SylvesterFox007 Reviews

Batman vs. Two-Face (2017 Video)

A Fitting Swan Song for Adam West's Caped Crusader

[9/10 · 19 October 2017]

In the hearts of some, maybe even all, Batman fans, Adam West will always hold a cherished place. I remember as a kid tuning in to a few reruns of the series that had started just under two decades before I was born. For my money, Adam West will always be the best Batman. Despite the campiness around him, West's deadpan delivery was so perfect that he could convey his love for justice with a ridiculous eulogy for an "almost human porpoise" as much as Christian Bale could with an entire "It's not who I am under the mask" monologue.

Perhaps in direct response to that dark and gritty reboot, there's been renewed interest in the 60's series. The comic book series "Batman '66" imagines a continuation of the TV series that includes villains it never got around to, including psychedelic re-imaginings of characters that weren't even introduced until decades later. Last year's animated film "Batman: Return of the Caped Crusaders" breathed new life into the concept by bringing in the voice talents of the West, Burt Ward, and Julie Newmar, with the rest of the familiar characters resurrected through loving imitations by modern impressionists. That movie not only was a pitch-perfect extension of the '66 series, but brilliant satirized just how much darker the portrayal of the "Dark Knight" has become ever since. Earlier this year, we lost our contrasting "Bright Knight" when Adam West passed away, but not before lending his voice to a sequel.

"Batman Vs. Two-Face" doesn't satirize like its predecessor, but fully embraces the original series' campiness, with one concession: the inclusion of a villain considered too dark and gritty for the series at the time. Acccording to legend, Clint Eastwood was all set to take on the role of Two-Face before studio execs thought he'd scare off young viewers and put the kibosh on it. In "Batman Vs. Two-Face", Professor Hugo Strange, another villain who never appeared on the TV series, is working on an "evil extractor" to rehabilitate Gotham's greatest criminals. He's aided by another now- popular villain, one not created until the early 90's, in a cameo role. Strange, naturally, is portrayed with an impersonation of the German mad scientist voice Peter Sellers perfected for "Dr. Strangelove, Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb." Unfortunately for Strange, his assistant, and Gotham City District Attorney Harvery Dent, Batman's greatest enemies have the ability to raise their evilness on command and, through their combined malevolent cackling, cause the devise to overload, splashing the D.A.'s face with the liquid manifestation of evil and transforming him physically and mentally into Two-Face.

The opening credits montage shows Batman and Robin waging war on Two-Face as if he were just another villain on the bi-weekly roster of the series. When we return to the film proper, Bruce Wayne has found a way to restore Dent's face as well as his law career. But when King Tut and Book Worm, two villains who existed solely in the universe of the TV series, pull off heists with all of the trademarks of Two-Face's plots, Batman and Robin have to try to figure out how Two-Face can co-exist with the seemingly cured Harvey. It's a mystery with a simple solution, but the movie's not about detective work: it's about revisiting a Gotham where the swinging 60's never ended, and where the police force exists only to toggle the Bat Signal on and off, because they wouldn't know how to bring a jaywalker to justice without the intervention of the Dynamic Duo.

Sorry, Clint, but William Shatner should have always been the first choice for Two-Face. Not only was he a familiar face on TV screens of that era, but no one else shared Adam West's love for the dramatic pause the way he does. He makes the menacing villain gel well with the campy universe, his distinctive cadence fits the squeaky-clean prosecutor, while he adds just a little bit of a growl to portray the darker aspects of the character. And there will never, ever be another Adam West. Only he could make a visit to the window of Catwoman's prison cell to share a kiss, read some poetry, and remind her how many months are left until her debt to society is paid seem so endearing.

Youthful ward Dick Grayson's maternal aunt gets giddy at how intimate Bruce and Dick seem, winking and nudging at rumors about the relationship that have persisted since the 60's, but she also gets giddy seeing Bruce and Harvey together, at one point all but pressing their faces together and telling them to start making out. Taking from other popular adaptations of the Two-Face character, Bruce and Harvey are portrayed as being old friends, in spite of the fact that the D.A. never even got a namedrop in the original series. It makes for a sort of love triangle between Bruce Wayne, Harvey Dent, and Dick Grayson, and pays off with a sweet little moment of Batman declaring just how rock solid his relationship with the Boy Wonder is.

Always leave 'em wanting more. It's sad for me to think of what might have been. If only someone had the brilliant idea of bringing Adam West and Burt Ward in to revisit the classic series in animated form earlier, we may have been able to witness the two squaring off against Poison Ivy or Scarecrow or Harley Quinn. But, as it is, this is as good of a sendoff as our Bright Knight could ever have asked for.

The Babysitter (I) (2017)

Blood-Soaked but Heartfelt

[9/10 · 18 October 2017]

"The Babysitter", Netflix's original Friday the 13th offering, mixes its blood-spattered horror with a funny coming-of-age story. In fact, the entire first act is almost completely devoid of horrific elements and committed to letting the audience get to know its plucky hero. The movie starts with Cole (Judah Lewis), a twelve- year-old boy who still screams and struggles like a much younger child when it's time to get a shot. Cole is afraid of everything, constantly bullied, and completely oblivious to the fact that girl next door Melanie (Emily Alyn Lind) has a crush on him. Cole has a crush of his own, on his babysitter Bee (Samara Weaving). Why should he care about being too old to still need a babysitter when his parents want some time out of the house, when his sitter's this hot and this cool? She sticks up for him when he's being picked on, watches old movies with him, and indulges his nerdy hypothetical questions about which science fiction characters would make the best team for saving the world from evil.

Then things take a really dark turn. At Melanie's urging, Cole sneaks out of bed to spy on Bee. He catches her playing a game of Truth or Dare that ends with her giving quick kisses to jock Max (Robbie Amell), goth Sonya (Hana Mae Lee), and class clown John (Andrew Bachelor), and a long, passionate one to cheerleader Allison (Bella Thorne), before making out with her dorky boyfriend Samuel (Doug Haley) . . . and then knifing him in the head. Turns out Bee has promised her friends she can make all of their dreams come true if they participate in this Satanic ritual she knows. The ritual also involves taking a few harmless drops of blood from Cole, but when the clique finds out he's seen too much, they won't settle for that.

The stock characters that would have been helplessly butchered in 80's horror movies are the monsters here, but they're also still victims. As Cole faces his fears and makes them chase him around his house, they each end up meeting a gory demise one by one. Never mind the times where Cole gets outside of the house and then runs right back in, just for the sake of continuing their deadly game of tag for the sake of there being a movie.

Robbie Amell is a surprising standout. Very amiable for being both a dumb jock and a psycho killer, Max takes the occasional break from the chase to try to play big brother to Cole, mentoring him on how to stand up for himself before resuming trying to kill him. But it's really Judah Lewis and Samara Weaving's show. With all the time invested into getting to know them at the beginning of the movie, they manage to make you believe, or at least want to believe, that there's still genuine affection between the babysitter and her charge, even after she's set her friends on hunting him down. As a result, the inevitable confrontation between them is actually quite poignant and touching.

Director McG cut his teeth on music videos before helming 2000's TV to screen adaptation of "Charlie's Angels", which I always found fun and exciting (though I wish he hadn't let all the reviews praising the movie for not taking itself too seriously go to his head, since the sequel shifted from tongue-in-cheek to absurd self-parody) and his flashy style is on full display here. I found myself wondering how long we have until on-screen text and quirky soundtrack cues being treated like additional characters makes a movie feel dated instead of hip and modern, but I did grin at a couple of the captions and song choices, so here I'll allow it.

There's plenty of comically over-the-top gore, but moments meant to be suspenseful are more eye-rolling that nail-biting, so if you're looking for something to make you scream and jump out of your chair, this may be the wrong movie for you. But if you're looking for a sly and silly send-up of films about nubile teens being massacred and one with plenty of heart beneath the gruesome exterior, you may find yourself falling in love.

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)

The Worst Batman Movie Since Batman & Robin; The Worst Superman Movie Since Superman Returns

[2/10 · 26 March 2016]

Just how bad is "Batman V. Superman: Dawn of Justice?" "Batman & Robin" was a better Batman movie. "Superman Returns" was a better Superman movie. "Daredevil" was a better super hero movie starring Ben Affleck. "Waterworld" was a better movie featuring Kevin Costner.

Those movies were all misguided messes, but at least I found them entertaining the first time I watched them, which is more than I can say for the joyless two and a half hour drag that is BvS.

Can Ben Affleck pull off Batman? That's been one of the big questions on everyone's mind since he was cast. He can and he does. While I wouldn't call him the best actor to ever dawn the cowl, he's suitably intense and brooding. If the movie was cut down to just Affleck's scenes, it still wouldn't be good, but it would at least be watchable. As for another questionable casting choice that pays off, Jeremy Irons' performance as Batman's faithful butler Alfred Pennyworth is pitch-perfect. Despite normally being associated with villainous roles, Irons' Alfred is the film's biggest bright spot. But this is far from the only terrible movie Jeremy Irons has been the only bright spot in.

On the opposite end of the spectrum is Jesse Eisenberg's Lex Luthor. Great actors like Gene Hackman and Kevin Spacey have chewed their way through the scenery in the role before, but Jesse Eisenberg takes it to a whole new level of over the top. From adopting a Southern accent to quote "A Streetcar Named Desire," to sharing a Jolly Rancher with a hapless Senator, to a mumbling Paul Revere impersonation, Eisenberg seems to be channeling the Joker rather than Superman's cerebral foe. There's such a thing as a villain that audiences are supposed to love to hate, but Lex Luthor had me wanting to walk up to the movie screen and punch it for all the wrong reasons. And the explanation for how the character goes from flowing locks to his iconic chrome dome had me scratching my own scalp.

The other performances are about what you'd expect. Henry Cavill fares just as well as Superman as he did in Zack Snyder's "Man of Steel." Gal Gadot, Ray Fisher, Ezra Miller, and Jason Momoa get too little screen time to make much of an impression as the other members of the Justice League.

But the movie's flaws go much deeper than the casting. BvS seems like it's trying too hard to be the antithesis to Disney's breezy Marvel Cinematic Universe. While those movies make comic book adaptations fun and enjoyable for mainstream audiences, BvS sucks all the fun out of the room. That's not to say that the film shouldn't be dark and gritty. But even Frank Miller's "The Dark Knight Returns," the graphic novel BvS takes most of its plot cues from, had its own warped sense of humor, and Heath Ledger's Joker and Tom Hardy's Bane had audiences laughing at, and still quoting, their darkly humorous quips throughout Christopher Nolan's Dark Knight trilogy.

The plot finds Superman suspected of war crimes after once again flying heedlessly to the rescue of damsel in distress Lois Lane. Meanwhile, mild-mannered reporter Clark Kent is appalled that the vigilante Batman in Gotham City has taken to branding the criminals he takes down, marking them for prison justice. Even for an alien that has only been on Earth for two years, it seems crazy that he would think he can curb Batman's brutal methods twenty years after the Bat Signal's been installed.

The two characters spend two hours dramatically circling each other before finally throwing down in an anticlimactic fist fight. (Batman seriously punches Superman in the chin several times before realizing the Man of Steel won't flinch.) And even with the slow crawl to the battle, it seems like key scenes had to be edited for time. With all the plot holes, it's hard to understand why Bats and Supes are finally fighting, or why we should care who wins. Or why so much time that could have been spent developing the plot was wasted on dream sequences.

Mr. Peabody & Sherman (2014)

Perfect for Kids and Kids At Heart

[9/10 · 20 March 2014]

In the trailer for "Mr. Peabody & Sherman," the hyper-intelligent dog learns that his adoptive human son and a classmate have hijacked his time machine. "You used the WABAC?" Mr. Peabody says. "Yeah. She was into it," Sherman says. Whoever edited this is a genius, creating a new joke by removing a few lines of dialog from the final version of the actual scene (Sherman's friend was innocently "into" meeting George Washington) that had kids giggling and adults laughing for completely different reasons. In the actual movie, sly double entendres like this aren't common, but there's still one type of humor aimed at kids and another aimed at the kids at heart in the audience.

"Mr. Peabody & Sherman" is a full-length extension of the "Peabody's Improbable History" shorts co-created by Jay Ward to pad out Rocky & Bullwinkle episodes. The last couple decades saw a slew of movies based on Jay Ward's creations. They were all occasionally funny but ultimately failures. So what makes "Mr. Peabody & Sherman" such an unmitigated success? First of all, it's completely CGI,allowing it to stay true to its cartoon roots while simultaneously giving it a more modern feel. It also broadens the humor of the original and adds emotional undertones to the story.

