moviefan-85 Reviews

Hercules in New York (1970)

Arnolds classic debut!

[10/10 · 12 March 2004]

I just bought this movie on DVD. I really liked it! It was funny. Im Arie fan so it was to me treasure. I kinda liked more than Arnies other films. It was great movie. Arnolds debut on the screen. Luckily I got both audiotracks on DVd, Theatrical where Arnies voice is dubbed and original not dubbed track. GREAT! I cant imagine why they dubbed Arnolds voice. I understood everything that he said in the movie. So funny movie! This is Arnolds mark in his career, I dontt mean Conan and Terminator, I mean this was ARNIES FIRST MOVIE EVER!If you are Arnie you just must see it! And if you are not, see it anyway, because its so good comedy. How somebody cant like it? Great movie! overall: ****/*****. SEE IT NOW!!!!!

Desert Heat (1999)

Okay JCVD flick. Has its moments.

[9 March 2004]

I saw this movie on Tv. It started good with showing a coyote running in the desert. But after that it became machoactioncomedy. As Van Damme fan I could watch it. I even enjoyed somehow. The story is simple: Bad guys steal his bike that belong to his friend and shoot him. He survives and he wants revenge and take his bike back. The movie tries to be this spiritual movie and it even succeeds in it but the comedy kinda spoils it. I liked the set where the movie was shot. The old people were funny. Ohh that sex scene was hilarious. There is man who goes straight to action! And of cource everybody love Van Dammes martial art kicks and we see them. They save best for end of the film. Checkout Pat Morita from Karate Kid series. Danny Trejo played JCVD´s mysterious friend. Like every review I tell you: If you are Van Damme fan you might like it. The movie went straight to video but I think it would do okay in the Box Office. Overall **/*****

The Terminator (1984)

Ultimate classic of 80,s!

[10/10 · 8 March 2004]

Terminator is my favourite movie so i LOVE IT! Movie was made so long time ago and still it feels fresh. I cant describe how good movie is this. I remember when I was 7 or 8 I watched this movie with such excitement. I always liked the first more than Terminator 2 Judgement day ( That is too one hell of a movie). I dont know single human who hasnt seen this movie because this is action sci-fi classic. Like Special effects wizaed Stan Winston who has workin on all T movies said: " Terminator was landmark in movie history". Totally awesome movie. I wont starting telling you a plot because everyone knows it. At that time it was just called B movie. Studios didnt think that Terminator would be such a commercial and critical hit. It launched James Camerons and Arnold Schwarzeneggers to sky. Cameron become Hollywoods respect director and Arnie became actionstar. Michael Biehn and Linda Hamilton did amazing perfomances. The movies budget was only 8 million dollars but still movie rocks!! Of cource special effects are bit old but it doesnt take the pleasure of seeing this movie. Cameron is such srong and good director that this could be made on limited budget. Buy special edition Dvd and I promise you will enjoy the extramaterial. James Cameron also wrote Arnies legendary line "I´ll be back". That became Arnolds trademark in his films. Checkout Bill Paxton in the beginning of the film as one of the punks. In Kyles dream when Terminators attack humans shelterbase check Stuntman and Arnolds Frien Franco Columbu as Terminator. Ultimate classic! See it if you havent seen in it already. Terminator fans write me! "I´LL BE BACK"

Derailed (2002)

Van Dammes worst and I mean it!

[3/10 · 7 March 2004]

Seems like after Sudden Death Van Dammes star started to fade. So what happened? He suddenly started making movies that werent better than his old movies. I mean he Bloodsport,Lionheart, Double Impact, Universal Soldier and Hard Target. But he totally surpised me in Replicant where he made quite good acting perfomance. But this movie is Van Dammes worst and I am fan of Van Damme. Story is used hubdred of times: terrorists take over the train and they all have biopoison that kill many people. You know typical saving the world theme. Movie was shot in Algeria because it would be cheap. The most laughable is that the train that appers in every scene is miniatyre. And belive in this movie it really shows. It looks so fake! Special effects also are lame. I would understand if movie has limited budget but the rest of the movie isnt much either. The fights look like in american tv shows where actors pretend to fight by using fast camerawork. Come on JCVD is in this and they cant get even good martial arts battles. Van Damme look´s tired and doesnt even do his famous kick maybe he is just old for that stuff. Unleast we have one positive thing about the movie is that Van Dammes son Kristoffer is in this so we see father and son in same movie, cool! The director Bob Misiorowski is bad director. What was he thinking! Unleast he could develop better story or something like that but no. I bought on Dvd just for my Van Damme collection. In DVd they are proud of this movie its just makes me laugh! For JCVD sake i hope he gets back on track! He must!Overall: If you are Van Damme fan you could watch it somehow but if you´re not stay away. */*****

Cliffhanger (1993)

Very interesting and good!

