I saw this as a Rifftrax, and their mockery aside, this is a pretty weak version of Aladdin. As others have said, the concept of a Chinese Aladdin true to the original story is something you don't see often and is for that reason remarkable. On the other hand, the sets are cheap and crummy looking and the songs are mostly bad. I think the only one I really liked was the one sung by the wizard when they were going to get the lamp. Barry Bostwick is definitely having fun here, mugging it up the whole time. The special effects are also something else, they really do look like the kind of stuff Tim and Eric use. I checked IMDB for a cast list and was surprised at the notable careers of some these actors, the wizard won a Tony for Man of La Mancha and the Princess voiced Rose Quartz in Steven Universe.
Reviews
12 Reviews
This movie might be good enough to fold laundry to
6 December 2021
I thought this was a great episode, a rather sharp parody of those hundreds of inane Christmas movies. You have to have seen a lot of them to appreciate it though, my mom watches them constantly during the month of December. I didn't mind the story not revolving exclusively around the family as others have said, they're in it enough.
It's Arbor Day, Charlie Brown
(1976 TV Short)
Underappreciated Peanuts special
13 April 2020
Right off the bat, (har, this episode is heavily baseball themed) I'd like to say the Charlie Brown actor in this one is particularly good. This one probably gets ignored because it sounds like boring late 80s educational Peanuts but is really funny. It deals with the sequence from the comics where Lucy planted a block garden on the baseball field unbeknownst to Charlie Brown. So the Arbor Day theme kind of fits, but is distracting. Interestingly, the kids name the field after Charlie Brown in this episode, something I don't think I've heard of before or since.
Superior Duck
(1996)
Retread, worth seeing only for completists.
2 August 2015
I must be the only one who didn't like this. I saw this as part of Boomerang's Looney Tunes block and was excited at the prospect of a Chuck Jones I hadn't seen before. This very late cartoon from him though is full of painfully stale bits lifted from earlier cartoons.
The plot is purportedly about Daffy as a superhero, but it quickly derails into "Duck Amuck" territory. It feels like a sloppy effort here, with pretty much every other Looney Toon other than Bugs making a gratuitous cameo.
A never-before-seen Looney Tunes short is always something of a treat, but I was disappointed in this one. I still rate it a 4 out of 10 for even existing.
The plot is purportedly about Daffy as a superhero, but it quickly derails into "Duck Amuck" territory. It feels like a sloppy effort here, with pretty much every other Looney Toon other than Bugs making a gratuitous cameo.
A never-before-seen Looney Tunes short is always something of a treat, but I was disappointed in this one. I still rate it a 4 out of 10 for even existing.
Christmas in Tattertown
(1988 TV Movie)
Gonzo animation, tobacco pie and Christmas!
13 June 2013
I recorded this show when it first ran on Nickelodeon and watched it countless times over Christmas and school vacation over the years. No matter how many times I saw it it always seemed fresh, there was so much strange stuff happening. Some gags I got right away- when Muffet meets Sidney the Spider, she's basically walking into the last scene of every Merrie Melodies cartoon, where all the citizens mobilize to beat up the bad guy who kidnapped the hero's girlfriend. But I never got the joke (or the irony) about the Christmas Tree, Mr Tannenbaum, being Jewish until I was much older. If Tattertown had been picked up it would perhaps have jump-started the adult animation boom that The Simpsons and Ren & Stimpy eventually pioneered.
Anyway, some others complain the characters are undeveloped but this was a pilot. Also, sometimes Bakshi just rolls that way. I'd rather watch a cartoon with amazing animation that makes me laugh anyway. I think this is actually one of Bakshi's best productions, I enjoyed it way more than Wizards or LOTR.
Anyway, some others complain the characters are undeveloped but this was a pilot. Also, sometimes Bakshi just rolls that way. I'd rather watch a cartoon with amazing animation that makes me laugh anyway. I think this is actually one of Bakshi's best productions, I enjoyed it way more than Wizards or LOTR.