Mr. Peabody is an almost flawless character, a genius scientist, inventor, adventurer, and exceptional host. (If you ever nab Mr. Peabody for one of your cocktail parties, be sure to have him mix up his specialty drink, the "Einstein on the Beach".) His skills seem limitless. But when Peabody discovers Sherman as an abandoned baby and legally adopts him, he finds out it's his parenting skills that still need work. Peabody creates the time-traveling WABAC machine as a teaching aid for Sherman.

On his first day of public school, Sherman is naturally eager to show off his first-hand knowledge of history, making him very popular with some of his classmates, while earning him the ire of queen bee Penny Peterson. Soon a fight breaks out, bringing a dog's rights to legally raise a human child into question. (There are obvious socio- political metaphors that can be read into this, but I'd advise you to not go digging too deeply into a kid's movie, so you don't miss something wonderful going on at the surface.)

To smooth things over, Peabody invites the Petersons over for dinner. One thing leads to another, and faster than you can say "Don't show her the WABAC", Penny's ditched Sherman somewhere in history, and it's up to Peabody and Sherman to travel through time and space to fetch her.

Penny, a new character invented for the movie, adds a great new dynamic to the classic duo's time travels. She starts out comically self- centered, but soon she and Sherman develop their first crush on each other. Sherman's humility and compassion rub off on Penny, even as Penny's boldness and adventurousness rub off on Sherman. It makes for a satisfying character arc for Penny, a coming-of-age story for Sherman, and an opportunity for Peabody to come to terms with his boy reaching that age when he's more interested in spending time with girls than with his old man—er, dog.

The main relationship of the movie, though, is between the title characters. The story is littered with some surprisingly poignant father-son moments, and I found myself tearing up several times. But director Rob Minkoff strikes a perfect balance. Whenever the movie seems to be getting too maudlin, there's another great joke just around the corner.

As expected with any Bullwinkle-related project, the movie's packed with plenty of groan-worthy puns. For example, Peabody takes Sherman to meet Marie Antoinette, only to quip, "You can't have your cake and edict, too." In a nod to how much humor has changed since the late 50's, Sherman invariably responds, "I don't get it." For kids in the audience, Sherman is quick to point out that "King Tut" rhymes with "butt" and that you can't say "booby trap" without saying "booby." For adults in the audience, there's Peabody's puns, as well as some more clever wordplay. Also, recent pop culture informs both the film's humor and its kinetic action sequences. There's an homage to Zack Snyder's "300" that I suspect is better than anything in "300: Rise of an Empire", which was playing in the theater next door.

Ty Burrell does an appropriately brilliant job voicing Mr. Peabody, speaking with well enunciated syllables for as posh and intellectual of a cadence he can manage without slipping into a British accent, while adding a warmth that radiates through every line. Max Charles' and Ariel Winter's naturally youthful voices keep them believable as Sherman and Penny. Stephen Colbert and Leslie Mann are both great as Penny's parents. Perhaps the film's only misstep is criminally under-using them. Patrick Warburton is hilarious as usual, with the movie's version of Agamemnon playing to his strengths as a likable meat-head.

"Mr. Peabody & Sherman" is an amazing family movie. Don't have a family? A couple of the friends I went to see the movie with had their kids in tow, but I probably would have enjoyed it just as much if they weren't there. Not familiar with the source material? My memories of "Peabody's Improbable History" were vague at best. This reboot makes a great new introduction to the characters. It tugs at the heartstrings and tickles the funny bone. I just hope there are still plenty of adventures to come for this dog and his boy, and their new gal pal. Or, as Mr. Peabody would say, I hope they prove quite "paw-pular."

BioShock Infinite (2013 Video Game)

Well Worth the Wait

[10/10 · 7 April 2013]

BioShock Infinite is a BioShock game through-and-through. While the totally new setting, characters, and storyline allow new players to jump in, fans of the BioShock series will immediately feel right at home. The game starts at a lighthouse. Right away, players can look around for currency (Silver Eagles replacing Ryan Dollars) and food, as well as clues to the situation the player character, private eye Booker DeWitt, has found himself in and the situation he's about to be launched into. Launched by rocket instead of bathysphere, and in the opposite direction from Rapture.

Once again, Irrational Games has excellently crafted a unique world. While Rapture was a piece of Art Deco, Columbia is a Norman Rockwell painting come to life. In the same way that Bioshock held a magnifying glass to Ayn Rand's Objectivism, Infinite looks at jingoism and religious extremism, but this shouldn't alienate anyone. It's made clear early on the United States has disowned Columbia for its extremism, and the religion practiced by Columbia's citizens is satirical but decently removed from anything practiced in the real world.

The game allows players to explore and try out a couple new Vigors (the new version of Plasmids) and weapons in a friendly carnival setting before things turn dark and enemies start to attack. Combat is similar to previous games but tweaked. The new mêlée weapon, the Sky-Hook, is an improvement over the wrench or the drill, allowing the player to execute an enemy low on health by breaking their neck or decapitating them, and can also be used to navigate Sky-Lines, adding a vertical element to the game's environment, allowing the player to quickly escape from danger, and opening up some new combat possibilities. The new vigors are a blast to use, some resembling traditional plasmids with new twists. For example, the Possession vigor replaces both the Hypnotize plasmid and the hacking mini-games from earlier games. Different vigors consume different units of salt (the new EVE), meaning more powerful vigors like Possession allow fewer uses than more practical vigors like Shock Jockey (the new stand-in for the old stand-by Electro-Bolt) before Booker must go in search of more salts. Also, there are no longer hypos that can be carried around and used at will to increase health or salts. Items must be found and consumed or purchased as needed, and players need to be careful about what they eat or drink, since trade-offs between health and salts are common.

There is no equivalent to the Big Daddies and Little Sisters of the original BioShock. Instead of Big Daddies, Infinite offers a wider variety of enemy types. Instead of ADAM, Silver Eagles are the only currency in Columbia, meaning the player must budget to be able to afford health, ammo, and salts, as well as upgrades to the different weapon types and to the vigors. Wearable gear replaces tonics and is able to be swapped from an options menu rather than at selected Gene Banks. Instead of a choice between harvesting or rescuing Little Sisters, the game presents a few more nuanced decisions, and the Xbox360 version makes good use of the left and right triggers during these sequences, so you don't need to worry about accidentally hitting the wrong button to make your choice, like I once did in BioShock 2.

Since Columbia is still a thriving community when you arrive, it doesn't have the same feeling of every little area yielding its secrets the way Rapture did. But the world is still interesting enough to make exploring worthwhile, even though creepy moments are fewer and farther in between than previously. Characters learned about through Audio Logs may not be as memorable as those in previous games, but the characters actually encountered are all excellent. Oliver Vaquer and Jennifer Hale do a great job as the comic relief characters, bizarre enough to be hilarious and somehow creepy at the same time. Troy Baker gives a real hard-boiled feel to Booker, a man of few words who is only chatty compared to the two previous games' silent protagonists. Kimberly Brooks' resistance leader, Daisy Fitzroy, contrasts the ultra-nationalists of the game and does a good job of showing extremists on the other side of the social spectrum aren't necessarily a lesser evil.

But the most fascinating character is Booker's companion, Elizabeth (Courtnee Draper). Her expressions are incredible, and while she'll appeal to the same protective instinct those who chose to rescue the Little Sisters experienced, she never needs to be escorted. She stays in cover during combat, tosses helpful power-ups occasionally during fights, currency during quieter moments, and is able to bring items from other dimensions to add another tactical element to battles. Those who couldn't get into previous games because of their claustrophobic nature will find the battles in Infinite hard to resists, facing large hordes of foes in open arenas. Losing a fight still has the same slap-on-the- wrist consequences, sapping away some hard earned cash and not restoring full health and salts, but re-spawning you in a safe spot never too far from the action, though enemies now receive health boosts themselves.

Music is another great element. Not only does Garry Schyman deliver another great score that creates a similar feel to the previous two games, but the selection of licensed music is as good as ever. Thanks to the inter-dimensional component of the game, the soundtrack consists not only of period music, but ragtime and blues covers of some of the greatest hits of the 80's.

While the ending of the game isn't as universally reviled as that of Mass Effect 3, it's not spoiling anything to say I preferred the original BioShock's ending. Also, there is only one outcome. Decisions made earlier in the game have immediate consequences in the storyline rather than resulting in alternate endings. That said, the journey is well-worth the destination.

Tomb Raider (2013 Video Game)

Reboot Successful

[10/10 · 19 March 2013]

"Dark and gritty reboot" is a hot buzz term right now. When it works, you end up with something like Daniel Craig as James Bond or Christopher Nolan's Dark Knight trilogy. When it doesn't, you get lackluster remakes of better classics. The new "Tomb Raider" is the video game equivalent of one of the former. This applies to more than just character and story. In the same way you think James Bond will never quip again at the start of "Casino Royale" or it takes Bruce Wayne an hour to dawn the batsuit in "Batman Begins", this reboot is almost unrecognizable as a Tomb Raider game at first, but eventually turns out to be exactly what the franchise needed to feel contemporary and relevant.

Reintroduced as human rather than iconic, clad in a practical pair of cargo pants instead of short shorts, Lara is a meek research assistant for a conceited reality TV archaeologist. Part of a crew including her mentor Captain Roth and her best friend Samantha, Lara barely gets up the nerve to offer her opinion on how to find a mythical island. Her advice leaves her team shipwrecked on the island they were searching for.

Tomb Raider games have usually consisted mainly of elaborate jumping puzzles and platforming sequences. While Lara's still able to jump and climb better than most to traverse the island, with platforming becoming more prevalent in the later stages of the game, gameplay places more emphasis on exploration and combat. While many will find parallels with the Uncharted games, which owe much of their inspiration to the Tomb Raider series, I found a lot in common with the Batman Arkham games. While not truly open world, with transitions between areas being accessed and blocked off through cut scenes, the island consists of several large hub areas, connected by fast travel camps that allow Lara to teleport from one campfire to another. While the plot itself is pretty linear, there are several side missions available in each area, including collecting relics (which Lara can examine L.A. Noire style) and GPS caches, hunting game for XP, and exploring various tombs. Some areas are blocked off while Lara collects and upgrades gear.

Lara's methods are far more lethal than Batman's. While the game has been advertised as turning Lara into a survivor, keeping her sheltered from the elements and hunting to keep from starving only play a role in the earliest missions. Soon, it turns from Lara surviving the elements to a more combat based type of survival. An army formed from other shipwreck victims controls the island. Lara starts with a torch and a bow and arrow, but can eventually collect and upgrade other weapons. Her arsenal's small but effective: one pistol, one shotgun, and one machine gun. While I never found much motivation to switch from the default weapon in previous games in the series, each of these has its advantages at different ranges, though the bow remains Lara's most reliable weapon, allowing Lara to pick off enemies with headshots, silently and from a distance. Lara also has access to a climbing axe, allowing her to pull off close-range stealth kills and melee attacks.

The most engaging part of this reboot is Lara Croft's character arc, taking Lara from trembling in terror and crying at each kill to the point she is hyper-confident and enemies are terrified of her. Reading about the transition from shipwreck victim to tomb raider is one thing. Experiencing it is another. This is partially thanks to a great voice acting/motion capture performance from Camilla Luddington (if you don't like her voice for Lara at first, wait until you hear her analysis of a tomb or an artifact), and partially to the gameplay itself. As more XP and salvage (in-game currency) is collected and Lara's skills and equipment are upgraded, the player feels more confident navigating the environment and battling heavily-armed foes. While failure can result in some pretty brutal death scenes for Lara, she can gain the ability to pull off some satisfyingly brutal finishes herself. Supporting characters are also well done, with back stories and motivations explored through both cut scenes and documents scattered throughout the island, rather than caricatures or plot devices as in previous games.

The highlights of the game, for me, were the optional side quests in which Lara gets to actually do some tomb raiding. The player makes their way to the center of a tomb, solves a puzzle, collects the treasure, and gets out. These are the moments that feel the most like classic Tomb Raider games.

