d-alston Reviews

Leave the World Behind (2023)

Why do people have a problem with the ending?

[7/10 · 6 May 2024]

I'm completely baffled by those who think the movie didn't have a proper ending.

I'm not quite sure what they could possibly have expected.

As it turns out (and I almost predicted it to myself two thirds of the way through) the final scene is an almost poetic conclusion that says much without speaking a word.

With digital technology absent, and microwave radiation affecting the psychology of the wild life, civilisation quickly crashes (sometimes literally) and selfishness and paranoia begins to emerge.

The world of today is only ever inches away from a possibility like this.

Even though the film has a lengthy run time, I think this might have worked even better as a mini-series. Nevertheless, it does the job it set out to do, and is definitely worth a watch.

Glass (2019)

A fairly weak finale, thanks to some daft ideas.

[5/10 · 26 April 2024]

The movie is fairly entertaining, mainly thanks to the lead actors' performances; in particular, the one delivered by James McAvoy.

The problem which drags things down lies in the writing, which tries to persuade us to take silliness seriously.

It's damned near impossible to be impressed by the constant attempts of characters to make modern comic book tropes portentous and fatalistic.

It's equally difficult to take the final revelation seriously, since it would all be so easy to undermine and debunk, and it's difficult to understand why Sarah Paulson's character is so defeated by the "leak" that she is reduced to screaming in a hallway.

The preceding two movies in the trilogy have a much greater sense of gravitas, which makes the finale seem weak by comparison.

The most interesting elements happen in the first two thirds of the movie, with the final third being something of a let-down.

It's not a bad film to pass some time with, but that's about it.

Spaceman (I) (2024)

A long journey to enlightenment.

[7/10 · 19 April 2024]

A philosophical story about coming to understand what actually matters in life, using the isolation of a lone man, Jakub, who is on a space mission to study an anomaly which has appeared in the solar system.

The solitary scientist is joined on board the space ship by an interstellar life form which resembles a giant spider, who is trying to understand the human race.

Back on Earth, Jakub's pregnant wife is planning on revealing to Jakub that she is leaving him, because his obsessions have always excluded her and she can no longer bear the loneliness of being married to him.

Jakub, through his conversations with the alien visitor, comes to understand himself, his motives and the baggage he has been carrying since childhood.

The outer space setting is expansive and mysterious, but this movie is for poetic souls rather than hard sci-fi or action fans.

It has a melancholy beauty which ultimately delivers a sense of hope within the vastness of the cosmos.

You Can't Kill Stephen King (2012)

Not as bad as some claim.

[5/10 · 4 April 2024]

While this is not as witty as it probably hoped to be, this is not as bad as some here claim.

It seems to want to be something akin to the Scary Movie series, but doesn't reach those heights.

It's entertaining enough, though, if you want something harmless to pass the time.

Since this review is apparently - and for no sensible reason that I can guess - too short to qualify, I'll say it all again: While this is not as witty as it probably hoped to be, this is not as bad as some here claim.

It seems to want to be something akin to the Scary Movie series, but doesn't reach those heights.

It's entertaining enough, though, if you want something harmless to pass the time.

The Pale Door (2020)

Reviewers seem to be heavily under-rating this movie.

[9/10 · 14 February 2024]

What could have been a mediocre B-movie is saved by a hugely-likeable group of lead male characters, and a valiant attempt at an emotional back story.

In terms of character, this film occupies cinematic territory which is much better explored by the movie Bone Tomahawk, but it nevertheless adds up to something which works, in spite of the daft depiction of the witches, and some odd editing choices which don't always string events together well and result in a sometimes-patchy narrative.

Worth watching for the main cast and the characters they play.

It's not worth a rating of 9 (6.5 would be accurate for me) but the balance of the low scores here needs to be redressed.

The Devil on Trial (2023)

The Warrens were no heroes. Quite the opposite.

[4/10 · 28 October 2023]

I have to give this rather uninspired documentary a four rather than a one because it does spend some time stating the well-known facts that Ed and Lorraine Warren were a pair of money-grubbing charlatans who didn't care how much damage they did in order to make a buck.

The dysfunction of the family who were their victims in this case is quite well-revealed The hysteria which, in particular, the mother ("My son has had a scary dream; we'd better call a priest") encouraged puts things in motion.

Then, once Ed Warren had given little David a specific list of instructions on how to act possessed (whilst pretending that he's just warning the family what David might start to do, whilst David is sitting there listening to all of this) the rest of the melodrama is kicked into gear.

David does his best to act possessed: "I'm your mother!" says Mrs Whatever-her-name-is, as her son growls and spits.