The Beast of Yucca Flats
(1961)
Joseph Jaworski, noted scientist. Now, nothing.
29 October 2012
What can I say that hasn't already been said? As much as I want Plan 9 to have the crown of worst movie ever, in my heart I know this one is much much worse. Tor Johnson is such a menacing killer, he needs a cane to walk over rocky ground. He looks hilarious trying to catch the vacant little boys. Oh, and he likes to rape dead women. So he's got that going for him.
This is just such a sloppy mess of a movie. You could probably fill a book with what's wrong with it. For example, the policemen couldn't climb onto the plateau so they decide to parachute onto it. But somehow the lost boys, their father, and the Beast all managed to get up there. Why do the cops suddenly lose control of their car right before they get to the airfield? Did the actor playing the dad forget he was supposed to be shot? How can a big lummox like Tor creep into the backseat of a car unnoticed and strangle someone? I realize that most of the people in this movie were probably all friends of Coleman Francis, and not experienced actors. But some of them are capital-U Ugly.
The worst offender of all is that non sequitur voice-over. I literally tilted my head in confusion when he said, "Flag on the moon. How'd it get there?" There hadn't been any dialogue for some time before that, and I had to wonder exactly what the hell that was supposed to mean.
This is just such a sloppy mess of a movie. You could probably fill a book with what's wrong with it. For example, the policemen couldn't climb onto the plateau so they decide to parachute onto it. But somehow the lost boys, their father, and the Beast all managed to get up there. Why do the cops suddenly lose control of their car right before they get to the airfield? Did the actor playing the dad forget he was supposed to be shot? How can a big lummox like Tor creep into the backseat of a car unnoticed and strangle someone? I realize that most of the people in this movie were probably all friends of Coleman Francis, and not experienced actors. But some of them are capital-U Ugly.
The worst offender of all is that non sequitur voice-over. I literally tilted my head in confusion when he said, "Flag on the moon. How'd it get there?" There hadn't been any dialogue for some time before that, and I had to wonder exactly what the hell that was supposed to mean.
Mockingbird Lane
(2012 TV Movie)
Blood and guts, a weak substitute for the original's charm.
29 October 2012
Man, I hope this was just a one-shot. I'd hate for this to be the impression the current generation has of the Munsters. No children should be watching this anyway, there are some R-rated special effects. My mother was grossed out by Grandpa sucking blood out of the scout leader's chest through a tube. The rat transformation was cool but inappropriate in this context, a prime time special based on a beloved classic family program. Also, at least three of the Munsters appear in the nude.
I really like Jerry O'Connell, but he is no Herman. He's just a normal guy with stitches and a polo shirt walking around with his hands in his pockets during the entire production. I saw red every time he was on screen. I wouldn't expect him to channel Fred Gwynne given the direction the rest of the show went in but he is not the right man for this role- his character has none of the warmth or giddy childishness you'd expect from anyone playing this part. Will Ferrell, he would make a great Herman.
I guess the rest of the cast is OK. Eddie Izzard totally steals the show, a more diabolical but still recognizable Grandpa. Marilyn plays more like Wednesday Addams and Eddie is a normal boy. Lily didn't make much of an impression, other than as a mannequin to hang fancy costumes on.
I really like Jerry O'Connell, but he is no Herman. He's just a normal guy with stitches and a polo shirt walking around with his hands in his pockets during the entire production. I saw red every time he was on screen. I wouldn't expect him to channel Fred Gwynne given the direction the rest of the show went in but he is not the right man for this role- his character has none of the warmth or giddy childishness you'd expect from anyone playing this part. Will Ferrell, he would make a great Herman.
I guess the rest of the cast is OK. Eddie Izzard totally steals the show, a more diabolical but still recognizable Grandpa. Marilyn plays more like Wednesday Addams and Eddie is a normal boy. Lily didn't make much of an impression, other than as a mannequin to hang fancy costumes on.
