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DonFreidle
Reviews
Marathon Man (1976)
Thriller for the ages
This film is the epitome of what a thriller should be. Superb acting, great writing, and an entertaining and creative plot make this a movie that is thoroughly enjoyable.
The movie centers around Babe, played by a young Dustin Hoffman. In a career overflowing with memorable performances, Marathon Man is one of his most impressive, even after almost 30 years. As Babe, Dustin plays an elite student in New York City who becomes embroiled in a twisted game of espionage and intrigue, revolving around a cache of diamonds, and an ex Nazi, played chillingly by the ever talented Laurence Olivier.
Laurence Olivier plays Dr. Christian Szell. Dr. Szell is an ex Nazi who uses dental equipment to extract information and fear. He shows that you don't need guns and big muscles to play a villain worthy of a film of this stature. His interaction with Dustin Hoffman is an acting clinic in and of itself.
Adding support to Hoffman and Oliver are Roy Scheider, of Jaws fame, and William Devane, both of whom are excellent and contribute towards a cast that is one of the best you'll ever see.
The newcomer Marthe Keller does an admirable job, especially given her limited mastery of the English language. As Else Opel, she plays Babe's foreign love interest.
Overall, Marathon Man was as entertaining as you can expect a thriller to be. While the plot may not be the most original ever written, it has enough twists and turns, as well as great writing, to keep you on the edge of your seat. I would highly suggest this film to anyone looking for a suspense movie that's actually suspenseful and has great acting to boot.
Radio (2003)
Dial R for Radio
As far as sports movies go, Radio is right there between Rudy and Necessary Roughness. Radio should have gone straight to TNT (the cable channel, not the stuff used to blow up things, although that's not an entirely bad idea).
Ed Harris reprises his role of the tough minded family man that will eventually come to realize what's truly important in life, with the help of some sort of good hearted person, or a traumatic event, or in this case both, played by Radio.
Alfre Woodard does a credible job in her typical role as the voice of reason.
This movie also has a cop named Irv. Need I say more. Ok, I will. Irv.
There's the punk kid who gives Radio a hard time. Will he come around to learn the error of his ways? Does Radio end up touching his cold little heart? Will this film make salty tears stream down your cheek with the inspirational soul music playing in the background at all times?
To find out the answer to these and more questions, turn on the "Radio".
Lastly, and more than probably leastly, we have Cuba Gooding Jr.
Cuba's portrayal of the mentally challenged Radio was eerily reminiscent of Cuba Gooding Jr. in Jerry Maguire, or Cuba Gooding Jr. in Snow Dogs, or Cuba Gooding Jr. in Rat Race, or Cub...well, you get the point.
If you have a yearning to see Cuba Gooding Jr. jumping and dancing around like Chris Kattan on a sugar high, while enjoying a somewhat watchable, yet most definitely formulaic sports movie, then by all means tune in...
Radio.
Apocalypse Now (1979)
Apocalypse Wow
This movie was pretty good, although a tad bit unrealistic.
I liked the scenes where people were talking and joking around, but they should have had more action sequences, a la Rambo, or The Terminator.
The guy who made this movie probably should have spoken to a couple of people who were actually there (the war), because he was about as close to accurate as Superman II was to Lunar Exploration, when the 3 evil castaways from Krypton go to the moon and kill the astronauts.
I think some special effects would have given this film a little extra juice. Maybe some laser guns. Colored smoke bombs and Ninja would have been super. How about having the troops be led by Mr Miyagi? He could have given them invaluable wisdom. Plus we all would have learned something. I know that I walked away from the Karate Kid a better person.
If you're looking for a good sci-fi type movie, then by all means rent Apocalypse Now. But if you want a healthy dose of reality in your movie, you may be better off seeing Kramer vs Kramer, or any movie with Cuba Gooding Jr, as he does nothing but keep it real.
Ali (2001)
Ali Shmali
I can't say that I really enjoyed this movie. Tolerated would be a better word. It was sort of like getting a haircut, although a bit more unnecessary. Just kind of, whatever.
First of all, why did they even make a movie about Ali to start with? He's at best a mediocre talent. He's certainly no Jack Dempsey, or even Louis Gossett Jr from Diggstown. He was ok. He won a few fights, but did he ever capture a nation's attention like Mary Lou Retton did in the Olympics? I think not. Nobody will ever forget her. That's for sure. She had heart and a fantastic outgoing personality. Those kind of traits can take you far. She was just a talented spunky girl with boatloads of Moxie.