[9/10 · 6 March 2004]

This movie is directed by Renny Harlin the finnish miracle. Stallone is Gabe Walker. Cat and Mouse on the mountains with ruthless terrorists. Renny Harlin knows how to direct actionmovie. Stallone needed this role to get back on track. Snowy mountain is very good place for action movie and who is better to direct movie where is snow, ice, cold and bad weather than finnish man. Action is good! Music in the film is spectacular. The bad guy is John Litghow, other stars Micheal Rooker ( The portrait of serialkiller), Janine Turner ( Strong Medicine). The is placed in beautiful place and it is very exciting movie. Overall good movie ****/*****

Remember Extreme ääliöt: special collectors edition, with good extras. Comig soon in Finland straight to video.

Conan the Barbarian (1982)

Much better than Lotr. Arnies classic.

[8/10 · 6 March 2004]

This was Arnolds breakthrough. Not exactly breakthrough, Terminator was probably the last step to stardom. Conan the barbarian is old movie but it feels so fresh. Basil Poleadouris made legendary music to the film and Arnie really amazed the big screen.STORY IS: Conan who sees his parents and his village get killed when was child. Whennhe grows up he seeks revenge. So he begins searching the Thulsa doom. Im not gonna spoil anything just watch the movie! This is such a great movie, it is Sword and Sorcerer genre classic. I think its better than Lotr. Schwarzenegger should made Conan 3. Imaging what box office it would be. Governor returns as Warrior. The sequel was also greta Cona the Destroyer. oOverall I give this movie ****/*****.

Hard Target (1993)

Truly Van Damme classic!

[9/10 · 5 March 2004]

Sadly Woo only worked once with Van Damme. What a terrific work they would´ve done. Lance Henriksen as a bad guy is awesome. The plot is about rich folks who pay to hunt poor people that are in for a money. Bad Guys promise poor people cash and they of cource do it. Hunt is till death. So one of victims daughter arrives to small town to find her father. Then Van Damme starts helping her and you know the rest.This was Van Dammes golden time, he made at that time UNIVERSAL SOLDIER, DOUBLE IMPACT, LIONHEART, BLOODSPORT.This is probanly Woos best Hollywood work next to Face off. He just simply puts Van Damme fight skills on screen. Beautiful camera work in fight scenes and the movie is quite balletical. When JCVD beats the bad guys it is just beautiful. We also have Arnold Vosloo from Mummy. Checkout Sam Raimis brother Ted Raimi in one scene. See this movie now! 9/10

Cobra (1986)

Underrated Stallone flick!

[8/10 · 2 March 2004]

I dont understand why everybody are trashin this movie. This is pretty good movie. Atleast the movie is entertaining. The story is: Some crazy killing gang kills young pretty female. One woman becomes witness and so Sly must be the hero and save her. Its pretty funny because in the movie there is a line: "I dont want to be a hero I just want to be involved" We all know that star of this movie is Stallone. The leader of the gang is Brian Thompson who you might know from X files series and Van Dammes Lionheart.The director George P Cosmatos (Rambo 2). Brigitte Nielsen who plays the victim that that Cobra must protect is awful. The movie was nominated several Razzie awards when it came out. Few people actually like it. Im not very big sly fan but still i enjoy this movie wherever I see it. Trust me it is entertaining! Any Cobra fans, just write me!

No Retreat, No Surrender (1985)

One of the first Van Dammes screen appearance! Karate classic!!

