beauty_model Reviews

Wrong Turn (2021)

Simply Excellent

[10/10 · 13 April 2021]

I don't see how a smart person viewing this movie would be anything but terribly impressed and entertained.

Best horror movie I have seen in months and makes top 10 list for recent memory.

Reall top notch.

Lapsis (2020)

rich kid of hollywood parents should have been the 1st warning

[1/10 · 14 February 2021]

Bad movie, sorry I didnt know it was the spoiled product of hollywood parents

Resident Alien (2021– )

The OG Comic (graphic) novels are charming. Anthithesis of this version.

[1/10 · 11 February 2021]

In the graphic novels. the alien is a sweetheart. He is gentle and takes an immediate liking to humanity.







Difference between show and graphic novels: 1. Alien is on mission to observe and report, not blow up the world 2. Alien doesn't kill the man he replaces or harm him in any way. 3. He's not trying to kill a small child.

I'm starting to think there's something wrong with that show's creator. He also created Yellowstone. Which I enjoy a lot in spite of his clear impetus to make us feel and care about cold blooded killers. Same vibe here. What's hiding in Chris Sheridan's closet?

The Dig (2021)

This dog of a movie should be buried fathoms deep

[1/10 · 1 February 2021]

The history and actual discovery is fascinating. I had no idea I was going to be subjected to two hours of navel gazing atheism. Bleak and depressing and every other scene are miserable people moving and talking slowly. I suggest everyone skip this film and go look up the history of sutton hoo instead. A mawkish mess with zero thrills. No humor, no energy, and as dead as the Anglo Saxon king's remains.

Don't Tell a Soul (2020)

Mena Suvari ruins it

[1/10 · 22 January 2021]

Old lizard face is terrible in this wreck of a movie. Mena Suvari is a terrible actress. She ruins it.

Avenue 5 (2020–2022)

I see absolutely no point in watching this.

[1/10 · 21 January 2020]

I'm a big Sci Fan. And comedy fan. Love dark humor. Love British humor. Fan of Hugh Laurie since his Blackadder days.

I didn't know much about this going in but really hoped it would be an updated Red Dwarf with Josh Gad playing Cat.

If were being paid to write this review I might give more thought to explaining how awful and tedious I found this pilot episode.

Watchmen (2019– )

So great to be secure and able to enjoy everything

[10/10 · 30 October 2019]

As a person who is 1. Not a democrat sjw type 2. But is very proud of Anglo-Scandi Heritage one might think I'd be gnashing my teeth likes the trolls posting their faux reviews on here.

Nope. Enjoyed both episodes so far and give it a 10 as a nice spit in the eye to trolls.

This show isn't some genocidal screed to kill whitey. But low brow racist types are in a angry fervor over it.

The same types who complain that others want to outlaw freedom of speech. You can't have it both ways people. Either everyone gets to express themselves freely in America or no one does.

I already knew about the horrors of Tulsa in 1921 and honestly what was shown is much more tepid than the insanity that went down.

It wasn't solely about race, the destruction of Black Wall Street was also about class lines. Poor whites ignored their better angels and acted like greedy demons. And no one is saying Black Wall Street was perfect either, there was plenty of drugs, gangs and bad dealings going on in some parts.

Anyone who can't calmly watch this show with an open mind is a manchild. Grow pair and watch it before writing up faux reviews.

If nothing else Trent Reznor's score is tight.

A Simple Favor (2018)

Felt like one long liquor promotion

[1/10 · 27 December 2018]

Spoilers.... Pros: It ends.

Cons: One of my biggest pet peeves is nonsensical casting. A blake lively type mixed with a pretty Asian man does not equal a half asian half costa rican (meztizo) child. The kid got all his chubby little costa rican Mom's looks. Might be a cute actor, but was not right in this instance. Plus checking out things, turns out his dad is trying to push him and his twin sister and is a classic stage dad. Eww.

The movie started off promising, I didn't read the book because I'm a busy person.

