Change Your Image
RectalGORE
Reviews
Skinned Deep (2004)
A cheesy Texas Chainsaw Massacre rip off!
Skinned Deep is a cheesy Texas Chainsaw Massacre rip off with a fair share of gore! It offers funny characters, a typical Texas Chainsaw Massacre rip off plot and an hour and a half of entertainment! Not only there is no nudity, there is also no sleaze climate. The story is about a family that consists of two fat parents, a young brother and a vegetarian older sister who happens to play the main role of the victim that is tortured by the typical deformed family! This deformed family consists of as usually one person who happens to be an old lady. This old lady also happens to be psychotic , but she looks normal, and a bunch of deformed bastards. One of those deformed bastards actually has a sensitive soul. Therefore, the girl victim takes advantage of his sensitive soul for her own survival interest. Later on, a bunch of funky old people declare a war on that deformed family who has killed their buddy. In a nutshell, I suggest you watch this cheesy flick if you enjoy b-grade cheese cinema! And no! It ain't so awful as the films produced by Troma!
Kei moon duen gap (1982)
If you dig cheesy kung fu movies, you had better watch this one!
This film has some cheesy fights, cheesy effects, cheesy characters and everything that a fan of cheese cinema wants to see in a film! The story is about a man whose wife has been killed by the local emperor and he is sentenced to death. Therefore, in order to flee he kindaps the emperor's son and flees with him. On the way, the emperor's son is killed accidentally, and the man who is chased by the emperor's soldiers gives his nephew a medal that had belonged to the emperor's son before he was killed. Later on, the bad guys appear and everything becomes so cheesy that you won't stop laughing! On the top of that, there are many wine bottles flying around! Bottom line : I recommend that you watch this cheesy film if you are in favour of this genre! 7/10
Kiseichuu: kiraa pusshii (2004)
Cheese + gore + nudity = entertainment!
Alright, here we have one cheesy ass kicking flick from Japan. I have seen a version which had no sub-titles, probably the same version that The Nomad has seen. Anyway, The Killer Pussy is savagely entertaining. It has gore, nudity, sleaze, a cheesy monster who happen to be the Killer Pussy ! In addition, its runtime is short. Therefore, you don't have to make a day off just to watch it.
The story is about a bunch of chicks and boys who travel around the country with their car, and suddenly out of the blue, the pussies of the girls become killer monsters that attack everyone! The monster is totally cheesy, the chicks are great and have great boobies, and there is a fair share of blood and gore! You will certainly need no sub-titles in order to enjoy this cheesy flick! 8/10
Dabide no hoshi: Bishôjo-gari (1979)
A typical Japanese exploitation film that gets 6 points out of 10 points just for its obscure plot
Norifumi Suzuki's Beautiful Girl Hunter is a very sleazy film that can offer many rape scenes, an obscure plot, decent acting, shocking scenes, and few moments of boredom.
The story is about a woman who gave birth to her son after she had been raped by a sick rapist. When her son becomes a man, he starts raping and killing innocent girls exactly like his father used to do. Later on, the boy who has become a rapist by himself and his sleazy father meet for the very first time!
Beautiful Girl Hunter does have good plot compare to most of the films in this genre, but it also provides the viewer with some moments of boredom. However, I would like to say that Beautiful Girl Hunter is much better than some other sleazy Japanese movies like the series Guts Of A Virgin, Female Market and so on. Mowever, Beautiful Girl Hunter that actually has nothing to do with its title is the best Japanese exploitation film that I have ever seen, but don't take that as a strong recommendation because I am not really in favour of this genre.
I can only recommend it to fans of exploitation and odd Japanese cinema. 6/10
Ren zhe da (1986)
Alexander Lou and the usual gang in a shaolin vs ninja flick!
Ninja The Final Duel is a very entertaining ninja/kung fu flick, it has some great fights, a naked chick that fights, bloody deaths, ninjas, monks from all over the world and so on.
The story is about the shaolin temple and its monks who are attacked by ninjas.
