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Reviews
Under the Yum Yum Tree (1963)
Very painful to watch, when it's not boring.
Jack Lemmon and Carol Linley deserve much better than this horrid garbage. Where do I begin? The music by DeVol underscores the lechery of the script, with little flourishes on the "Charge!" theme every time one of the males attempts to seduce a female. Ick. Jack Lemmon's machine gun delivery does speed up the film, but it's wearying. At 32, Dean Jones is a little too old for the college sap part: My attention wandered between his toupeé and Edie Adams' hair helmet. And Carol Linley, whose adorable figure is usually completely obscured by lousy costumes, manages to look perky and sweet despite the stupidity of her role. You should avoid this one; it's pure Junior High School boy material.
Le clan (2004)
total crap
"A beautifully rendered slice-of-life film", says Netflix: I would say it's more a sick pedophile's leering look at young Arabs in some god-forsaken French village. Though there are occasional beautiful shots of a nearby lake (it's hard to screw up sunlight on a lake, folks) the majority of the film is monotonously bland. The young actors are all physically beautiful, but forced to say and do the most unattractive things by this sick twisted film maker. More appropriate adjectives than "beautifully rendered" would be pointless, sickening, ugly, tedious, disjointed, boring, ridiculous, obtuse, unclear, loud, obnoxious, and stupid. Three Dancing Slaves may be the most miserably unpleasant movie I have ever seen. I've been an avid movie watcher for forty years and this is the first time I ever wanted to leave the theater, including PINK FLAMINGOES. But where FLAMINGOES is intended to be funny, and the gross-out humor is intentionally over the top and self-consciously silly, SLAVES takes itself totally seriously. The entire film is conducted without any vestige of humor, grace, or wit, and the gay angle is minor, trivial, and pointless.
Shanghai Express (1932)
The best of the Dietrich/von Sternberg films?
'Shanghai Express' is arguably the greatest of the seven films that featured the collaboration of Marlene Dietrich and Josef von Sternberg. More coherent and exciting than 'Blonde Venus', better written and acted than 'The Blue Angel', visually more exciting than 'The Scarlet Empress', and starring a finer cast than any of their other films, 'Shanghai Express' works as a love story, as a comedy, as adventure, and [almost] as a war story. This is the most successful pairing of the two geniuses; in this film, there is no telling where one leaves off and the other begins.
Smothered in feathers, laces, leather, and satins, Dietrich's long lean body and superbly lit face dominate the film with an air of poised languor. She masterfully conceals her feral, nocturnal energy beneath a lacquered, bored exterior, so that when she does erupt in a fit of violence it is truly shocking. Von Sternberg ordered the entire cast to mimic the monotonous cadence of the train in their dialogue, giving the long slow opening scenes a dreamy quality of suspension and anticipation. Von Sternberg and Dietrich build tension and excitement, sprinkled with well-placed brilliant comic bits, to a climax that is satisfying and delightful.
Like a great novel, this film begins slowly, builds inexorably, and rewards intense scrutiny with the astonishing detail and lavish care invested in it. Far from a 'happy ending', this movie ends with a conquest and a surrender, with a betrayal and with hope.
Pretty Baby (1978)
following in Garbo's footsteps...
In the final, wonderful shot of QUEEN CHRISTINA, Rouben Mamoulian directed Garbo to think of absolutely nothing as the camera slowly zooms in on her perfectly lit face. The result is that the viewer projects a multitude of emotions on that face. It seems that Louis Malle must have given all of the actors in Pretty Baby the same direction! If I had had any emotional connection to the story of a 12 year old whore, it might have worked; unfortunately, i really didn't care, and so the results were downright dull. The sole survivor is Susan Sarandon, whose magnificent eyes pour out emotions like a waterfall despite her lack of facial expression. Pass this film by; it's a dud.