"You're a douchebag!" says Satan, via David.

Mr What-ever-his-name is finally spanks his naughty son and tells him to quit all of this nonsense, at which point the boy walks over to a chair and sits there quietly sulking.

(The power of spanks compelled him.)

The next victim of Satan's body-hopping, Arne, has an even less impressive story than his younger brother's, and this older brother is lucky he didn't serve more years in prison than he did for the murder of his landlord. Apparently, Satan hopped in, inflicted four stab wounds, and then hopped straight out again.

Meanwhile, the Warrens get this gullible family to sign over the rights for them to write a book about the events, and then screw the gullible victims out of a fortune. Various members of the family fought to get some money out of he Warrens but with no success, as the Warrens sold movie rights for their various cases and laughed all the way to bank.

If you've seen the Conjuring movie which launched this sad little story into an orbit of the absurd, then don't expect the same sort of shenanigans here. There's nothing to write home about, because all of it is, and always was, nonsense.

The Possessed (2021)

Fun and well-performed.

[8/10 · 21 July 2023]

There is no accounting for the judgement of others when they accuse this movie of being full of bad actors giving lousy performances.

No such thing is present in this film. The actors are deliberately giving somewhat loose interpretations of the dialogue to add a sense of realism, but everyone involved is doing a good job.

The other thing this odd little movie has going for it is the fact that all of the characters are very likeable, so the rather repetitive set pieces somehow don't become irritating as they would do in other movies.

None of the characters possess anything resembling a character arc, but this doesn't seem to matter.

All of the possessions are realised in ways we've all seen a hundred times before, but this also doesn't seem to matter.

I had a good time with the film, liked all of the characters, and was on their side throughout.

The only naff part of the film was the claim that it was based on the true story of Charlie X, and this daft old charlatan is seen in clips during the closing credits. He even manages to make Ed and Lorraine Warren seem credible, which is really saying something.

All in all, this is a fun way to pass some time.

Tales from the Hood 2 (2018 Video)

Abysmal and embarrassing.

[1/10 · 3 May 2023]

How could these scripts have ever been green-lit?

There is nothing to laugh at, nothing to be intrigued by, nothing to be scared of and absolutely nothing to be learned.

The writing is puerile, the stories are unimaginative and painfully predictable and the third-grader's guide to social commentary will be embarrassing to anyone beyond that age group.

This movie is an insult to the intelligence and the thing that makes it worse is that it seems to believe that it exists to give more visibility to people of colour.

Let's just hope that no one who cares about civil rights ever has to sit through this embarrassing nonsense.

Horror Noire (2021)

A wasted opportunity.

[4/10 · 18 April 2023]

While the subject matter of the stories is intended to explore racial problems using the horror genre, the film mostly falls flat because of sub-standard writing.

By far the worst of the bunch is the second segment - a truly dreadful script - but elsewhere there isn't really much that shines, in spite of the very competent cast.

Thanks to Laura Crichlow's performance, the most successful story is probably the period piece, and elements of humour sometimes rescues the final story from mediocrity.

Overall, a wasted opportunity which doesn't do black cinema much in the way of favours.

Given that this site is now insisting that I type more, and having nothing else of importance to say, I'll point out that it's now raining outside my window.

Outlast (2023– )

Reality or illusion?

[3/10 · 12 March 2023]

It's very, very difficult to not believe that this show has been set up using improvisational actors following a loose script and a designed plot.

Everything eventually starts playing out like a soap opera with endless convenient moments of discovery and character arcs that would be hard to swallow within fiction, let alone in reality.

Most suspicious of all is the fact that three such irredeemably-vile people as Jill, Amber and Justin would somehow end up on a single team and become soap-opera villains of the first order, complete with psychopathy and delusional levels of projection.

If this is actually real then it's the sort of thing that could destroy any viewer's faith in humanity. I can only hope that it's all a fake-out and that these three people are actors rather than monsters.

The Walking Deceased (2015)

An entertaining spoof that works quite well.

[6/10 · 9 February 2023]

Well, this one seems to have rankled quite a few. I can't think why.

It's quite an entertaining spoof of various entries from the Zombie sub-genre, with The Walking Dead most heavily referenced.

The cast do a good job with the nonsense, and seem to be enjoying themselves.

There isn't really a dull moment, and some of the jokes are really good, such as the intelligent zombie's inner monologue when he gets fed up with the mindless zombies following him, Sheriff Lincoln's pronunciation of his son's name ("Corerrrl") and the anti-climax of the "Daryl" character when he finally arrives.

It's not going to win any awards, but it's fun to watch.

