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Reviews
Jurassic World Dominion (2022)
We're still doing member berries in 2022?
Remember when Ian Malcolm waved the flare to get the T-Rex's attention? This sequel does. Remember when they handed out walkie-talkies in the bunker in the first film before splitting up? This sequel does.
Unbearable nostalgia baiting and truly awful writing/editing/directing are the main problems with this film. The soundtrack is also notably bad. The actors are not to blame for this one. They all did a great job with what they had to work with.
This didn't even feel like a Jurassic movie for a lot of the runtime. I felt like I was watching a globe-trotting James Bond film with an evil super villain.
It's not quite Rise of Skywalker level bad, but it's definitely the worst film in the Jurassic series.
Spiral: From the Book of Saw (2021)
Oof
Not good. This is by far the worst film in the Saw franchise. I'm giving it a 3 only for the finger trap - ouch. The performances and story were laughable, and it doesn't have much else going for it. At least it's short.
Stowaway (2021)
Another Netflix movie...
The storyline is very weak. Some big A-list names can't save this one. Unbearably slow and boring at times, very inconsistent world building, and ridiculous plot elements. At least it had an ending I guess.
The Assistant (2019)
Utterly captivating
"They had to know, how could they just let it happen?". This film is an 87 minute long answer to that accusation. Julia Garner has impressed me previously in Ozark and Dirty John. This is her greatest work to date. The atmosphere and tension that this film builds is subtle but incredibly gripping. I couldn't look away, and I can't say that for many films I see these days. No, there isn't any real plot or storyline, or character development to speak of. It's a day in the life of an assistant to a powerful Hollywood type man. He might as well be Weinstein or any number of the #MeToo characters. To criticise this film as not having a message would be asinine. It is a film with purpose, that knows exactly what it is, and what time it is. I was not surprised to see a female name in the closing credits, and I'll be looking out for more of Kitty Green's writing and directing in the future.
The Last Thing He Wanted (2020)
Unwatchable really
It's becoming a trope of netflix films. Decent actors, nice looking cinematography, abysmal script/screenplay. I couldn't tell you what this film is about. Hathaway is perfectly fine as usual, but who knows what this film is trying to do with her. It's confusing and just bad.
Wounds (2019)
There's ambiguity and then there's this.
This film is a waste of time. You will be left unsatisfied and disappointed by the non-ending. Unfortunately there was some wasted potential here. Armie Hammer's performance was solid. Some plot lines and characters are introduced that could have been interesting. It goes absolutely no where. It's not even ambiguous, it's just incomplete.
El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie (2019)
I needn't have worried
I was worried about this when Netflix announced it. Was it necessary? Would it try to be something different to the tv series? I didn't watch the trailer. I pressed play with what I'm sure was a concerned look on my face. I needn't have worried. Vince Gilligan pulled it off as usual, and managed to convince me along the way that this was a story worth telling. It is not an action movie, which was perhaps my biggest concern. It draws you right back into the Br Ba universe. It's almost comfortable watching, like seeing old friends. It only seems to add, not subtract from the original masterpiece, and having seen it I can't imagine the story feeling complete without it.
Fractured (2019)
No surprises
Not really sure what the point of this film was. It's already been done to death. Nothing surprising at all, with 'twists' you see coming from a mile away. Mediocre acting from pretty much everyone involved. The pacing was good though and overall I didn't hate it.
Afflicted (2018)
They're sick, just not in the way they think they are
At first I was disappointed at what seemed like yet another pseudo-scientific documentary series on Netflix. But the more I watched, I realised it was not taking a sympathetic stance to these made up illnesses, but rather showing the raw reality of living with them. The extreme lengths these people go to just to try and ease their suffering is very sad. The fact that none of them seem capable of acknowledging the idea that their illness may be psychosomatic is sadder still. But probably the worst part is all the medical quacks taking advantage of their suffering and isolation from reality. These people really are sick. They really need help. And they aren't getting it.
Calibre (2018)
Contrived, but enjoyable
Let's just say there's a fair amount of deus ex machina required to bring together this hunting-trip-gone-wrong thriller. But it did a decent job of maintaining tension throughout. Last act was nonsensical and final shot was super lame IMO. Still didn't hate it overall. Eden Lake is far superior.
Reasonable Doubt (2014)
Should be called Suspension of Disbelief
The Hitchcockian plot is kind of perfect for a fun-little-detective-movie, but this film just does not get it right. The dialogue, the police work, the court room scenes...are all totally unbelievable. If you can suspend your disbelief enough you might enjoy the ride. I couldn't get past it.
Knock Knock (2015)
Eli Roth does it again
I actually really enjoyed this little thrill ride of a movie. This is quintessential Eli Roth film making. I think he writes fairly well, but his direction is sometimes lacking. The first third of this film is awkward, directionless, and unnecessary. Keanu was not convincing as a father in these scenes. When the girls showed up, that was when Eli Roth's unique twisted mind did what it does best. The build up of suspense is actually wonderful. The actresses did an excellent job. For me, the sex and nudity is not something I want or need to see, but it just wouldn't be Eli Roth without it I guess. Some good music choices too. Worth checking out if you are into this genre.
Berlin Syndrome (2017)
Haunting and absolutely terrifying
Wow! This film really builds up the tension. I don't want to say much about the third act, except that I think it was good. I particularly enjoyed the sound design in this film, and how it added so much to the suspense and mystery. I wasn't immediately sold on the actors, but they sort of grew on me. They certainly played their roles well, I just felt like maybe they were lacking a bit of emotional range or chemistry with each other. It didn't detract from what is a truly excellent horror film of its genre. It is brutal, genuinely scary, haunting. You truly feel the hopelessness and anguish of the female character. The sheer dread of her situation. You wonder how you would behave if you found yourself in that same scenario. That's what good horror is all about.