ldw-eg Reviews

Blindness (2008)

If there was a point to this movie, I completely missed it

[1/10 · 9 September 2012]

I assume that "absolutely no point" won't be considered a spoiler. "Blindness" is essentially a 2 hour long "shaggy dog story". (See Wikipedia.)

Wasting 2 hours watching this steaming pile of junk should make me remember to check IMDb before watching a movie I never heard of. Sat there for 2 hours wondering "where is this going?", only to get to the end to find out that the answer is "nowhere." What I'd like to find out is where the program guide shown on TiVo came up with 2.5 stars (out of possible 4) for this. I hope that whoever green-lighted this movie has left the film industry.

This might have been tolerable as a half-hour short, but stretching it to 2 hours was inexcusable.

After further thought, it now occurs to me that maybe the point was to make the viewer suffer in order to have empathy for the characters. It succeeded at the suffering part. Yet it doesn't generate empathy for the characters. For an example of a downer concept done right, generating empathy for the characters, see the excellent "Testament" (1983).

The Snow Walker (2003)

Much more than the sum of its parts

[8/10 · 8 April 2009]

I'm going to start out by saying that I loved this movie, yet it's hard to spell out exactly why. As many other reviewers indicated, this movie reaches out and grabs you (if you let it.) I read some of the reviews here and browsed many of the rest. It seems that some people just wanted to nitpick the deficiencies. Yes, there are some potentially big plot problems with this film. But if you brush them off and let the film surround you, it's a very emotionally involving movie. It does creep up on you slowly though. But that in fact is key to why it works as a whole.

One reviewer didn't like the ending and said she'd never watch it again, and that it should be remade with a different ending. I was certainly looking forward to a different ending, yet the other reviewer's desired ending would have been a contrived sell-out. Could "Love Story" or "Brian's Song" have had happy endings? No! And neither could "The Snow Walker." While the ending was a shock, in hindsight it's certainly the most likely outcome for the scenario. There are parallels between "The Snow Walker" and "Love Story" and a happy ending to either would have been a quite different story, ultimately one with much less impact. I've seen Love Story a few times, and even knowing the ending, I think I'd watch The Snow Walker again. If those movies don't touch you, somebody should call the morgue.

Body of Lies (2008)

Incompetent subtitles of foreign-language dialog

[5/10 · 22 February 2009]

I suppose this was a good movie, and looking at the number of comments people have posted, there's no reason for me to comment on the plot or acting. My enjoyment of the movie was badly marred by the incompetent subtitles any time the characters are speaking a language other than English (usually Arabic). Note that I am not referring to the closed-caption type subtitles that you can turn on and off. I did turn them on in the hope that they'd include a readable-sized translation of the Arabic but all they had was "(speaking Arabic)".

I watched this on DVD on a friend's 26" (?) old-style standard TV. My vision isn't good to start with, and the translations get smaller and smaller as the movie progresses, starting from way too small going all the way to microscopic. I'm sure that the director had some reason for doing that, but I don't care. Whomever was ultimately responsible for the translated-Arabic subtitles needs to be fired and blacklisted from the business. By the end of the movie it was necessary to freeze frame it and walk to the TV set and practically put my nose to the screen in order to read the subtitles, and some of them still weren't readable due to being pale yellow against white objects.

Without being able to easily read the translation of the Arabic, it's very difficult and painful to follow this otherwise-good movie. I suggest that the studio issue a recall for all DVDs and re-issue them with readable sized subtitles, after firing the original tech responsible for that small text size.

The Last Man (2000)

Comedy?

[2/10 · 12 April 2006]

After wasting 2 hours of my life watching this movie on late night television, I went back and reread some of the IMDb material, to remind myself of why I watched it in the first place. In hindsight, the only thing that I can think of is that the genre generally appeals to me. But this movie was a total waste of effort. It fails on every level, and to see that it's described on IMDb as a comedy really leaves me at a loss. I don't recall more than a couple of chuckles. There are more laughs in any episode of Law and Order than in The Last Man. Seriously.

