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The Last Man on Earth (2015)
Moderators please delete this review
Moderators please delete this. I wrote a review but it had a prohibited word in it and I couldn't figure out what it was so I was copying and pasting the review in the text field paragraph by paragraph and hitting "preview" to see if I could narrow the word down to 1 paragraph. But I hit submit by accident and submitted half a review. I couldn't edit it and IMDb asks that you only submit one review, so I gave up. I was at a public computer and was too lazy to save a copy of the review so it's gone now. Sorry guys.
I need 10 lines of text total so I will add that the main problem I had with this show is that it is not very dense in jokes. The other problem was that almost all the characters were bad people and I thought it was too liberal.
X+Y (2014)
A Forgettable Film
This movie has great value: acting, directing, editing, even the dialogue is good. But where's the plot? Is the central conflict that he has Asperger's, or that his dad died, or that he's mean to his mom, or that he's in this math competition? I couldn't tell, and either could the movie. In the end the main character shows a little emotion and violin music plays and I'm supposed to give this movie 10 stars? Sorry, I hate to say it but this movie is premised on the fact that people will give it high ratings because it's about a kid with mental problems. It's like Blood Diamond, because I'm supposed to feel bad I'm not supposed to say anything bad about the movie. Well the problem with this movie was lack of plot and story... nothing happens and none of the conflicts in the movie resolve at all. There's no tension to any of the scenes, despite the theatrical music that plays throughout, because the only thing that can/does happen in this movie is the main character not understanding or being able to function in social situations. Which doesn't make for a very good plot. 6/10 stars: an enjoyable movie that you'll forget in 10 minutes.
Self/less (2015)
Great Beginning, Terrible 2nd Half
This movie starts with an awesome sci-fi premise, but turns into a bad action movie shortly after Ryan Reynolds is introduced. The sci-fi portion is awesome, beautifully shot, well-acted, and the main characters decision to undergo the procedure is well-justified. Then, when the action starts, the movie falters. There's nothing exciting or unique about the second half of the movie and you'll probably be bored, especially since Ryan Reynolds does not convince as an action hero. There is also something very unclever about the way the conflict with the villain resolves. Basically Ryan Reynold's character just thinks really hard about how to fix the situation, and finally he figures out a way. One wonders why he didn't think harder earlier... The ending of the movie is sentimental but good. If I could include spoilers this would be a much better review, but the spoilers aren't necessary so I hope this suffices.
Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)
Would be better as a 10 minute short.
Anyone who loved this movie is immature. Period. If you skip through this movie and watch only 30 seconds out of every 10 minutes you will get the whole plot (there is none...) and you will get to see some of the cool special effects. This movie is a total waste of good actors. There are no scenes in this movie which require a talented actor, and there really isn't any dialogue worth mentioning. The dystopian society is not fleshed out or explored at all. Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior is a far more intriguing and exciting movie, with a better lead (I love Tom Hardy but this movie could have starred anyone with the same effect), better villains, and waaaaaayyyyy better stunts.
3/10 stars, for good visual effects and some decent action scenes (although in a movie this FAKE you can't really get excited for action scenes since you know it's all CGI and BS)
Tiger House (2015)
Horrible plot makes movie unwatchable.
Although the dialogue and characters in this movie aren't bad, it's practically unwatchable due to the lack of plot, and terrible directing and editing. Here are some problems with this movie: The house has at least 10 cameras inside, but no smoke detectors or burglar alarm? There are at least 5 scenes where the heroine tries and fails to open windows throughout the house. Why? Are they locked from the outside??? In one scene she unties her boyfriend and his mother and here are their reactions: The boyfriend sits there all self satisfied, useless and relieved as if he just got done taking a huge crap. The mother decides to scream at the top of her lungs as if it never occurs to her to keep her voice down. Later in the movie the mother inexplicably has a shotgun (the shotgun was left outside in the previous scene, so how does the mother who was locked in a cupboard now have it?) In another scene the bad guy is climbing a ladder to get the heroine. The view will find himself thinking "Hit him in the head as he is climbing the ladder" but instead she just screams and cries, even though she already stabbed him with scissors twice in the previous scene. The viewer thinks she finally worked up the courage to do something smart or effective, but no. There were only about 3 good scenes in the whole movie and here are some other plot holes: The criminals don't bring any supplies but when they suddenly need a power drill it's just laying on the table. Likewise when they need gasoline they find a jug of gasoline in the boyfriends bedroom! ALMOST NO ONE KEEPS JUGS OF GASOLINE LAYING AROUND THEIR BEDROOM!
There are a LOT of problems with this movie and I don't want to go on forever but perhaps the biggest one that I haven't mentioned yet is the terrible editing/sound. Every shot and every scene, even the mundane ones like an argument between mother and son, has terrible spooky sound effects and noises as if this were a roman Polanski horror film. It might not have been so bad except it's in EVERY scene. So when the bad guys actually enter the house you already want to turn the movie off because you're so annoyed. And the editing: the house has 10 security cameras and every time we are watching a scene through a security camera the image flickers and distorts while all this scary music plays. It's as if they thought they were editing "The Ring". Also, every cut, every dissolve, is done with an accompanying horrible sound effect. This isn't even a horror movie lol! I don't know what they were thinking.
I do want to mention that some of the dialogue and characters are pretty good, although each bad guy inexplicably wants to tell his life story to the heroine. The first time this happens it makes sort of sense cause the guy is really stressed and just sort of talking. But in the very next scene another bad guy tells her his life story! And these stories aren't even interesting they are much like the plot of the movie: nothing happens!
The director apparently did Shakespeare and other off-Broadway plays before this his feature debut. You would think the directing would be better, but I guess all those years of doing plays left him with the unquenchable thirst to add endless sound effects and editing tricks to his first movie. He should have watched Glenn Gary Glenn Ross or The Six Degrees of Separation to learn how to translate play-directing to movie-directing. But he didn't and instead produced this piece of crap movie that I can't believe I finished watching. I'd love to talk about all the plot holes and stupid things that happen in the end of the movie (like the house exploding or the fact that the fire department never comes even though they live in a rich neighborhood). In conclusion, I wouldn't let the director or editor of this movie anywhere near another film project, ever (unless it was like Hellraiser 6 or some other stupid movie where a million spooky sound effects every scene might be fitting. I had a reoccuring thought while I was watching this movie and I still don't know the answer: "Boy that scene had a lot of problems, why didn't anyone care?" Maybe the director will write an essay one day explaining how movies turn out like this.