With heavier emphasis placed on combat than platforming, the multiplayer component seems more appropriate now. Players chose an avatar for each faction, Lara's friends and the island's crueler inhabitants, and alternate sides between rounds of shooting. Refreshingly, players can do almost anything they can in single player in multiplayer, include climbing and jumping across the maps, detonating explosives, avoiding traps, and making stealth kills with the climbing axe. While not as good as many other multiplayer modes out there, it's a decent chunk of extra content.

With excellent graphics and some great set pieces that feel lifted right out of a modern action movie, complete with explosions and flying debris, this reboot is a totally new Tomb Raider with a great new direction for the series. I can't recommend it enough. Long time Lara Croft fans will find new things to love about the character, and newcomers have a perfect jumping-on point here.

A Good Day to Die Hard (2013)

This Ain't Shakespeare, Pal

[8/10 · 17 February 2013]

Bruce Willis cracks wise. Cars crash. Bullets fly. Things explode spectacularly. If this is what you're expecting from "A Good Day to Die Hard", you won't be disappointed.

It should go without saying that the Die Hard movies aren't exactly Shakespeare. While the first in the series revolutionized the action genre, the title has become a brand name that fans trust, and audiences have a fair idea what to expect with each new entry. Most Bruce Willis movies are carried by the star's charisma and likability, and unlucky NYPD detective John McClane is his quintessential role. While the first two movies were based on separate novels, the third was a finished script tweaked to include the McClane character, and the fourth was a dramatization of an article on cyberterrorism, Skip Woods' script may be the first written intentionally around the hero of the franchise. Not only does it have some nice nods to the previous films, but it hits all the major bullet points of the formula. As always, McClane finds himself in the most dangerous situations when he's off duty ("I'm supposed to be on vacation!" he growls several times when he's held at gunpoint). He gets out of desperate situations by improvising dangerous feats that would make James Bond think twice. Only to begin chastising himself, out loud for the audience's benefit, after he's already taken the plunge and realized what a stupid idea it was.

Unfortunately, the movie lacks a strong villain for McClane to play cat and mouse with. Previous movies had Alan Rickman, Jeremy Irons, and Timothy Olyphant chewing the scenery in that capacity. This time, evil is mainly personified by the forgettable Radivoje Bukvic, but, like William Sadler in "Die Hard 2: Die Harder", he's not as important as the series of plot twists and turns slowly revealing a greater evil at play. Only brief moments of exposition break up the set pieces here, starting with a lengthy car chase, one of the best I've seen in a long time, during which everything you'd want to have happen in a chase scene does. The action moves from the Moscow highway to Chernobyl, packed with exciting pyrotechnics and stunts that look like they'd be fun in real life if it weren't for the fact that they'd maim anyone who hadn't already thwarted major terrorist plots four times before.

This time, McClane learns his estranged son, John "Jack" McClane Jr., is about to stand trial in Moscow. Wanting to reconcile before Jack's thrown in prison, John Sr. makes it to the courtroom right as his son escapes, along with another prisoner awaiting trial (Sebastian Koch).

Mary Elizabeth Winstead returns as John's daughter Lucy. While she doesn't get to see any of the action this time around, she's still great in the role and it's nice to see some continuity with the previous movie from six years ago. Jai Courtney, for his part, does a good job playing McClane's son, sharing his dad's short temper and penchant for yelling at himself when he makes a mistake. But the real stand out is Yuliya Snigir as Irina, the beautiful daughter of Jack's fellow escapee. Big eyed, pouty lipped, and leather clad, Yuliya Snigir is seriously gorgeous and commands more screen presence than any of the other newcomers to the series.

My only real complaint is that the movie ends too quickly. After the story's best plot twist, when the movie seems to be picking up real momentum, the movie reaches its finale at around the length the other Die Hard movies were just gearing up for their third act. The "Yippee- Ki-Yay" catchphrase is thrown in there, and it feels a little too obligatory.

To recap, Bruce Willis does what Bruce Willis does best, the stunts and explosions are thrilling and come non-stop, the script includes some truly surprising twists, and Yuliya Snigir's mouthful of a name is about to become a household one. While "A Good Day to Die Hard" is far from the best in the series, it sure beats most of the alternatives playing in theaters this February.

Gangster Squad (2013)

An Awesome, Bloody Action Flick With All the Trappings of a Classic Film Noir

[9/10 · 13 January 2013]

Okay, I'm a bit biased. I'm partial to movies featuring trench coats, fedoras, tough-talking cops, smooth-talking dames, and blazing Tommy guns. "Gangster Squad" is the type of movie I go to the movies hoping to see every year, my typical fantasies transferred directly to the big screen.

Recent attempts at the genre, like Frank Miller's misguided "The Spirit" and Brian De Palma's overwrought "The Black Dahlia", have been hit-and- miss. But "Gangster Squad" hits the mark, having more in common with De Palma's 1987 classic "The Untouchables." The premise alone bears an uncanny resemblance. Set in 1940's L.A. instead of 1920's Chicago, the movie follows an incorruptible cop hand-picking a team of honest cops to take down a notorious gangster, this time Mickey Cohen instead of Al Capone. But while "The Untouchables" required a great cast to carry Kevin Costner as its lead, Josh Brolin's acting chops are more similar to Sean Connery's. Brolin plays Sergeant John O'Mara, a grizzled hero whose unwillingness to stay out of Mickey Cohen's way makes waves for his superiors, but Chief Bill Parker (a surprisingly dignified performance by Nick Nolte) recruits him to head a task force with the mission of undermining Cohen's rule.

O'Mara contrasts sharply with younger, go-with-the-flow Sgt. Wooters (Ryan Gosling), who is content to spend his nights gambling, drinking, and picking up dames at Cohen's favorite nightclub, but soon finds himself joining the team. O'Mara recruits switchblade-wielding beat cop Anthony Mackie, old-timey wild-westerner Robert Patrick (complete with six-shooter and Yosemite Sam mustache), and tech whiz Giovanni Ribisi to round out the team, with Robert Patrick's Hispanic partner Michael Pena joining the party without being formally invited.

While "The Untouchables" boasted method actor Robert DeNiro as Al Capone, it was hard to forget he was Robert DeNiro. By comparison, Sean Penn disappears completely into the role of infamous boxer-turned- mobster Mickey Cohen. He's truly terrifying from the moment, barely past the studio logos, we see what he does to those who oppose or fail him.

Emma Stone, needless to say, is pretty as a pin-up as the dame, Cohen's main squeeze with red hair and redder lips. But she's not the movie's only eye candy. There's plenty of gorgeous cinematography of Los Angeles landmarks and glossy recreations of 40's nightclubs and casinos. And, as much as I want to dislike Ryan Gosling, he's great as the youthful detective whose love affair with Stone's character forms a large part of the narrative. But it's ultimately Brolin's straight- laced detective and family man who carries the movie, from the moment he punches his way into a mob-controlled hotel to save a blonde bombshell from being initiated into a brothel in his introductory scene.

While "Gangster Squad" has all the trademarks of the film noir genre, that's just the outward veneer of an all-out action flick, more in the vein of "The Untouchables" or "Dick Tracy" than "The Maltese Falcon", with fist fights, shootouts, and a car chase (with beautiful vintage 40's vehicle, naturally) that are as bloody and brutal as anything else in movies right now. While the movie may include a few clichés too many, or Ruben Fleischer (who directed Emma Stone in "Zombieland") may rely a few times too many on modern film tricks like slow motion and dizzying camera angles, "Gangster Squad" is the best entry in the genre in decades.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012)

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Disappointment

[1/10 · 17 December 2012]

About a decade ago, Peter Jackson concluded his film adaptation of J. R. R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings trilogy and swept the awards with "The Return of the King". Since then, Jackson has only had a couple of directing gigs, including his lackluster remake of the classic "King Kong." And only one piece of the LOTR saga remains for him to tap into. Tolkien's novel "The Hobbit" isn't just a prequel chronologically. Tolkien actually wrote and published it almost twenty years before what would be considered the first book of the LOTR trilogy. While the books in the trilogy were epic fantasies that dug deep into the lore, the prequel was a light-hearted romp, a first footstep into a Middle Earth still taking shape in Tolkien's imagination. It was also a short romp, only a fraction of the length of any of the sequels. So, while fans clamored for the Extended Cuts of Jackson's original trilogy a decade ago, eating up the scenes that couldn't make it into the three-hour theatrical cuts, there's not much excuse to turn "The Hobbit" into a trilogy of its own.

The movie starts by bridging the gap between "The Hobbit" and LOTR by reintroducing Ian Holm as Bilbo Baggins. Bilbo says he will now tell the story of his greatest adventure, and then spends several minutes relating the entire history of the dwarfs to the audience before finally picking up where Tolkien chose to start, "In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit." (Since the book was in third-person, and the movie adds a first-person narrator, the line now seems a little pretentious.) And then, instead of diving into the story, Elijah Wood wastes a few minutes of screen time with a completely unnecessary cameo as Frodo. Only then do we finally get to meet the young Bilbo, played by Martin Freeman, and reunite with Gandalf, played again by Ian McKellan.

Martin Freeman has a talent for being the everyday man who is always agitated by everyone around him, from Arthur Dent in "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" to Watson in "Sherlock." And playing homebody Bilbo gives him a great opportunity to roll his eyes and look perplexed by the 12-dwarf army he finds himself surrounded by. We meet each dwarf as they barge, one at a time, through Bilbo's front door, and then insist on singing an uninspired musical number for about two minutes as they wash Bilbo's dishes. When it's not dwarfs, it's the McKellen, Hugo Weaving, Cate Blanchett, or Christopher Lee characters from Jacksons' earlier trilogy pushing Freeman's Hobbit to the background. Instead of showing the same reverence to the source material that made Jackson's earlier trilogy so successful, here he ignores Tolkien's main plot and instead pads the movie with a subplot involving Radagast the Brown, a character taken from elsewhere in Tolkien's writings who has no place in "The Hobbit", and a Necromancer, and another one involving an albino orc pursuing the dwarf leader, in order to give the new trilogy a central antagonist. Where the novel was all about Bilbo's surprising resourcefulness, more emphasis is placed on sword and axe clashes between the dwarfs and the orcs.

Also, most of the light-heartedness of the novel has been leached out in favor of making the movie feel more like an extension of the original trilogy. While the movie is brighter and more colorful then the previous films, this just has the surprising effect of making the movie feel like one of those sequels the original director palmed off to someone else after he lost interest in the franchise, even though Jackson is still at the helm. There are some weak attempts at humor, but rather than Tolkien's wit, the biggest laughs come from unintentional comedy from the terrible acting and writing (disappointing, since one of the co-writers this time is Guillermo del Toro, who's better than this) behind lines like "After sickness, bad things happen" or "If there's a key, there's a door."

Like the previous trilogy, most of the visuals are a cross between New Zealand landscapes and CGI special effects. Peter Jackson makes the same mistake he did with "King Kong", assuming the computer-heavy effects are as impressive now as they were the first time we saw them in LOTR. Even the rain is disappointingly animated, noticeably leaving all of the actor's faces completely dry. A scene involving the dwarfs running in single-file and decapitating goblins feels dull and hollow. There is one scene worth raving about, a riddle contest between Bilbo and Gollum in a dark pit. Not only does Andy Serkis, through voice work and motion capture, remind us that he should have won an Academy Award for the role he's still great at, but the scene finally gives Martin Freeman a moment to shine. Considering they decided to tell the story through Bilbo's perspective, it's surprising that this is the one scene that really gives the title character a central role.

At the risk of sounding like one of those snobs who always complains that the book is better, in the time it will take to watch what is sure to be a 9-hour trilogy, you could probably read Tolkien's entire book, and be much more entertained doing so.

Skyfall (2012)

The Best Bond Film Since "Goldfinger"

[10/10 · 11 November 2012]

The year 2012 marks the 50th Anniversary of "Dr. No", the movie that kicked off the James Bond film franchise. It was a relatively low-key spy thriller compared to what was to come. 40 years later, most fans would agree, the gadgets, stunts, and special effects of "Die Another Day" had become so over the top that it seemed like the series was starting to parody itself.

"Casino Royale" ditched the clichés and started from scratch, introducing Daniel Craig as a young James Bond just licensed to kill. The movie took a fresh, character-based approach to the series. This approach is continued in Daniel Craig's third and best take on the character, "Skyfall." Just as Sean Connery and Roger Moore (arguably) hit their strides with their third Bond movies ("Goldfinger" and "The Spy Who Loved Me", respectively), Daniel Craig now seems to be settling comfortably into the role.