I think black comedies are my favorite genre, but they're rare and hard to get right. When this movie ended, it made me pin for a movie as good as Gus Vant Sant's 1995 "To Die For."

Perhaps it was a white person casting and anyone mixed looks the same. I'm multi racial and it really annoys me when nuances are ignored. Onto the pink elephant in the room

" Blake Lively's character in the film, Emily, only drinks martinis made with Aviation American Gin, the company Reynolds became an owner of in February (18). Feig reveals he was trying to get permission to feature another liquor company, but went with the Deadpool 2's company after Blake suggested it to him. However, he was not aware Ryan owned the company."

I knew this going in and it felt live every other scene, that damn gin bottle was positioned in clear view.

Me thinks Blake is just a slick character as Emily.

I think Ryan should have stuck with his Ex. I can not dream of Scarlett begging Avengers' director to spotlight her husband product and not tell them what was going on.

Anna Kendrick was forgettable in the role. She used to be so cute but now her head looks shruken and weird.

All in all, a huge let down.

I suggest the wonderful A Simple Plan instead.

Don't Leave Home (2018)

For a low budget, a good end result.

[7/10 · 16 September 2018]

This movie will reward you if stick to the end. After being spoiled by Hereditary and the creeptastic dioramas that centered heavily, I was distracted by DLM's dioramas. Is this a thing now? I didn't know there was a big global market for sad little homemade arts and crafts like this. Ten year old me would've been shook and impressed by this movie. But grown up me kept tutting and eye-rolling through most of the movie. Thankfully the payoff was good. But that doesn't mean it will mean anything if you fast forward to it. This is a good movie to view on a rainy cool autumn evening while alone. Will make it spookier and create more of an impact. I would say my only real quibble is that 1. don't pretend you're (briefly) in America when you're already filming in Ireland. Easy to tell the difference 2. the lead actress was too flat and muted. Plus there was no real background, so it was hard to care about her fate. Otherwise, a decent offering.

Sharp Objects (2018)

9.1 out of 100, not 10.

[1/10 · 9 July 2018]

Pluses:

Very nice Victorian childhood home that Amy Adam's character sulks around. Cure for Insomnia.

Negatives: Sad Amy Adams being sad. Slow as molasses plotting.

The Ice Cream Truck (2017)

I screamed that I watched this dreck

[1/10 · 3 September 2017]

Always check IMDb and never rely on RT score alone. My bad. Didn't do my due diligence. 60% on RT. The current score on IMDb is much more appropriate. 4.4 I give it a 1. For a huge waste of time. Spoilers: 1. Acting doesn't consist of just furrowing your brow. 2. No background, no explanation for murderous Ice Cream truck man makes no sense. 3. Creeper moving man shows up at end of the movie. No point to him. 4. Kid that was apparently murdered and his gf show up the next day. 5. None of this can be explained by "unreliable protag" trope since the actions of the serial killer ice cream man happen when primary character isn't watching him.

Really stupid and I am totes going to blame Milennials for this. It's like cool generations skip a gen, X and Z are great; while Boomers and Gen Y are pretentious you know whats.

GLOW (2017–2019)

Grody Louses of Whining

[1/10 · 23 June 2017]

Based on glowing reviews, I assumed that GLOW would light up the screen and I could bask in a some brilliant entertainment. But no, the lead is a dim bulb. And a bad person to boot. Sorry if you sleep with your bestie's spouse, you're not redeemable. I enjoyed Alison Brie in Community and thought this would be a hoot to watch.

Perhaps I can not relate to the 80s vibe since I wasn't around then, but this show feels very forced. I see a lot of reviews praising how empowering it is. But sorry I don't see much empowering in a bunch of posers play fighting.

No thanks, one is better off watching actual 80s comedies. This is too contrived and I have no interest in rooting for a one note lead.

Right at Your Door (2006)

Very well done. But possible influenced by the news.