I'm also not sure why they cast the Fresh Prince of Bell Air to be Ali. I mean, it's not like Ali was a poor kid from Philly who went to live with his rich Uncle in California, was he? Did he have a cousin named Carlton who danced funny? Did he have a best friend who would get hilariously thrown out of the mansion when he made fun of the calorically challenged Uncle? No, no, and a resounding no.
Golly, Ali, I would've rather seen Along Came Polly.
The Real World Reunion (1996)
Who's Real World?
A Real World Reunion. Well, whoopdeeedoooooo!!!!
Goody, I get to see people reunited that I had no interest seeing in the first place. This is almost as good as seeing a reunion of "The State", or Julia Luise Dryfuss' show, which lasted for 1, possibly 2, commercial breaks.
I'm all for TV Shows. But, when people have to resort to watching nobodies live in a house for free and do nothing except go blabedy, blah, blah, blah, then I think it's time for a hobby.
Maybe collecting stamps.
Perhaps learning to play an instrument.
Real World? Suuuuuure.... I guess there's no fat people in the real world. Ugly people? They don't exist in this "real" world. Smart people? Only if they're pretty, and they just happen to have some semblance of a brain.
I pray that the "Real World", goes away "Real Quick"
Bananas (1971)
Banana Split
Bananas is a fitting title to this film, as the only people who could possibly find it funny are Monkeys, and they're not even people.
First of all, what does Woody Allin have against the Vietnam War? If there was ever a more clear cut reason to go to war than there was in Vietnam, please let me know, because I've yet to hear of one.
Woody Allin is about as out of place in the army as a piece of bread in an Atkins convention.
I thought that Howard Cossell was ok, but that may just be me yearning for some real entertainment, like a football game.
This movie would have been better served with peanut butter in a sandwich and fed to Elvis.
You Got Served (2004)
You Got Swerved
The catchphrase to this move is:
If you want respect, you've got to take it?
Indeed, and let me add:
If you want a good movie, you've got to make it.
I did indeed get served. I big plate of PoopKababs.
I'm a big fan of the dancing. I spent many a night during my youth, glued in front of the tele, watching Solid Gold. Now that show had some dynamite dancing. And the costumes. Lordy! Lordy! Lordy! The dancing on this movie makes me think the choreographer was a 15 year old pimply faced chump named Herbert. Julia Styles is a better dancer than these kids. So is Urkel.
Would it have killed them to have some tap dancing? Maybe some Savion Glover? Now that dude can dance.
A plot line wouldn't have hurt either. Footloose is like Casablanca compared to this "film".
The only dancing I did, was on my way out of the theater, and into a better movie. ie. any movie.
Mulholland Dr. (2001)
The Box
This movie should have been called "The Box", because that's what it's all about. Really, a movie about a box? Couldn't come up with something a bit more original, Mr Linch?
The acting in this movie was ok. Nothing special. Pretty much what you'd come to expect in this type of movie. The acting in this movie is on a par with "Anaconda", "Romancing the Stone", and "Barber Shop", which was much funnier, by the way. This movie could have used some comic relief, a la Cedric the Entertainer, or maybe a funny dog, like the one in "Turner and Hooch".
Another thing that bothered me is how this "movie", so blatantly ripped of Bound. 2 Women. Ooooooh. If I want to see that type of naughtiness, I can just head on down to my local video store's back room. It's not like the ladies in this movie were really even that good looking. Couldn't they have gotten Pam Anderson, or even one of her co-stars from V.I.P.?
I also didn't really understand this movie. I know it was about the box, but I didn't really "get it". It gave me a headache. Why was this movie called "Mulholland Drive"? Is that the street that he was drunkenly walking down when he tripped over this script that some wino wrote for kicks?
I hope it's the street Mr Linch will drive away on. For good.
A Different World (1987)
so, so, sinBAD
This was one of the worst shows ever.
A Different World was lost from the start without the Cos and his mighty sweater to save the day.
Lisa Bonet is as worthless an actor as Lucas would be playing professional football. You never hear anyone ever complimenting anything other than her hair.
Ooooh, girl, she's got nice hair! Uh,huh!