While Daniel Craig still gives Bond the rough-around-the-edges qualities that distinguish his take on the role, he picks the right moments to channel the actors that have played the role before him. He's still able to show angst in the movie's dramatic moments, he also has that wry half-smile while taking out enemies and that satisfied smirk while seducing beautiful women that Sean Connery had, and he's finally comfortable enough to toss out a few one-liners worthy of Roger Moore. Though his delivery is so wonderfully dry that you almost don't realize they're puns.

The movie starts with an opening sequences worthy of the tradition, an action-packed chase scene involving guns, Range Rovers, motorcycles, and speeding trains through Turkey. This climaxes in Bond's supposed death when his backup sniper accidentally hits him, knocking him off the tracks into the water below. After the main titles (one of the most bizarre credit sequences in Bond history, but also one of the most effective) it turns out Bond is taking advantage of being presumed dead to try and get out of the spy game. Until he learns someone is targeting the organization he worked for.

Javier Bardem's villain, a flamboyant bleach blonde, is probably the most memorable since the classic days of Auric Goldfinger and Dr. No. He's introduced with one of the best evil monologues ever, and every scene he's in after that is totally chilling. Berenice Lem Marlohe and Naomie Harris are this movie's Bond girls, and while Marlohe's Severine is one of the most stunning Bond girls in ages and Harris' Eve is one of Bond's savviest sidekicks, their roles are both inconsequential compared to the true female lead. That would be Judi Dench as M. While the relationship between Bond and his superior has been explored more in Daniel Craig's Bond movies than ever before, here it's pushed front and center, forming the movie's emotional core, driving most of the plot, and making M a major player rather than just a character to provide exposition, showcasing Dench's talents as an actress.

Sam Mendes manages to keep a personal, dramatic atmosphere through the entire movie, but still work in jaw-dropping action sequences. Unlike "Quantum of Solace", they're thankfully filmed in a steadier, more traditional manner. The movie's also very well paced: despite being one of the longest entries in the series, the action moves briskly and the story never drags. And Mendes and the rest of the "Skyfall" crew manage to avoid the clichés while still including Bond's trademarks. There's a new Q, in the form of the young Ben Whishaw. In a fresh new take on the character, when Bond seems disappointed by how practical the gadgets are, the young tech whiz responds, "Expecting exploding pens? We don't really go in for that sort of thing anymore." The gadgets bring to mind the earliest Bond movies, where it came as a surprise when Bond was able to use his equipment, unlike later movies, in which the situations that called for the gadgets were so specific you could make a checklist of them in Q's scene and then check them off as Bond used them. There are one or two other familiar characters that pop up as well, in ways that manage to feel both classic and fresh. And Ralph Fiennes brings charisma and gravitas to his role as M's new handler.

"Skyfall" is definitely a Bond movie for modern times. It's the first time a character (Judi Dench, no less) drops an "F-bomb" and the first time a bad guy actually makes a pass at 007.

Like the 40th Anniversary, "Skyfall" is filled with references to what's come before. Unlike "Die Another Day", where the plot line seemed like a flimsy excuse to hang inside jokes on, in "Skyfall" the references are much more sly and subtle, and the story's actually sharp enough to support them, so long-time fans can smile while there's still plenty for newcomers to enjoy, even as the throwbacks go over their heads.

There are a few missteps. After all, what Bond movie's been perfect since the Connery days? After some awesome action scenes, the climax seems to be taking a page from a totally different play book, and some of the characters' motivations and actions don't hold up to scrutiny. But overall, the mix of drama, action, and humor make "Skyfall" one of the best Bond movies of the entire series. It skillfully ushers in what's sure to be another new beginning for the series, and, back in fine form, I'm excited that "James Bond will return."

Dead or Alive 5 (2012 Video Game)

Kasumi, Kokoro, Leifang, Helena, and the Rest of the Girls Are Back . . . And They're Not Here to Play Volleyball

[10/10 · 9 October 2012]

You can't blame a fighting game franchise for playing to its fans. Where the Mortal Kombat series delivers blood and gore, the Dead or Alive series serves T & A. While winning a match in Mortal Kombat rewards you with a chance to perform a fatality, the DOA games reward you by allowing you to control the camera, panning and zooming wherever you want on your character's victory pose. In fact, you're similarly rewarded for losing a fight in the single player mode of DOA 5, operating the camera as your character lies in agony, heavily panting, with no time limit to prevent you from continuing the fight in your own time.

To be fair, for those not interested in the cheesecake, DOA 5 offers an almost equal serving of beefcake. For almost every doe-eyed dame with a killer body, there's a male fighter with muscle mass that would make most movie stars jealous. Case in point, the two new additions to the game's roster. Mila, a spunky redhead with a heart of gold, is introduced alongside Rig, a blue-collar lughead with a secret past. They join almost every returning favorite from previous games, from Kasumi and Hayabusa to Kokoro (my personal fav) and Brad Wong. And with plenty of alternate costumes for each character, a less revealing outfit is always an option. The difference between fan service and pandering is in the eye of the beholder, but beneath the surface layer of eye candy, the DOA series has always been about great gameplay mechanics. And while the fun volleyball mechanics may be a flimsy excuse for enjoying the Xtreme series of spin-off games, DOA 5's combat makes it the best return to form for a fighting games series since last year's Mortal Kombat reboot.

For the uninitiated, DOA 5's fighting mechanics are based on a counter- heavy system. While it's no problem for a button masher to punch-kick combo through fights, nothing's more rewarding than catching another fighter's strike and tossing your opponent to the ground, or grabbing your rival at exactly the right opportunity to launch them into one of the series' trademark Danger Zones. New additions to the gameplay include the Critical Burst, which turns your enemy into a total punching bag when activated at the right moment, the Power Blow, which allows you to charge into your rival and target a highlighted Danger Zone in the background, triggering some of the game's cooler animations. There's also a Cliffhanger, which allows you to strike an opponent caught on a ledge and unleash a free fall combo as you travel through a stage's multiple tiers.

Upon starting, I was immediately taken with how beautiful DOA 5 looks, and I'm not just talking about the leading ladies. Fighters gleam with sweat and dirt accumulates on them as they are thrown to the ground during a fight, an alternative to using the "battle damage" of other fighting games to portray fight progression. Even the backgrounds are filled with details and effects, such as the flames leaping from totaled cars in a street scene. The characters themselves have all had massive makeovers, giving them more detailed and realistic appearances. Something similar was attempted in Soul Calbur 4, where the faces became softer and less cartoonish, but while that game ended up with generic looking characters, the DOA 5 characters all retain their distinct appearances and personalities. Bayman's new scar tells volumes about his character, while Christie's gentler face makes her a more disarming killer. Animations for the character's fighting moves are smoother now, too, and each portray a dramatically different fighting style, from Helena's graceful chops and kicks to Bayman's lumbering grapples.

The new fighting arenas do not disappoint. Among the best are "The Show", which puts you in front of a massive three-ring circus crowd while you and your nemesis avoid being trampled by tigers or turned into the human cannonball, "Hotzone", which looks like it's straight out of a Call of Duty game, complete with missiles that lock in on fallen fighters, and "The Ends of the Earth", an arena in Antarctica where ice crystals replace mud and penguins provide an audience.

I liked the game's story mode, though your feeling about the plot may correspond with your feelings about the much-maligned DOA movie. It's cheesy, but it makes sense for a fighting game. The obligatory tournament is there, with the game's less intense characters being completely focused on championing it, but there's a more sinister plot in the background, focusing on Helena's attempt to reform DOATEC and the shady deeds still being done by former members of the organization. Although the lead-ins to fights are a bit forced (a duel between mortal enemies and a sparring session between friends both have equal chance of ending with a helicopter being downed by a fighter being thrown into it), there's enough character moments and plot twists that I couldn't stop playing through the last several hours, even as the fights became repetitive. I also thought the voice actors for the English dub did a great job, for the most part, with the VA's behind Helena and Christie standing out (less than authentic accents aside).

Other modes include the standard variations on the arcade ladder, training, and several options for online fights. But the real star of the game is the offline versus mode, because nothing beats beating the tar out of a friend sitting next to you on the couch, without static getting in the way of your trash talking.

Lupin the Third: The Woman Called Fujiko Mine (2012)

A Darker, Edgier Reboot That Works

[10/10 · 1 May 2012]

I'll start this review with a confession: I'm not generally a big anime buff. Sure, I appreciate the good stuff when I see it. But there's rarely one I go out of my way to catch.

The Lupin III franchise has totally won me over, which is why I'm surprised that, while the character has enjoyed a popularity in Japan over nearly fifty years that rivals that of James Bond elsewhere, it's barely received a cult following in the States, where series like Pokemon and Dragon Ball have become a part of mainstream culture. The five main characters of the series have been resurrected countless times for comics, series, movies, and specials, the two most well known internationally being the second, or red jacket, series, which has a certain zany Saturday morning cartoon charm, and Hayao Miyazaki's "The Castle of Cagliostro", an action-packed but largely G-rated romp.

There's nothing Saturday morning or G-rated about the character's newest revival, but it's the best thing to happen to the franchise in decades. Similar to what's happened with Batman and Bond, the new Lupin is a darker, edgier revival that takes the character back to his origins and takes a character based,adult approach to the material. The focal character of the series isn't Lupin, but is now Fujiko Mine, a popular character (maybe even my favorite) who had been shrunken to a supporting role in movies and specials. Sayo Yamamoto is the first female director to touch the Lupin series, and it seems all Lupin needed was a woman's touch.

The opening animation alone, almost filled with enough nudity to make series creator Monkey Punch blush, makes it clear this one isn't for the kids. Dubbed "New Wuthering Heights", the opening first struck me as a little too artsy and pretentious for a franchise that's usually opened with a swinging jazz melody, but the more episodes I've watched, the more appropriate the more heady opening seems. While,much like the original manga, the new anime doesn't shy away from nudity, there are plenty of anime where more fully clothed women provide more exploitative "fan service" than here. The nudity is more to service the character than the fans, and there were moments when watching Fujiko get undressed actually made me uncomfortable because I realized she was using her body as a weapon.

In the original comics, Fujiko Mine never really had a consistent personality, or even look, but was more a name Monkey Punch kept attaching to the women that crossed Lupin's path. While the character became slightly more developed over years of anime, she's never been portrayed so complexly as here. But Fujiko still isn't so much the heroine as a new lens to observe familiar characters through.

The first episode introduces what should be the series' central relationship, portraying the first meeting of Lupin and Fujiko as rivals chasing the same loot. The new Lupin combines the best features of the old, from the manga through the various anime series, wearing the green jacket from his first series and "Cagliostro", and remaining a goofball with a flair for the dramatic. He's still cartoonish, but there's a more realistic, drawn edge to him. Rather than just drool over Fujiko, Lupin realizes she's a dangerous enemy and is quick to point out the key difference between them. While Lupin's outrageous plots avoid harming innocents (something Lupin retains from the anime, as the manga Lupin was more sadistic), Fujiko is willing to kill or take advantage of anyone to prove her worth.

The second and third episodes surprisingly ditch Lupin altogether. Instead, they use Fujiko as a means to introduce the series' other classic characters. In the second episode, she meets Daisuke Jigen, and in the third, Goemon Ishikawa. Like Lupin, they're the best possible conglomeration of character traits developed over the years, resembling the characters from the original comics more than the goofier anime versions, but still the same beloved characters. Jigen is as cool as ever, with an episode exploring his relationship with women and why he's so attached to his favorite firearm. Goemon's episode is a surprise stand-out, as I would have never thought the character was capable of carrying an episode. While even the best Lupin series have had some of their lousiest episode focused on Goemon, this new version manages to keep all of the traits that have worked about the character for years, and ditch the ones that never quite did.

One of the more interesting character reboots is of Inspector Zenigata, Lupin's oldest rival. Portrayed as a bumbling cop in many of the previous anime, this newer, more hard-boiled Zenigata has a tryst with Fujiko in his office (portrayed in the Monkey Punch-approved method of throbbing zodiac symbols) and doesn't seem overly concerned with taking Lupin alive. It becomes clear his family and Lupin's family have a history. Zenigata's now willing to do whatever it takes to end the Lupin bloodline, including spilling it. (He's also been given an extremely effeminate subordinate named Oscar, who's more than a little jealous of Fujiko).

