Kaijikun Reviews

Avatar: The Last Airbender (2024– )

Totally blown away.

[10/10 · 23 February 2024]

I honestly think a lot of people decided they weren't going to like this show before they even watched it. I can't say I had high hopes myself but I kept an open mind and I'm completely floored.

The effects, the settings, the music are all absolutely top notch, but that would mean nothing without a good cast, and this show has an amazing cast. While it's true that some cast members are more experienced than others, this only adds to the feeling of a bunch of wide-eyed kids who haven't yet found their feet in life taking on something far bigger than they are. The feeling of "people pulling together and doing their best" is heavily accentuated by the greenness of most of the actors.

I was delighted to find that Aang is no longer the ludicrously wacky cartoon character seen in the original. He has a great balance of being lighthearted without being a clown, and serious without being melodramatic.

The guy playing Sokka feels like he was genetically designed for the part and feels much more believable and relatable than the original voice actor, who was way too hammy and derpy.

I didn't think anyone could top the original Katara, who carried the show imo, but the new actress is truly something else and undoubtedly has a sparkling career ahead of her.

Yes, the story is presented with far less depth than the original but the presentation suits the live action format brilliantly. I see this as an exceptionally well crafted companion piece to the original, and I feel sorry for those who fail to see the magic in this show.

If they cancel it due to people who can't loosen up and enjoy something different to what they're used to, I'll consider it a great loss.

The Place Beyond the Pines (2012)

Decent-ish movie. Too long for what little it delivers

[5/10 · 20 February 2023]

I watched this based on the glowing reviews so here's my 2c to balance the perspective a bit.

Ryan Gosling plays his usual soulless cardboard cutout non-character who we're supposed to be endeared by because there's nobody home. He's cool and relatable because he's extremely emotionally shallow.

Bradley Cooper plays his usual "sparkly-eyed thoroughbred good guy". I see him as kind of like a placeholder for a real actor so I was a little disappointed when the entire movie became about his character.

The two sons gave the best performances in the movie, despite the kind of silly proposition that the son of a well respected, highly educated cop and a clearly intelligent and well put together mother would be a thuglike gangsta rapper who can barely manage to slur a coherent sentence, combined with the "just take our word for it on this one" immersion-shattering idea that he would instantly befriend the son of the man his father killed the very day he started going to the same school.

Far from terrible but I would only really recommend this to people who haven't seen many movies.

Honeymoon (2014)

Amazingly dull, bland hollow movie.

[2/10 · 10 July 2022]

The newly married couple had precisely zero chemistry whatsoever. Extremely awkward scenes of cringy intimacy. Keeps you watching in hope of finding out why you're watching, then it just ends. None of the extremely flimsy plot points were ever resolved.

Totally lacking in style and substance. I gave it a 2 instead of a 1 because I sincerely believe the actors meant well.

All About Nina (2018)

Totally devoid of spirit or soul.

[1/10 · 9 July 2022]

Extremely wooden performances combined with uninteresting plot and middle-school level "comedy" (I'm saying a lot of inappropriate things! Tee hee!).

Mary Elizabeth Winstead is proof that you can have a magnetic screen presence while also being completely incompetent at acting.

This movie honestly seemed like an 11-year old's idea of "cool". Cringe doesn't even begin to describe it.

Terrified (2017)

Impressive effects. Unimpressive movie.

[3/10 · 4 July 2022]

If a movie makes me forget that I'm watching a movie, I consider it a good movie. This wasn't a good movie.

Despite the movie starting off strongly, I found myself constantly willing it to "get on with it" as it developed into an insultingly simple formula of bland dialog and a clumsy plot full of unconvincing forced tension, occasionally punctuated by impressive special effects which only served to underline how weak every other aspect of the movie was.

Argentina has created some great horror movies, but this isn't one of them.

Looper (2012)

Finally got around to watching this to find out I was missing nothing at all

[1/10 · 30 June 2022]

They "solved" the problem of Joseph Gordon Levitt looking nothing like Bruce Willis by making him look like a parrot wearing makeup.

The graphic, lingering shots on people being blasted up close with shotguns seemed designed to excite 12 year olds with empty lives.

The "emotional" scenes were extremely shallow, awkwardly directed and forced.

This movie tried way too hard to be good but was ultimately all concept, no substance. Tragic that the wonderful Emily Blunt's talents were wasted on it.

I can definitely see why the Marvel/Star Wars obsessed masses were left in a state of awe by it's flashy, clumsy pointlessness.

Butterfly Kisses (2018)

Tries too hard

[4/10 · 11 June 2022]

They really went overboard trying to be "meta" in an attempt to generate an air of credibility in an overly saturated, cliche'd genre, and it might have worked if it wasn't for the amateurish acting.

The "Peeping Tom" character wasn't even remotely scary, and the only real tension the movie delivered was the obvious panic they were in to convince the viewer it was a true story.