Interview with the Vampire (2022– )

I was so worried ... but this is beautiful.

[10/10 · 5 October 2022]

As a long-time fan of the book (and also quite fond of the movie) I was worried about the prospect of this show, having heard about the changes that had been made to the character of Louis, and the effect that might have on the narrative.

Usually, radical changes to the source material annoy me. But once in a while, someone does it and it absolutely works.

Anne Rice would have loved this!

Needless to say, it looks beautiful, but that's just the icing on the cake.

Jacob Anderson gives a powerful performance as Louis, whose transformation into a black brothel owner adds a power dynamic to his relationship with Lestat that makes this all so much more dramatic than it was in the original. And the chemistry between himself and Sam Reid, playing what must surely become the definitive Lestat, is absolutely mesmerising.

The show is beautifully, intelligently written and splendidly performed, adding dimensions to the tale which I really welcome as an established fan.

The eroticism is proud and up front, where it belongs, and I can't wait to see where all of this is going.

Psalm 21 (2009)

A film that's misunderstood - on purpose?

[10/10 · 28 August 2022]

I can see perfectly well why certain people would reject this movie out of hand, since - in spite of their possible expectations - this is not a horror film, but a scathing indictment of fundamentalist religion and an examination of the destrucive impact that the sexual abuse of children will have on many lives.

If I had to criticise the film I would have to observe that the tone is somewhat over-emotional at times, in many of the characters, including the main lead, whose inner "demons" have produced a volcano of repressed feelings which are obvious throughout the movie.

The performances are strong, the writing is decent, the imagery and the direction are effective and the message is laudable.

Do the nay-sayers really believe that this is a bad movie, or do they regard it as simply striking too close to home.?

In the interests of balance, I have given this a rating of ten, but it actually deserves a seven.

The Unborn (2009)

Spare yourself this weakly-conceived pile of clichés.

[2/10 · 27 August 2022]

If this had been written and made in the early 1980s it might have been acceptable, but there's no excuse for this collection of hackneyed, worn-out tropes in the twenty-first century.

It might have worked as an early filler episode of The X-files, but it wouldn't have stood out within the season as being anything special The writing is unbelievably lazy and unconsidered, as if churned out to fulfil a tedious contract.

The lead character is a lazy and shallow symbol of outdated horror films, but she's not alone: Most of the characters are superficial, badly directed, badly conceived and weakly performed.

The usual "Why won't you believe me?" plot unfolds ; the lead character's boyfriend accuses his girlfriend of just being hormonal, and her best friend explains away visions of zombies, ghosts and a tidal wave of bugs in a night-club bathroom on the fact that the woman has had a couple of drinks and must have been "buzzing".

The film-makers seem to believe that other people's scary dreams are going to be frightening to watch, so that's what they keep inflicting upon the viewer - who will, themselves, have trouble staying awake as children sit facing away from us in chairs within spooky attics, so that the lead character has to approach them, only to discover that they have deformed, skeletal faces as the music screams "Boo!" at you.

The lead character will sit up in bed, sweating at this point, but the audience will have already lost the will to live and so won't care.

It's all been shovelled into this film: The unborn twin that was choked by the lead character's umbilical cord, the Nazi doctor who was experimenting on twins, the spooky kid next door who stands outside in the snow and stares up at the lead character's window during the night and lots and lots of white pancake makeup and contact lenses.

A wise old holocaust survivor writes to the lead girl and says, "It has fallen upon you to finish what was started in Auschwitz - it won't rest until it's had its revenge," before she's murdered by the spooky kid whose head lunges out of the shadows (Boo!).

Quiet moments are punctured as hands burst through walls (Boo!).

Some have said that it all gets better in the latter part of the movie.

It doesn't.

It simply reveals more clearly what an exhausted pile of drivel it all is.

The afflicted girl thrashes on a gurney while the rabbi, Gary Oldman, blows on his magic, Jewish horn and priests are buffeted by an infernal gale in a basement.

Yawn your way through this if you must, but I'd advise against it.

Office Invasion (2022)

Perspective required.

[10/10 · 11 August 2022]

This movie isn't worth a score of 10, but it's so far beyond warranting the low scores that some are giving it that some balance must be restored.

This is a fairly entertaining, daftly-comedic office saga with likeable characters, well-played by the actors, and a tone that veers strangely between cartoonish absurdity and genuine character development; a bit like the mockumentary,The office, did.

Things don't get truly bizarre until the last thirty-five minutes, when the extra-terrestrials reveal themselves, but the characters are engaging enough to help the nonsense along.