Hilarious kung fu movie for kids!
25 August 2011
My parents rented this for me in the 80's, I dubbed a copy and still watch it now and then. This movie is something like an earlier 3 Ninjas, it's about a trio of boys who learn martial arts from their grandparents. Grandma wants them to go to school while Grandpa wants to keep training them, so they have a duel. You've seen the scene in other movies where two combatants fight on top of tall wooden posts- here, they fight on top of dozens of soda cans stacked in the yard. Grandma wins with a dirty trick, so the boys get sent out in the world- hilarity and numerous painful groin shots ensue.
This movie is long out of print, you'll have to find it on VHS if you want to see it. Your boys will probably love it, we all wanted to be ninjas at some point.
This movie is long out of print, you'll have to find it on VHS if you want to see it. Your boys will probably love it, we all wanted to be ninjas at some point.
Ninja ryûkenden
(1991 Video)
Violent ninja fun!
22 August 2011
Ninja Gaiden was one of the first videogames to have "cinema scenes" in between stages to flesh out the story, so it would seem natural for it to spawn an anime. And it did, although we western fans never got a chance to see it at the height of the series' popularity . Anyway, through the magic of other people having a lot of free time on their hands, you can now easily watch the Ninja Gaiden OVA fansubbed via the internet. I bought my copy in DVD form from eBay a few years ago and just rewatched it, and I figured I'd review it while it was still fresh in my mind. Relatively fresh anyway, most of the incidental character's names elude me.
The story starts with a man being pursued through dark New York streets by a pair of weird masked creatures with blades. The guy turns out to be Ryu Hayabusa in street clothes, and when he gets to a nice open spot he uses the Dragon Sword to make a bloody mess out of the attackers, who keep coming after taking an incredible amount of damage. After he finally puts them down, he goes home to his antique shop which he runs with Irene Lew the former CIA agent, who is really mousy and helpless in this story. He doesn't tell her about the monsters and acts all distant, telling her she need to go stay with her family. The next day she complains about their relationship to her friend, a reporter who's dating Robert T. Sturgeon from NG2. It seems the monsters didn't eat old Jungle Rat Rob after all! He runs a detective agency these days, and the reporter-girlfriend starts nagging him to make Ryu be nicer to Irene. Then she goes off to cover a press conference for a scientist who claims to have the cure for cancer- it turns out, this guy is pretty shady.
Following up a lead from a Professor Bucky-Wise (seriously! It's in English on his door and everything), Ryu, Robert TS and the reporter investigate his home lab and discover the scientist is doing a lot of genetic experiments, he made the bionoids that attacked Ryu in the beginning using part of Jashin's body (the last boss in NG1). They want his sword to harness the life energy it holds to make better monsters, or something. Ryu tears the place apart and later the bionoids attack his antique shop and kidnap Irene. I think you can guess how the rest goes- Ryu, Rob and their buddies raid the scientist's main building and kill a lot more creepy crawlers in rich red gouts of late-80's anime blood before the big showdown. Incidentally, Ryu cuts down a whole lot of the same monsters he had such trouble with in the beginning in one stroke- either he's getting better or the later batches needed to bake a little longer.
The animation is pretty good, and it's obvious the filmmakers watched a lot of American 80's action movies when they were plotting this out. There are a lot of car chases, motorcycles crashing through plate glass windows, male bonding and heavy ordnance. I was a little disappointed with Irene's weakling personality which doesn't fit with what we know about her already, and also that Ryu didn't wear his traditional NES getup. Instead he has an outfit with long sleeves, spikes on each shoulder and no full head ninja mask. He wears the part over his face for about two seconds before taking it off. Interestingly, I saw the original Japanese box for NG3 the other day, and it's Ryu wearing the suit he has in this OVA. The plot about bionoids seems also to lead into NG3, and Ryu's Dead Or Alive bio lists his occupation as curio shop owner, so I guess this movie is canon.
