ultrachronic Reviews

NCIS: Family Ties (2018) Season 15, Episode 13

What about the dead marine?

[3/10 · 28 November 2022]

So one thing that really annoyed me about this episode... Starts off as just a marine hit and run before weaving its way into a tale about "kidnapping" and adoption. Turns out the girl who stole the car and ran over the marine was taken by her "parents" who bypassed the adoption process because when she was a baby, her mother overdosed and her father was a felon deadbeat, and so she would've had to have been fostered. Until she was kidnapped of course.

Everything gets sorted, child is reunited with her "parents" and that's the end.

But in the end I have to ask... What of the dead marine?! Why didn't they handcuff the girl after sorting the whole adoption mess from 15 years ago? I mean, she did steal a car and kill a guy...

NCIS: Ready or Not (2017) Season 15, Episode 9

Why tell the security guard?

[4/10 · 26 November 2022]

The writing on this one is a trifle sloppy. What is McGee's reasoning for telling Morgan the security guard that Yorka is a bad man and to keep an eye on him? Only for Morgan to get too close.

It all kicked off in the waiting room simply because Morgan knew this information when he didn't need to, and McGee could've waited until the rest of the team were at the hospital.

Furthermore, why did Yorka go to the hospital with a gunshot wound?! They're reported to the authorities by the hospital any time someone with that wound comes in. This was stupid, and this episode deserves the low rating that it has.

Unleashed (2005)

One of Jet Li's best...

[10/10 · 27 May 2005]

I'm no good at commenting on films, but i liked this film so much that it deserves to be commented on.

The story centres around Danny (Jet Li) who's basically the muscle behind gangster Bart (Hoskins), helping him to get money by beating up people who don't pay up.

During his typical day, Danny befriends a blind piano tuner (Freeman)... and I shall say no more, as I don't want to spoil the story.

Jet Li is at his best, not only for martial arts ability, but with his acting. This film's more of a drama film than action and martial arts, but the blend worked well in my opinion.

That is all.

Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989)

A most excellent film... *air guitar* (spoilers Here)

[9/10 · 16 October 2004]

This film is about a couple of dudes (Bill And Ted, from the film's title) who, in order to preserve the future as it's known, must pass their oral history report with an A due to doing quite badly constantly throughout the year.

Now, getting complicated here, if they fail the report, they both flunk high school, Ted will get sent to military school, and so Bill And Ted's rather pants band Wyld Stallions will be no more, bogus...

Now, if their band is no more, then their music (which is really important in preserving peace and stuff) won't exist, and thus the future won't be as such an excellent place as it is. So, Rufus, some dude from the future, has been sent back 700 years (to 1988) to aid them in passing their history report, through the use of a time machine.

If you like 80's rock bands, this is a film for you, as plenty are mentioned (with a rather excellent jam from Joe Satriani at the end of the film), with Iron Maiden and Van Halen to name a few

I give it ****/*****

^_^

Top Gear (2002–2022)

Best Car programme ever!

[27 June 2004]

If you like cars, then this programme is just simply amazing. Unlike most programmes that are in this genre, the programme has survived a beyond 20 years at the top, and not many programmes come close. 5th Gear on five does come close, but it just doesn't have the heart or the dedication that Top Gear does.

While the people on 5th Gear only talk about cars, the Top Gear crew talk about everything that is to do with cars, and not just the cars themselves. For example, they have "Star in a Reasonably Priced Car" where a celebrity goes round their track to see how fast they are. And once, they decided to test the Toyota Pickup's claim of being the "the toughest car on the road" by basically ramming it into stuff, and putting it on a building that got demolished etc. and it still actually run. They also once tested if you can run your diesel car off of Vegetable Oil (you can, although your exhaust smells like a bag of chips).

Overall, this programme's great and a show you must fit into your weekly schedule, gets 10/10