[8/10 · 4 June 2017]

I pay for so many rentals, that I decided to look up free stuff to watch on my DVR. I found this flick on Friday night and planned to watch it Saturday night since I knew I'd be staying in and chilling at home. Then the news hit about the London Bridge attack. This was an hour or so before dinner and the movie. So I honestly admit that the impact of the movie is incredibly heightened because it made me stressed out. I still think the movie was very well done and the twist had me stunned, but the day's awful news probably amped up my viewing experience. Definitely worth the viewing, just don't watch this if you're feeling depressed.

I Love Dick (2016–2017)

Terrible show

[1/10 · 17 May 2017]

Terrible show is terrible. Someone is making me watch this show. This show is as awful as I thought it would be. Boring, distracted, frantic, boring, boring, old people, boring, dull, sucks so much. Can not believe that anyone with a modicum of taste would enjoy this awful tripe. Drab terrible boring show. Wait, oh its still on the screen. And ONE is required to write enough here to take up a minimum amount of space. Why the screen stop moving. Oh right they're being artsy here. Stop the moment as it were. I must still must be young and a have a pulse because I feel like it something old people would enjoy. Old people who are smug and boring and enjoy terrible, boring pieces of garbage to watch.

Fort Tilden (2014)

The Abyss that is the American Millennial Female

[9/10 · 29 April 2017]

Rarely have I felt such outright rage at fictional characters. Reading over reviews I am stunned and could vomit by the weirdos who found these two characters endearing. They are not sweet or cute or good in any way. One could even deem them as fitting the banality of evil. Who the heck lets kittens drown ? Allie and Harper are basic betches in Brooklyn who don't have a shred of insight. Harper is the slightly worse of pair. The type of person who thinks they're an artist. But they're empty inside. So most people in Brooklyn. Allie is an SJW type , but Luke warm one at best. These two are so completely clueless and awful that it is quite entertaining for most of the movie. When they finally near their destination but are tired and cranky they find adorable, abandoned kittens. Instead of calling it a day and heading some with lovely kittehs, they place them in a deep trash can and continue their mission. Once failing comically to hang out with two guys they met a party, they get a ride home without saving the kittens. Harper shows the faintest hint of responsibility by calling 911 and reporting that there are kittens in a trash can somewhere The concerned 911 operator stops harper from hanging up and begs her help the kittens since it is about to rain and the kittens will drown. Harper blanks out and pretend her phone dies. So any semblance of caring was too weak to manifest. Allie also shows a glimmer of responsibility when she informs her neighbor that the bike she borrowed from him was stolen. Again, one feels that these women are just abortions of humans. There will be no growth. One wishes that the movies ends with the two characters struck by a large asteroid.

Fortitude: Episode #1.10 (2015) Season 1, Episode 10

The best Black Comedy on TV

[10/10 · 28 April 2017]

To anyone trying to slog their way through season 3 of Fargo, I pity them. In the same offbeat vein, Fortitude is far superior in every possible way. I ended up getting a rush watching the build up in this season. And there were a lot of shocks too. Kill of Hildur ? That took cojones. My SO and I thought Elena looked like Dave Franco, so our running joke has been to call her dave. Oh poor Dave is dead now. Even the show's opening music will stick with us for a long time. Duh-doom-duh-doom-duh-doom. I have want to make it my ringtone (Is that still a thing ? I mean no one calls anyone anymore) Anyhoo, The final episode flew by so fast. A really perfect way to wrap everything up. You could leave it the series this way and it would be fine. Just Dormer as Sheriff Dan with the most perfect fiendish smile plastered on his face. Great show, top notch. Do not listen to any weenies who tell you otherwise. Tell them to go drink some reindeer juice and lighten up.