If you're even half the Ninja Gaiden fan I am, I recommend you see it. It's only an hour, and not bad for its age. Good fights, good animation, so-so story and character development.
The story starts with a man being pursued through dark New York streets by a pair of weird masked creatures with blades. The guy turns out to be Ryu Hayabusa in street clothes, and when he gets to a nice open spot he uses the Dragon Sword to make a bloody mess out of the attackers, who keep coming after taking an incredible amount of damage. After he finally puts them down, he goes home to his antique shop which he runs with Irene Lew the former CIA agent, who is really mousy and helpless in this story. He doesn't tell her about the monsters and acts all distant, telling her she need to go stay with her family. The next day she complains about their relationship to her friend, a reporter who's dating Robert T. Sturgeon from NG2. It seems the monsters didn't eat old Jungle Rat Rob after all! He runs a detective agency these days, and the reporter-girlfriend starts nagging him to make Ryu be nicer to Irene. Then she goes off to cover a press conference for a scientist who claims to have the cure for cancer- it turns out, this guy is pretty shady.
Following up a lead from a Professor Bucky-Wise (seriously! It's in English on his door and everything), Ryu, Robert TS and the reporter investigate his home lab and discover the scientist is doing a lot of genetic experiments, he made the bionoids that attacked Ryu in the beginning using part of Jashin's body (the last boss in NG1). They want his sword to harness the life energy it holds to make better monsters, or something. Ryu tears the place apart and later the bionoids attack his antique shop and kidnap Irene. I think you can guess how the rest goes- Ryu, Rob and their buddies raid the scientist's main building and kill a lot more creepy crawlers in rich red gouts of late-80's anime blood before the big showdown. Incidentally, Ryu cuts down a whole lot of the same monsters he had such trouble with in the beginning in one stroke- either he's getting better or the later batches needed to bake a little longer.
The animation is pretty good, and it's obvious the filmmakers watched a lot of American 80's action movies when they were plotting this out. There are a lot of car chases, motorcycles crashing through plate glass windows, male bonding and heavy ordnance. I was a little disappointed with Irene's weakling personality which doesn't fit with what we know about her already, and also that Ryu didn't wear his traditional NES getup. Instead he has an outfit with long sleeves, spikes on each shoulder and no full head ninja mask. He wears the part over his face for about two seconds before taking it off. Interestingly, I saw the original Japanese box for NG3 the other day, and it's Ryu wearing the suit he has in this OVA. The plot about bionoids seems also to lead into NG3, and Ryu's Dead Or Alive bio lists his occupation as curio shop owner, so I guess this movie is canon.
If you're even half the Ninja Gaiden fan I am, I recommend you see it. It's only an hour, and not bad for its age. Good fights, good animation, so-so story and character development.
Rockula
(1990)
Good way to kill an afternoon.
14 July 2010
Recently saw this on cable, kind of a time-capsule of late 80's cheese. It's not a great movie by any means, I had to fast-forward all the musical sequences except Toni Basil's. She is great in this, by the way- love her costumes, and her dancing.
The main character is a lameass virgin vampire, who's fated to keep meeting his murdered lover over and over again until he stops her from getting killed with a hambone by a pirate. Stupid, but the pirate is played by Thomas Dolby, who also has a couple of good moments. I liked his holistic cemetery commercial, with the coin-operated flowers and coffin-on-a-spit so you can roll in your grave.
What else... Mona, the big-haired heroine of the story has a really hot dorky friend with cats-eye glasses and a pageboy haircut. So if you like gothy girls, heads up.
The main character is a lameass virgin vampire, who's fated to keep meeting his murdered lover over and over again until he stops her from getting killed with a hambone by a pirate. Stupid, but the pirate is played by Thomas Dolby, who also has a couple of good moments. I liked his holistic cemetery commercial, with the coin-operated flowers and coffin-on-a-spit so you can roll in your grave.