Lupin's antics are as zany as ever, and his cat-and-mouse chase with Zenigata, while deadlier, is still hilarious. While Lupin obviously gets much less screen time than in previous series, this is definitely my favorite portrayal of his character so far. The series is helped by an art style unlike anything I've seen in other anime or western animation, with a hand-drawn look that's a retro throwback to the manga with a more modern intensity. The animation is smooth, with even some of the wackier character movements seeming fluid and natural. And, while I miss the Yuji Ohno score that's been the essence of Lupin for years, the new composers provide an appropriate substitute that shifts between jazzy and dramatic.

The bottom line is that, anime buff or not, "Lupin the Third: The Woman Called Fujiko Mine" is worth a look.

Catherine (2011 Video Game)

"Catherine" the Great

[10/10 · 10 January 2012]

If I had to pick one word to describe "Catherine", it would be "intelligent." True, there are other games I'd describe this way, but "Catherine" swaps typical shooting or brawling for puzzle-based gaming. It's a smart game that makes you feel smarter for playing it. And while there's a mature and (for the most part) smartly-written story and some fine-looking cutscenes and graphics, your enjoyment of the game will probably be determined directly by how addictive you find the puzzle mechanics.

Framed as an episode of a late-night cable show, hosted by the enigmatic "Midnight Venus", the game, after an interesting (though long-winded) intro, throws players straight into the action. Vincent Brooks, the main character, is having a nightmare in which he must manipulate blocks in order to ascend a rapidly-crumbling tower. When he awakens, Vincent's life is complicated when his long-time girlfriend Katherine starts dropping some not-so-subtle hints that it might be time for the commitment phobic Vincent to buy her a ring, and when he hears a rumor going around his favorite bar that lousy boyfriends have been having a nightmare similar to his, and that if they fall in their dream, they end up dead on the morning news in real life.

That night at the bar, Vincent's approached by gorgeous Catherine. Unlike brunette Katherine, blonde bombshell Catherine's a free-spirit looking for a good time, and, in a moment of weakness, Vincent shows her one. The story, a mixture of romantic comedy and supernatural horror, is told through a combination of stunning cell-shaded graphics and genuine anime cutscenes. The voice acting for the English dub is top- notch, with voices I recognized from my favorite video games and animated series.

Gameplay takes place mainly in the nightmares, in which you must push and pull blocks to create a path up increasingly tall towers. These puzzles are actually pretty freeform, and different players will be able to improvise completely different paths to the pinnacle of each stage. Different types of blocks are added into the mix as you progress through the game, with various "trap" blocks requiring skill and timing to bypass.

While the puzzles can sometimes be frustrating initially, on subsequent playthroughs you should come to look forward to the challenge of later stages and to find boss "fights" more rewarding. The boss battles, or, more accurately, boss chases, feature monstrous manifestations of Vincent's worries trying to kill him, forcing him to climb more quickly. This creates some of the game's more terrifying sequences, like one where Vincent is being chased by what I think was the "beast with two backs", firing hearts out of its . . . well, you'll just have to see for yourself.

After completing each puzzle, you'll find yourself in a confessional booth where you'll be asked your thoughts on relationships. These questions are randomized each time you play and, along with questions you'll be asked by other characters on the landings between stages, where you're expected to encourage other lambs, and the Stray Sheep, Vincent's bar, as well as text messages you can send Catherine or Katherine, influence the game's nuanced morality system. Instead of pure "good" or "evil", the system is based on which of two viewpoints on relationships you lean more towards, with no consistent indication which choice will lean towards which polarity. Unfortunately, while these choices effect the NPC's around you, Vincent's story path will be the same for every player. Vincent's internal monologue at several points will change, and maybe a line of dialogue here and there will be different, but the story makes all the same stops no matter how many sweet texts you send to one girl and nasty texts you send to the other, at least until the game's finale, when your actions throughout the game will ultimately determine your alternate ending.

However, scenes set in the Stray Sheep do a good job of capturing the feeling of relaxing at your favorite pub, allowing you to choose your responses to the texts from the women in Vincent's life, lend a sympathetic ear to the many interesting characters that make up the rest of the bar's regulars, and chat with Vincent's circle of drinking buddies and the bar's proprietor, the Robert Goulet-like "Boss." There's also a jukebox to change the accompanying BGM and an arcade booth to play a faux-retro version of the game. Of course, you can also pick your poison and drink, which not only gives Vincent a boost during the puzzle sequences but, in one of the game's finer touches, will also provide you with some interesting trivia tidbits on the liquor of your choice.

Other clever touches include the quotes from famous writers and philosophers on love and marriage that display during the game's loading screens, or the game's great score. Original jazz compositions provide accompaniment for Stray Sheep sequences, while climbing sequences feature ultra-modern remixes of classical compositions by Beethoven, Bach, and the like.

"Catherine", perhaps fittingly, is more of a commitment than it seems at first. On at least two separate occasions, I put the controller down, thinking I'd finished the game, only to be treated to a long series of cutscenes and then flung back into another puzzle. And while the game's central mystery provides a couple great twists, once the party responsible for Vincent's plight is revealed, the motivations behind the plot seem more than a little convoluted. Also, a final hosting segment after the game's conclusion beats players over the head with the game's themes.

Other gameplay modes include Babel, a more randomized climbing puzzle that can be played single-handedly or cooperatively, and Colliseum, which is meant to be a competitive climbing mode but plays more like a tacked-on Deathmatch. In the end, it's the game's unique puzzles and interesting characters that made me want to play again as soon as I finished.

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows (2011)

A Step Down from Perfection

[9/10 · 28 December 2011]

I spent my childhood watching old Sherlock Holmes movies with my dad and trying to convince the other kids on the playground to pretend to be Dr. Watson so I could play Sherlock. Needless to say, when Guy Ritchie attempted to re-brand Holmes and Watson as action heroes in 2009, a move that caused much gnashing of teeth from others, I went into the theater with high expectations. They were exceeded. I loved everything about that movie, every performance, every shot, every line of dialogue, and every note of Hans Zimmer's score. It was perfect.

The sequel, "Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows" is a pretty good movie, but it can't beat perfection.

What I feared would be missing going in, and what indeed was missing, was the sense of the unknown. Would Sherlock Holmes work as an action movie? It did, and still kind of does, and still was surprisingly faithful to Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's source material. How would Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law do as Holmes and Watson? They were, and still are, the freshest take on the characters since Basil Rathbone and Nigel Bruce. How would Guy Ritchie do helming a big-budget blockbuster? The style from his gritty crime films translated well into the epic scale, though in the sequel there's more style than substance.

But the most crucial surprises came from the plot. It was an original story that created a new enemy for Holmes. Lord Blackwood, played chillingly by Mark Strong, was a crafty adversary who may or may not have had supernatural powers. Here he is replaced by Holmes' most conventional enemy, Professor Moriarty, played by Jared Harris, and his right-hand man, played by Paul Anderson. I won't name him here, because only hardcore fans of Doyle's canon will appreciate it, and for them it would be a spoiler. As the title implies, the focus of the film is a "game" of cat and mouse between Holmes and the Professor. While it's riveting to watch, the lack of a clearly defined mystery like in the previous film makes it harder for the audience to play along.

The main flaws lie with the script. "Game of Shadows" ditches the first film's stable of writers (including Lionel Wigram, who spearheaded production of the previous film and has now been reduced to a producer credit) in favor of Michele and Kieran Mulroney, known for a couple of Indie comedies. While the previous film had some quirky comedy, the new script ratchets it up to sometimes annoying levels. (A pro-longed "breakfast" analogy during a fight sequence is especially groan- inducing.) Also, the movie goes even further into action movie territory than the last effort, favoring chase scenes and explosions over a plot actually worthy of the great detective, with a story that seems made for James Bond rather than Sherlock Holmes. The movie also borrows more generously from Doyle's stories, so while die-hard Sherlock fans will grin at the many references, they'll also probably be able to see what's coming before Holmes and Watson do.

It's obvious Warner Bros. took more interest in the sequel than the prequel. While this means a welcome bigger budget, apparent in more exotic locations and bigger (and more frequent) pyrotechnics, it also means more studio meddling, possibly evident in the heavy recycling of the tricks Guy Ritchie used in the last movie. I'm sure, if left alone, Guy Ritchie could have created a sequel just as fresh and interesting as the prequel. Even Hans Zimmer's score, while still good, consists mainly of recycled cues from his other Sherlock score.

The saving grace is the great cast and their chemistry with each other. Downey Jr. and Law play off each other just as well as last time. Stephen Fry plays Sherlock's older brother Mycroft, another character exported from Doyle's canon. He and Sherlock call each other by the pet names "Mycey" and "Sherlie" respectively, which is not from the canon, but feels right, and Fry even looks like the Sidney Paget illustrations from the canon. His share of the comic relief is the wittiest. Sadly, Eddie Marsan's Inspector Lestrade is reduced to a cameo, at best.

But the best scenes are between Holmes and his nemesis. Rather than following the clichés that come with most portrayals of Moriarty, "Game of Shadows" takes the Professor back to his roots as a respected math scholar who leads a double life as a crime lord. Jared Harris is perfectly cast in the role, and the climactic scene between Downey Jr. and Harris is spine-tingling good and alone worth the price of admission.

Batman: Arkham City (2011 Video Game)

This is What It's Like to be Batman

[5 November 2011]

Licensed games, as a general rule, aren't anything to write home about. But video games have been especially cruel to Batman in the past. "Batman: Vengeance" featured frustrating combat laden with clunky animations and vehicles that handled terribly. "Batman Begins" was an all-too linear stealth game that required Batman to take out enemies in the exact manner and order he was intended to,because his Kevlar armor wasn't enough to save him from being killed just by having a gun pointed at him. So, this was what it was like to be Batman?

Then, in 2009, against all odds,Rocksteady released "Arkham Asylum." Instead of being a tie-in to existing movies or comics, it took place in the developers' own unique version of Batman's universe. Turns out to make players feel more like they were in Batman's shoes, it just took a good combination of stealth game play and brute combat, with a healthy dollop of fan service thrown on for good measure. It was, without a doubt, the best Batman gaming experience there was. Until now.

"Batman: Arkham City", blows it completely out of the water. An improvement in every way imaginable, it picks up where the last game left off. A huge section of Gotham City has been walled off and is now patrolled by heavily armed security teams. The city's captured criminal element has been transferred in from the old asylum and Blackgate Prison. Batman, naturally suspicious, finds a way inside to investigate, and he finds a gang war being being waged by some of his most notable arch-enemies.

Those who have played "Arkham Asylum" will be familiar with the basic game play, divided between two main components: free-flow combat and stealth, or "predator", tactics, enabling Batman to take out throngs of thugs head-on and pick out armed enemies from the shadows with equal ease. Free-flow combat is mainly accomplished by alternating between an "attack" and "counter", combined with a direction, to move from on enemy to another, breaking necks and cashing checks (in for upgrades). Fighting also makes use of Batman's "wonderful toys", with different gadgets being mapped to simple button combos. New gadgets and upgrades are collected throughout, providing more variety and a heavier emphasis on Batman's weaponry than in the last game. There are also new types of enemies that must be "stunned" first using specific combos, which keeps fights from being identical button-mashers, but sadly also slows the pace a little.

Predator tactics come into play when Bats enters an area being guarded by armed foes. While Batman has ballistic armor that can be upgraded, for the most part running into the line of an armed baddie's fire leads to a quick death. But the game gives you enough freedom to feel like Batman, hiding in the shadows not out of fear, but in order to strike fear. There is an even larger variety of "takedowns" than in the last game, allowing Batman to take advantage of elements of his environment such as ventilation shafts, gargoyles, and plywood barriers to pick off stragglers and watch their allies grow progressively more terrified.

The biggest improvement between games is the massive open-world that provides the setting for the game. Although some building can only be accessed as the story and your inventory allows, for the most part, Arkham City is your oyster from the moment you get in. Using a combination of gliding, diving, and grappling, you can battle random clusters of thugs for XP, follow up on various side missions as you discover them, or just admire the scenery. Most of the key locations you'd expect in Gotham City can be found walled off in Arkham, and Batman fans will definitely be in awe. I spent the first few hours gliding around the city, listening in on inmate's conversations, and occasionally swooping down to put the fear of God into them. Now THIS is what it's like to be Batman.