Only worth watching if you're young and haven't seen many found footage movies.

The Northman (2022)

Robert Eggers is shaping up to be the next Tarantino

[1/10 · 13 May 2022]

By which I mean he made two outstanding lower budget movies, then everything else he did after that was him disappearing up his own ego.

Amazing sets but poor framing, very uninteresting plot, generic soundtrack, lame, cheap-looking attempts at Arunovsky-style set pieces, robotic direction ("Scream, then roll your eyes back in your head, then scream again, then roll your eyes again, then scream while looking into the camera") and amateurish acting (Bjork excessively rolling her R's like she was trying to make the crew laugh was a particular lowlight).

Hopefully The Northman was just a minor blip and Eggers will be back on form with his next movie.

Dune (2021)

Bland

[4/10 · 22 October 2021]

Vaguely decent but didn't really grip me. They overdid the "somber atmosphere" vibe to the point where it felt like there was no spirit or substance.

Special effects were the highlight (although they were far from fantastic). Soundtrack was quite decent. Actors seemed pretty disinterested but that's the norm for a 2021 movie.

I predict that they won't make the second one and they'll blame it on lack of sales due to piracy.

Ran (1985)

The Emperor's New Clothes: A Lesson In Cognitive Dissonance.

[5/10 · 21 August 2021]

What happens when an aging filmmaker is almost universally considered to be godlike in his field?

This. This is what happens.

The audience has already decided they are blown away by the movie because they enjoy the feeling of hero worship, and because of this on a deep, perhaps subconscious level the filmmaker knows that he doesn't have to try as hard to impress as he used to.

In "Ran", all the ingredients are there... Extremely high quality costumes, actors, scenery, plot, battles... But none of it comes together because the movie has very limited soul, passion or spirit. It just sort of "happens" like it's on rails.

It's as if the cast and crew had already decided it would be exceptionally good so they just showed up, did their thing and released it to an audience they already knew would fall over themselves to be overawed and enraptured by it.

Worth trudging through if you're a Kurosawa completist (in which case you've probably already decided it's a breathtaking, life-changing experience) but otherwise stick with the movies he made when he was young and on fire.

Harakiri (1962)

Shows the true potential of the film medium

[10/10 · 20 August 2021]

This movie has in spades what almost every other movie ever made has very little of by comparison: Genuine guts and sincerity.

Aside from a captivating story, acting that makes you feel like you traveled back in time, and an extremely immersive score, this film serves as an ever-important lesson on the necessity of deceit for the ruling classes to consolidate their power, and the common man's (now almost universally faded) desire to pursue truth and honour regardless of the cost.

Better than Kurosawa. Yeah I said it.

The Ice Road (2021)

It sucks

[1/10 · 26 June 2021]

It's a 2021 movie so you already know it's bad.

The acting makes it seem like the actors hate being employed (except Liam who expertly plays the exact same character he plays in every movie).

The main character's brother is mentally ill with PTSD, which means he's a like a cute, slightly malfunctioning robot. The scene where he popped out from under the truck with two thumbs up and a perfectly blank expression would have made me laugh out loud if I'd been able to believe my eyes.

The CGI looks like the result of a failed two week internship.

The plot is beyond predictable to anyone who's seen more than three movies in their life, and drags on at a seemingly intentionally tedious pace, as though the goal is to disappoint the viewer.

Give it a miss unless you absolutely need to see Liam Neeson doing the same thing again.

The House of the Devil (2009)

Extremely boring and hollow movie

[2/10 · 29 May 2021]

What a dull, flat, uninteresting movie this was.

The fairly convincing 80's-style production isn't anywhere near enough to make it entertaining when the plot is threadbare, the actors seem uninterested in the project, and the promise of a potential twist doesn't arrive.

Cringey B-movie moments:

The protagonist phones for a pizza which is made to order and delivered by the cult member who murdered her friend outside the house (Guess he works at Satan's Pizzeria?). This enables them to drug her, allowing the rest of the movie to happen. Lucky she decided to order that pizza!

She's able to escape from being tied up while drugged with multiple people watching her intently.

Her friend is able to drive without looking at the road for an entire scene.

While in a state of concern for her own safety and uncertain of her friend's whereabouts, she decides to spend a scene dancing around the creepy house like she's in Flashdance.

Preparations to Be Together for an Unknown Period of Time (2020)

Daft plot, mellow mood.

[5/10 · 8 May 2021]

Nothing about the events portrayed in this movie was believable and the ending was just plain silly, but it had a steady, chill vibe and the lead actress had a very captivating screen presence.

Recommended if you just want to relax for 90 mins, but don't expect anything deep.

Coming 2 America (2021)

Just as expected.

[1/10 · 5 March 2021]

Cringe humor, total lack of human spirit, actors phoning it in, skeletal plot...

