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Shadyzar
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Portals (2019)
Cheap and boring
Cheap, because there's no real story. These portals show up, and that's about it.
Cheap, because the decors and sets are exactly that: cheap. Lightning and sound are also low quality. Lots of flashing lights (in stead of some decent sfx).
Cheap, because the directing seems to be like: "Yo camera dude, follow this person as close as possible!" Probably so there's no need for a decent set or for extra's.
Boring, because I stopped watching after half an hour. So maybe I missed some clarification, but it became too hard to watch. I rarely stop watching halfway through, because I think one should give every film a fair chance. And now I give it a solid 1.
Knives Out (2019)
That accent
A great whoddunit. A great cast that played really well and a very intriguing story. Agatha Christie would be jealous.
I loved to see Jamie Lee Curtis in a decent role again. Michael Shannon and Toni Colette are awesome as ever.
Directing is nothing fancy, but with a classic whoddunit that's okay. No need (nor material) for big special effects here. Still great scenery and creative use of flash backs.
Too bad someone thought it's a good idea to give Daniel Craig that fake accent. It just didn't feel genuine and consistent. Even worse than Brad Pitt in Inglourious Basterds. This was a major let down for me. I think it's a great movie, but it would be even more awesome if someone said no to that accent.
Panic (2021)
Refreshing story telling
This review is not about thinking it's good or bad. This review is just to share one great aspect of this series: its way of story telling: it's just straight forward!
A lot of series tell in every episode something about the past of the main characters. The obligatory flashbacks, you know it. In Panic they they leave that well-trodden path and tell story in chronological order.
That, and being a fairly show as well, makes it a solid 8 for me. Oh, now I did say something about good or bad...
Oculus (2013)
Keeps lingering.
It's been more than three years since I saw this movie, and I still can't get it out of my head. Every so often some images come to mind. And isn't that what true horror is about?
As soon it's available on Netflix or Prime, I'm gonna watch it again. In broad daylight this time.
DOA: Dead or Alive (2006)
A genre on its own
It's not a Hollywood blockbuster, but for watching it at home on the couch, it's the next best thing!
The fighting is very decent. Several moments are even play back worthy.
The story is... Well, there isn't really a story. In this movie that's not a problem; just enjoy the events as they unfold.
The acting is okay. What it makes more than okay, is that it is clear they had a great time on set. That makes it even more fun to watch.
The cast is well chosen and the characters are very, very likeable. Well, except Eric Roberts perhaps. He just feels a little misplaced.
Jaime Pressly is just great.
I really think this kind of movies are underrated. It's a genre on it's own: well done entertainment without disturbing side effects like bad editing, (too) cheap effects or pretentious directing.
The Scorpion King 3: Battle for Redemption (2012)
The two basic ingredients to make it a C-film
I had a really hard time watching this. See, for me watching a movie is like reading a book; no matter how bad it is delivered, I want to know the whole story.
No matter how bad it is, and believe me, this one is bad...
It's not the acting. No Oscar-material here, but decent enough to make it enjoyable.
It's not the story. Also no Oscar here, but suitable for an action movie.
It's not the scenery. Rocks, sand and dust. Like one might expect from the franchise.
It's the editing. Really strange & stupid scene transitions and a lot of talking (and I mean really a lot!) by people who are out of view. A typical b-movie symptom if you ask me. Very, very annoying. And all the voices sounds the same...
It's the money. Armies seem to be no more than 20 man. A castle consists of a few walls. That kind of stuff.
It's the directing. Whenever there's a fight, people are standing around, doing nothing while waiting for their turn. I guess you can blame most of the above on the director too.
Anyways, I'm gonna watch The Scorpion King 4 too, of course. Can't be worse than this. I think. I hope.
Escape Plan: The Extractors (2019)
Hard to watch
Every now and then you watch a movie and afterwards you want to ask the director and the crew; did you watch this yourself? Really? Didn't you think a single time: whoa, let's stop shining those flashlight into the camera? What is it with that over-use of flashlights anyway?
That really annoyed me and it turned out to be representative for the directing of the whole movie.
Story is poor. Like the most basic revenge story you can come up with, and than have it told by a little kid.
Main setting is supposedly "a hell of the worst kind" and "a maze". But it turns out to be just a poorly maintained prison that's everything short of a maze; people just walk in and out and have no problem or whatsoever to find each other. Showing only four or five rooms and a corridor doesn't give you a maze-feeling either.
Lots of those little things that shows nobody cared. How does it make sense that only once you're in the "maze", you think it might be a good idea to load your shotgun? Good for you that nobody saw you coming. You know, being in a heavily guarded maze and such...
Acting is very lazy, except for Stallone maybe. He tries to hard, like he's trying to save more than his girlfriend. A movie, for instance.
Scenes with Bautista are specially hard to watch. Looks like he has to do this because of contractual obligations, certainly not because he wants to.
A disappointment.
Le manoir (2017)
French going English
I think only the English can make a good comedy horror (or horror comedy...). I found it hard to believe this was actually a French movie. If you like that typically British horror, you should watch this one. It is best described as "French making English horror".
Story and acting are decent, though the story isn't really original.
AVPR: Aliens vs Predator - Requiem (2007)
AvP rocks, AvP2 doesn't...
I really loved AvP. Now finally I watched AvP2...
... and that turned out to be a major disappointment. Instead of watching the movie I found myself busy with the TV controls, trying to adjust the brightness so I could actually see something. Man, you Strause brothers really messed up here. Perhaps you should stick with the visual effects next time (considering the films you worked on you do that very well).
I found it hard to keep up with who is who during the movie. Maybe that says something about the acting, maybe it says something about me as a viewer. I blame it on the 'overall blackness'.
Maybe, just maybe I might have liked it when I actually could see something. After all, I loved AvP...
Donnie Darko (2001)
Over rated
It seems I expected too much of this movie. I've read a couple of reviews and thought I really needed to see it. So I did.
Disappointing... The story is very... Well, actually I couldn't find a clear one. It's more like a random collection of events. Some of them make sense, some of them don't. It's assumed this is Jake Gyllenhaal's break through. Hard to believe, I don't think his acting is _that_ good. His face keeps the same expression the whole movie. I know he can do better. The first time I saw him was in The Day After Tomorrow. Fairly good performance. So maybe he kind of evolved after Donnie Darko.
There aren't any visual outstanding scenes in the movie. Combined with the lack of a decent story and the no-more-than-average acting it's a 6 at the most.
AVP: Alien vs. Predator (2004)
Misunderstood by the critics
I've read a lot of (professional) reviews of this movie. Most of them were disappointed, to say the least. I consider myself as someone who knows the genre and I say it's a good film. Not great, but good.
It seems that most of the reviews are done by people who love movies like The Titanic, The diary of Bridget Jones and A Shark's tale. In short: all movies except SF/Horror. If you don't like the genre, you simply cannot review a movie like this. You don't have anything to compare it with, you're not familiair with the feeling you should get from watching it.
It is a good movie. The story is simple and straight forward. That is not a bad thing! It's a good thing too! Want a great, complex story? Watch Out of Africa, The Piano or a Shakespeare's play!
Aliens (1986)
After more than 15 years... still the best sf/action movie!
I've been a sf fan all my life, reading books and watching films. I've seen almost every "big" movie in the theater and lots more that's video-only. But I never saw a movie that hit me like Aliens does. After all those years. I still play the O Fortuna trailer several times a week!