pandoras Reviews

Coming 2 America (2021)

Totally unnecessary

[5/10 · 22 April 2023]

Well, actually the title I just gave to my review is misleading.

This movie is not totally unnecessary. It can help serve as an example and teach you something significant: Do not watch sequels that serve no other purpose than make some profit for their producers by bringing and selling nostalgia to movie watchers.

I think the original is a great comedy movie that makes the best of Eddie Murphy's and Arsenio Hall's acting. This sequel however, has no real purpose of existence. It is indifferent, maybe even annoying at time, a movie that will be absolutely immemorable to you. The most you can get out of this is learn a lesson of not watching 30 plus years later sequels.

I mean, I keep wondering how did I even expect this to be a fine movie to watch? The whole thing is just noisy and tires you. Eddie Murphy is almost a second character in this movie. Arsenio Hall is non-existent and everyone else just stands in the way. The plot is absurd, the execution pathetic, the film is, well, unnecessary!

The only thing that stands out, is Wesley Snipes performance. He brings to this movie all the lividity and fun it misses! It is only worth watching for when Snipes is on!

Wyatt Earp (1994)

You should better watch Tombstone

[7/10 · 8 October 2022]

There is a peculiar thing with "Wyatt Earp". It is not that bad a movie, but certainly looses compared to the very similar "Tombstone" released just a year prior.

Aside from Kevin Costner's association with both movies, one cannot help but make a real comparison to what each movie tells. For me, "Tombstone" is an enjoyable movie with remarkable acting and sets, while "Wyatt Earp" is an overly long epic that tries to say a lot and manages little in the end.

It is a great same that all this gathered star power is left unexploited, that we the movie goes on and on, probably unnecessarily and that in the end, it is unfavorably compared.

"Wyatt Earp" is more than a mediocre movie, all the elements are there, it just doesn't set off to capture its audience. The fact that "Tombstone" is so great (to my opinion) makes it seem too little.

And to answer the age long question of who portrayed the betted Doc Holiday, Val Kilmer of Dennis Quaid, I will side with Kilmer's portrayal as more enjoyable to watch, for me an Oscar worthy performance (as a second role). Still, Quaid is probably more realistic and down to earth as a dying man trying to make a living in the Wild West.

Nope (2022)

The answer is really "Nope"

[5/10 · 18 September 2022]

Having seen thousands of movies, spanning many different genres, I have to admin that this is the single most interesting case where the title of the movie, is simultaneously the best possible answer to the question "Should I watch it"? Categorically, nope!

What could have been an intriguing story, devolves in a one-hour build up that actually leads nowhere and explains nothing.

I honestly cannot think why they did that.

The movie does not suffer from poor acting as much as it suffers from a plot that may or may not aspire to higher implications regarding the central mystery of the film. A paradox? An allegory? Who knows? Certainly not the viewer who could just as well leave the theater frustrated for spending his/her/its time there.

5/10.

Ice Cold in Alex (1958)

A perfect movie, like they used to make

[10/10 · 15 July 2021]

This is a "perfect" movie for me. A war film where the story is not driven by shootings but by the will power of the four main actors, the deadly desert and an unlikely hero, "Katy" the ambulance. All this add together to make a war movie that is actually more anti-war than most other so self proclaimed ones.

The premise of the film in simple enough because, honestly, it doesn't matter much. You could have the same trope in any other setting and still have a great movie in your hands. On a side note, I have rarely seen such excellent photography and framing in any other movie. Though black and white, it is like you are watching a series of desert and people paintings.

I chose to watch the movie on a very hot summer night, drinking vodka on the rocks. Do not repeat my mistake, choose the much more film-appropriate gin!

The Raven (I) (2012)

Nevermore (pun intended)

[6/10 · 8 July 2021]

Let's agree that some movies need neither be "good" or "bad", just "mediocre", good enough to see once and pass your time and think of them... nevermore.

This is such a movie. Yes, you may see it once, though you are not actually lose if you don't, and then totally forget about it. See it never again, never mention it in a conversation, never make the mistake of recommending it to a friend.

John Cusack seems miscast in his role as the legendary writer Edgar Alan Poe and you might even say that his face expressions and mannerisms even make his portrayal hated. The rest of the cast supplements the protagonist just enough, the story is a cliché from begin to end, even the hole setup of the movie, intro and ending titles including, look like a parody.

Did I enjoy it? No, not even enough to watch it all in one sitting. Off to bed as soon as I got sleepy and views the last half an hour of the movie the other day. In the meantime, I had totally forgotten about it.

To sum things up, this movie just doesn't try enough nor even has the distinction of being a really bad movie. It is just... mediocre.

See it perhaps once and then nevermore.

The Man Who Never Was (1956)

A solid gem

[10/10 · 4 March 2021]

I will go ahead and call this movie a solid gem of a film. Choosing to watch "The Man Who Never Was", I said to myself that I shouldn't have many expectations from this movie. I mean, how interesting can they make the search and preparation of a body for a military intelligence ruse? The short answer is, yes they can and that they did! Attention to detail and a superb acting help to land a strong first half of the movie, setting masterfully the premise for what is to follow. And then comes the second part, where the film really delivers and excites. More than a spy film than a war movie, "The Man Who Never Was" not only will entertain you but will also help you learn about a very interesting intelligence operation that helped change the course of World War II. I highly recommend it.