On the one hand, the monks fight beautifully, and they also have a typical shaolin master who looks totally silly. Alexander Lou is some sort of a monk and a ninja. He usually hangs out with his friend who is categorized like him( His friend is the little Chinese guy who participated with Lou in Mafia Vs Ninja). Actually, his black friend who participated in Mafia Vs Ninja, The Super Ninja and Ninja The Final Duel appears later, and he fights well as he does in the other films.
On the other hand, The ninjas have a great time of ninjas who can jump onto water spiders that can fight against the monks. Those ninjas know how to disappear mysteriously. Moreover, the ninjas have an evil leader who makes them slaughter monks and other Chinese people.
Ninja The Final Duel is actually a fine ninja flick! It has good fights, cheesy and bloody fights, even though that The Super Ninja in which Alexander Lou participated too is much better. Recommended for the fans of cheesy martial art flicks! 7/10
Can que (1978)
It's has nothing to do with the original, however , in my opinion The Crippled Avengers is much better than The Five Deadly Venoms
The Crippled Avengers is a very entertaining film by cult kung fu movies production company called Shaw Brother. It has all the actors who have participated in The Five Deadly Venoms and Chinese Super Ninjas 1. It certainly has a classic cast who knows how to fights beautifully. It also has a cool plot that has surely inspired the directors of Crippled Masters, crappy kung fu movies in which there also some crippled avengers, However, The Crippled Avengers by The Shaw Brothers manages to entertain much more either than The Crippled Masters or The Five Deadly Venoms. Most of its fights are fantastic, even though that some of them can actually bore you. The characters and the acting are very typical for a Shaw Brothers' production. However, The Crippled Avengers has an interesting plot and a faire of blood compared to the average kung fu flick. The story is about a master whose son's hand had been cut before his son and him became revengeful due to that incident. They make innocent people crippled for no reason. Therefore, some of the people who have been crippled by them become avengers, even though that they are crippled. They meet a master who teaches them and train them useful kung fu techniques that can be practiced even by those who are disabled. In a nutshell, The Crippled Avengers is an entertaining kung fu flick that I certainly recommend to those who are in favour of kung fu and martial arts cinema. 7/10
Ying zi jun tuan (1984)
A very entertaining ninjafest
The Super Ninja is a great ninjafest which is very similar to The Mafia Vs Ninja, but The Super Ninja is much better. First of all, it has much more ninjas, and colourful ones. Second, Its plot is much more interesting. Third, it's cheesier than The Mafia Vs Ninja. Fourth, The fights are much better and the climax is very exciting!
The story is about John, an Asian cop who works in America with his black partner called Spenser. One day, John was caught by his fellow cops for possessing drugs that had been put in his apartment in order to set him up. However, John doesn't give up! Therefore, He has to fight against his fellow cops, drugs dealers and the five element ninjas!
I would like to add to this review some technical details such as dubbing, fights, nudity and cheese. Let's start with the dubbing, shall we? Well, its dubbing is very amusing, it's hardly synchronized and the characters have voices that hardly suit them. The fights are very entertaining and sometimes even stunning, the ninjas have great techniques, however, John fights more elegantly. About the nudity, well, there is one or two softcore scenes which add the film another aspect which manages to entertain as well. The cheese! I can certainly say that The Super Ninja has some of the cheesiest killings that I have ever seen, I am not sure if those killing have been filmed intentionally cheesy or not, one thing for sure, there is a fair share of cheese on the top of this pizza!!!
Bottom line, I recommend that every fan of ninja movies check this cheesy ninjafest because it sure has made me have some good laughs! 9/10
Ninja the Protector (1986)
White ninja bikers
Ninja The Protector is a watchable ninja flick. However, The Ninja Protector isn't a great ninja flick, its plot is just crappy. Let's begin with the fact that most of its ninjas are white, even though that some are Chinese. Its plot was a combination of exploitation, ninja action and a crappy drama, I know that it sounds cheesy and fun, but it's not that great. Actually, The Ninja Protector has boring scenes whereas the some of its fights save it. The ninjas are mostly white as I said above, but they have some interesting swords and daggers. Its plot is so awful that I won't even write about it, However, its soundtrack is actually cheesy and fun. Morever, its soundtrack is maybe the best part in this silly film, it is heard after and during the cheesy fights. In a nutshell, The Ninja Protector isn't very recommended, unless you really like ninja movies. 4/10
Huang Fei Hong xiao lin quan (1974)
A fine kung fu flick
The Skyhawk is a great kung fu film staring Tak-Hing Kwan and Sammo Hung, Tak Hing Kwan plays the role of the Skyhawk.