Too much of the characters' interaction just didn't seem to me to have any foundation, and was therefore very unlikely/unbelievable.

If it hadn't been for the almost-gratuitous bikini shots, well, what can I say? Avoid this movie like the plague. Or tape it and just fast forward to the bikini shots. Do not spend even $1 to rent it though.

How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days (2003)

Cringe

[2/10 · 15 March 2006]

I want my money back. Oh, wait, I watched it on TV. OK, I want my 2.5 hours back. Not to mention my sanity.

While I often enjoy "chick flicks", I can't imagine why *anybody* would like this movie. I watched it because of the 6.2 rating on IMDb. Not only was it a total waste of time, but it was just downright painful to watch. So why did I watch the whole thing? I just had to know why it got a 6.2 and kept wondering if something interesting was going to happen. But I still don't know where that 6.2 comes from...

No matter how much one might like the actors, this was basically a 2 hour episode of "Three's Company" (a sitcom from decades ago.) If you value honesty in relationships, you should hate this movie.

Of course there are no real surprises in the plot. And if you can't guess at the ending just from reading the various one sentence summaries of the movie, well, then, never mind, you're probably surprised when the sun comes up in the morning.

I gave this a 2 rather than a 1 only because of the likability of the actors (*not* the characters they play in this movie!) Otherwise I'd be looking for a way to give it a rating of 0.

Mayday (2005 TV Movie)

Effective movie if you suspend disbelief

[7/10 · 3 October 2005]

OK, so I'm a sucker for this type of "reluctant average Joe steps up and saves the day" type of movie. So what if there were plot holes big enough to fly a jetliner through? This movie follows the formula that essentially every airplane disaster movie before it follows, and every one after it will follow. If you don't know how it's going to end before the first commercial break, well then you just weren't paying attention to the first dozen of these movies. As soon as the "weekend pilot" enters the cockpit, even before he says he's a "weekend pilot", you know that he's going to successfully but barely land the plane, just like in every other airplane disaster movie.

If you can suspend disbelief -- as is required for many many successful movies -- this is an effective movie. Does anybody believe that James Bond can do all the stunts in that series of movies? No. But you suspend disbelief and enjoy the ride. I did and this movie worked for me.

It also helps that I think that insurance companies and insurance adjusters are scum of the earth. This movie hits you over the head with a sledgehammer on that point. If you hold them in high regard then you will dislike this movie.

Greendale (2003)

If you're not a Neil Young fan, skip this movie.

[2/10 · 7 September 2004]

I saw this movie a few months ago in the town which appeared as Greendale in the movie, which is the only reason I went to see it. Another local who was there just forwarded to me an email announcement of a repeat showing because the first had sold out and people were turned away. His editorial comment in his forward is a good summary:

"Yuk."

Unless you're a Neil Young fan or live in/near "Greendale" (if the latter you know the real name), skip this movie. It's mostly an ego trip for the filmmaker. It has no discernible plot, the music is merely OK, and too much of the lyrics are unintelligible making it impossible to follow what little shreds of plot there may be.

I don't need to put in a spoiler warning because there are no surprises to give away.

I'd give this a 1.5/10, but that's just for the amusement value of seeing the locales made into a movie. It wasn't worth the $6. I could rent a video camera and drive around "Greendale" and make a better movie myself.

If you want to see a *good* environmental-message movie with no plot, go rent Koyaanisqatsi.

Ladyhawke (1985)

I really liked the movie and don't remember the music

[28 March 2004]

I haven't seen this movie since it came out a couple of decades ago. I remember that I really liked it, I remember the premise, I remember who I saw it with. I don't remember the music. So how bad could the music have been?

Maybe I'll see it again now on DVD, if only to see what all the griping is about.

The premise is unique as far as I know, which is what makes this movie special. Nobody has said that the plot is a ripoff of anything else or vice versa.