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The Simpsons (1989)
A Show That Should've Never Entered the 21st Century. Better than South Park, though.
Okay, maybe I was too harsh when I said that, but the truth is, this show is, in fact, extremely overrated. Don't get me wrong, I USED to love it, but now it's getting old; as in it should've never even entered the 21st century.
To start off, I'm very unimpressed with the animation. It's dull and tacky; and where's the vibrancy? Plus most of the character movements are forced, particularly the facial expressions of Marge Simpson and "Comic Book Guy" (who came up with these names?); to be honest, it looks as if this show is made on the cheap. I may or may not be the only one to complain about this, but the characters' skins are mostly yellow while others are brown, which indicates a pinch of laziness, and it certainly doesn't help that color's all over the place. Even "101 Dalmations: The Series" had better animation than this, and yet it was low-budget for goodness sake.
The music isn't much better. The music scores and the theme songs are both kind of pleasant if unmemorable, but in general the musical numbers are poor. Maybe not as bad as those ear-bleeding songs from the "Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo" episode of "South Park", and not as badly sung either, but it isn't saying much. I think I need to talk about the worst one. That is "Freedom" from that one episode where children fight against grown-ups, and in my opinion is a perfect example of complete unnessecaty, and one that's so bad it's hilarious. With the uncanny music, non-sense lyrics and horrible singing, it was bland and terrible to listen to. Which is rather pathetic, seeing how Danny Elfman has done wonderful music scores for "Chicago", "Corpse Bride" and "The Nightmare Before Christmas". Perhaps he's uninspired with what he has to work with.
Maybe I am alone in this, but the characters aren't that very likable. Homer Simpson, instead of being the headstrong funny protagonist I keep hoping for (maybe my expectations are too high), is always dry as a cactus. Bart and Lisa are rather clichéd children, and despite one being a troublemaker (Bart) and the other being smart, intelligent, and caring for the environment (Lisa), are as dried up as well, and Marge's voice is so dried up that you want to smack her in the face. Not even Maggie or any other side characters have any real charm.
The episodes are, how do I put it, bad. There is very little humor in each episode, and the writing is stale and the lines clichéd. You always feel as if you've seen it before, I certainly have. So much so, the side characters have very little to do in Springfield, and the dialogue is sappy and wishy-washy. If there's any comedy in an episode, it's unintentional. I am of course talking about everything -- the regulars, the two-three parters, even the "Treehouse of Horror" specials. The endings leave me dissatisfied, not only 'cause they are all happy endings but also 'cause it makes each episodes feel rather abrupt.
But as the characters are lifeless and unengaging, same applies to the voice acting. While most of the voices are annoying, others have few points of energy to carry on an episode. Dan Castellaneta tries his best playing Homer, Grandpa Abe, Groundskeeper Willie, and so many others, but is always hampered down by the material he's given. Same applies to Yeardley Smith as Lisa. Most of the actors, like Julie Kavner as Marge, Patty and Selma, Harry Shearer as Ned Flanders, and Tress MacNielle as several females read their lines as if they're reading out of a story book, and believe me, that's quite boring. Nancy Cartwright appears to be the only one having fun, but, like Castellaneta, is given so much to do as Bart, Ralph Wiggum, Todd Flanders, etc.
Overall, this show is mediocre. It's not terrible, but bland. **** out of **********.
Die Abenteuer von Pico und Columbus (1992)
This film is tedious, noisy and banal. It is also disrespectful to the real life Christopher Colombus, though it does have the familiar bombcast of a Mr. Magoo cartoon.
This could be, by far, the worst animated foreign film ever made. Surely it's the worst I've ever seen in a long time.
Why would the Germans try to tell a story about Christopher Columbus? This is insulting to history, insulting to children's intelligence, and, worst of all, insulting to Columbus and his crewmates. This is actually so bad I can't even put it in paragraphs. How bad is this movie? How is it misguided? How is it so insulting to history? Here's a quick checklist:
01. A Talking Bookworm Named Pico (Corey Feldman, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)
02. A Princess Firefly Named Marilyn (Irene Cara, Fame)
03. An Evil "Swarm-Lord"
04. Pico Telling Christopher Columbus (Dom DeLuise, The Secret of NIMH) That the World Is Flat When In Reality Columbus Figured It Out Himself
05. Columbus Going To The King & Queen To Tell Them His/Pico's Idea Of Finding The New World When In Real Life It Was The King & Queen Who Told Columbus To Find the New World
06.Stereotypical Crewmates
07. The Most Corny-as-Hell Dream Sequence Where Columbus Pulls A Spyglass Out of His Penis
08. The Crewmates Trying To Hang Columbus When In Reality It Never Happened
09. Talking Beavers Helping Pico and Marilyn Defeat the Swarm-Lord
10. Columbus Using A Sock-Puppet To Get The Long-Found Gold. Again, It Never Happened.
11. Stereotypical Natives In The New World
12. The Most Sugar-Coated Ending In Which the Natives Honor Columbus, Columbus, Pico and Marilyn All Heading Home Alive and Safe and Columbus Talking About How The World Will Improve Within the Next 2,000 Years. There's Not Even An Epilogue That Tells How Several Of Columbus's Crewmates Were Killed By the Natives.
See how bad this movie is? Not only that, it rips off Jim Henson's "The Dark Crystal" and "Labyrinth", as well as Don Bluth movies like "The Secret of NIMH", "All Dogs Go to Heaven" and "A Troll In Central Park" (and I thought THAT movie was bad.). The only saving graces of this movie are Dom DeLuise and Irene Cara. Other than that, it's loud, rude, and TOTALLY disrespectful to history.
** out of **********
Hugo (2011)
THE BEST Movie of 2011!!
2011 has been the year for some fairly disappointing movies, but Hugo just about makes up for it all! My expectations were incredibly high. I went to see it with my friend... AND MY EXPECTATIONS CAME TRUE!!! Everybody in this movie's got talent - Asa Butterfield [>-)], Chloe Grace Moretz, Ben Kingsley, Emily Mortimer, Christopher Lee, Frances De La Tour, Helen McCrory... you name it! The storyline is brilliant! The train station is HUGE! The inside of the station is SO BEAUTIFUL! Everything about this movie is breathtakingly SPECTACULAR! Congratulations, Martin Scorsesce! You are SURE to win Best Director for the next Academy Awards!