Kadeem Hardison? The only good thing he's ever done is that Blackula Movie. Did he die in that movie? I sure hope so.
I don't remember Marisa Tomei being in this show. I must have missed that episode.
The only good thing about Sinbad is that he's not currently on TV. For god sakes, he's got BAD in his NAME! He's more spoiled than day old Sushi.
"You ever notice how funny it is how people never know what they're gonna order at McDonalds?"
No, SinBAD, I never noticed that. Why don't you elaborate.
And Jasmine Guy. Jasmine, Jasmine, Jasmine. That girl is like Fran Drescher without the talent.
A Different World.
Now it's a Different Channel.
Big Trouble in Little China (1986)
Best Movie Ever
This is the Best Movie Ever, besides Anaconda II:Electric Boogaloo.
Kurt Russell is fantastic. So is that lady from Manequin.
Talk about action.
Bang!!
Boom!!
Kapow!!
Zaperooni!!
Need I say more?
These Chinese people can really fight! And they're kind of scary too. I wouldn't want to be in Big Trouble in Little Chinatown! NoSirEeeee! Maybe Little Trouble, but definitely not Big Trouble. That is, unless I had these true heroes by my side. Then I wouldn't be afraid at all. Except of the main bad guy. He's really bad! Spooky Bad!
Boom Zap!
Rent this movie!
PaDow!
Planet of the Apes (1968)
Fake Monkey Clunker
This movie was horrific. I'd rather have my head stuck up a Baboon's Booty than see this clunker again
First of all, you can see the outline of where the mask meets the body outfit. It looks so fake. Hello person inside the Monkey outfit...Is anyone in there? Helloooooo. One of the Monkey/Person had a dead eye. It looked so funny. One time Charston Heston moved quick and the Monkey/Person's eyes couldn't follow him. Yeah, that act would fly over real quick in the Jungle, or should I say, Monkeyland.
And the special effects were like watching an episode of South Park, but with worse writing. Who wrote this thing, Monkeys? Probably not, or it would have been more realistic.
If you're looking for a good DVD to spend you hard earned money on, I'd suggest getting Season 1 and 2 of Everyone Loves Raymond, or picking up a copy of Earth Girls are Easy, with the real Julie Brown, not that Wubba, Wubba, Wubba, faker.
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)
Give Me Back My Money!!!
This movie was bad on so many levels. Well, at least 3 levels, but that's 2 more than Disorderlies, which was bad only because of the Fat Boys. Although they do comprise many levels, especially if you count their chins, of which they have more than a Chinese Phone Book.
Firstly, what a snoozer this movie was. I can't even really give a complete review, because I kept falling asleep. Couldn't they have added a few action sequences. Maybe some dramatic tension to keep people's eyes open. I felt like I was listening to the soothing sounds of gentle raindrops, while watching Elves frolicking in the woods.
Now, has there ever been a movie been more insulting to little people since Danny DeVito was doing movies? Hobbits, Dwarfs, and Orcs, oh My! Why didn't they just have them follow the Yellow Brick Road? Possibly find the Cowardly Lion some Courage. Or help the Tin Man get a Heart. At least The Wizard of Oz had singing. I will admit, the singing was very mediocre, but at least they tried.
This movie needed some real stars. Maybe a Vin Diesel, or perhaps they could have had Michael Clarke Duncan play an Orc. Hulk Hogan would have given this snoozer a well needed shot in the arm.
Return of the King?
How about Return of my Money.
South Park (1997)
Someone Forgot to Go to Art School
This show is awful. The artwork is without a doubt the worst I have ever seen in a cartoon. Beevis and Butthead were drawn better, and were funnier to boot.
I don't get much of the humour. Like when Chef sings. What's the point?
I don't like the fact that Cartman is fat. Why make fun of defensless, hungry, fat people? They have feelings too. Just because they're too busy eating pie and cake to express themselves, doesn't mean that everyone can just draw little fat kids. And draw them badly! Aaaargh!
I think that Family Circus is funnier that this bunch of huey. And Dilbert. And both are drawn better. Who draws this thing, a Donkey? Is the creator of South Park Shrek the Donkey? I bet it would be better if it was.
If you have a free half-hour, I would say a better use of your time would be counting to 1,800. Or playing UNO.
I wish that South Park was a hole 6 feet deep in the Earth that I could use to bury this show.