While there were references to just about every character in Batman's universe in the previous game, here just about all of them appear. To provide a list is to spoil many of the surprises, but returning enemies include the Joker, voiced in a stand-out performance by Mark Hamill (yes, THAT Mark Hamill.) Since he's announced his retirement from the role, this will probably be your last chance to get goosebumps listening to his pitch-perfect interpretation. Harley Quinn also returns, with a new (and, in my opinion, improved) costume, and also a new voice, with the Batman: TAS "Batgirl" Tara Strong taking over the role. Kevin Conroy also fits nicely back into the role of the titular character, who he voiced in TAS and the previous game. Another great performance comes from Nolan North, who voices my all-time favorite Batman villain, the Penguin. Here reinvented as a racketeer with the hint of a London accent and a cigar and broken glass bottle to replace the old cigarette holder and monocle, respectively, is a character that's still Oswald Cobblepot but is not to be trifled with. Chances are, between the main story line, the Easter eggs scattered throughout the city, and side missions, if you've got favorite Batman characters, they're in this game, and they're done justice.

The storyline is from TAS writer Paul Dinni, and ranks alongside of some of my favorite Batman comics. Like in "Arkham Asylum", fantastic use is made of the characters in the "Game Over" screens, now with a larger cast of enemies to taunt you, your taunter usually being determined by whose henchman defeats you. Unlike "Arkham Asylum", a fantastic game up until its anti-climatic ending, "Arkham City" only ever gets better as you progress through it. The only way this game isn't for you is if you absolutely hate Batman, great game play, and stunning graphics.

Why are you still reading this when you should be playing right now?

Sucker Punch (2011)

Visually Gorgeous

[10/10 · 29 March 2011]

"Sucker Punch" is gorgeous. And I'm not just talking about its quintet of leading ladies, who are all undeniably attractive. Every shot of the movie is absolutely drool-worthy.

It's no "Citizen Kane" or "Casablanca." But who expects it to be? Anyone familiar with director Zack Snyder's previous films (the remake of "Dawn of the Dead", "300", "Watchmen") or anyone who's seen a trailer of the movie, should know exactly what to expect.

It's hard to describe the plot because there's plenty open to interpretation. The movie follows a girl, played by Emily Browning, known to the audience mostly as "Babydoll." Locked away in an insane asylum, she and/or the other girl(s) cope with reality by retreating into one or more levels of fantasy. Now's not the place to get into my interpretation of the plot. Suffice it to say the "story", while being a little bit deeper than what you'd expect from your typical action flick, is still just a line to hang jaw-dropping action scenes on.

As Snyder's first completely original screenplay, "Sucker Punch" is exactly what you would expect from the imagination of the man who directed "Watchmen". Almost every male fantasy conceivable is brought to life on screen, from the beautiful women (obviously), to samurai swords, epic fantasy and science fiction landscapes, heavy artillery, evil robots, and more. Snyder doesn't exactly have a flare for dialog, and some of the lines feel clunky. So, thankfully, not much talking is done. The dramatic opening sequence, after a little bit of narration, is silent except for a cinematic cover of "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)", telling the audience everything they need to know through action and the actor's expressions. Similarly, not much talking gets done during the movie's big action set pieces, definitely the highlights of the film.

As with Snyder's other films, it's easy to compare the way certain scenes are shot to a video game or a music video. The soundtrack is perfect, incorporating covers of classic and modern rock songs perfect for each scene they accompany, including some performed by Emily Browning herself in an enchanting, haunting voice. Even the incidental music adds to the movie's excitement.

Being a movie with five major characters that's less than two hours long, not all of the characters feel fully developed. Jena Malone as "Rocket" delivers the best acting performance, sharing most of the movie's dramatic scenes with Abbie Cornish as "Sweet Pea." Vanessa Hudgens as "Blondie" actually does surprisingly well during the action scenes, but her voice still seems too sweet for this kind of role, and she's not going to help audience forget she's a graduate of "High School Musical" anytime soon. Emily Browning does a fine job with the leading role, conveying more through her big eyes and pouty lips than any of her lines. Jamie Chung as "Amber", personally my favorite character, sadly gets very little screen time. As far as supporting performances go, Carla Gugino delivers yet another solid acting job, Jon Hamm adds a touch of class, and Scott Glenn intrigues as the mysterious, homespun wisdom spurning "Wiseman." Oscar Isaac is noteworthy as a nasty who doesn't seem like a typical Hollywood villain but an all-too-real sleaze ball audiences should love to loathe.

But for the most part, dialog and story aren't Zack Snyder's strong suits. The CGI is breathtaking, the action choreography's plenty of fun, the girls all look great, and the cinematography is a feast for the eyes. And not just during action scenes. Each time the camera panned around the murky corners of the asylum, I found myself turning my head to try to see what was coming. "Sucker Punch" may not be for everyone, but it delivers everything the marketing promises. It's a visual feast with a script that, while not sensational, manages to be just good enough to stay out of the way.

Easy A (2010)

F'in "A"

[3/10 · 21 September 2010]

The more I thought about "Easy A", the less I liked it. This is a shame, because while there's plenty to like about it, there's just as much to dislike. The movie is inspired by "The Scarlet Letter" by Nathaniel Hawthorne, which I'll admit, I never got around to studying in my A.P. English class. But I know the book is about adultery, which the movie has very little to do with. True, there is some adultery in the movie. But whenever the term is thrown around in the movie, it doesn't mean what the filmmakers seem to think it means. "Adultery", for the record, is when a married person sleeps with someone other than his or her spouse. Olive Penderghast, as played by Emma Stone, never sleeps with a married person. In fact, she never sleeps with anyone at all.

Instead, the plot starts when Olive invents a fictional boyfriend to get out of going camping with her best friend (Aly Michalka, currently starring on The CW's "Hellcats") and her bizarre parents. Soon, the rumor mill starts churning, and extra-virgin Olive gets a reputation as the kind of girl who "puts out." Moral of the story: gossip is bad. But it doesn't end there. Olive's goals as a protagonist are unclear. Confusingly, she alternates each scene between trying to dispel the rumor and trying to fuel it. You see, no one paid attention to poor Olive when they thought she was a virgin. Because she's too smart. Or nerdy. Or something. Never mind that guys everywhere would be tripping over themselves noticing her because she looks exactly like Emma Stone. Of course, the cliché of the beautiful nerd who everyone ignores has been used in countless movies before. But at least they usually put a pair of glasses on her and give her a funny hairdo until her "transformation." In "Easy A", gorgeous Emma Stone always looks like gorgeous Emma Stone.

Of course, it could easily have been a plot point that guys won't talk to Olive because she chooses to be a virgin. But again the character waffles between being a virgin because she's "not that kind of girl" and just being a virgin because guys won't talk to her. Anyway, the movie is framed as a web-cast in which Olive bares her soul to her entire high school. Because we're expected to believe that high schoolers spend their free time watching their classmates' web-casts. Or that two hours of confession will convince them of anything other than Olive's desperation for attention.

Leading Olive's persecution is Marianne (Amanda Bynes), the head of the high school's Bible study. Because in the "Easy A" universe, Christians are the scum of society. Nazis in any given movie set during WWII are portrayed more sympathetically than Christians are here. Amanda Bynes' character spews out ignorance and hatred while her cohorts nod and strum praise music with vacant expressions. True, there are people in real life that fit the stereotype, but the film makes no attempt to balance them out with at least one character who dares to stand up to Marianne, or to utter a word of disagreement with her, or even to possess a real personality. They just act as Marianne's brainwashed followers, while their preacher ogles high school students doing web-casts in his spare time. They're nothing more than cartoon villains.

Not that any of the other characters are any more realistic or any less cartoony, but at least they have solid performances behind them. Michalka's character is filled with fun energy, Stanley Tucci and Patricia Clarkson steal the shows as Olive's wacky parents, Thomas Haden Church gets some good lines as Olive's favorite teacher, and Malcolm McDowell is criminally underused as the school principal. But it makes sense that Amanda Bynes chose to retire after filming "Easy A." I've never really thought of her as a bad actress. But here she plays against type, and it results in the worst performance of both Bynes' career and this movie. It's hard to tell whether she's playing Marianne as completely insincere and phony or if it's just terrible acting, but either way she succeeds in giving her character less than a single dimension.

Another problem with the movie becomes apparent within the first few minutes. The pitch for the movie was "The Scarlet Letter" in a modern day high school by way of 1980's John Hughes teen comedies. The movie won't quit reminding the audience of this. While some self-awareness is always good, calling out that something's cliché as it happens doesn't make it any less cliché. By the time Haden Church's character mentions that he doesn't want to be like the cliché hip teacher his students see in all of the movies, you get the idea of how it would have felt if the cast of "Alien" had spent the entire movie discussing how their scenario was just like Jaws . . . but in outer space. While there are some clever lines, most of the time, the dialog's too "clever" for its own good.

Emma Stone deserves her turn as a leading lady. Unfortunately, her charm isn't enough to carry the film. I enjoyed her more in her supporting turn as the last surviving hottie of a zombie apocalypse in "Zombieland." If the movie were cut down to its most promising moments, a scene where Stone belts along to a Natasha Bedingfield song (already viewable a dozen places online), a similar scene where she gets a full song and dance number towards the end, and any scene showcasing the family dynamics between Stone, Tucci, and Clarkson, it would have been a more enjoyable film, and it would have been rid of about an hour and ten minutes of uncomfortable dialogue. Unfortunately for screenwriter Bert V. Royal, it'd also be rid of the plot.

Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed (2008)

Keep An Open Mind

[7/10 · 23 May 2010]

Going in to the Ben Stein narrated documentary, "Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed", I had read several of the reviews, both by professional critics and on this site, attacking the movie for being biased, deceptive, "intellectually dishonest", and all-around poorly made. That said, I went into the movie not expecting much more than to get a few laughs out of Ben Stein's deadpan narration.

First of all, for those who don't already know, the purpose of "Expelled" is not to offer proof for Intelligent Design, but rather to expose a bias against Intelligent Design proponents in the scientific community. I have seen websites and reviews attempting to rebuke the points Ben Stein makes in the movie, but the bias against believers in ID can't be denied. One just has to look at any statement made by atheists like Richard Dawkins and Daniel Dennett (both featured in the film) to see that. At one point in "Expelled", a series of protesters are shown holding picket signs with slogans like, "Religion is the root of all terrorism. All terrorists are religious people, none are atheists." Of course, many atheists do feel this way. In the context of the film, it becomes suddenly apparent how terrible of a generalization this is.

Many have called the documentary "propaganda", and that may be true, but I'd argue most modern documentaries are closer to propaganda than unbiased journalism, and if that's such a bad thing, I can't see why Michael Moore's films get much higher ratings than this one. Ben Stein and the makers of "Expelled" are obviously biased in favor of ID. Okay. Again, most modern documentaries are far from impartial. And Richard Dawkins and other prominent atheists have publicly held the opposite bias. Many scientists call ID and its proponents "ignorant" and "irrational." In certain scenes in "Expelled", Ben Stein finally portrays the other side. He illustrates how some theories offered by the opponents of ID can seem just as ignorant, irrational, foolish, and silly. The shoe is now on the other foot, and it's only fair.

Even if, as a viewer, you feel some of the claims made in the film are unsubstantiated or exaggerated, "Expelled" asks some legitimate questions and provides some legitimate answers. What is the difference between the "theory of evolution" and "Darwinism"? What is the difference between "Intelligent Design" and "creationism"? Are science and religion incompatible? Is ID science or religion? These are questions every person should at least consider before choosing sides.

One of the most controversial claims in the documentary is that there may be a link between Darwinism and the Holocaust. The film makes a point of raising a disclaimer that Darwinishm doesn't always lead to evils like Nazism, but once it's pointed out no one should be able to deny the similarities between Darwin's concept of "Survival of the Fittest" and Hitler's concept of a "Master Race." The fact that eugenics was once considered a fascinating branch of science is disturbing as well.

Although the film is very much pro-ID, the documentary does include interviews with experts on both sides of the argument. Stein doesn't generally make evolutionary scientists look stupid or evil. In fact, Richard Dawkins appears very charismatic and erudite in his debate with Stein near the end of the film. The passionate atheist and the monotoned host make very well-matched opponents.