The Skyhawk is a polite reserved and peaceful master who doesn't like fighting. However, the things don't keep on being very well, and The Skyhawk has to use his skills against the bad guys. In addition, Sammo Hung plays his pupil called Fatty with his friend who has messed up with the bad guys.
This film has a great plot, fair acting, great fights and a fantastic atmosphere which isn't cheesy this time. Actually, The Skyhawk is the real deal. Its characters are great, especially the bad guy with the long hair, He looks totally frightening and powerful. Moreover, the bad guys show no mercy when they kill, there are some shocking killings unlike in most of the kung fu flicks, they dead usually fall cheesily, and the film moves on. However,The Skyhawk has no such killings, its killings are raw and bloody! In a nutshell, The Skyhawk is a fine kung fu film, I suggest that you watch it if you are fond of kung fu cinema! 8/10
Hong men jue e zhe (1985)
A good kung fu/ninja/gangs film, however , lacks kung fu masters and pupils
Mafia Vs Ninja is a cool film. I saw it today, and i think that it was entertaining. It included ninjas, kung fu fighters, opponents from all over the world, a good gang and a bad gang, a false love story and so on. In fact, its climate had a great ninja scene.
The story is about a new guy who arrives at town, and this new guy is a great kung fu fighter. Later on, he is adopted by a good Chinese gang whose leader is killed due to his disagreements with the Japanese gang that sells heroin and so on. Therefore, the new guy goes to revenge the bad who have killed the leader of his Chinese group.
Mafia Vs Ninja has many fights, but no monks, no temples, no pupils nor masters, while there is a fair share of ninja attacks and kung fu fights that aren't always cheesy. In a nutshell, I recommend that fans of ninja cinema and kung fu cinema check this film out, it can provide you with an hour and a half of entertainment 7/10
Zombie Rampage (1992)
Starts nicely, but ends up poorly
*** This review might contain some minor spoilers that in my opinion won't spoil you all the "fun" *** Zombie Rampage is a very low budget zombie flick with loads of gore, however ,its plot sucks. Morever, its acting is awful and so are the last scenes. It has loads of gore and violence and some nudity which make this film watchable, while its directing is horrible.
I have seen Zombie Bloodbath 1 and 2, and I think that they are much better than Zombie Rampage. It seems to me that Zombie Rampage is Todd Sheets' first attempt to direct a solid zombie. I can certainly tell that this attempt has failed miserably.
The thing that made me dislike this film was the lack of dominant zombies at its ending. The zombies actually lacked there. There were always "there", but I couldn't any of see them.
In a nutshell, Zombie Rampage is a worthless film, I can only recommend it to die hard fans of zombiefests. However, a fan who has been in the field for a while will certainly agree with me on the fact that its ending lacks of zombies and pretty much everything that a good zombie film ought to include. 3/10
Baai ga jai (1981)
Fairly entertaining, but not great
I saw the Prodigal Son today, and I must say that it wasn't a waste of time, it was actually fairly entertaining. However, the Prodigal Son wasn't a great film, its fights weren't overwhelmingly stunning, but its plot was very good and interesting.
The story was about a rich kid whose parents pay fees for all the kung fu fighters in their area to be defeated by their son. One day, the kid meets a real kung fu master who tells him the truth, the kid becomes very disappointed with everybody. Therefore, he demands that the kung fu master take him as his pupil, however , the kung fu master refuses to take him as his pupil for some reasons. Later on, the bad guys appear, and the kung fu master agrees to take him as his pupil.