I liked watching it, and would happily watch it again at some point in the future, if nothing else grabbed my attention.

Outer Range (2022– )

A monotonous depiction of the last place you'd ever want to live.

[3/10 · 7 May 2022]

This show, unfortunately, outstays its welcome after a few episodes, largely because the atmosphere is dull, the emotional flavour is grim and humourless, the pace is quite plodding, and the characters - with the possible exception of the sheriff - are unlikeable.

Yes, there's a science-fiction element, but it fails to salvage the bleak tedium because it is all so vague and unexplored.

No more of this is required.

Cracow Monsters (2022– )

Who could possibly care?

[2/10 · 20 March 2022]

I've watched four episodes in the hope it would improve somewhat, but I'm fairly sure now that it won't. The problems with this affair include a roster of unlikeable, unengaging characters, none of whom have the slightest chemistry with each other; an overall bleakness on every level which is magnified by a complete absence of humour and a tedious mythology which demands a lot of attention from the viewer while providing nothing of interest to keep that attention fixed on the plot. It's very difficult to care about any of this, or any of the characters within it.

Copperman (2019)

Not quite sugar-free, but still good for you.

[7/10 · 23 October 2021]

Anselmo, a child-like innocent of a man believes the fantasy his mother supplied to him to explain the absence of his father: he's explained as being a superhero who's out in the world somewhere, "cleaning it up".

Anselmo decides to follow in his dad's footsteps and becomes the somewhat accident-prone Copperman.

Along the way he helps his childhood girlfriend Titti, who is now grown but who still suffers from the presence of her abusive monster of a father.

This is a whimsical, feel-good fairy-tale of a movie. You'll have to put any cynicism you have on hold for a while in order to watch it, but it's great if you're in the mood for something that's very sweet and often amusing.

Annette (2021)

Dark, musical and magical.

[10/10 · 22 August 2021]

This is a story about passion, greed, exploitation and murder.

But It's also an intriguing and sumptuous movie that may fly over the heads of (and consequently irritate) those who only speak the language of the mainstream Hollywood output.

There's very little for such viewers to hold on to here.

Ron and Russell Mael of Sparks (the tour de force of pop music who have been creating and innovating genres for decades) provide the music and the script for this rock opera (probably slightly more opera than rock most of the time) in which very little spoken dialogue is allowed; replaced instead by melodic riffs, musical vignettes, and several full-on songs, some of which feature snippets from earlier Sparks songs. My only complaint with the music is that some of the catchier pieces don't last nearly long enough.

Leos Carax, the director, tells a visually-stylised story about a celebrity couple whose relationship is eroded by simmering envy as one partner sees his career take a nose dive, while the other's soars to greater heights.

Adam Driver acts his socks off as an edgy comedian whose artistry emerges from a truculent and self-serving personality, while Marion Cotillard does her best to share the limelight as a much more demure and angelic presence.

There's also a great turn by Simon Helberg, notably as he delivers emotional verbal exposition whilst conducting an orchestra.

The deliberately and obviously studio-bound sets add a huge amount to the theatrical, fantasy atmosphere: Most strikingly when the two leads alternately wrestle and dance on the swaying deck of a yacht, in front of the obvious back projection of gigantic waves - and whenever the character of their daughter, Annette, is present, since she is (unapologetically and blatantly) an animatronic puppet.

This eponymous child adds a supernatural element to the story - but, since even the more mundane situations to be found here are rendered with a trippy, surreal quality, the child's other-wordly ability is easy to take in stride.

The music is alternately epically- symphonic, edgy and rocky, melodic and poppy and new-wave cacophonous.

I simply can't understand viewers who claimed they were bored during this movie.

Not only was I riveted throughout, I instantly wanted to watch it all again.

I really feel like awarding this an "8/10", but am giving it a"10" in order to counteract the inexplicable scores of "1" that I've seen.

La Révolution (2020)

Off with the heads of those historical purists.

[8/10 · 29 June 2021]

I've scored this a little more highly than it deserves, in order to counteract the dumbness of those who are criticising a lack of historical accuracy in a show which is a complete and total fantasy.

The allegory is very heavy-handed in this fiction, and it's easy to imagine the "what if" thought process that kicked it all off: What if the bluebloods of eighteenth-century France really did have blue blood, and exploited the unwashed masses by literally eating them?

Given the deliberate lack of intention to acknowledge real history in any way, the showrunners also felt free to indulge in the rather irritating current trend of inserting gender and racial equality into times and places in which they don't belong, but the show doesn't go too overboard with this.

The overall result is quite fun and a binge-worthy diversion that I happily consumed in three sittings.

