reviewers!

[4/10 · 23 August 2016]

This pretentious attempt at a movie, as others have pointed out, has no redeeming qualities. The story such as it is would possibly have made for a passable short (10-15 minutes max), but instead there are now 100 minutes of my life that I regret spending on it.

Don't make the same mistake I did - heed the advice of the other reviewers. Don't watch this.

Okay, so my review does not contain ten lines of text yet. So let me repeat: don't waste your time on this movie. It's not worth it. Do something fun instead. Floss your cat, what do I know.

Still not long enough. Well, okay, the actress is cute. Apparently, her surname is No-one. A bit like "My name is nobody" :-)

My Führer (2007)

Black comedy or farce? Make up your mind already!

[7/10 · 19 January 2008]

I just watched this movie in German and without subtitles (i.e., even though my German is "anständig" I may have missed a few jokes). I find it difficult to get a grip on the movie. I think it would have worked if it had been purely a black comedy but somehow the director inserted farcical elements (such as the constant "Heil Hitler"-ing and the recurring ado about bureaucratic procedures). This may have been done to attract a larger (or different) audience but it didn't exactly benefit the movie. If it had been cast in the form of a low-key but biting (black) satire it would have been a far better movie. I give it a 7 for what it could have been (if it had been a brilliant black comedy, it might have scored a 9).

Interestingly, for me "Der Untergang" was never the great movie it could have been either for essentially the same reason. In my opinion, the latter movie should have focused exclusively on the psychology and claustrophobia in the bunker during the final days of the Third Reich. It could even have ended with Hitler and Eva Braun retreating. All the "above-ground" scenes were superfluous and indeed distracted from the drama that was going on below-ground. As in the case of "Mein Führer", one cannot help but wonder if this was done purely to attract a larger (or different) audience.

Married 2 Malcolm (2000)

Lovely little flick

[7/10 · 16 July 2007]

This quirky, and ultimately quintessentially British comedy is a little hidden gem, waiting to be discovered by the cult connoisseurs of the digital generation. It features one of my favourite actresses, the talented Beth Pinkerton (who also co-produced this flick), in a hilarious scene.

Little known fact-fodder for movie buffs: originally this movie would have featured Gary Glitter, but the scandal surrounding him broke just before shooting was to commence. Subsequently, Noddy Holder (of Slade) was cast, but he bailed out at a very late stage as well. Eventually, a Noddy Holder impersonator was cast. In addition, the fact that the Blackpool Pier was destroyed in a storm shortly before the spectacular final scene was to be shot necessitated some last-moment script revisions.

Half Nelson (2006)

Yawnorama

[4/10 · 6 April 2007]

Honestly, what's all the hype about? Another hundred minutes of my life gone by that I could have spent more meaningfully watching paint dry instead. The movie starts off with nothing much happening, then nothing much continues to happen, the end. Maybe if you live in the USA where civil rights have been slow in the coming this is a brilliant tale. For the rest of you - don't bother.

Apparently I need to write more lines before my comments can be accepted. I thought that brevity was a virtue. Oh well, let me add that the characters are of the kind that you neither identify with nor give a hoot about (unless you live in NY perhaps).

Inga Lindström: Sehnsucht nach Marielund (2004) Season 1, Episode 1

It quacks like a duck, but ...

[3/10 · 21 December 2005]

I live in a place called Marielund. Being bored one day, I searched IMDb for movies somehow related to "Marielund", and this movie came up as the only hit. It is a German made-for-TV movie (broadcast by ZDF on 25 January, 2004 - for once I was happy to have an old analogue satellite dish that only gives me 83 German stations ...), set in Sweden and clearly filmed in Sweden, but with German actors speaking German (no surprise there) - very strange indeed. Even more bizarrely, whereas genuine Swedes would have been driving old Volvos and Saabs, here everybody was driving spanking-new, top-of-the-line Mercedeses. The movie's only redeeming feature (in my humble opinion) is the fact that it has Eva Habermann in the leading part (she played yummy Zev in the TV-series "Lexx" for awhile - which must have been one of the worst SF series ever, by the way).

Jason X (2001)

Jolly good fun

[8/10 · 3 October 2003]

Excellent cross-over of the slasher, comedy and science-fiction genres. Don't watch it if you know in advance that you'll hate it. Otherwise, enjoy the ride - it's really a fun movie that doesn't take itself seriously at all (unlike some of the people who posted comments on it ...). And a cameo by David Cronenberg

(quod vide) to boot !

The Avengers (1998)

I say, what a jolly good yarn !

[7/10 · 13 September 2003]

Maybe it's because I grew up with the original TV series, but I actually liked this flick ! It does capture quite a bit of the surreal (at times almost zany) atmosphere of the series and is *much* better than the comments on this site would lead one to suspect. But of course if you expect your movies to be obvious, logical and completely transparent you should probably give it a miss.