I'm not usually into documentaries, so I will say that I found this one a little dry and slow. There's a great soundtrack, and brief clips from old movies are inserted throughout the documentary to keep the pace up, but the movie still seems a little slow at times. However, it's surprising to see that there's something that Ben Stein, who is famous for his dry monotone, is truly PASSIONATE about. Especially in the midst of the era of the "New Atheism." His narration is dry, sarcastic, and witty; everything you'd expect from Stein. And I respect him more for going out on a limb with this movie, a move that might lose him some respect from those who don't share his beliefs, as well as a number of fans. And even if only some of the things he says are completely true, or even partially true, they should still be enough to stir anyone into indignance, or even action. There are plenty of documentaries and books showing the other side of the argument. Ignore the negative reviews, keep an open mind, and "Expelled" should at least give you something to think about. Then, if there are points made that you still don't believe or agree with, you can always do some research of your own.

Quantum of Solace (2008 Video Game)

A Review for the Actual VG, and the PS2 Version to Boot!

[6/10 · 18 May 2010]

"GoldenEye 007" for the Nintendo 64 set the bar high, for both movie tie-in games and James Bond games. Since then, "Everything or Nothing" and "From Russia With Love" have done an excellent job of allowing gamers to feel like they were James Bond. "Quantum of Solace" for the PS2 is the latest in a long line of James Bond games, and it's decent, but doesn't meet expectations.

First of all, there's a difference between the QoS game for the PS2 and the QoS game for next-gen consoles. While the next-gen version of the game is primarily a first-person shoot, the PS2 version of the game is exclusively third-person, offers a smaller arsenal of weapons, and has much weaker graphics. James Bond looks remarkably like Daniel Craig, but the other characters look more like something from the Nintendo 64 game. Particularly, Olga Kurylenko's character, one of the most beautiful Bond girls in decades, looks decidedly unattractive here. Also, the PS2 game is missing several of the levels from the next-gen version, including only one new level, the Haitian docks, as a consolation.

Level design in other Bond games wasn't exactly complex, but in QoS the missions are far too linear. Most of the game play in the PS2 version of the game consists of running into a fire fight, ducking behind cover, then either "blind firing" from safety or peeking out to try a more precise shot. In some instances it's possible to execute a stealth attack, but rarely worth it. Melee attacks, unlike EON or FRWL, consist solely of a pistol whip, which can be effective, but if you miss you will almost certainly die. There's no departing from the beaten path to execute "Bond moves", no playing with fancy gadgets (fair enough, since Q doesn't appear in either of the movies the game is based on, "Quantum of Solace" or "Casino Royale"). Bond isn't even able to carry grenades, though several enemies are able to lob them at him. There's also absolutely no vehicle levels, which is a shame since the source material provided plenty of great moments to drive an Aston Martin, motorcycle, boat, or a DC3 plane.

The game is at its best when its letting you reenact moments from the films. Locations like the Madagascar construction site from CR and the Sienna rooftops and Perla Las Dunas Hotel from QoS are recreated accurately in the game, so that it feels like you are actually playing through the events of the movies. These are the moments the game makes a worthy movie tie-in. On the other hand, the worst aspects of the game is when it differs from the movies. Across consoles, first of all, rather than traditional cut scenes, most of the story is told through graphics like those on M's computer module in the QoS film. Plot points are quickly communicated through conversations between M and other characters following Bond's progress. Granted, the game has to combine the stories of two major films, but in the end it's still far too brief, and there's no excuse for the "tell, don't show" approach that skips over huge chunks of the plot and doesn't allow the player to be present at events such as Bond's assault on an embassy or the climactic card game in CR.

Major characters are excluded from the plot altogether. While Daniel Craig, Olga Kurylenko, Eva Green, Mads Mikkelson, and Judi Dench all provide their voice and likeness to the game, memorable characters like Gemma Arterton's Agent Strawberry Fields, Caterina Murino's Solange, and Ivana Milicevic's Valenka fail to appear at all. The characters of Renee Mathis and Felix Leiter, major players in both movies, are left out entirely. Instead, forgettable characters like Elvis, Kratt, and Dimitrios become major boss fights. Apart from Craig and Dench, the other talents from the movie (at least in the PS2 version) are underutilized, only getting a few lines a piece. Also, scenes from the movie like the Bregenz Opera House and the Miama science museum have been changed for video game reasons. While both scenes in the movies were open to the public and crowded with civilians, the game has the locations closed, forcing Bond to sneak around them after hours. Once Bond is finally in the science museum, instead of the movie's captivating body works exhibit, the room contains a few model helicopters and some boring artifacts. The game's credits even spell Judi Dench's name wrong. (They credit "Judy Dench" as the voice of M.) The game is fun while it lasts, but it only takes a few hours to play through once. With no unlockable content and no multi-player for this console, the game has very little re-playability. While fun while it lasts, QoS, particularly on the PS2, doesn't quite capture what it means to be 007, and is worth only a rental, even for hardcore 007 fans.

Dante's Inferno (2010 Video Game)

Epic, Divine, and a Hell of a Lot of Fun

[10/10 · 14 March 2010]

"Dante's Inferno" the game is epic enough to be worthy of the poem it was based on. Sure, people are going to compare it to "God of War", and, from what I hear, with good reason. But I've never had the opportunity to play "God of War." On it's own merits, Inferno is an amazing game.

Dante Alighieri, the poet behind The Divine Comedy, has been transformed, for video game purposes, into one very cranky Crusader. He's as hardcore as video game heroes come. The kind of hardcore who sews his life story in pictures into a cross on his chest. The kind of hardcore who is willing to endure all nine circles of Hell to save his girlfriend, the "radiant Beatrice." The level design is the standout factor here. Inspired by Dante's poem, the 9 circles (with the possible exception of Fraud) are done justice. Lust is filled with phallic and yonic imagery. In Gluttony, platforms are made of what looks like huge slabs of fat and meat. In Greed, there's a river of melted gold. In Violence, the river is made of boiling blood. Notably, the game forms a steady descent through each. The only noticeable loading screen is when starting a game or loading a save file. Otherwise, each stage transitions naturally as Dante climbs lower and lower into the depths. At the same time, each circle has a color scheme and look that makes it unique from all the others.

Gameplay fits the classic "beat 'em up" or "hack 'n' slash" genre. Dante must defeat waves of hellions before moving on through each level. He can attack with either Death's Scythe (ganked from the Grim Reaper himself), a cross that shoots holy beams (way cooler than I make it sound), or various magic attacks (based on a supply of manna that can be depleted and replenished). There are also plenty of special moves and combos, all wonderfully simple and fun to execute, that can be unlocked with souls, the in-game currency. Each Circle of Hell introduces new enemies that will be encountered for the rest of the game. Limbo features unbaptized babies with blades for arms that coo when they attack and cry when being attacked. Lust adds half-naked temptresses. Gluttony brings forth nasty "Gluttons" who will swallow Dante whole. Heresy sees heretics, enemies that can perform black magic and are immune to cross attacks. And so on and so forth.

The only circle I found less than perfect was "Fraud." A few lines are spoken about the type of souls that reside in Fraud between bouts of Dante fighting enemies under certain conditions (fight with unlimited manna, fight without the ability to use manna, and the completely inexplicable, protect the innocents. What are innocents doing in the eight circle of Hell?) It feels more like some mini-games that should be unlocked after beating the game than part of the storyline. Fun, but it leaves me imagining what it could have been like if Visceral Games took the time to design a Fraud that was as detailed as the other 8 circles.

There's also some platforming and puzzle-solving mixed in there (though all the booby traps had me wondering where people go when they die in Hell.) Also, along the way, there are plenty of opportunities to talk to Virgil, Dante's guide from the poem. All Virgil does is quote stanzas from The Divine Comedy, but in this case, that definitely not a bad thing. In fact, one of the best things I can say about the game is it made me want to read Dante Alighieri's epic poems. Along the way, Dante also can collect hidden relics that effect his abilities and choose to absolve or punish the souls of historical and mythical characters that are condemned to the Inferno (such as Pontius Pilate, Orphues, and Attilla the Hun), causing Dante to level up either a Holy or Unholy Path.

Best of all, there's none of the cheese factor I was expecting when I started playing the game. The acquiring and trading of souls, the attacking unbaptized babies, the power of Beatrice's cross and the various magic spells, and the monstrous boss battles are all integrated in ways that I imagine are right in line with the spirit of Dante's epic, if not exactly the letter of it. Also, the voice acting's pretty good, especially when the closest thing to a big name celebrity doing the voices is Vanessa Branch, the Orbit gum spokeswoman, as the voice of Beatrice.

Sherlock Holmes (2009)

They Finally Got It Exactly Right!

[10/10 · 27 December 2009]

Nearly hundreds of actors have played Sherlock Holmes and his sidekick Dr. Watson, and it may seem rash to call Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law the best Holmes-and-Watson-duo so far. But I've been a Sherlock Holmes fan my whole life, and most of the portrayals I've seen of the character only focus on an aspect or two of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's character. In Guy Ritchie's film, as in Doyle's "canon", Sherlock Holmes is an avid boxer, a martial artist, a dabbler in many sciences, and a master of disguise. Most importantly, he's an expert in logic and deduction. He playfully torments his housekeeper Ms. Hudson (Geraldine James) and shares an antagonistic but symbiotic relationship with police Inspector Lestrade (Eddie Marsan).

The movie opens with Holmes and Watson apprehending serial killing Satanist Lord Blackwood (played broodingly by Mark Strong). Blackwood is executed, but when he seemingly rises from the dead, the deductive duo must determine whether it's a supernatural occurrence or if there's a logical explanation. It's exactly the type of mystery Doyle would have devised, with plenty of twists and opportunities for Holmes to show off his genius as he races to stop a plot to take over England and (gasp!) America. Everything from the experiments Holmes performs in his Baker Street flat to his climatic revelation of the mystery on the Tower Bridge seems perfectly in line with Doyle's writing.

One of the only departures from the canon that bothered me was Sherlock's introduction to Dr. Watson's fiancée, Mary Morstan, played as a delicate English rose by Kelly Reilly. In the stories, Mary was Holmes' client in "The Sign of Four" before Holmes first encountered Irene Adler (Rachel McAdams) in "A Scandal in Bohemia." Then again, the continuity of the stories was rarely important to filmmakers, or even to Sir Arthur, so I'm just nitpicking.

As a film on its own merits, "Sherlock Holmes" is almost perfect. The movie's opening shot grabs you, and Guy Ritchie's directing stays gripping all the way through the end titles. His version of Victorian London is moody and atmospheric. Hans Zimmer's quirky score blends well with the film's tone and Downey Jr.'s off-kilter Holmes. Meanwhile, Jude Law transforms Dr. Watson from the bumbling comic relief of most movies into a cool, competent sidekick. Perhaps owing to his own considerable acting chops, he's the rare Watson who manages to be as interesting and watchable as Holmes. When he leaps into action, he relies on a sword-cane and a trusty revolver, while Sherlock favors a riding crop (which die-hard fans will recall was his preferred method of self-defense in the canon). Rachel McAdams manages to tweak Sherlock's classic adversary into a feisty action heroine. All the while, another familiar adversary skulks in the shadows.

Even when Sherlock Holmes feels a little bit more like James Bond, he doesn't feel any less like Sherlock Holmes. Ritchie finds a way to depict Sherlock's fighting as a mental exercise as much as it's a physical feat. In the same way, though "Sherlock Holmes" is grander and more commercial than Guy Ritchie's usual films, it doesn't feel any less like Guy Ritchie.

Inglourious Basterds (2009)

"Inglourious" (sic) Is Right!

[1/10 · 25 August 2009]

"Overrated" and "boring as hell." These are the words that kept coming to mind during the three hours of monotony that my friends recommended to me as "amazing." Either they were lying to me, they saw a different "Inglourious Basterds", or I'm the only one who can see that the emperor is naked.

I enjoyed the three previous Quentin Tarantino films I've seen, "Pulp Fiction", "Reservoir Dogs", and "Death Proof." Not much happens, but there's a certain theatricality to the way Tarantino's often-nonlinear stories unfold.