Fortitude: Episode #2.9 (2017) Season 2, Episode 9

Fantastic writing, heart pumping episode

[10/10 · 28 April 2017]

Each episode has been amazing this season Just a totally enjoying thrill ride. I really would like a polar bear to eat anyone who whines about the show and doesn't see how fantastic it is Was so amazing binge watching this over a few nights The characters started showing up in my dreams at night! It made that much of an impression This is one of the shows that sticks with you. Sheehan as the Shaman is amazing and Dormer as Sheriff Dan is a revelation This show is better than anything I have watched on TV. The last show that got under my skin was the original French version of The Returned.

Tiny House Nation: 600 Sq. Ft. Tiny Victorian (2016) Season 3, Episode 9

600 square feet is not a tiny house

[1/10 · 5 November 2016]

Unlike all other "houses" on tiny house nation, this is an actual house. 600 square feet with a vaulted ceiling is not a tiny house. Would have made more sense to salavge an old house and move it to their build location instead of using all new materials. Ohh super rich male couple builds luxurious 600 sq foot home. Just had to vent but don't have more to say. but IMDb wants a minimum of 10 lines of text//// Feel like these guys did this to be on camera. Really silly. Good luck smelling every body odor of your partner and hearing every sound the body expulses. But they're newlyweds and still have stars in their eyes, I guess, so I expect them to be a little cottonheaded but grown ass adult with children?

tiny house family I actually feel sorry for these kids I have three children, grown now, and I live in a relatively small house of four bedrooms, two floors, and a full walk-in basement. Please don't ask me about square feet because I forgot about that after about the tenth mortgage payment but it's far from a mansion. Each child was able to have their own space and most importantly I had my own space where I could shut the door and unwind a little. Now if there was nothing left on the planet to house myself and my three children but a Tiny House I would be packing my bags with a grin on my face and a thank you God prayer. I would be grateful to have it. But seeing how a Tiny House is not the only sheltered place on the planet I don't understand how two grown ass adult would move their children into one of these things. Maybe, I don't like my children as much as they do to be that damn close but it seems like the most ludicrous thing a parent can do to their children

Better Things (2016–2022)

Really nice canyon house

[3/10 · 6 October 2016]

I think I watched the show a few times just because I liked the house. Pamela Adlon was great 20 years ago in Bed of Roses. I enjoyed her on Louis. But here I feel like this is transplanted Louis. I feel like Louis was to lazy to bring back him own show and using Pamela as fill in. I also hating the stupid casting. Louis seems to enjoy having nonsensical looking families. Sure Pamela gave birth to one daughter who is half black and another who is half Asian ? With a white dad ? If Louis is trying to make a point , its lost here. Just too smug and too hard to relate to. No sympathy for divorced rich actress and her horrid brats.

It won't be renewed.

The Forest (I) (2016)

Terribly enjoyable.

[10/10 · 17 September 2016]

I have seen so many Asian horror flicks and this is right up there with classic scare films. Just a good time. Very well done. This was a great distraction from terrible news tonight. So that speaks highly of a movie that could distract me from bad real world events in NYC. Dormer was really good and Kinney is so damn hot. It was during this movie I realized he has a mixed Asian look, funny because he is just white. Anyway I spent half the movie wanting to have sex with him and other half so scared... Do not pay attention to the haters. Such miserable people. People who can't laugh at themselves and have trees up their butts. Definitely the kind who should ever avoid entering the Forest themselves. heh-heh

Emelie (2015)

Have the writers and/or directors EVER been around normal kids ?

[1/10 · 5 May 2016]

Spoiler alert

Movie feels like a bad lifetime movie directed by an obnoxious artsy type of guy. I can just tell whomever did this thinks that they're an artiste. No, no you're not. It appears more time was spent trying to add in the music score than actually have a decent script that made some sort of sense.

This movie was absurd because the children are portrayed as docile and easily led. Most children can be incredibly feral and ferocious if you attempt to harm them and/or their siblings.

But in this insipid flick an 11 year old boy is too scared to protect his 9 year old sister and 4 year old brother from 110lb little female until the fake babysitter murders their real babysitter. So, so dumb.