Resident Evil: The Final Chapter (2016)

Almost unwatchable

[3/10 · 7 February 2019]

I am writing this review not because I want to tell you how bad this movie is, but because watching "Resident Evil: The Final Chapter" made me think that I owe it to myself and everyone I know to stop doing that. It is not that I didn't suppose even before watching it that it would be bad. I had no better expectations. After all, it is a video game movie, I had seen some or all, I can't remember, from the previous installments and it stars Milla Jovovich, who is as talentless as she is beautiful. To be honest with you, I wanted to watch a bad movie. I am working the night shift at an internet cafe and I had to watch something that wouldn't require a lot o concentration. Even the video game theme fitted with my job. My choice, however, was really bad. While there are movies "so bad they are good", this is not one of them, it is just plain bad. Unwatchable, perhaps. Jovovich's awful acting, the shaky camera, the plot that doesn't make sense, the constant pointless violence and pretentious excitement, will bore you to death. As if all that is not enough, I have more bad news: Mill Jovovich is on a double role. Good news though, the second role is limited to only a few appearances. I didn't like it and you probably won't either. You can find better bad movies, without searching a lot! And you might enjoy it even more!

Narcos: Mexico (2018–2021)

Less glamorous, more realistic, do see!

[7/10 · 27 November 2018]

Narcos: Mexico has the bad luck of, perhaps unnecessarily, being compared to the original series. Apart from the lovely introduction song and the high production standards, you have to forget what you new about the series. Everything is darker, simpler, grimmer in Mexico. The passion, the violence and tha glam of the first three seasons are missing. Even the story is much more straightforward and the characters less charming and complicated. The wonderful portrayal of Pablo Escobar from Wagner Moura is not there to compel you to savour every minute of his performance, nor are his colourful associates. But, please, don't get me wrong. Narcos: Mexico is a wonderful TV series on it's own, more close and realistic to the dark world of narcotics and drug lords. Perhaps more procedural than it's predecessor, more down to earth, more effective. And the performances, are all there. The heroic Kiki Kanamera by Michael Peña, the insecure geniusness of Miguel Ángel Félix Gallardo by Diego Luna and a cast that more than just supports them. Honorable mentions should also go to Tenoch Huerta and Joaquín Cosio. Even the story is all there, shared equally between the law enforcement view and that of the narcotraficantes. Narcos: Mexico is happily viewed and enjoyed, maybe a tad less than the original series it spun off, maybe because we got used to more colour and glam. After all, it is mostly marijuana against cocaine, calling for a different approach and disposition. I can but not wonder what is next from the series creators. Another season of Mexico, leading to the eventual capture of El Padrino, or even better another spin off, such as Narcos: L.A.? Because all that drug, has to go somewhere... Maybe it is time the series is brought home, to the USA, and create a shocking, grand finale, showing what drug really mean to the other end of the line.

La Mante (2017)

An uninteresting realization of an interesting idea

[5/10 · 8 November 2018]

Someone might argue that there are two broad categories of films and tv series: the good ones and the bad ones. The ones deemed good, are those that have a good plot, nice acting, are entertaining and perhaps have something to tell you. The bad ones, on contrary, miss those things, though occasionally they might fall in the category off "so bad it is good". Unfortunately, there is also a third category, of works like "La Mante", the indifferent ones. Though the premise of the tv series can be considered promising, the execution fails sort. As is the case with real life, the intentions might be good but we are all judged by the results. "La Mante" is an uninteresting tv series that can't stand up to its promises. The interesting central idea gets corrupted by an unnecessary plot, the actors can't get themselves seriously or go to extremes to make their performances meaningful, behaving like extras in their own show, the pacing is slow, not because it tries to build on something but because nothing makes sense from an early point on, and the finale is unbelievable, so that it looks as if the writers had given up until they decided to throw every trick of the book at the same time. It pains me to say that even the script as it is, could rise from mediocrity at the hands of a better production and directorial guidance, perhaps an american one. A better cast, a stricter pacing, a focus on what is important and better spreading of the plot, could make the series much more viewable. Unfortunately, this didn't happen. Therefore, having seen all 6 episodes of "La Mante", it is my personal opinion that nobody has to gain anything by watching it, except if it is going to be used as a case of a bad example.

Band of Robbers (2015)

A bad movie, as far as bad movies go

[3/10 · 23 October 2018]

Despite being ambitious and having good intentions, this movie is absolutely uninteresting. I would go as far as to say that it is a total waste of your time. You won't laugh, you wont get a moral message you haven't heard already, you are not going to entertain yourself. Upon deciding to watch this movie, I got hooked by it's description and another user review on IMDb. Now, I feel obligated to warn you: watch anything else, but "Band of Robbers".