czianoIJ Reviews

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (2008)

Cack

[4/10 · 6 August 2008]

Well.. I went to see this film on its debut and had to queue for 30 minutes to experience the end of the mummy series.

I have read that Maria Bello and Luke Ford have signed up for more fun-filled CGI Mummies however after this showing it will be direct to DVD.

Rob Cohen had a hard act to follow taking over from an already popular franchise and he attempted to take it in a completely new direction, however he has failed. This film centres around Alex O' Connell and the tomb of the dragon emperor. Alex (Luke Ford) Is not too bad as he looks like his dad Rick (Brendan Fraser) But he hams it up and attempts to play the lead role and poorly attempts to replicate him. Fraser is not the same action packed player as portrayed in the previous movies, He is an old fashioned tomb raider and past it on this showing. Evelyn - now played by Mario Bello has not got the same chemistry with Rick (Fraser) They seem like complete strangers throughout and her tackey English accent seems to be enough for her to be the replacement for Rachel Weiz.... Well Give me a Wig and i'll do it better..

Jet Li is not in this film very much (and when he is, he is portrayed by a suspect looking poreclain figure who breathes fire) and i believe he is only here as he is massive in asia and this will probably push the Mummy 3 ahead of Batman!! - Good move by the producers ey!!!

The only saving grace for this film is John Hannah(Jonathan) as his character has not changed and he is the same bumbling divv as he was before- he offers mild comic relief and opens a nice plot for any future films - please no!!!!

Overall The mummy needs to take a rest for a while, despite its popularity and its millions at the box office- where can it go???

Jaws: The Revenge (1987)

Jaws finally died in 1987

[1/10 · 13 March 2004]

This film killed off the Jaws trilogy, which is a shame as the first two were good. The plot started ok until somehow Michael had grown 4 foot since the last film. The next major floor was, how did a 20 ft shark (which growled like a lion) make it from the U.S. to the carribean. The dialogue was made up as the film progressed and the addition of Michael Caine to the film as the corney cross-eyed pilot 'Hoagie' just made the film mediocre. Jaws has finally been laid to rest after this feeble effort to reclaim some pride after the farce (later re-named Jaws 3-D) 1/10 ijh

Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman (2000 Video)

Snow in Hawaii???

[15 December 2003]

Well this film is actually better than some of the comedies that you see these days. It looks like a home made movie with a budget of £5 / $3 for you american fans. It does have a plot though, somehow a smowman swims to hawaii. Friggin great - rent it now

Eyes Down (2003–2004)

A bit Cheesy.

[14 December 2003]

Eyes Down! is a cheesy British comedy set in a bingo hall with predictable jokes and tired acting. If it didn't have Paul O' Grady starring in it, it would be more of a family drama. The canned laughter seems to laugh before the gag is actually carried out. It beats anything else the BBC seems to be knocking out these days. Lets see what the next series delivers..