What else... Mona, the big-haired heroine of the story has a really hot dorky friend with cats-eye glasses and a pageboy haircut. So if you like gothy girls, heads up.
Gamera vs. Guiron
(1969)
Gamera, friend of all children!
24 June 2010
Like many others, I was introduced to this movie on MST3K, and while it's hard to forget a lot of the humor they added to it, it's still genuinely weird and charming on its own merits. Although yes, that little girl does look like a little old lady, and the white mom does indeed look like David Bowie.
This is very much a children's kaiju movie, in fact while watching it I thought it was a lot like something out of a kid's imagination- the monster with a knife for a head, the strangely sexy space women, the awesome pet/big brother/guardian that is Gamera. I like the kid-like logic the boys display when they try to disable a teleporter's control mechanism by pulling the knobs off, then smashing them with rocks. Or the deadpan seriousness on Akio's face, when he informs Tom that Gamera can easily attain speeds in excess of Mach 60, except if he did he'd blast clear out of the solar system. It's the same tone in which a young modern geek would tell you that Pikachu requires a Thunder Stone in order to evolve to Raichu.
The SFX are good, the little space city looks really great. The costumes aren't on the level of a Godzilla movie, but in this day and age of digital effects, it's pretty hard to suspend one's disbelief when watching a rubber kaiju battle anyway, and I choose to enjoy them for what they are rather than what they could be. Overall this movie was a lot of fun, a great movie for the kids.
This is very much a children's kaiju movie, in fact while watching it I thought it was a lot like something out of a kid's imagination- the monster with a knife for a head, the strangely sexy space women, the awesome pet/big brother/guardian that is Gamera. I like the kid-like logic the boys display when they try to disable a teleporter's control mechanism by pulling the knobs off, then smashing them with rocks. Or the deadpan seriousness on Akio's face, when he informs Tom that Gamera can easily attain speeds in excess of Mach 60, except if he did he'd blast clear out of the solar system. It's the same tone in which a young modern geek would tell you that Pikachu requires a Thunder Stone in order to evolve to Raichu.
The SFX are good, the little space city looks really great. The costumes aren't on the level of a Godzilla movie, but in this day and age of digital effects, it's pretty hard to suspend one's disbelief when watching a rubber kaiju battle anyway, and I choose to enjoy them for what they are rather than what they could be. Overall this movie was a lot of fun, a great movie for the kids.
Zombie Beach Party
(2003 Video)
Grade Z fun
1 March 2010
I bought this on eBay after being lured in by that Kirbyesque cover, only to actually receive one with a much crummier Photoshopped cover of scenes in the movie. It may sound lame, but it dampened my enthusiasm for the movie and I didn't end up watching it for two weeks.
Anyway, it was decent fun. The first ten minutes or so were boring and I nearly cut the DVD off until the hot goth gas pump attendant appeared. Then more boring for another ten minutes or so, and the movie finally started kicking into gear. Some decent wrestling, lots of excessive blood, nice looking but still fake body parts for the zombies to nibble on, topless yacht captains. Part of the movie takes place in an abandoned amusement park, and they try to do one of those Scooby-Doo things where A runs in one door while B runs out the other trying to catch A. So there's that.
Did I mention how hot that tattooed goth chick is? Pretty hot. I would have been mad if the zombies got her, fortunately she ends up with a somewhat happy ending.
Anyway, it was decent fun. The first ten minutes or so were boring and I nearly cut the DVD off until the hot goth gas pump attendant appeared. Then more boring for another ten minutes or so, and the movie finally started kicking into gear. Some decent wrestling, lots of excessive blood, nice looking but still fake body parts for the zombies to nibble on, topless yacht captains. Part of the movie takes place in an abandoned amusement park, and they try to do one of those Scooby-Doo things where A runs in one door while B runs out the other trying to catch A. So there's that.
Did I mention how hot that tattooed goth chick is? Pretty hot. I would have been mad if the zombies got her, fortunately she ends up with a somewhat happy ending.
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