The characters are not very complex and the plot won't keep you awake at night as you ponder it, but it's all competently done and a respectable fantasy historical with which to pass some time.

The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It (2021)

The usual exploitation, but with fewer scares.

[2/10 · 7 June 2021]

By far the weakest of the "true stories" (yeah, right) that the Conjuring universe has delivered, with predictable attempts at evoking horror by using some well-worn tropes of the genre, including the usual body contortions of the possessed, accompanied by some OTT bone-crunching sounds.

Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga offer their usual good performances as they try hard to forget the fact that they're actually responsible for turning two money-grabbing charlatans into heroes.

Julian Hillard is also good as the possessed child in the opening scenes.

This might entertain you if you can put your brain on hold for a while, but don't waste money paying to see it at theatres.

The Nevers (2021–2023)

A superior paranormal historical drama.

[10/10 · 19 April 2021]

The second show to emerge in the past few weeks with a paranormal theme, set in Victorian London; but this one gets everything right where "The Irregulars" misjudged on every level.

The writing and the characterisation within "The Nevers" are above the usual bar set by this type of program, which makes the fantastic events seem more plausible than they otherwise might have.

Some of the more touchy egos among viewers might be expressing disdain at the fact that yet another show is presenting men as being oppressive and judgemental while the women are cast as the victims. This is an understandable complaint aimed at shows where the drama is set in the twenty-first century Western world, but as we're dealing with Victorian England, where women were certainly under the heel of male authority, this is acceptable and not contrived virtue-signalling.

After two episodes, this seems to be of comparable quality to shows such as "Carnival Row" and "Penny Dreadful".

I'm hoping the standard remains as high throughout the season, and - if so - that it's successful enough to be renewed.

The Irregulars (2021)

Dumbed-down frolics for a rainy day.

[3/10 · 27 March 2021]

There are several problems with this, with the main one probably being the writing: The characterisations are simplistically hammered home, rather than organically evolved via the plot; the storylines are incredibly contrived and contain conveniences and coincidences galore and the dialogue lacks nuance and any sense of being genuine.

The characters are the result of a committee sitting in a room and ticking boxes for an afternoon, and we are asked to believe in impossible levels of intellectual sophistication on the part of the lead street urchin: an empowered girl straight out of the twenty-first century.

The sensibility of the show makes no attempt to portray the characters as being the product of the time in which they're supposed to be living, the diversity strains all attempts at suspending disbelief, and the inclusion of contemporary music styles into the drama smashes whatever style might have remained to this rather lazy and thoughtlessly-devised affair The actors mainly seem to be doing their very best, but they have an uphill struggle to make this thing work in any way.

If you can cope with another dumbed-down, supernatural, monster-of-the-week show which only vaguely pretends to be in any way historical, then you might find some casual, effortless entertainment here somewhere.

Bone Tomahawk (2015)

Cleverly scripted and extremely enjoyable Western/horror movie.

[9/10 · 22 January 2021]

Excellent, and very unusual Western movie with some horror elements in the mix. The writing is great, bringing vividly-drawn, immensely-likeable characters, to life with considered, intelligent writing. There is an undercurrent of almost-humorous wit which lightens the grimness, and not a single cliché can be found throughout this story of heroism and hardship. The performances are uniformly great. There's nothing flashy on any level, and it works all the better for that. I was impressed.

Utopia (2020)

The mistake I made was to watch the British version first.

[4/10 · 30 September 2020]

I decided to watch the British version through before taking a look at this, which was probably a mistake. Instead of being gritty and interesting, the fugitives in the new version have a frothy high-school vibe, Jessica Hyde has lost the classy demeanour and the neurotic self-possession to become a thuggish brat, the personality of the child, Carl, has been watered down so that none of the powder-keg anger and rebellion springing from a childhood of neglect remains and the psychopathic assassins are nothing like as sinister, demented and quirky as the originals. The British version demanded patience and intelligence from its viewers, while the American version dumbs-down the plot and serves up heavy exposition from the word go. Even the bizarre and cryptic artwork from the original series, in which clues were buried, has now been transformed into a literal comic strip. Instead of the moody and atmospheric soundscape of the first version, we now have pop music underscoring some of the transitional scenes. This new version is glitzy and superficial where the original was stylish and deep. Although the original version didn't conclude at the end of its final (second) season - and this one might eventually extend further to wind up the story - I'm not sure I can watch the rest of this, knowing how significantly inferior it is; I probably wouldn't have had as much of a problem if I'd only ever seen this predictably-Americanised remake. If you only ever watch one of them, ditch this one in favour of the first.