[5/10 · 2 March 2004]

WARNING THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SOME SPOILERS ABOUT THE MOVIE!When I saw this movie in store I just had to buy it. So whole DVd cover was dedicated to Van Damme. We have even Van Dammes name on the cover but where is the hero? We have tiny picture of a hero who is the maincharecter of the film. And covers synopsis sounds like Bloodsport type movie. So I bought it and saw it. I wasnt disappointed when I saw the movie it wasnt the movie they promised on the cover but still ok flick. Van Damme shows about 10 minutes in the whole movie. It was one of his first films so you might take this as somekind tiny classic. I forgot the story, sorry. Young Jason moves to another county when his father solds the karate gym after he gets beat up by creedy managers who organize fights with Ivan The Russian ( Van Damme). In the new county Jason falls in love with the girl and her wannabe boyfriend starts compete with Jason. Karate Kid remake huh! This movie was made year after Karate Kid that was somekind a success in the business. I cant say which movie is better.The music is great. Whole movie is totally 80´s. Everything,they even have breakdance that was popular then. I give this movie 6/10. Must see to Van Damme fans. Write me and I tell you great No retreat No surrender movie web site. Im waiting!

Commando (1985)

One of the Best Schwarzenegger films ever!

[9/10 · 27 February 2004]

I remember when i was 7 years old and I saw this masterpiece. This was one of the first arnie movies I saw at that time. I still love this movie 9 years later. The movie was made when Arnies career was growing bigger and bigger. Previously he made his all time best movie Terminator which was a critical and commercial hit. There is no very good plot, but the movie rocks.Its funny and its entertaining. It has Arnies legendary one liner " I´ll be back" and a lot of other good lines. (WARNING STORY SPOILERS:) The story is: Arnold is ex commando soldier who is living with his daughter. Bad Guys kidnap his daughter and send him to kill President of Val Verde, but Arnold has his own plans. So he starts to kill everybody in order to find out where is his dauhgter. I will not spoil anything but the movies showdown is amazing. The movie is unrealistic but still good. The movie had some sensorship problems In Sweden and they cut 15 minutes of it which is a lot because isnt so raw. Of cource it has couple of brutal moments, ( Arnie cuts a soldiers hand)but they are part of Arnie humour. The movie has a lot of humour and its just a plus. I can watch this movie hundred times and still I would not be bored. Steven E De Souza did the script ( Die Hard1-2, 48 HRS.) so this cant be bad. After release De souza wrote the sequel but Arnold wasnt interested and Joel Silver had other projects, so he just changed to Die Hard. Sometimes I think that what kind a sequel it would be. Next to Terminator1-2 and Predator this is his best. I love this movie and so should you!Buy it or watch it

They Call Me Macho Woman! (1989)

The weirdest and crappiest movie I´ve seen in my life

[10/10 · 25 February 2004]

I saw this movie by accident from old vhs tape. I think everybody should watch this movie and they would get new perspective "what is a bad movie" The story makes no sense. There is no charecter development. We dont even know who the hell is our leading female hero. We dont know a sh*t about the. (WARNING: SOME MINOR SPOILERS) We just know that the bad guys are cocaine dealers and believe they have a lot of cocaine. ´Gangs leader is huge skinhead look alike guy who executes people with SM type unicorn device on head, very strange!!! So they want to kill her for trespassing in their turf. But all the crap comes when she starts killing them with the whip, axes, and using other sharp objects ( and booby traps) She is dressed up like amazon woman. She just turns from the victim to killer in a second, thats very strange. She kills chinese guy by throwing spikes in his eyes, so you pretty well know what kind a movie is this. I liked independent film feeling in this but it isnit much. This movie is hilarious and that is the strenght of the movie. Watch it and laugh at it!

Lionheart (1990)

One of Van Dammes best!

[9/10 · 22 February 2004]

This movie is very good. I watched this from a crappy vhs tape but still enjoyed it. I bought later DVD on a good price. Some people say that van damme cant act, well he can. There are much worse actors than him. (Warning: SPOILERS) This movie isnt like in the trailer they appear this movie. Lionheart is a pretty good drama- action. Lyon finds out that his brother is dead and he escapes from legionnaire and comes to america. There he starts fight for money to help his brothers family and take them away to nice life. It isnt a revenge story or just mortal combat flick like trailer appears the movie. Much better than the other martial arts flicks. See it now! 9/10