"Basterds" has all of the Tarantino trademarks: long stretches of mundane, but amusing, dialogue, larger than life characters, and occasional splatters of gore. But in his previous films, Tarantino was able to pull all this off with more panache. Every heavily-subtitled (most of the dialogue is either in German or French) scene drags its feet for what seems like forever, and only sometimes does the dialogue even approach being interesting. The plot, little there is, is divided into episodic chapters like a 1940's "Pulp Fiction." But this time, Tarantino exchanges depth for period detail, as if the historical significance of WWII will make up for all of the movie's shortcomings. The Basterds of the title, a team of Jewish American soldiers infiltrating German-occupied France to take brutal revenge on Nazi soldiers, actually get only a small percentage of the screen time. Most of the chapters focus on the film's German and French characters.

While Tarantino's previous efforts were made up of characters that started out resembling pulp creations and then grew in terms of complexity, all of the characters in "Basterds", both heroes and villains, are as flat as cardboard from beginning to end. This wouldn't be such a bad thing if the film was an action movie like the trailers seemed to suggest. But "Basterds" is completely dialogue and character driven. 90% of the movie is people having conversation while sitting at tables.

While "Pulp Fiction" featured an all-star cast led by Samuel L. Jackson (who lends his voice to "Basterds" as a narrator for a couple brief moments) and Bruce Willis, "Basterds" eschews stars for lesser known international character actors. Not to say any of them are bad actors. Christoph Waltz, Daniel Bruhl, and the haunting, enchanting Melanie Laurent are actually quite good. But none of them are able to entertain for any reasonable amount of time with the flat characters and even flatter dialogue they are given to work with. Diane Kruger ("National Treasure") is pushed to the background for most of her scenes. Brad Pitt, effortlessly evoking a lazy Tennessee accent, is entertaining every minute he's on screen, but those minutes are actually few and far between. The most entertaining performance actually comes from Mike Myers, in one scene in the middle of "Basterds", as a British General.

In the end, "Inglourious Basterds" is more boring than any film about a plot to assassinate Hitler has a right to be and offers little to the cinema other than a title that rolls off the tongue nicely.

The Pink Panther 2 (2009)

Despite the Lame Title, Martin's Panther is still on the Right Trail

[8/10 · 19 February 2009]

"The Pink Panther 2" may lack the intelligence and sophistication of the original Blake Edwards/Peter Sellers comedies, and even the zest and heart of Steve Martin's previous entry in the series. But like the Pink Panther diamond itself, "The Pink Panther 2" is still a gem, in spite of its flaws.

One flaw is the title. I was disappointed when the previous film's working title was shortened from "The Birth of the Pink Panther," and before the curtain went down on that one I had a sneaking suspicion they'd name the sequel "Pink Panther 2." It's okay that they ignore the fact that this is the eleventh movie, not the second, because this is one of those Hollywood "reboots." But it's just lazy, especially when there are plenty of "The BLANK of the Pink Panther" and "The Pink Panther does BLANK" titles left to choose from. That said, the movie is nowhere near as lame as its title.

When the movie opens, Inspector Clouseau has been put on parking ticket duty by his jealous superior Chief Inspector Dreyfus (John Cleese) right after winning the Medal of Honor. Cleese, like Herbert Lom (the original Dreyfus) and unlike Kevin Kline in the previous film, uses his natural British accent rather than attempting a French one. Unfortunately Cleese, unlike Herbert Lom but like Kevin Kline before him, doesn't attempt an eye twitch, either. When priceless artifacts are stolen by a cat burglar known as "The Tornado" (like "The Phantom" in the original movie, but without David Niven's panache), a "dream team" is assembled out of detectives representing the countries in which the crimes took place. And when the Pink Panther diamond (last seen as a rock on Beyonce's finger, now a honking gem on public display in a Paris museum) is stolen, Clouseau joins oily Italian playboy sleuth Andy Garcia (the new Ocean's Eleven trilogy), London master of deduction Alfred Molina (Doc Ock in Spider-Man 2), Japanese computer expert Yuki Matsuzaki, and the author who is writing the book on the Tornado (Aishwarya Rai Bachchan) in interrogating prime suspect Jeremy Irons.

Garcia, Molina, Rai, Matsuzaki and Irons are all magnificent actors, but none of them are comedians per se. Garcia and Molina both get their share of zingers, and Aishwarya Rai looks lovely, but a Pink Panther movie needs actors who can blend into the background, not steal the spotlight from Clouseau. Steve Martin continues to fill the role of Clouseau fantastically. In my opinion, he is the only actor other than Sellers to truly make the character his own. He fares better with a director other than Harold Zwart, though. In this film, he lacks the pathos established in the last film. He's less child-like and more childish.

Also, director Harold Zwart and screenwriters Scott Neustadter and Michael H. Weber seem to be trying too hard to capture the sharp-edged, adult humor of the old Blake Edwards comedies. Sometimes it works, but sometimes it's at odds with the kid-friendly, broad slapstick also presented. The character of Cato is still missing, but they've found ways to incorporate all of the elements of the character without him. The all-out karate ambush sequence is successfully revived in a surprising way I won't spoil here. And Yuki Matsuzaki's character becomes the butt of Clouseau's old "little yellow friend" line, leading to a scene in which Lilly Tomlin, playing a political correctness instructor, tells Clouseau why he can't get away with saying this. Unfortunately, the political correctness coaching scenes go too far. Yes, it's good to see Martin reunited with his old co-star Lilly Tomlin. Yes, in today's age Clouseau would be considered a racist, sexist, small-minded twit. But how long do we have to dwell on that fact?

But while the jokes all work on different levels, the important thing is that they do work. While I preferred the tone and pace of the previous film, "The Pink Panther 2" does deliver big belly laughs. John Cleese doesn't have the same chemistry with Steve Martin that Kevin Kline did, but he's a much better choice for the role. He does that stiff upper-lipped deadpan British humor thing he's so good at, and it suits the role incredibly well. His few brief moments on screen are some of the movie's most hilarious. Cleese, Martin, Garcia, and Molina all have some razor-sharp one-liners, too, most of which are saved for the incredibly funny climax.

As in all of the Pink Panther films, the opening credit animation is a highlight. It's funny, stylish, and sophisticated: everything you'd expect from a Pink Panther cartoon. For fans, the credits alone will be worth the price of admission. Jean Reno, Emily Mortimer, and Steve Martin continue to have great chemistry together. Phillip Goodwin returns in the almost unnoticeable role of Dreyfus' confidant. In the same way the worst James Bond movies provides more thrills than most other action flicks, a weak Pink Panther movie still provides more belly laughs than most other comedies. And there are plenty of laughs to be had in "The Pink Panther 2."

The Spirit (2008)

That's Really Damn Weird

[4/10 · 30 December 2008]

Suicidal gay pedophiles, Nazi propaganda, mindless overweight clones, a hero that French kisses at least five different women. These are the elements of "The Spirit", comic book writer Frank Miller's latest action thriller, directorial debut, and disappointment.

While I've never read any of the original "Spirit" comics, I understand they were the work of Will Eisner, who Miller apparently considers a mentor. You think this would demand some kind of reverence to the source material, a sort of 1940's blend of "Batman" and "Dick Tracy." The challenge of this is to find some balance between the colorful, cheesy atmosphere of the era and the more hard-edged, serious tone recent comic book adaptations have taken. Instead, Miller takes the extremes, alternating between the ends of the spectrum with each scene.

For example, half of the actors seem to be taking their roles incredibly seriously, while the other half seems to think this is the biggest joke of their careers. Gabriel Macht, the relative newcomer who landed the title role, plays the Spirit with just the right mixture of charm and tough guy swagger. Eva Mendes also plays is straight as the Spirit's childhood sweetheart turned femme fatale. On the other end, Samuel L. Jackson, who I usually consider a redeeming quality of even the worst movies he's appeared in, gives the most cringe-worthy performance of his career, playing the archvillian Octopus as a way campy, over-the-top freak. Which isn't completely Jackson's fault, considering Miller's script calls for him to don, alternately, a pimp outfit, a samurai robe, and a Nazi uniform. Scarlett Johansen plays the Octopus's equally campy hench-wench.

The movie is visually stunning in every respect. The Spirit is one of the coolest looking crimefighters to come along in a while, with a black trenchcoat that billows behind him like a cape, a neon red necktie, a domino mask, and an always-trendy fedora. The "Sin City" like color desaturation and intensification always looks great. Though sometimes it seems random, and a cheap way to enchance product placement (in one scene, a bottle of Aquafina seems to be the only thing in color, centered on the screen, and glowing in the dark.) The actresses in the film also make great eye candy: Johannsen, Paz Vega (as a French belly dancer/hitwoman), Jaime King (as the angel of death), Stana Katic (as a rookie cop), and the especially smoldering Mendes. But it's all style over substance.

The dialogue is mostly groan-inducing, the Spirit is a big enough manwhore to make James Bond look like the go-steady type, and the plot seems better suited to an Indiana Jones film than a film noir. Also, it's hard to create suspense when you keep reminding your audience that your hero can't die, and that his main opposition is an army of overweight, idiotic clones with names that all end in "-os" for some reason (all played annoying by Louis Lombardi).

The whole film can best be summed up by a scene where the Samuel L. Jackson mad scientist character (who, BTW, has a random and creepy obsession with eggs) looks at his latest creation, a hopping foot with Lombardi's head, and remarks, "That's really damn weird."

Quantum of Solace (2008)

James Bond is Back, and That's Something to be Thankful For

[8/10 · 9 December 2008]

Bond movies traditionally come out right around Thanksgiving. This year, "Quantum of Solace" was something Bond fans can truly be thankful for. Contrary to popular opinion, I liked it more than "Casino Royale." I liked it more than "Die Another Day." (Maybe not more that "The World is not Enough", but since that was the first Bond film I saw theatrically, it has sentimental value for me.) All in all, this is the best experience I've had going to see a Bond movie in a long time.

After seeing CR, I wasn't sure whether or not I liked Daniel Craig as Bond. Thanks to QoS, I have to say I still don't rate him as highly as Sean Connery or Timothy Dalton, my two favorite Bonds, but I now fully accept him in the role, and he may even be squeaking into a three-way tie for third place with Pierce Brosnan and Roger Moore. In CR, Bond was portrayed as a "blunt instrument", starting out as an elite Double-Oh agent and slowly evolving into the martini-smooth super-spy we've all come to know and love. QoS continues that evolution. 007 is now on the smoother side of blunt, a thug that looks dashing in a tuxedo and has a taste for the finer things in life. He also has a very dry sense of humor, more apparent than in CR, but not as over the top as in the Brosnan films. Basically, he's awfully close to the character in Ian Fleming's novels.

Like CR, QoS represents a break from tradition concerning the older movies, but at the same time feels more like a traditional Bond film. Bond never introduces himself as "Bond, James Bond", but he never has to. He never orders him martini "shaken, not stirred", but it's implied. And these catch phrase didn't occur in all of the earliest Bond movies, either. All of the other elements are there: the beautiful women (Gemma Arterton and Olga Kurylenko), the beautiful cars (the Aston Martin DBS), and a vast organization bent on world domination.

Unfortunately, the movie's weakest moments are the action scenes. While CR director Martin Campbell has some experience in the genre, QUANTUM director Marc Forester ("Finding Neverland", "Stranger than Fiction") is more used to directing dramas. While some of the action scenes are inventive, the decision to film all of them using a shaky "Cloverfield" handy-cam approach was a mistake. The most inventive action scenes would have been improved by a more traditional steady cam approach, while the shaky cam doesn't really add anything to the more conventional scenes.

On the other hand, the character scenes really work well, and simple scenes, such as Bond spying from a tall scaffolding or shimmying across the wrong side of a balcony to avoid capture, become the film's best action moments. The movie is filled with welcome references to the older movies and Fleming novels (including an unmistakable "Goldfinger" reference). The Bond girls are great. Olga Kurylenko is beautiful and exotic, while fresh-faced Gemma Arterton's younger Bond girl steals the show, even as a secondary character. Her innocence and vulnerability make her unique as a Bond girl, and she's one of the best Bond women in a long time. Matthieu Almaric's villain is one of the least impressive in the series, but that also makes him one of the most realistic. Jack White and Alicia Key's duet "Another Way to Die" is one of the best Bond theme songs ever. And the classic gun barrel, as in CR, appears in a way that makes it new and exciting again.

Finally, QoS's short run time, just under two hours compared to CR's massive just over two-and-a-half, is brief and sweet and ends just in time not to overstay its welcome. All in all, despite the flaws I could pick out, I left the theater grinning like an idiot.