Change Your Image
onethousandowls
Ratings
Most Recently Rated
Lists
An error has ocurred. Please try againReviews
Meg 2: The Trench (2023)
Good, mindless fin. I mean fun.
It has sharks and dinosaurs and a giant octopus. It has a lot of hi-tech gear and some pretty aquatic scenery. There's a really cool scene shot from inside the Meg's mouth and another scene where the Meg eats a T-Rex. There's lots of guns and hot muscly men punching each other. It doesn't have quite as much heart as the first one did, but it has about the same amount of blood and guts. There's some fun throwbacks to Jaws and a missed reference to Jurassic Park that would have been very funny. It's not going to be mistaken for a cinematic masterpiece, but it's fun for a night of campy and mindless comedic action.
Critters Attack! (2019)
I mean, good for what it is?
The Critter movies have always been corny and goofy. This one joins the team, and I don't think it's a super bad take.
I was super angry about the continuity error. If loud noises are the Crites' weakness, then the bagpipe guy should have lived because bagpipes are high-pitched. That one error made the writers seem sloppy and uncaring.
There was no real conclusion to the movie, however.
Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (2019)
Please don't let this be it.
I enjoyed Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark, although I do wish they had included more of the stories or done an anthology style series instead. I definitely could tell they were inspired by IT and Stranger Things for a time piece, and can't ignore the fact that Goosebumps did the whole "Bring The Story To Life" bit recently (although it wasn't the first). I feel like Me Tie Dough-ty Walker was probably the best monster, with Harold coming in close second. I think they did a pretty good job with bringing Gammell's awesome illustrations to life. The twist on Harold was actually better than the original story, in my opinion (it is one of my favorites). The Toe scene fell a bit weak for me and I wish they'd used another story in its place.
I really would have liked to have seen The Drum, The Girl Who Stood on a Grave, and The Wolf Girl, to make a few favorites. Overall, good movie, but I hope it's not the last film adaptation of the books.
Bonnie & Clyde (2013)
Stick with the classic (or a documentary).
I don't claim to be an expert on Bonnie & Clyde, nor even to have as avid an interest as some of the other reviews I've read pertaining to this title, but I still appreciate some degree of honesty whenever the story focuses on real characters. And I am going to go ahead and assume that this movie has more plot holes than it has bullet holes.
Clyde is portrayed as more of a foil for Bonnie, who seems to boss him around and have no interest in him or anything but the thrill of notoriety. I don't know how much of this is true, but it did seem to me that Bonnie & Clyde were supposed to be lovers rather than a one-sided fling. Clyde has a weird third sight that basically serves as an ongoing spoiler and as a way to make the film more exciting (because God knows nothing else does). Bonnie just seems kind of obsessed and prone to panic attacks whenever the spotlight isn't on her.
The movie basically consists of a bunch of boring dialogue, pointless historical inaccuracies, and newspapers summarizing what would be the real action of the robberies. In short, a documentary would be much more exciting and informative of Bonnie & Clyde's story.
I watched this all in one 3-hour dosage on Netflix, and it wasn't so boring that it was unbearable, but it wasn't memorable or even a good way to kill my Saturday. The acting and filmography weren't all bad, but the plot and dialogue were dull and sometimes laughable.
Loaded (1994)
Pretentious and contrived
This movie is like that kid in philosophy class who thinks he knows everything - which would be totally fine, except for the fact that the film does not deliver in the slightest. The characters are unlovable and brash, the plot is dull and irregularly paced. While some may attribute this to being a metaphor for a car crash, I don't think the filmmakers had that in mind, or anything really. This film is only a tiny bit better than the one the kids make in the film. It honestly makes you question who was doing the acid, the characters or the filmmakers. I'd stay away, far far away unless you've got some acid handy, too.