Monkey Shines (1988)
MONKEYS!!
I LOVED EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS MOVIE.
The title says it all.
Monkeys DO shine!
I thought the best part was when they showed them getting ready. You always see the monkeys in their cute clown outfits, juggling flaming candlepins while riding a unicycle. But you never get to see the painstaking preparation that goes into such a performance.
The heartbreaking look of despair when Twinkie the Monkey finds that one of her clown shoes is missing. Whodonit? Did some rogue monkey steal it? We may never know.
The stress on Moonpie Monkey's face as he comes to the stark and sudden realization that the juggling skills he's only recently come to possess, must now be put to use in front of a crowd of people, some of whom may or may not throw tomatoes. How Rude!
I felt so much joy in my heart when Tootsie, the boy monkey that dresses like a girl monkey, rides the little bicycle through a flaming hoop. He/She did it! GO TOOTSIE!!!
And go see Monkey Shines!
The Goonies (1985)
Goons Ruin Goonies
The Goonies is a perfect example of everything that is wrong with society. The title is perfect, as these kids are indeed Goons in every sense of the word.
How can parents take their kids to see such a violent, harsh movie. When the Goonies go "wilding", and rob, beat, and terrorize the innocent townsfolk, well, call me horrified. I say that, because, I was, uh, horrified.
The only thing about this movie that I liked was the previews, when the Soda Pop danced with the Popcorn. That was delightful! Indeed!
Much like Faces of Death, and The Wayne Brady Show, Goonies is a bad influence for today's youth and should be banned worldwide.
2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)
This Movie is OK, sort of
I both liked and disliked this movie at the same time. Kinda like my parents.
I liked Elliot and the little girl that was also in Firestarter, which, by the way, was a hot movie. I thought the scene when they dressed the alien like a ghost and went trick or treating, then ended up flying on the bicycle was absolutely adorable. I think that Mr Kubrick was really on top of his game when he wrote that scene. I put the box of Kleenex that I usually keep next to my bed to good use during that scene.
Now for the bad.
Reese's Pieces? Really. Who eats those things? Do they even make them anymore? Would it have killed them to use some M&Ms? Way to go Stanley. Cute little aliens visit our planet and all you can think of to give them is Reese's Pieces? Why not just give them a Charlston Chew. Or perhaps a Reggie Bar.
Anyway. This movie was ok, if you ask me. I'd compare it to Earth Girls are Easy, or perhaps White Men Can't Jump.
I'd suggest seeing this movie if you can rent it for $1.99 or less.
Holiday in Havana (1949)
Rhumba Fantastico!
Dance, Ricky, Dance!
Finally, Desi can shine without being weighed down by the supremely untalented Lucille Ball. She could make a Pumpkin Pie taste like a Rice Cake. Her acting skills are on a par with Lili Tomlin and Jane Curtain. Anchors all, bringing down their co-stars with the weight of a large Carnie size boat.
Go see this movie.
See Desi dance!
He Rhumbas the night away.
This latin lover puts the spice back in spicy.
Holiday in Havana is like a fabulous festival for my VCR. It likes this movie so much that I can't seem to eject the tape. Apparently Panasonic gives this movie 2 gigantic thumbs up.
In the Line of Duty: The Price of Vengeance (1994)
Shoot Em Up Classic
I loved, loved, loved, loved this movie.
I think that the way Michael Gross played his role was utterly magnificent.
I do believe that Michael Gross is quite possibly the premier thespian in film today. Mr Gross, Alan Thicke, and Fred Williamson are my version of the terrific threesome. This duo plus one would kick the butt of any other three actors out there. Unless the other group had Bruce Lee. But that wouldn't be fair, because he knows Kung Fu. Although I don't see this being a problem what with Bruce Lee being dead and all. If these three were ever in a movie together. Gee Wiz! That would be the best movie ever in the history of movies. I'd watch it 10 Million times. 10 Billion times maybe.
Anyway, this movie has it all. Guns, Guns, and more Guns, and Michael Gross.
And Michael Gross with Guns!!!
Also gangs. I love gangs. I'll tell you what... After this movie, there won't be a gang this side of the Mississippi that will mess with Mr Keaton. And not Alex P mind you. I'm talkin bout his dad.
In the Line of Duty.
It's your Duty to stand in Line to see this Movie.