The Prodigal Son has some good jokes and cheesy kung fu fights along with bloody fights. Morever, there is even a good scenes which contains ninjas. I can certainly recommend it to fans of kung fu cinema, however, there are better movies out there. 6/10
Gimunsayukbang (1983)
Amusingly entertaining!
Shaolin Drunk Fighters is a fantastic kung fu film that has it all! It has drunk monks, bad guys, ninjas who suddenly disappear, a beautiful girl, and a revengeful young man.
The story is about a young man whose family is killed by a bunch of bad guys. Later on, he wants to revenge the evil killers. After discovering the way to the shaolin temple in which he had been admitted, the young man studies kung fu techniques which will help him revenge the killers successfully.
In addition, I must say that Shaolin Drunk Fighters is unintentionally cheesy. Its dubbing has a cheesy delay which makes it look very funny, for instance, the narrator of the first character finnishes saying his/her speech, while the character still talks. There is also another example, when one character is supposed to talk, the narrator of the other character still talks. As you can see Shaolin Drunk Fighters is an unintentionally funny film which will totally entertain you, it sure has entertained me!
I recommend that every fan of kung fu, ninja, martial art and cheesy movies check this film. It will surely not be a disappointment. Recommended 9/10
Injamun salsu (1982)
A kung fu/ninja film
Secret Ninja, Roaring Tiger is a watchable kung fu which also contains ninjas. Not only aren't the fights good, the plot isn't good too. It's about a bunch of people who fight against the bad guys. the fights are totally ordinary, and the characters aren't really special too. Moreover, it contains some bloody deaths and sleazy scenes which contain nudity. Seeing nudity in kung fu movies isn't sight which is seen often. Its ninjas fight poorly, and also most of the characters in this film. The technique of the fights is very similar in every fight. In addition, its dubbing is so bad that it's the most pleasant part in this film. This Bruceploitation film surely doesn't inspire enjoyment successfully. In fact, I cannot recommended this film to anyone, but die hard fans of kung fu movies or exploitation movies. 4/10
Shuang ma lian huan (1979)
A good kung fu film that has been dubbed funnily
Ninja Checkmate is a good kung fu film. It has a cool story, great fights and funny dubbing.
The plot of Checkmate Ninja is about a young man who admits a kung fu school in which his class mates don't really like him. Therefore, He becomes a friend of school's cook whose kung fu techniques are very interesting. However, the cook sends him to a chess master who at first, refused to take him as his pupil, but he agreed to take him as his pupil. The chess master teaches the young man some great techniques with which he will use while fighting against the bad guy.
This film contains many fights, private kung fu lessons, funky haircuts, funny clothes and controversial dubbing which I actually like. I really like Ninja Checkmate despite its lack of ninjas. However, I suggest that you check this kung fu film. The fights at its ending will totally blow your mind!!
Death Valley: The Revenge of Bloody Bill (2004)
Worthless Bill
Bloody Bill is indeed a bloody awful film. Its soundtrack is very irritating, there is no single atmospheric tune, just irritating rock/metal crap! The zombies actually run and talk! So far it sounds dodgy, doesn't it? In addition, there is a stupid criminal called Bloody Bill who dominates the zombies. Are real zombies dominated by anyone? I certainly don't think so!
The story is about a drugs smuggler who is forced to run away since he is chased by a cop, he escapes from the cop to a Abandoned town in which the dead rise and Bloody Bill rise! The drugs smuggler is killed by the zombies. However, The partner of the drugs smuggler wants his dope. Therefore, he doesn't give up and forces a bunch of young people to help him find his dead partner since they have a car. The whole group arrives at that abandoned town, and they find out that the dead and Bloody Bill reigns it!
I know that this description sounds good, but trust me, it's bloody awful! There are few gore and action scenes which can entertain, however ,This film is just bloody awful, and those gore and action scenes don't improve this worthless film. I cannot recommend it to the old school zombies fans since it's a terrible new school on. I even think that the remake of Dawn Of The Dead is much better than this worthless new school zombies movie. 2/10
Zhong guo chao ren (1975)
Cheesecore!