At this point you can either see that there is a purposeful agenda to create disappointing (but profitable) reboots of beloved franchises in order to keep the masses depressed during the latest manufactured crisis, or you can't see what's happening in front of you.

Drew: The Man Behind the Poster (2013)

Decent documentary

[5/10 · 4 March 2021]

It was satisfying getting a greater insight into the huge talent behind all of those iconic movie posters.

Drew seems very humble but it was kind of disturbing seeing him laughing with glee and delighting in the fact that someone who wronged him had a heart attack and died.

Recommended to fans of art and/or movie posters. Not everyone will get a lot out of this.

Your Honor (II) (2020–2023)

A captivating mess.

[5/10 · 15 February 2021]

Even with a ton of loose ends, plot holes and an absolutely ridiculous joke of a conclusion it kept me watching all the way through, which is about as much as you can ask from any entertainment media created in the 2020s.

Brian Cranston was excellent and Carmen Ejogo was breathtaking but the guy who played Adam had almost zero screen presence. They might as well have used a cardboard cutout with a perma-baffled expression instead. His character being murdered almost felt like a consolation prize for the silly ending.

Shadow in the Cloud (2020)

A rare modern movie that has genuine spirit!

[7/10 · 1 January 2021]

First things first, if you complain about unbelievable things happening in a movie about gremlins attacking an airplane, you need to have your opinion license permanently revoked.

"Shadow in the Cloud" is obviously meant to be viewed as a simple comic book style rip-roaring WWII adventure to be enjoyed like a cheeseburger or a pint of ice cream and not to be deeply analyzed for plot depth and realism. The hordes of egotists falling over themselves to prove how "above it all" they are need to loosen up and switch to decaff. Yes, absolutely ludicrous things happen in this movie, and that's what makes it fun! Is everyone really so hopped up on dopamine from constantly scrolling through social media that they can't let go and enjoy a zany movie?

Chloe Moretz' performance was captivating and thrilling from start to finish. These are the kind of roles she was born to play and it was clear that she had an absolute blast making the movie. The rest of the cast were clearly there to be functional, forgettable cardboard cutouts, and the energy of the movie would have suffered if they'd been directed to draw attention away from the main character.

I'm confident that in a decade this movie will be found on film lists under the heading "Cult movies that were despised on release". I'd love to see a sequel!

Alone (V) (2020)

Very barebones thriller

[4/10 · 1 December 2020]

Man abducts woman who escapes, repeatedly evades and ultimately kills him. If you've never seen a movie with a similar plot, this could be a good one to start with as it asks very little of the viewer and gives very little in return.

Run (I) (2020)

Hollow, tiresome thriller.

[2/10 · 23 November 2020]

Ludicrous plot, script that seems to have been written by high school kids, extreme overacting.

Yet another 2020 movie that reeks of a team of people performing their jobs solely because they want to get paid and not because they want to create something rich in entertainment value.

Probably worth watching if you're 13 years old and have never seen a thriller before. Otherwise, avoid.

Landmine Goes Click (2015)

Good shocker

[8/10 · 20 October 2020]

If you can put aside the utterly ridiculous plot foundation (a guy tricks his friend into standing on a landmine in Georgia as revenge for having sex with his fiance) you'll find a revenge movie with a new twist: It's extremely hard to sympathize with the guy seeking revenge because he's just as much, if not more of a psychopath than the antagonist.

The casual, relaxed glee with which he enacts his vengeance on the murderer's innocent wife and daughter is disturbing to behold, until he goes too far and is left mindblown.

Definite shades of "Funny Games" in that you might not feel entertained, but you will feel like you went through a significant emotional experience.

I'm Thinking of Ending Things (2020)

Yet another soulless 2020 movie to add to the pile

[1/10 · 9 September 2020]

Catnip for pretentious pseudo-intellectuals.

I wasted my time so you don't have to. Watch literally anything else.

Burning (2018)

A carefully crafted, utterly hollow movie.

[2/10 · 31 August 2020]

Either they forgot to make the plot or characters interesting or this movie is an extremely clever statement on the spiritual death of humans living in the developed world.

I'll give them the benefit of the doubt and say "well played", but that still didn't make it enjoyable to watch.

Not so much an entertainment product, more a good opportunity to practice patience.

Bill & Ted Face the Music (2020)

In the 1980s they made great movies. In the 2020s, not so much.

[1/10 · 29 August 2020]

If you're a fan of Bill & Ted you're well advised to pass over this movie as though it simply doesn't exist, just as any self respecting Star Wars fan blanked out the Disney franchise-killers.

The only real use this movie has is finally putting an end to the "Keanu never ages" meme.

The Lodge (2019)

Horror as in "horrifically bad".

[1/10 · 1 July 2020]

This movie seems like the result of an avant garde experiment to attempt to produce a mainstream movie that no-one involved - writer, director, actors, etc - was actually interested in.

Watch something else.