Super Inframan is cheesy as f**k. Never have I seen such a cheesy kung fu film like The Super Inframan. This film is so cheesy that I felt like peeing out of laughter while watching.
The story is about, well it's hard to explain, a bunch of evil monsters who fight poorly and funnily and the odd girl wizard who dominates them. The story contains also a man who is THE SUPER INFRAMAN. This role is played by Danny Leee who has done a great job. He is some sort of a cheesy superman rip off who looks like a bird or maybe a power ranger lol. He fights a against the evil monsters and their landlady.
I strongly recommend that you watch this cheesy film. It's so cheesy and bad that you can't help being delighted by it!!! I give this film nine out of ten points!!! WATCH THE SUPER INFRAMAN !!!
Back from Hell (1993)
"Tell Satan I said "kiss my black ass"
The story is about a priest and an ex actor who returns from Hollywood, the ex actor has sold his soul to Satan, and together they try to get his soul back. They fight against the evil forces which consist of Zombies, Demons, Ninjas who don't have any martial arts skills, Evil cops, Criminals and so on.
The film contains a lot of blood and some gore, stupid ninja costumes, horrible acting, horrible dialogues, however ,it doesn't contain any nudity or good looking chicks. The number of the people involved in this film is very limited, just few people. In short, Demon Apocalypse is a total piece of s**t that is only recommended to bad cinema fans. 2/10
Ninja Supremo (1987)
"Teacher, he is dead!"
Ninja Supremo is a great film, however ,it's not a ninja film, there aren't any ninjas in this film. In fact, it's a good kung fu film whose characters, fights and dubbing are very entertaining.
The story is about a young man who happens to be a trouble maker, his folks want him to settle down and start being a kung fu pupil. One day, the young trouble maker encounters a master and his daughter. The master is a sick man, however ,he still fights well. At first the master had insisted on not taking the trouble maker as a pupil before he was convinced by the young man to take him as his pupil. Later on, the bad guys appear and all the fun begins. Not only does the young man need to take care of his sick master, but he also has to fight against the bad guys for whom his master has been waiting.
The two bad guys look very funny. The first one is a hunchback whose haircut seems terribly bizarre. The second one looks quite "ordinary" compare to the first one, however ,he is a better kung fu master whose hands shake funnily.
I suggest that every fan of kung fu movies check Ninja Supremo, it's a very good kung fu film that has good characters and costumes as mentioned above. Its goof level isn't very high, however , some moments are unintentionally funny and cheesy, especially at its ending. 8/10
Mo tai (1983)
A supernatural horror film made in HK!
Devil's Fetus is certainly one of the weirdest films that I have had the pleasure to watch.
The story is very strange, I still cannot figure it out out fully. The film starts with a public sell in which a young lady obtains a desired product which is some sort of a lamp. Later, she arrives at her home, and starts enjoying herself with that lamp, then a very strange demon f**ks her before her boyfriend comes and later discovers that his girlfriend's dark side, then the demon disappears and the boyfriend breaks the lamp and gets hurt, and then they both die heh. This description is just the first five minutes from this obscure little film. It becomes much nastier, crazier and odder later on.
At certain moments this flick can be similar to a supernatural kung fu flick, however , this film combines no fights, just wacky supernatural incidents like those of the Evil Dead.
Devil's Fetus contains gore, nudity, supernatural content and ghosts, demons that rape young girls, crazy religious people and so on.
I can recommend it to fans of supernatural horror movies and fans of Asian cinema. Recommended 7/10
Addio zio Tom (1971)
Sick and interesting, but also boring
Goodbye Uncle Tom is one of the sickest films that can be seen. It's about the trade slavery in America and Europe in the previous centuries. Watching Goodbye Uncle Tom, I viewed some of the nastiest and most unbelievable scenes that can be seen. Seeing the white men abuses, rapes, humiliates and does everything that comes to his twisted mind was unbelievably shocking, however , the film was boring too and had some moments that made me feel like turning it off, but i didn't, i watched it all the way. The most shocking thing about this film was that all of this has actually happened! It seemed even sicker than those holocaust stories and movies, In those holocaust stories and movies the Jewish people were slaughtered, but they weren't treated like animals that are kept in cages just for profit like the black man were. This film actually shows how the white empires are disgustingly cruel and careless. I can only recommend it to people who like being shocked or like watching shocking historical facts that have happened in the "developing" countries by the "developed" countries. 5/10
La noche del terror ciego (1972)
The creepiest film that I have seen!
Tomb Of The Blind Dead is a masterpiece of terror, it contains some of the creepiest scenes that have been put in a film in my opinion!
The story is about a young girl and her friend who go on a trip by train, on the way the blind dead rise and start the creepiest massacre that has ever been put in a film. These blind dead are zombie alike, but these aren't regular zombies who walk slowly and look silly(but still rock too of course), they are very dark, creepy and slow but not cheesy at all(in my opinion). Everything little detail in this film is morbid as hell, there is no happy moment, everything is just dark, dreadful and creepy!!!
I have seen a sub-titled version which freaked the s**t out of me. I can only recommend it to people who aren't afraid of being scared as I have, and trust me I had seen many horror movies before I saw The Tomb Of The Blind Dead, Nothing had scared me as much as Tomb Of The Blind Dead did. THE CREEPIEST HORROR FILM !!! 10/10
Forbidden World (1982)
One of the best films that can be seen by You!
Mutant aka Forbidden World is one of the cheesiest and most amazing movies that I have seen. It contains nudity,gore, a cheesy monster and everything that a person who is in favour of b-grade movies requires to be entertained by a movie.
It's indeed a rip off of Alien, but it's much better than Alien, Alien is a very boring film in my opinion, but I think that Mutant is just fantastically good! It contains one of the cheesiest monsters that I have seen. Imagine the monster from Carpertner's The Thing but much cheesier, and you got the this cheesefest called Mutant!
When I saw it I was quite tipsy and I can only recommend that you do the same if you watch it. This film will surely entertain you if you are sober, but watching is tipsy is delightful! Make sure you are in the mood for a fun cheesefest, because Mutant is certainly a remarkable one!!! 10/10
Ha-Ushpizin (2004)
It looks good, but it's not!
I saw Ushpizin at the cinema hall a few months ago, and I can only say that it was actually an awful experience. It was like watching a awfully bad TV movie on the big screen, However , I seemed to be the only person who thought that Ushpizin was BAD!
The story is about an ex offender who finds God. The ex offender becomes orthodox, gets married, moves to an orthodox neighborhood, leaves the crime for God. However, He and his wife cannot bring children to this world. Being unable to bring children to this world is considered awful if you are religious. Therefore, they don't live happily. One day, two of his old friends show up at his house. These two friends happened to be prisoners who haven't returned from their vacation outside. After, the encounter happens, there is collision between two cultures, the religious straight-edge one and the modern and corrupted by crimes one.
I know that this description sounds interesting, but no, it's NOT, it's a terrible TV movie which has been put put on the big screen. The promotional campaign of this film had seemed to be very promising before it was seen. This film is maybe the first film that deals with the phenomenon of offenders who find god and leave the crime for it (a very popular phenomenon in Israel, many offenders find themselves either dead or orthodox). However, it's still a terrible TV movie which has been put on the big screen.
Do your self a favor and avoid watching Ushpizin! -100000000/10
Black Past (1989)
Gory as f**k!!!
Ittenbach's Black Past is can easily be categorized as one of the goriest films that has ever filmed. It contains so much gore that you cannot help being delighted! There are zombies, serial killers and some other kind of creepy monsters.
The story is quite shitty, but who really cares while there is much GORE! Basically, it's indeed an Evil Dead rip-off, but it's ten time gorier than the Evil Dead. Not only isn't the acting bad, the dialogues are bad too, but then again, who cares? GORE is the name of the game and if you are in favour of it, don't think twice!!! Black Past has been made just for you! 10/10 (it could be 0/10 if it weren't so gory heh)